Jane & Maura's Infinite Playlist
by KathyBoPeep
Summary: I took requests on Tumblr for songs that I would write Rizzles one-shots to. A few managed to make into multi-chapters, but they're labelled. Note that only a small few actually use lyrics, I generally try to tell the story behind the song. Ratings are all over the board! I love to hear what you're thinking of them. :D
1. Oskar Schuster - Matilda

**Hi guys! These are a collection of fics inspired by songs. ****There's only a handful with lyrics in them - I usually think that's really cheesy. ****I started this challenge to make myself a better writer. So, I hope that by the end of it, I come out with a better mindset on how to write. I'm going to make this a T rating, but There's a handful with some lady loving, but most are pretty tame. I love feedback, it makes me happy. But, I don't require it ;) Thanks for reading!**

"Look, Jane! It's snowing!"

Jane smiled at the little girl dancing under the cotton downy snowflakes. She had been through a few winters as a Boston native but her best friend Maura had been in someplace in Europe where they didn't get the kind of snow like around here. The tiny blonde looked so cute in her pink puffy coat and purple snowboots. For being 10 years old, Maura was smaller than the other kids, while Jane was the tallest. They sure made an awkward pair, or at least that's what her Ma always said.

Maura danced and danced, throwing her arms out and spinning around, eventually falling into the snow pile behind her. She watched the world spin as she regained her bearings. The school building went in circles, along with the clouds that looked like animals if you stared long enough.

"C'mon Maura, we gotta go inside, the bell rang. Didn't you hear it?" Jane grabbed the younger girls mittened hand, giving a light tug. A deviant smile was all she was given in return.

With an unexpected "whoops!" Jane was pulled by the tiny blonde into the snow pile. She decided they could be late for class, no one ever noticed them. They lay like that for a few minutes, just enjoying the peace and quiet of the empty playground. Finally, after their cheeks were red with chill, Maura spoke up.

"Jane, can we grow up and live in the snow together?" she stared into warm hot chocolate eyes.

"I suppose we can Maura. Why me though? I run around like a boy most of the time" Jane admitted with downcast eyes.

"Well, I like you Jane and….and….c'mon we're late!" Maura jumped up and ran inside, slipping slightly on a hidden ice patch on the blacktop.

Jane just smiled as she stood up. Of course they could live in the snow together, she loved her and would protect her forever.


	2. Bastille - Pompeii

_Take a deep breath Maura, things will work out, they always do._

Maura closed her eyes and took that breath. Exhaling slowly, she silently willed her jittery nerves to leave along with the carbon dioxide. It was a simple dress fitting, she could handle that right?

No. She obviously could not.

She was by herself in this large room full of tulle and ribbons. Fake jewels and glitter were thrown around the small store, making sure every patron left coated in them. Jane was above this, this was so tacky. She was only doing this because of _him_. Casey. The very thought of the vile man made her blood boil. He was so inconsiderate and did not appreciate a single thing Jane had to offer. Maura was experiencing secondhand distaste as a result.

Maura had just sat down from the most awkward dress fitting in her entire life. Apparently this shop only carried dresses in even numbered sizes, so she was forced to wear a size six dress, altered down to a four to accommodate her bust line, which the seamstress made quite a show of. The detail-oriented woman spotted exactly where Jane's wandering eyes had landed, making this situation even more terrible. One could almost say that she was being objectified. Jane had started at the pumps she had worn, she loved her classic Louboutins. Paired with her black dress, they made Maura's legs go on for days. Up her legs, then the dress appreciation started. A satisfied smirk let Maura know that Jane was very much enjoying her view.

She kind of felt awkward on display, but at the same time she wanted to show Jane _exactly_ what she was missing. They'd talked about it until tears were shed. Every single time, the detective refused to give her any sound reasoning for this quick, thrown together marriage. So, Maura had stood up straight, locked her shoulders, and pushed out her chest. If Jane insisted on marrying this man, Maura would not go down quietly.

Now she sat in a simple fold out chair waiting for-

Oh.

Oh goodness. Maura's heart was pounding in her ears and her vision tunneled.

Oh.

Tears flooded Maura's eyes as her heart broke. There, in front of her, was the most gorgeous sight she'd ever seen. She had seen the Louvre, La Tour Eiffel, the Dead Sea, and the Hanging Gardens. But, nothing compared to Jane Rizzoli in a wedding dress.

_That will never be you. She will never be in a wedding dress for anyone but Casey, you fool. _

Maura finally admitted the terrible truths that she'd buried far below the surface. Jane was radiantly glowing in her white, strapless, simple weddings dress. There were no frills or intricate beading, no dips or swirls but she was a piece of art. Maura's breath caught, shaking her back into reality. She had no idea that this could hurt so badly.

"Well, Mrs. Fashionista, do you approve?" Jane said, already knowing that this was not a good idea. She could not see Maura in pain and know she was the cause. It was the worst feeling in the world.

Maura jumped up, and ran out of the store, leaving her purse and belongings sitting on the dirty tile floor. Bursting through the door, she stepped out of her heels. The cold fall sidewalk stung her bare feet. She ran around the corner, into an alley, and leaned on the railing behind the shop and cried.

She cried for all of the possibilities she missed.

She cried for the dress she would never wear on her wedding day.

She cried for dress that she would not take off her wife on their wedding day.

.

She cried for the children she would never parent.

She cried for the oceanic honeymoon they would never have.

She just cried.

She-

"Maura?!"

Maura whipped around to see none other than Jane Rizzoli in a strapless bra and little mesh shorts. She looked so heartbroken, so fragile.

Jane ran towards the shivering blonde, taking in her smeared makeup and pale skin. They were just in a mess.

She enveloped the smaller woman in a hug, so close that no one could separate them. They swayed back and forth and cried together, their tears mixing on their faces as they rocked.

Maura closed her eyes and imagined them dancing in sundresses on the beach somewhere with rings on their hands and their eyes fixated on each other.

Jane imagined them swirling and dancing on the green grass of Fenway park, dancing their first dance as wife and wife while fireworks littered the night sky.

They both stayed in their fantasies for a minute. When Maura felt Jane shiver she opened her eyes to see chocolate eyes red rimmed and brimming with tears. They moved apart, the walls of their hearts tumbling down, and they knew that nothing had changed at all.


	3. Zedd Ft Foxes - Clarity

Jane jolted away at the sharp crack of a knock on her door. She rolled out of her bed, cursing as she accidentally scratched her leg on the ring that her hand was not used to wearing. She found a pair of sweats and t shirt. When Jane eventually tumbled towards her front door, she swung it open and gasped.

Maura Isles stood there sopping wet and crying. She had red marks all up and down her arms, and her normally well-manicured nails were bitten down to the quick. She dripped onto the floor and stared at Jane with fury.

"Oh my God. Maura, what happened? Come in," Jane cried, ushering her best friend into her dark apartment. She flipped on the light switch to see that Maura looked pale, sickly even.

"I see that you're wearing_it,_" Maura spat with such malice that Jane stopped mid-step. That tone was one she'd never heard from her best friend, it was terrifying.

"What am I wearing? Oh, my ring," Jane's tapered to a guilty whisper. That's why Maura was upset.

"Yes. _Oh_" Maura sneered, mocking Jane's tone. She couldn't bring herself to look into Jane's eyes, but she knew that her actions would hurt

"I could take it off around you, if that's what you want?" Jane looked desperate and ready to bargain.

"Why? Why would you even offer that? Do you even _love_ Casey?" Maura cried. She stood up with a sudden burst of confidence and stood toe to toe with. Her wet coat land on the kitchen floor with a squelch and she put two cold hands on Jane's searing neck, pulling her head down so their noses touched.

"Do you even love him?" Maura repeated, feeling her breath bounce back off of her face. Jane's stoic face faltered and her eyebrows creased. She touched her lips onto Jane's, but didn't push anything more.

"No," Jane whispered against Maura's mouth. She could taste the sweet wine and salty tears on her lips.

Maura shut her eyes and shook her head. She opened her eyes and gently ghosted her lips across Jane's. The detective moaned in response and moved in closer to finally close the gap between them.

Maura pulled back and shook her head.

"You don't always get what you want Jane, you have to work for this" Maura said with a grim expression. She took off her wet shirt and let her soaked skirt fall to the floor. She stood there in just her underwear and grabbed Jane's hand, walking towards the bedroom.

"I'm going to sleep and you're going to lay awake thinking of all the ways you can break it off with Casey."

Jane just silently nodded as they went to bed.


	4. OneRepublic - Counting Stars

Jane shivered slightly in the patio chair she has taken purchase in. She couldn't sleep, her little bug kept squirming and kicking her in the ribs. Casey had long fallen asleep, he never cared about how his girlfriend felt. It had been nearly 34 weeks of the silent treatment from the hostile man. She knew deep down, that he wanted to run, Casey Jones was many things. But, a father was not one of them.

Jane had suffered through Summer with more than a few outbursts. The weather just didn't suit her pregnant body. Thankfully, it was slowly morphing into Autumn, and she could once again relax. Maura would still be awake, maybe she should call her. They were on rocky waters right now, but the blonde still took the time to ask Jane about how she was feeling. It pained Jane to know that her best friend was heartbroken when she had announced her engagement. Maura had receded further into her shell after news of the pregnancy. Jane, being a detective, knew exactly why the news had isolated her friend. It happened to be the same reason that Jane refused to marry Casey, after more than a few invitations It was also the reason that she had been sitting in this chair for two hours, just trying to clear her jumbled mind. Was her happiness worth ruining the best friendship she'd ever had?

She was getting stiff, her mind was restless and she needed to walk round before she exploded.. Groaning while she tried to stand, Jane realized that she wasn't going to get much sleep tonight. She walked inside and slid the door shut, making sure that she stepped over Jo Friday who was laying in the corner looking morose. The pup never once minded making the journey from Jane's apartment to Maura's house. But, when she travelled to Casey's house, only a few miles from Beacon Hill, Jo was not a good sport. Jane figured it had something to do with the table scraps that Maura fed the dog every time she whimpered.

Jane scribbled out a note onto a post-it and stuck in on the fridge. Her snoozing boyfriend probably wouldn't even realize that she was gone. It's not like he didn't care for her. But, it was obvious that his plentiful marriage proposals were likely because he felt guilty. She didn't really want to marry Casey, but it was the right thing to do. She was no longer the only life affected by her decisions. She clipped Jo's leash on, and tugged on an Army sweater and slipped out the door, making sure to close it quietly.

The walk to Maura's house would only take about 10 minutes and it wasn't even midnight yet. . She took out her phone to send her friend a warning message, but quickly decided against it. Maybe a surprise was the best option. Honestly, Jane was scared that if she made Maura aware of her coming over, she'd rush out to pick her up. But, Jane needed this time to think.

After a few minutes of walking, the little bug was finally lulled to sleep. She set her hand on her stomach and smiled a bit. She could spend her life married to a man that she didn't love if she got this in return...right?

right?

Shaking head to dispel any negative thoughts, Jane stopped at the crosswalk and pushed the button. While she was waiting she looked to the sky; it was so clear tonight, a rarity for Boston.

"Look at all of those stars little bug. We really aren't much in this world are we?" Jane said to her stomach. Taking in all of the stars and clouds, she felt very small, insignificant.

The box blinked white, signaling for Jane to walk the final block to Maura's house. When she finally made it to her front door, she saw that there was a light on in the living room. After a few deep breaths Jane just walked up the stairs and knocked a few times.

Maura answered the door after a minute, wearing Jane's sweatpants, and holding a sweaty beer. She looked sad and defeated, something even Jane had never seen the normally put-together doctor look like. Jane walked into the door, and took her shoes off. She turned around faced away from her best friend, she knew her facade would crumble if she looked into hazel eyes and saw just how much hurt was there.

"Jane, what brings you by?" Maura said quietly, her voice thick with emotion. She didn't really want to hear what Jane had to say, she just wanted to go back to her pity party. She led them further into the foyer into the brightly lit living room.

"Maura, I-I-ugh," Jane sighed, blinking back tears

"You know, you don't have to marry him. No one will judge you." Maura walked towards the detective and placed a warm hand on her arm, assuming that's why she had come by so late. "You know, I could have given you all this," she motioned to her pregnant state and engagement ring. "I would love you so much, that you would never have to think twice about your future."

"You still could," Jane whispered painfully, taking the Maura's hands in her own.

"I can't Jane, you're not mine. Someone else has won.. Until that changes, I think it's best you leave," Maura finally let the tears fall. She would not be responsible for a relationship's demise.

Jane stood there in shock as the blonde knelt down towards her stomach and lifted her layers. She placed a small kiss on the uneven skin and whispered:

"No matter who I am in your life as you grow, little one, I'll always love you and your mama."

"Always?"

"Always."


	5. Clay Walker - She Won't Be Lonely Long

"What did I do Maur? What did I do to deserve this?" Jane cried into the blonde's shoulder, taking solace in the golden waves. Maura just wrapped her arms around the shaking detective, Casey's letter still clutched tightly in her fist.

He had taken off as soon as Jane wavered in her answer to his ultimatum. She had told him that she needed a day or two to think it over, and before even 12 hours had passed, he was gone. Maura squeezed her friend a little tighter and placed a kiss on her brown ringlets. Things could only get better from here, right?

"I don't know Jane; I really don't think you did anything. He's just not used to hearing anything but 'yes sir' and it probably angered him. I didn't foresee you guys being very compatible anyways." Maura murmured.

Suddenly, Jane untangled herself from Maura's limbs and stood up, bouncing on her fuzzy sock covered toes a bit. She reached up in a feline stretch, and wiped her tears away. Inhaling deeply she shot a watery smile at Maura. With a look of defiance, she bent over to kiss Maura's head. Jane whispered a heartfelt "thank you" and made her way into Maura's yoga room to blow off some steam.

Maura watched in awe as Jane stripped her socks off and pulled down her track pants to reveal her spandex running shorts and her sports bra. She did her basic stretches, touching her toes and grabbing her feet, stretching her torso and thighs.

"You know Maura," Jane threw a few more punches, "I don't need him. I don't need that stupid bastard of a man. He was never there for me when I needed him. Hell, even you've been a better boyfriend than he has been."

Maura looked down to hide her furious blushing as Jane started jumping up and down to get her blood pumping. When she tired of that, the detective then moved towards the punching bag, ready with left jabs and right hooks.

Maura's jaw hung open as she watched the normally crass, lanky detective almost dance with the punching bag. Her muscles were flexing and her body was floating and Maura knew that Jane wouldn't be in despair forever. She would find a perfect mate and they would live happily ever after.

Maura sighed to herself and knew that she would not be that person for Jane. Jane was a straight woman and Maura was just a closeted doctor who was in love with her best friend.

Little did Maura know, that Jane was a closeted detective who was also in love with her best friend. :)


	6. TLC - No Scrubs

"Mauraaaaaaaaa, I'm bored. Aren't you done picking at this dude?" Jane whined like a petulant child. This autopsy was taking forever and Jane wanted to go home and snuggle. It was almost 9 p.m. and Maura had been working this case for almost 2 days straight.

Maura, on the other hand, was avoiding going home with Jane because she had embarrassed herself the night before at the robber by drunkenly kissing her detective in the ladies' room. She wanted to avoid the onslaught of hives that would litter her neck if Jane asked any questions pertaining to it. So, Maura had extended this autopsy as long as she could; but it was getting harder and harder to find anything else to check for in this obvious suicide.

"Well Jane, if you're so impatient, just head back to my house and I'll catch up with you." Maura shot back at the whiny detective who looked all of six years old sitting on the counter swinging her long legs. Sometimes she would accidentally kick the "dead people fridge" and apologize, which was quickly followed by laughter for saying sorry to a dead person.

"Naw, I'll just stay here and bug you." Jane made an over-the-top kissy face at the unamused medical examiner.

"If that's what you wish Jane." Maura sighed and went back to stitching up the body.

Seeing Maura in her black scrubs made Jane think of the slinky black dress that she had work at The Robber last night. Well, she more remembered the feeling of the dress bunched up in her hands when she had been kissed rather forcefully by an inebriated Maura.

"So, Maur- if you don't mind me asking, do you remember last night? You were pretty tanked." Jane giggled at the memory of tipsy Maura Isles.

"I do; rather well actually. Why so?"

"Well, you- you kinda kissed me. Do you remember that?" Jane's tone dropped a bit. She was nearing the line of personal information that Maura would volunteer at work.

Maura mumbled something unintelligible and turned away from the detective. Her face had turned beet red and her breathing had become very shallow. Jane started giggling uncontrollably at the embarrassed blonde and eventually was laughing so hard that she started to cry.

"M-Maura! It's not that big of deal ok? You were drunk, and I rather enjoyed it." Jane jumped down off the counter and stood behind the M.E. Putting her arms around the tiny blonde, hugging her from behind.

"Jane, it is a rather big deal because I do remember it. I don't regret it, but I wish that our first kiss had gone a little differently." Maura admitted, her back still pressed against the detective's torso. She could feel her service weapon and badge pressing against the small of her back.

Jane spun Maura around and looked her straight in the eyes "Maura, I liked it. I said that. What's the problem? It's not like I'm asking you to strip right here in the morgue."

Maura blushed furiously as memories of an old fantasy reappeared in her head. Jane's expression turned from confused to joyful in a matter of seconds.

"Oh my god, Maura!" Jane said with a mocking tone "you've thought about doing it in the morgue? That's hilarious Maur. I didn't think you had it in ya"

"It's h-healthy, Jane, to conside-oomph!" Maura's monologue was cut short when Jane grabbed her face and kissed her hard. They pulled away slightly and Maura saw Jane burst into the largest smile she'd ever seen. Their noses touched and they looking into each other's eyes, kissing again for a few brief moments. Jane's hands held Maura by her hips, rubbing her thumbs over the warm skin under her scrubs. Maura's hands held onto Jane's neck as she pulled her down for one last kiss.

"I think it's time to go home Detective Rizzoli."

"I think it's time to go home, Dr. Isles."


	7. Jason Derulo - Talk Dirty To Me

this one has some sexual situation, nothing too graphic though.

"Jane?"

"Jane?"

Jane grumbled a response at her too-bright cell phone screen. Maura had woken up from one of her nightmares and had called Jane at 3:00 a.m. So Jane, being the great friend she was, put the frightened doctor on speakerphone while she got up to go pee.

"Jane? Jane Rizzoli? Are you even listening to me? Did you fall back asleep? I swear Jane you are a-"

"-Maura, I'm here, okay? Keep telling me about your dream, I'm listening." Jane said loudly from across the room. She shook her wet hands dry and wiped them on her cotton boy shorts. While Maura chattered away about fungal bacteria or melodramatic metatarsals.

Jane slid back into her bed, and stuck her hand inside her pants. She had no idea why, but she always had to fall asleep with her hand tucked into her hip. Maura would probably know why. But, Jane was too tired to listen any further. She was hovering in between dozing and being awake so often that she just let Maura prattle on.

Maura, however, knew that Jane had fallen asleep due to her breathing pattern and chuckled quietly. Jane had just come off of a 26 hour case and had most likely been asleep for only four.

"Maur, Maura, talk dirty to me" Jane mumbled into her pillow, a little string of drool falling onto her phone screen, which was still on and bright.

"What? Oh Jane. Haha. Wait, are you serious?" Maura asked with a questioning tone. She'd never really thought Jane to have those kind of requests, she seemed too...vanilla?

"Mmmm-Maura, do it." Jane whispered, completely deep in her sleep cycle.

"Well, Jane Rizzoli, normally one takes me out on a date first. But, I'll make an exception for you tonight. " Maura blushed at the thought of what it would be like to speak to Jane face to face this way.

It was a matter of seconds before Maura was out of bed and moaning into her phone. She put on her coat and walked out in the night, holding her phone against her shoulder as she started the Prius.

"Well, your neck is delicious looking Jane. I'm assuming I'd taste that first. Most likely fresh from a run because you are so sexy when you're sweaty. I'd bite your ear and whisper things that I would never say in public" Maura bit her lip and took a deep breath to steady her nerves.

"Ohh, dear God" Jane whimpered. "next?"

"Then, oh Jane. You'd be putty in my hands. You would be bare in a matter of seconds, and I would kiss every single inch of your body, twice. I would make sure that you are so turned on, that you are shaking with anticipation. Question Jane: Do you prefer penetration or cunnilingus?" Maura purred

Jane woke with a start, what did Maura just say?

"Well, I think that I could do things to you with my mouth that would make you recite every name in the new testament" Maura continued, her voice dropping lower with each word.

Jane's eyes widened at what was happening. Was she talking in her sleep again? Oh no. This was bad. This was very bad.

"Uh, Maur?" the detective asked quietly

"Oh gosh, when you say my name like that, I can almost feel my core light on fire. Say it again Jane, please say it again!" Maura almost cried into the speaker on her phone. She only had two blocks left. Hopefully she could last that long.

""Maur, ah Maura ah. Um" Jane sputtered, feeling a familiar growing need under the blankets. This was not what she anticipated Maura to be talking about when she woke up but, damn, it was hot.

"Jane, I- ugh- we are in our prime, why are we not reaping the benefits of each other? I've massaged your hands before, I am certain that you could reach my Gräfenberg Spot; I'll admit that I've only had one lover who could. I cannot, and it frustrates me to no end. Oh Jane." Maura contemplated pulling over. She was only in a silk pajama set, that didn't offer much barrier between her and the leather of her car seats.

Jane assumed Maura was still in bed and let her hand wander south a bit, gasping at her own touch. This wasn't going to take long.

Maura pulled up to Jane's building and got out, nearly forgetting to turn the car off. She raced up Jane's stairs, taking two at a time and used her spare key to let her in the apartment. She flung open the door, and discarded her clothes on her trek to Jane's bedroom. By the time she had gotten to the door, she was bare of any clothing. She listened closely and heard loud moaning and shuffling. There was no time to be modest.

Jane was almost there. Maura had hung up but Jane was too far to back down now. Suddenly her door burst open and there was Maura. There was ALL of Maura. Jane's brain stopped as she traced Maura's curves in the light of the moon. Maura moved fluidly onto the bed and grabbed Jane's hand from inside her underwear.

"Let me do this for you, please?" Maura asked, her voice dripping with sexuality.

Jane just nodded yes. Oh dear Lord yes.


	8. The Judds - Young Love

"Maura! Maura! Earth to Maura" Susie Chang yelled into her best friend's ear. Maura was currently zoned out under the big tree they always ate lunch at. They were the only girls on the science team in school so, to avoid any bullying, they always ate outside. Susie really looked up to Maura; she was a junior at their school and Susie was a sophomore.

"Oh! Susie, I'm so sorry. I was...distracted. Who's the girl over there? The one playing baseball with Tommy Rizzoli?" Maura asked, her eyes sparkling at the tall, dark, handsome girl who was hitting fly balls to their high school team.

"That's Jane Rizzoli" Susie said, uninterested "She's a senior, but she never comes to school; I think she's always in trouble or something. Who knows with the Rizzolis anyways"

"What a prime specimen Susie. Oh no! Look interesting, she's coming our way!" Maura ducked her blonde ringlets behind Susie's back, pretending to be writing furiously in her notebook. She snuck a peek at the lithe form walking towards them. This Jane Rizzoli had an incredible bone structure.

Maura turned a lovely shade of fuschia when Jane lifted her shirt to wipe the sweat from under her baseball cap, revealing wonderfully sculpted abs and shorts hanging low on her olive skinned hips. She wondered if she would ever marry a girl like that. One could only hope.

* * *

><p>"Hey Tommy! Who's that girl sitting under the big Willow?" Jane asked her brother as they jogged off the field. They only had 10 minutes to shower and change before they had their lunch period.<p>

"That's Maura the Bora. Her real name is Maura Isles. She's only a junior but I swear to god Janie she knows everything about everything. Oh! She plays for your team too Janie, go ask her on a date, I dare ya!" Tommy punched Jane in the shoulder- a traditional Rizzoli salutation- and ran off with his jock friends.

Jane decided that she wanted to talk to this girl, she'd never met someone like that. She was super pretty too. She had gotten about halfway through the trek to the two ladies when the bell rang. Cursing herself for losing track of time, Jane sprinted as fast as she could. One more tardy and she would be getting a detention, which did not have time for. She'd just shower in the locker room after school, that way she didn't go to work smelling like a slimeball.

* * *

><p>Maura was nearly vasovagal when Jane turned and sprint like a black stallion to the school. She was literally staring; she knew it was rude but she couldn't help it. Susie poked her in the side and they collapsed into a pile of giggles as they gathered their things. Lunch would be over soon and they both still had classes to get to.<p>

Just a few hours later left Maura sitting in the corner of the gymnasium with a look of determination on her face. She had one goal for this class, she wanted to make one basket. The rest of the class was playing basketball in groups, but Maura was not much of an asset to the team so she went into the corner and did all the math to successfully make a..what was it called...a swisher?

She lined her toes up and made her first shot. "Not bad"she thought. With a few more attempts and a slight variation in the degree of her elbows, Maura finally made her first baskett! She was so happy as she sent the ball back into the steel cage, that she practically skipped towards the locker room.

She went into the only changing stall, and dawdled in there like she normally did. She was used to being taunted by other girls for being a lesbian. Once the other girls in her school found out about it, they refused to change with her in there. She was always respectful, and never snuck a peek, but they were teenage girls and they were all insecure in some way. She sat on the bench and brought her knees to her chest and thought about the girl that she had seen today. Jane Rizzoli.

Finally, after everyone had left, Maura walked out holding all of her books. She was so lost in thought that she accidentally crashed into someone. Looking up with an apology on her lips she gasped. It was Jane. Jane smiled and kneeled down to pick up her books and she held out her tan hand.

"Jane Rizzoli. Sorry, I don't look where I'm going and I run into shit all the time" she had a smooth hands, and one thumb caressed Maura's pale hand as they both stood up. Maura smiled at Jane, suffering from a lack of words.

"I-I, I'm Maura. Maura Isles. I'm terribly sorry, I've been mighty distracted today. Did I break anything? I'll replace it, I-"

Maura was hushed when Jane simply held up her hand.

"I'll make you a deal. I work at the Tastee-Freez and I'm all by myself tonight. I'll cook you a Rizzoli Special if you come keep me company?" Jane husked, still holding Maura's hand.

"Of course. I'll be there" Maura smiled, blushing furiously.

"C'mon, I'll even give you a ride after I shower in here. Can I trust you Maura Isles to watch over my stuff?" Jane laughed and strode towards the shower, stripping her shirt off as she walked towards the stalls.

Maura just sighed and picked up Jane's sweater and smelled it. It smelled like sweat and musky cologne. She smiled, maybe she wouldn't have a girl like Jane Rizzoli someday. She would have even better; she would have Jane Rizzoli herself.


	9. Grace Potter & The Nocturnals -Apologies

Jane,

I leave you this letter in hopes that you won't chase me.

I saw your eyes dull when you told me "yes" and it scared me Jane. I've never seen you like that. I don't know if you realized it but, I saw you and Maura crying with each other behind the guest house. I know she loves you Jane, and I know that she loves you. She makes you smile, and she waits for you. You won't wait for me, and I've never waited for you. We were destined to be friends, nothing more.

I remember when I asked your mother to call me Casey and she refused; I now understand why. You have a beautiful heart Jane Rizzoli, but it does not long for me. It belongs to her, and hers is a part of you. I can't get in between a true love like that.

Tell Maura that I wish you guys the best, and I hope that she will forgive me for throwing a wrench into your plans. I will never stop loving you Jane, but I also respect you too much to do anything about it.

Take Care,

Sgt Major Casey Jones

Maura picked up the simple sheet of notebook paper and read it for a second time. She set down her water bottle and walked towards Jane's bedroom. Maura had admitted her love to Jane the night prior, and Jane in turn had done the same. They had cried on each other in the brisk chill of autumn as they talked about the life they could have had if Jane just would call off her engagement. After a fitful night's sleep and a lot of pacing, Maura had gone for a run and realized that she had gone to Jane's by habit.

Quietly, she snuck into the dark room. Why was Jane sleeping at noon? She slid into bed next to Jane and jumped when red rimmed eyes made contact with hers. She'd assumed that Jane was asleep. But, if she listened, she could hear tiny whimpers coming from Jane's trembling body

"Why did it take that Maura? Why did it take Casey leaving for me to realize that all I've ever wanted, was right here in front of me? I'm so sorry Maura, I'm so sorry." Jane cried into her pillow.

"I don't know pretty girl, I really don't" Maura whispered, bringing Jane's head onto her chest and stroking her chestnut hair until Jane tilted her head and placed a small kiss on Maura's clavicle. She looked up and smiled ar Maura, who returned the gesture. Jane snuggled into Maura's chest and was soon fast asleep. Maybe after a good nap, things would make more sense.


	10. Christina Perri - A Thousand Years

Maura sat down on the bench in the park, she was beat. She was not used to hanging out with children, and she rather enjoyed the experience. She took off her flats and emptied the sand out of them. Delicately, she set them on the bench next to her, and took out her small water bottle. After rehydrating, she rolled the legs of her jeans up to her calves and stuck her feet in the grass below her. She relished in the cold feeling of the ground under her red-painted toes.

She was beginning to sweat, so she removed the simple blouse she was wearing and adjusted the bottom of her spaghetti strap tank top. She padded over to her car, careful to avoid any twigs on her way, and set her clothing in the back seat. She popped the trunk open and grabbed her sunscreen, spraying it generously on her shoulders. She always loved her freckles, but she didn't want to burn in the bright summer sun.

Satisfied that she was finally prepared to start playing again, Maura tiptoed back onto the playground. The moment she stuck her foot into the hot sand, she felt like a child again. The sweet summer breeze was lifting her ponytail up and blowing on her neck. She had a slight sheen to her face, giving her a healthy glow. These were the moment she was alive for.

"AnnMora AnnMora! Lookit meeee! I'm uh airplane" Maura looked to her left and smiled. Jane was pushing her son, Cole, on the swingset on the other side of the play equipment. As he went higher and higher. Jane's hands went out to grab him every time, as if the daring five year old would jump off the swing. It's something a little Jane definitely would have done.

"Oh Cole, look how high you're going! Be careful Buddy!" Maura called over to the laughing duo. She was bursting with love at the sight of their interactions, but where was Cody?

Maura climbed the little red and yellow stairs, and ducked into a blue tunnel that lead to the other side. She spotted a pair of swinging feet through a little window in the tunnel and realized that Cody had managed to climb up there and was just sitting still. He was like Maura that way, quiet and always questioning.

Maura shuffled out, trying her best but failing to save her kneecaps from the sudden drop off at the end. She stood and realized that this playground looked much larger when she was younger. She turned back around and saw Cody, just sitting on the tunnel, lost in thought. Maura maneuvered herself onto the blue plastic and scooched over to the boy. Careful not to scare him, Maura held her arms out in warning.

"Cody? What's wrong kiddo? You look very upset for someone who's at the park." Maura asked softly to the seven year old.

The boy just looked at her, one side of his mouth turned up in an almost smile and he locked eyes with his aunt.

"He's gone for good this time, Aunt Maura" Cody said quietly, "Dad left us again. But, this time it's not for the army. Ma said it's for a cadet. I don't know what that means, but Ma said that he loved me but I don't believe her.

Tears sprung into Maura's eyes as she silently raged towards the boys' deadbeat father, Casey. He had been loving at first, but after Jane gave birth to Cody, he had started volunteering for tours and staying away from his family every chance he could. Out of the seven years his son had been on the planet, he had been home probably less than 100 days. He had only seen Cole nearly after his first birthday. Cole still had trouble understanding who "daddy" was.

"Oh Cody, he did love you. We all love you. I promise" Maura said tearfully. She loved these boys as if they were her children. She had practically raised them with Jane, they were a part of her life. She loved them more than her life… and she loved their mother as well. Maura held out her arms and Cody, even though he was a tough manly man, sat in his Aunt's embrace. She held him as he cried and ruffled his sandy brown hair affectionately

When the sniffles subsided, Maura moved her nephew away and gave him a kiss on the head. One last once over made the blonde realize that he would be okay; he was just confused and hurting right now.

"Do you want me to leave you alone for a bit Cody?" Maura asked, debating all the methods of getting off of the tunnel. It was only a 3 foot jump, but she was in her mid forties, that was quite the leap. The young boy just nodded and motioned for Maura to scoot past him. In a great act of uncharacteristically spontaneous behavior, Maura slid off the tunnel, into the hot sand. She landed with most of her bearings and a large grin on her face.

She went over to the swings where Jane and Cole had stopped swinging and just sat in the two swings, swaying back and forth, just chatting away. The sight itself made the blonde's heart hurt. She wished every night for this family to be hers. She wanted to kiss the boys goodnight. and help them get ready in the morning. She wanted to go to parent-teacher conferences and to help plan birthday parties. She wanted a life that wasn't hers to have.

"Today was not the day to be negative" Maura told herself. It was a gorgeous sunny day and neither one of the two women were on call. It had become an unspoken rule at BPD that Lieutenant Rizzoli and Doctor Isles had matching schedules if they could help it; they had earned it.

Maura walked towards the duo and promptly sat down in Jane's lap, shivering when the brunette wrapped her arms around her waist. 10 years of their friendship and Maura still tingled when Jane touched her. They swung back and forth for a few minutes, Jane's head resting against Maura's spine, until Cole jumped off asking if he could go play on the teeter totter with Cody, who had moved from the tunnel and was just sitting quietly on one end of the machine.

Jane yelled at her boys to be careful and playfully swatted at Maura's rear. Taking the hint, Maura slid off the detective and sat in the now empty neighboring swing. They both pushed off and slowly rocked back and forth. Jane reached out for her hand and Maura complied, shivering again when soft silk fingers held her own. They stayed like that for a bit until Jane finally spoke up.

"Casey left Maur. For good this time" Jane's face was a mix of relief and sorrow.

"I know, Cody told me. He thinks Casey never loved him" Maura said sadly.

"I'm not sure if he truly did Maura. I just don't know. I mean, I can handle him leaving me, I never really loved him. But, leaving our kids? I don't understand" Jane vented quietly.

"They love you Jane, stop worrying about it. I'll help you; I always have" Maura murmured, running her thumb over Jane's hand. The gesture alone was setting the blonde's heart aflame.

"I know Maur, and I love you dearly for it. I-I-I'm sorry that I never admitted it. You know? That I love you. But, I was already married and yo-"

"Jane, I have died everyday, waiting for you. Darling, don't be afraid. I have loved you for a thousand years, and I'll love you for a thousand more. We can talk about that when you're ready, okay? I'll never leave you or the boys. I love them, and you, as if you were my family. I will not just burst into your life; you're technically still married. We've only halfway through life Jane, we have time"

Jane just smiled and nodded with tears in her eyes. She would always be able to rely on Maura. Everything would work out it the end.


	11. Garfunkel & Oates- Me, You and Steve

"Hold on Casey, Maura's calling" Jane said, throwing a hand up to shush her date. Then had just sat down at The Robber, and hadn't even gotten their menus yet. Casey only had three days left in the country and he wanted to ask Jane a very important question before it got too close to his departure date. Either way, he was leaving again. But, if Jane said yes, he would look into maybe taking her with him. She'd love that, right?

Jane prattled on about whatever women talk about with her BFF Maura. Casey knew more about Maura than her own parents did. He respected Dr. Isles, and she was sexy in her designer clothes. But, she was always with Jane, like-everywhere. Do best friends sleep in each others beds more than their partners? Jane and Maura did.

They even had their own portmanteau, "Rizzles", ugh. Lame. The folks at BPD always say "oh look! It's Rizzles" -or- my favorite,"Team Rizzles is on the case" what were they, Team Rocket?

Jo would make an ugly meowth anyways.

Finally Jane, ended her phone call and apologized to Casey for the disturbance. When Casey went to order a beer for Jane, she shook her head no. She was driving Maura to the movies tonight for some "girl time". So, what other time was there?

"Jane, be honest with me real quick" Casey said, picking at his cobb salad. "When I told you that I was going back to Afghanistan last time, what did you think?"

Jane pursed her lips, thinking back to that day "I think my first thought was that I told Maura you had washed my thongs. It was awkward. You were acting like a housewife"

Casey was insulted, he washed Jane's things because she was starting to wear the cotton underwear that lined the bottom of the drawer for a reason. How was that acting like a housewife?

"Jane, I am no housewife. If you wanted a housewife, you could just marry Maura" Casey spat, his face turning red.

Jane sensed the impending fight but couldn't help get that word in "Maybe I will, Casey. Lord knows she fucks like a champ-oh" Jane blushed at the admission, no one was supposed to know that. It had been their little secret.

"You-you and Maura, but-how could she-um, what?" Casey mumbled, the imagery in his head distracting him from the rest of his food.

Jane decided that it was time for the truth to come out, oh well.

"Yeah Casey! Maura and I? We're hot as fuck, okay? You left me like 6 times for the fucking Middle East, and you just assumed that I would sit back here and twiddle my thumbs? Really? I have needs Casey, and to be honest, even if you did regain function of your little Sergeant Major down south, he still has trouble staying in step. Hmmkay?", Jane got up from the table, and walked away from the livid man.

Jane sauntered out the door and took out her phone, she needed to tell Maura about this.


	12. Nelly - Hot In Herre

Jane watched as a singular bead of sweat made it a way down the neck of her beer. It was fucking hot; she had just opened it maybe three minutes ago. Beside her on her floor sat Maura Isles, in all her glory. Maura was blowing on her bangs- a halfhearted attempt at cooling herself down. They had both put on bikinis and sat down in Jane's dark apartment. The high today in Boston was 110 degrees, and the low was near 90. The whole city was under a heat advisory, which is why the duo had stopped at Jane's apartment first, instead of Maura's central air conditioned home on their way home from BPD.

So, here they sat, in the smallest swimsuits that Jane had available, laying on the cool tile floor of the darkened kitchen. It was so humid that Jo Friday had even gone to hide under the bed while Maura called Angela to put Bass in basement. Jane had only moved in the last hour to grab a fresh beer, once again asking Maura if she'd like one. But, the blonde had only shaken her head and tried to meditate a little more. The heat was making it hard to concentrate, and Maura needed all the focus she could muster.

Jane had contemplated even sitting in front of her freezer, but the she kept thinking about the electricity bill that would follow. So, she made do by rolling her lukewarm beer over herself. What she did not see was Maura nearly drooling at the sight of the goosebumps that followed said beer. Jane trailed it over her abs and up the hollow of her chest, her skin reacting to the temperature change. She rolled the empty bottle towards the garbage and grabbed the new one out of the cooler they had set up.

She glanced over at Maura, ready to ask if she'd changed her mind about the beer, when she noticed the lustful expression of the blonde. Jane laughed quietly at the blushing doctor, who had eventually realized she'd been caught. Deciding to have some fun, Jane ran the fresh beer up her body once more, gasping at how cold it was. She trailed it over her bikini covered breasts, and moaned at the physical reaction that followed. Throwing her head back, Jane sucked in a breath and moaned at the relief of the cold glass on her skin. She cast a wayward glance at her best friend, who had her eyes shut tightly. Shallow breaths were an indication that Maura Isles was a little overheated, not because of the temperature.

Jane wanted to take this a step further, so she skimmed the beer over the blonde's yoga-toned stomach. Maura yelped at the cold bottle when it first touched her skin but relished in the relief it gave her. Jane then watched in amusement as Maura's muscles contracted, rippling under the bottle. When she had reached Maura's bikini line, she sat up a bit and pushed the bottle down one leg and back up again. She repeated the action on the same leg, eventually dragging the bottle up between Maura's ample cleavage. Maura groaned and arched off the kitchen floor, her fists grabbing the ties on either side of the bikini bottom. Pulling the ties away from her body, Jane couldn't help and peek into the lifted fabric. It was obvious that Maura was very much enjoying this.

"Still saying no to that beer, Maur?" Jane husked into Maura's ear, swiping at the lobe with her teeth.

Maura opened her eyes and saw the jovial expression on the detective and quickly grabbed the beer out of Jane's hand. She popped the top off, frat boy style, and down the first gulp. A solitary drip landed on Maura's chest and continued down her body until is disappearing into the fabric of Maura's top. Maura finished the beer and winked at Jane, making sure to give her best friend the most seductive glance. Jane just blushed at realized that she had just been beaten at her own game. But, who was complaining?


	13. Lustra - Scotty Doesn't Know

Casey doesn't know

That Rizzoli and Me

Do it in the morgue every Sunday

She tells him she's in church

but he doesn't know

that she's on her knees

and oh, can that girl blow.

Ohhh, that Jane can blow,

But he'll never know.

Casey doesn't know

Jane always says we're out shopping

But I'm riding her, and we aren't stopping

Casey doesn't know  
>Casey doesn't know<br>Casey doesn't know  
>Casey doesn't know<br>That his girl can blow

Casey doesn't know  
>That boy can Jane blow<p>

I can't believe he's still calling

While I'm coming down but she's still falling  
>Rizzoli's got him on the phone,<p>

and she's trying not to moan,

It's an awkward call but he knows nothing

Oh, Casey doesn't know  
>Casey doesn't know<br>Casey doesn't know  
>Don't tell Casey<br>Casey doesn't know  
>Casey doesn't know<p>

We'll put on a show,  
>Everyone will know<p>

that Casey doesn't know  
>Casey doesn't know<br>Casey doesn't know  
>Casey doesn't know<p>

The parking lot, that's hot.

She's a stud when she's on top  
>A long moan, from myself<p>

Life is so good when Casey doesn't know

Casey doesn't know

I did her in his wheelchair

Casey doesn't know  
>Casey doesn't know<br>Casey doesn't know  
>Casey doesn't know<p>

So don't tell Casey

Casey's gotta know

Casey's gotta know

Gotta tell Casey, I'll tell him myself

Casey doesn't know  
>Casey doesn't know<p>

Casey doesn't know

*chants*

Casey doesn't know (x7)


	14. Bruno Mars - Gorilla

Jane's tongue darted out, trailing the sweaty path of Maura's neck. She tasted like sex and candy, sweet and sultry. She ground her teeth and buckled down for the impending waves of liquid pleasure that coursed through her veins. She threw her head back, eyes wild, as she thrusted harder with one last burst of energy. Suddenly, the brunette ceased all motion, her muscles quivering from all the effort.

"Maur-Maur! MAUR-ahhh" Jane yelled, bunching the 3,000 thread count sheets in her fists and she tumbled over the edge. Her body shook for what seemed like hours as she tried her best to control her breathing. She took big gulps of the hot air and finally collapsed boneless onto the woman below her. Her skin was on fire and every single touch was amplified in her sensitive state.

Maura bit her lip and kissed Jane hard, feeling the furious heartbeat of the woman under her hands. Jane sucked on Maura's bottom lip, while she rubbed their cores together. The delicious friction made the over sensitive detective buck and twist. Finally, after her head cleared up and her muscles relaxed, Jane rolled off her lover. Giggling at the way the sheets stuck to her sweaty body. She was so exhausted but Maura still needed to be attended to. So, she'd have to be creative.

"C'mere Maur, slide down here" Jane motioned to the edge of the bed. Maura sat up gingerly, and scooted down towards the end, setting her feet on the lush carpet. Jane kneeled on the carpet, sliding her discarded shorts under her knees. She threaded her own hands into her sweaty hair, signaling that this job wouldn't require them. Jane looked up and made eye contact with the blonde above her and whispered a quiet "Lay back baby girl. I've got you now"

Maura complied, and soon the ceiling was her object of focus. She felt Jane nudge her legs apart as she bent her knees and rested her feet on the edge of the bed. The cool air of her bedroom felt wonderful on her sweaty skin.

As soon as the cold air graces her loins, it was replaced with the warm, wet heat of Jane's tongue. Slowly she felt the muscle circle her and stop, purposely avoiding all of her sensitive areas. Jane was in a playful mood today, and Maura didn't know if she could take it. The blonde was gasping at the delightful noises coming from the end of the bed. Jane's little giggles mixed with moans were doing things to Maura that she couldn't even explain. Finally, a tentative tongue slid partially into Maura, making her yell out and thrust into the warm mouth of her lover. The ample chest of the normally calm M.E. was rising quickly with the short breaths she barely managed to take.

Jane could sense that her lover was becoming impatient and removed her hands from her hair, letting the raven locks dance on her quivering lover's skin. She slid up the trembling form underneath her, and put two hands on the Doctor's chest, kneading the warm flesh. She lined up her pelvis with the Maura's center, and started a slow steady rhythm. Maura's feet were still bouncing with every movement so Jane placed each hand behind Maura's ankles to prevent any accidents. Maura was yelling at the top of her lungs for Jane to go harder and deeper. Jane let go of Maura and jumped up to kiss her head. She darted towards the closet, leaving Maura wide-eyed and pissed. She was so close, and Jane just lef-

**oh.**

Jane walked out of the closet rather well hung. Maura had no idea that Jane knew where she kept her bag of goodies, but wasn't going to worry about that right now. Just the sight of her sexy detective wearing the harness and appropriate accessories made her hand travel south.

Jane realized what Maura was gonna do, and shook her head with a sexy smile. Maura didn't need to do a things, this was all on Jane.

Jane resumed her former position and guided the tip into Maura's core, moaning as she watched the first few inches disappear while Maura screamed "Oh fuck!"

Maura was grunting like a mad woman now, and if Jane didn't impale her soon, she would just do it herself. After her muscles accepted the toy, Jane started her slow rhythm again, watching Maura's chest move with the force of her thrusts. Maura's cries were getting higher and higher, eventually just fading into an animalistic roar as her hips lifted off the bed, taking in the whole toy. The display alone made Jane's knees shake and she felt a familiar pulling in her groin. With the last burst of adrenaline, Jane pushed into Maura so hard the the headboard kept banging into the walls.

Maura's yells turned into silent screams as her legs went ramrod straight and her eyes rolled back into her head as the pleasure finally peaked. Jane felt Maura's walls tighten and keep a hold on the toy she wore, also sending Jane into a orgasmic spiral. They stayed that way until Maura couldn't keep her legs suspended any longer. Jane was released and quickly stepped out of the straps. She slid in between Maura's legs, still thrown over the bed, and laid kisses on the freckled chest of the panting blonde. Maura moved farther up the bed and slid her legs, which were getting rather cold, under the blanket as Jane slid in next to her. Nuzzling the musky doctor, Jane whispered quiet, calming things as she and Maura bunkered down for a quick nap after their endeavors.


	15. Lana Del Ray - Back To Basics

"Jane, what we did just now- that's wrong, that's very wrong" Maura cried as she struggled to find her discarded shirt "You're getting married tomorrow Jane, and I just let myself be used by you!" Maura decided against finding her shirt and stormed into the bathroom.

"Maura, you know I don't love him! I have to marry him, I got pregnant!" Jane yelled through the wooden door of their hotel room. Her hormones were all over the place, and she had just pounced on the blonde like a cat in heat. They had always been the type friends that were very comfortable with each other. Somewhere down the line they had turned into friends with benefits and they were happy with that situation.

They Casey Jones came along.

Casey had shown interest in Jane, and the self conscious detective had believed every word he had said. Maura was tossed aside, and it fucking hurt. She knew that they weren't exclusive, but they were friends first and foremost and friends don't do that. So, Maura had come over the night before Jane's wedding to say goodbye. She hadn't spoken to Jane since she waved the horrible cubic zirconia in her face.

All Maura had done was text the detective that she would indeed come to her whirlwind wedding which somehow lead to Maura showing up at her door at 3 a.m. That encounter had lead to a tension-filled hot tub neck massage, which then lead to Maura being disrobed and nearly bottomless with the brunette.

But, as soon as she saw the detective in her very pregnant state, Maura just couldn't help it. They hadn't gotten very far, but it was enough to constitute cheating in her book. She got overwhelmed and now she sat on the rim of the tub in Jane's bridal suite. Why did she torture herself with things like this?

Maura could hear Jane sit down on the other side of the door, so she did the same.

"Jane?" Maura said quietly.

"Yes babygirl?" Jane said through the door.

"Can we be just friends? I don't know if I can share you." the blonde cried silently.

"I don't know Maura..I just don't know" Jane pressed her cheek to the cold wood of the door.

"Can we at least try, you're the only friend that I have" Maura quietly whispered

Yes, they could try.


	16. RENT- Take Me or Leave Me

"Maura! No! I'm not sorry, okay? I'm not sorry." Jane yelled at the embarrassed woman across the bar. She had been pulled away from a conversation she was having with the new addition to BPD.

"Jane, don't be ridiculous! I was only implying that if you were trying to have a conversation with Office Lowell, you shouldn't stare at her-"

"No!" Jane interrupted, "I was not staring at any part of her. I was smiling at a fellow woman in blue. You know what Maura? You don't get to tell me who to stare at because you won't admit that you love me" Jane's voice boomed over the general roar of the crowd at The Robber.

The entire bar went silent and all heads turned to the shell shocked M.E. Maura's chin quivered a bit and Jane almost felt bad for the blonde. To everyone's surprise, Maura threw her coat on a barstool and marched right up the detective, pulling her down in a forceful kiss. The gesture alone knocked the wind out of the brunette. They bent so far over that Maura's hair skimmed the floor. When they came back up, Jane's cheeks were flushed and Maura's heart was beating quickly.

The whole bar just burst into applause and stood up. The two ladies jumped, not realizing that they were on display. Jane pushed Maura backwards through the bar, nearly knocking her over and into the bathroom locking the door behind them. They backed all the way into the last stall and Jane pushed Maura against the steel door. She closed her eyes and brushed her lips over Maura's. The blonde just shook her head no.

"No Jane. I can't do this. You wanna know why I won't tell you? Because you don't like that people look at me. I've worked so hard on this body Jane. I know that it's vain and I don't care. I never once had an ounce of confidence and now I try my best to look good. I dress to accent my highlights and I know how to look refined. People are going to look Jane, we're not exactly ugly." Maura said incredulously

Jane put one hand on each side of Maura's head and dipped her head in close. Their noses brushed and Jane pressed a stiff, hard kiss against the cherry pink lips of the blonde.

"I don't like it because I always feel like you're scoping them out for a mate , when I'm right here, literally drooling behind you. I know that you're gorgeous Maur! I know that you love me; I don't care if it seems presumptuous, I know that you do!" Jane pleaded, sliding her hands down to Maura's hips. She squeezed them hard and heard the M.E.'s breath hitch.

Maura's eyes burned as she kissed Jane again, harder than the first time, and moaned. They separated and touched foreheads for a few breathless moments. Her brows were knit in deep thought, and Jane could almost hear her weighing her options

"Okay Jane, I love you. Okay? Always have, always will. But, I will only give in under one term" Maura could only see the desperation in the chocolate orbs facing her. "You have to take me as I am, who I was meant to be. Trust me okay? Can you do that Jane?"

Jane just nodded slowly and kissed the blonde on the nose.

"Yeah, Maur, I can do that. But you also have accept that fact that I am who I am as well. I will always be angry when people stare at you like a piece of meat because you, Maura Isles, are way much more than that" Jane stared hard into hazel eyes and then pulled back, opening the door to the bathroom, leaving a very exasperated Maura Isles sad to see Jane go, but willing to watch her leave.


	17. Laura Jansen - Use Somebody

Fluffy white cotton snowflakes drifted around landing on the ground in a delicate blanket. It was cold, but it was almost serene. There wasn't much wind, and all Jane Rizzoli could hear was silence for miles. Silence is what she needed after the week she had been having. Kids were involved in the latest case and Jane was never fully prepared for that, no one ever truly was.

So, she needed to let off some steam. Normally, she would crash at Maura's place, but the Medical Examiner had a hot date tonight. It actually kind of stung that Jane hadn't gotten to meet this date at all. So, the anxious detective was going to expel some tension by doing something she hadn't done in years: She was going to skate.

Jane drove to her storage unit in Jamaica Plains and searched for an hour until she found what she was looking for: her high school hockey jersey and skates. They were hockey skates, and they had definitely seen better days, but they would work. She threw the skates over her shoulder and slipped the musty jersey on and walked towards the door. But, something caught her eye.

Buried in the corner of the unit, under a flattened basketball, sat a little handmade trophy. It was a little stick figure that her Pop had worked for days on. They had given it to her the day that she got the bad news that the South Boston league did not allow girls under 10 to play on their league. Jane had been devastated at the news; she had practiced all winter for the tryouts. Tommy and Frankie went while Angela took Jane to the local rink to maybe try figure skating.

Jane hadn't been used to the feminine skates, and before too long her ankles were chafed and she had spent more time on her rear than on her feet. Kids flew by her and laughed, here was this tiny scrappy heathen trying to skate like a princess. Defeated and deflated, Jane skated off the rink and bumped into a tiny girl, dressed in the palest blue skating leotard. She looked like a beauty queen.

Jane stepped back onto the ice and skated around the outside of the rink, watching this young beauty warm up. She was going twists and flips that made the brunette dizzy to even think of. This girl had to have been an angel. Jane was so busy staring at the floating form that she forgot that she was wasn't used to the skates she was wearing, making the tips of her toes bounce off each other, sending her to the ice- hard.

Her face turned red, as the angel skated towards her, hiding a giggle behind her gloved hand. She skidded to clean stop in front of Jane and held out a petite hand, offering to pull her up. Jane grabbed the tiny hand, pulling herself upright and fixing her tattered jersey.

"Thanks, I'm not used to girly skates" Jane muttered, turning away so this girl didn't see the flustered tears in her eyes.

"Not everyone is made to float away. Sometimes we need people to hold us down, keep us for floating too far away" The little girl wiped the tears off Jane's face and lightly pushed her towards the exit. With a smile and a wink, she was off again; her face indicating that her full focus was on her routine.

Jane smiled at the memory and unearthed the trophy from the pile of rubble left from her parent's old house. She blew on it to clear it off and locked the door quietly behind her. She had continued to play hockey for the rest of her schooling, but she never could master figure skates.

The drive to her old stomping grounds was filled with old memories mixed with her angst. She needed to release all these feelings brewing inside of her before she burst at the seams. Finally, she pulled up the public rink. It seemed so small now that she was older; she remembered having to do drills up and down the rink, thinking it must be endless.

She got out and slipped a sweatshirt over the old jersey, she was getting older and her bones did not like to be out in this weather for too long. She sat on the freezing metal bench and slipped her feet into skates she hadn't even thought about in almost 15 years. They were cold and rough inside, she hadn't taken very good care of them over the years. She stood up and waddled towards the entrance, slipping the guards off and throwing them on the grass. Jane slid onto the ice and took a few tentative steps.

Eventually she widened her stride and was able to balance appropriately. She took a laps around the oval structure and closed her eyes, feeling the wind whip past her cheeks, lifting her hair up off of her neck. She raised her arms and one leg, feeling like the was soaring. The tension was just floating off of her as she picked up speed.

She stayed like that until she slowed only a crawl. She spun herself in a circle, relishing the feeling and the slight dizziness that came with breaking your focus. The bokeh of the park's lights mixed with the moon's highlights made Jane feel like she was skating to the heavens. She was so free, so lightweight. The detective beamed, everything was okay...for the most part.

Before she could lament about Maura's date, she heard her name being called. There, only a few feet away, was Maura with a thermos and a set of figure skates dangling over her shoulder. She looked so adorable with her rosy cheeks and matching glove and hat set the color of the ocean. Jane drifted towards the blonde, wondering how she knew that she would be here.

"Before you ask Jane, you left the website for the park open on your work computer, I figured I'd find you here. I know that you used to skate, I've seen the trophies in your case, and the photos of you in high school that Angela showed me when she moved", Maura said with a wink. "Care for a skating buddy?"

Jane just held her hands out, motioning to the empty rink. "I don't know Maur-there's a line of people waiting to skate with me. What happened to your hot date?" Jane smirked and held out a hand for Maura to balance on while she removed her blade guards.

"Bear with me Jane; I haven't skated since I was a kid. Also, she didn't show up. I think I scared her away last week when I started talking about fecal matter on cell phones." Maura's legs shook like a newborn doe on the ice. Jane set her hands on Maura's hips to keep her balanced and they skated together in silence. When Maura seemed to have gotten her bearings, Jane let go of the blonde's waist and moved to hold her gloved hand.

They skated in sync around the rink in silence for nearly a half hour when Maura broke free and skated towards the middle of the rink.

"Hold on Jane; I wanna try something." Maura mumbled as she looked to the sky.

Suddenly the blonde was moving quickly in the other direction. She did a simple twist, landing it fairly well. After gaining some more momentum, Maura flipped herself and skated backwards, lifting a legging-clad leg almost straight into the air. Finally, she pulled herself into a spiral spinning so quickly that Jane almost fell over just skating around her. When she slowed down, she had crystal tears flowing down her chilled cheeks.

"Maura, are you okay? Did you tear something" Jane asked, rushing to the blonde who was still looking towards the sky.

"No Jane, I just haven't skated like that in almost 25 years. I fell during practice one day and tore my ACL; I never skated at that level again. I had just forgotten how free I felt, I was flying Jane. I was flying!" Maura cried out in happiness. "Fly with me?"

"Not everyone is made to float away. Sometimes we need people to hold us down, keep us for floating too far away, Maura. I'm a rock, I keep you here on Earth" Jane said.

Suddenly they were ten years old again and skating together. They swayed, danced, and held hands for what seemed like hours. Jane's heart was bursting at the love she felt for this woman. Maura skidded to a stop and turned to face Jane, a curious expression on her face.

"Where did you hear that line Jane- the one about flying?" Maura asked quizzically.

"An angel told me once, why?" the detective smiled at the beautiful blonde in front of her. She skated towards her and took her face in between her hands, and placed a warm kiss on Maura's cold nose.

"My father used to say that to me. He always told me that I kept him from sinking too far into the world" Maura's eyes flooded with tears as she realized who she had also said that to. She was standing in front of the woman that she had silently loved for years, only to realize that she had fallen for Jane before she even knew her name.

"Maura? Yo-oh my" suddenly everything made sense to Jane. She had always loved this woman, she couldn't remember a time when she wasn't enamored with Maura Isles.

Jane took off one of her mittens and wiped a tear away from Maura's face, replacing it with a kiss. "I've loved you Maura Isles, longer than I ever knew. You seriously changed my life so much, and you've never known. Will you change it once more, and share a cup of cocoa with me, as girlfriends?"

"Yes, Jane, I will" Maura nodded as they skated off the ice, their hands entwined.


	18. Joni Mitchell - A Case of You

"Dr. Isles, you have one new email from Senior Criminalist Change in your 'Work' inbox" the drab male told the blonde as she was pulling into the grocery store. She was almost dead on her high heeled feet after a long day at the morgue.

She put her Prius in park and sat back in her seat. She could either get all the groceries that she would need for the week and take a while or, she could just get what she needed for tonight in hopes that she would get out of the morgue sometime before the store closed. She really just wanted to go home, have a glass of wine, and snuggle up on her couch with a documentary. Unrealistically speaking, she wanted to go home and spend time with a companion. But, for the introverted Medical Examiner, companions were hard to come by.

With an exhausted sigh, the blonde hauled herself out of the car and grabbed her purse out of the backseat. Her calves ached from her unfortunate choice of footwear; she hadn't expected to go gallivanting around Boston. But, that's what happened when one assumed things. It was starting to drizzle outside, so Maura looked downwards and made her way into the quiet market.

The bright lights of the too-cheery store made Maura's head start to pound. She was lonely, and she just wanted to go home. She pulled out her phone, and started to scroll through her notes for her grocery list. She hated how all of the Valentine's Day things were already on display. Wasn't it just Christmas? All the wretched pink and purple confectionaries did was make her feel even more abandoned- if that was even possible.

She grabbed a basket and walked over to the produce, inspecting all of the lettuce before she made her selection. While she was craning for the perfect head, she felt a tug on her dress that nearly sent her flying into the display. Maura looked down into a pair of teary brown eyes that belonged to a little boy. Maura quickly calculated that he was around the 24 month mark, given his height and level of mobility. She knelt down to the child, remembering to get down to his eye level before speaking.

"Hello, young sir. My name is Maura, do you have a name?" she said lovingly to the boy. Where were his parents? Maura looked for any signs of injury, thankful to find none. He had probably just wondered off.

"Max. Where are Mommy and Wooby?" The child asked, trusting that Maura knew all since she was adult like his Mommy.

"I don't know kiddo, what was she buying?" The M.E. tried a simpler approach, the store was only so big, and at 10 o'clock at night there weren't many shoppers around.

"Diapers. I use pull-ups but Wooby still wears baby diapers. She's…stubborn" Max tried to sound out the words that his mother used to describe him almost daily. He reached up to Maura, silently asking to be held. He was scared and this lady was gonna help him.

"Mommy said no strangers, but you have a badge like Mommy. You fight bad guys too?" The toddler touched her BPD identification tag.

Maura hoisted the child up, and set him in the crook of her hip. Her maternal instincts were kicking in, making her feel a bit awkward for toting someone else's child around.

"Are you hungry Max?" Maura asked, trying to distract him so he didn't overwhelm himself.

"Wittle." He admitted, wrapping his arms around her neck.

Maura reached into her purse and found the little bag of snacks that she always walked around with. If her blood sugar dropped too low, she became a whole other person. She grabbed the orange peanut butter crackers that barely constituted as food but for some reason she just couldn't go without them.

She handed the package to the child, who looked at her in adoration. If you fed him, he would be your best friend. Maura stood up and balanced on her heels. She had to adjust her center of gravity. She had her basket one side and Max on her hip, the same arm holding her purse. Slowly they began the trek towards the child section of the store. Little orange flecks littered her black dress, but she didn't even care. It just felt to right to have this child with her; she must really be alone to feel like that.

The little boy on her side was humming some random tune and it made Maura's negative mood disappear. They were almost there when the bundle on her hip tensed and yelled "Mommy! There Mawa, it's Mommy!" Max pointed to a woman talking to the manager of the store frantically.

"Maxwell Franklin Rizzoli, why did you run away from me?!" The tall, dark woman marched up to her son, snatching him out of Maura's arms. "I was so scared baby boy, you're the man of the house" Maura stored that tidbit of information for later.

The woman looked frazzled, yet beautiful. She had wavy brown hair tied into a messy bun with a pencil. She wore a men's plaid shirt, but a very-very tight undershirt that didn't leave any speculation on whether she was blessed with certain assets. Low-slung denim jeans hung off her hips and were baggy all the way down to her work boots. She was gorgeous by all means, mud stains and all. She looked Maura up and down, judging her most likely.

"I'm sorry this little monster got you Mrs.…?" Jane hinted towards the woman

"Isles, Dr. Maura Isles. It was no problem, little Max told me where you were at. He also said that talking to strangers was bad, but we had matching badges" Maura indicated to her bag with a smile.

"Oh, you work for the Medical Examiner's office? I don't know why I haven't seen you there, I'm down there all the time!" Jane said.

"I'm the Chief Medical Examiner; I've just gotten back into town. I was filling in for someone upstate and I've just been transferred back."

"I'm sorry!" the woman exclaimed, "I'm so rude; I'm Detective Jane Rizzoli of the Boston Police Department. Pleasure to meet you, although I wish it had been under better circumstances" Jane said, pointing to the little boy who had fallen asleep in the cart.

"Considering our professions, Detective, I believe this could have been one of the best" Maura chuckled and look down towards the little girl in the cart who giving Maura quite the glare.

"That's true, Doctor. Call me Jane? This little rascal is Ruby, and you've already been introduced to the lovely Maxwell. I truly thank you for bringing him back. Ever since my wife passed away, they haven't taken real well to other women Sorry, that's an overshare, I don't get out much" Jane blushed at the emotional confession.

"It's fine Jane, please call me Maura. I'll admit that I haven't talked to anyone that isn't dead or working for me since I've been back; it's refreshing to have another woman to talk to."

"Well, the munchkins are already passed out but I'm starving. What do you say Dr. Isles, care to join a lonely woman for dinner? I made some stellar macaroni and cheese. If you're lucky, we might even get some dinosaur nuggets." Jane smiled at Maura, showing off her wonderful dimples. Maura's heart started beating quickly; maybe she had finally found a friend.

"I'd love to, thank you."


	19. RENT - Seasons Of Love

I'm so sorry, but this story would not leave my head. The next one will be so fluffy that you'll explode. Also, I took some liberties with the Rizzles timeline.** Trigger Warning for non-graphic major character death.**

* * *

><p>So much happens in life every single day: You can fall in love, get married, have children, raise those children, and live happily every after. We measure our lives in how long we've been on this planet. Or, in this case, we measure how long we've been gone from this planet.<p>

525,600 minutes. That's how long it had been since Maura Isles kissed Jane Rizzoli good morning. 365 days since she had thrown her arms around her wife, not wanting to face the morning. 3,557,600 seconds since Jane kissed their daughter on the nose and said she loved her so much. One whole year without Detective Jane Rizzoli in this world had crawled by while all the years before that seemed to rush right by them.

Maura was camped out in BPD sweatpants and a pullover hoodie that had seen better days. Silent tears dropped off of her face and she gazed lovingly at the tombstone representing her wife. Everything had been okay this time last year.

One year ago, Maura was sitting in the morgue, talking to Frost about their daughter's first birthday which was going to happen the next week. Jane hadn't wanted to have a large party; their daughter, Bailey, wasn't even old enough to remember it. But, Angela had convinced the whole family that they needed to celebrate the life of the newest Rizzoli. Maura could still not believe that her baby would be turning one- time really did fly by.

Now, Maura was a single mother, something she never thought would happen. Later today would be the annual dinner announcing the scholarship fund set up in Jane's memorial. If Maura wanted to make peace with her wife, she needed to do it quickly. Bailey was entering the terrible twos and Angela could only handle her for so long. She had a speech planned, but it all seemed so fake. So, she tried to think of all the memories they had made in the previous years.

"Jane, my pretty girl, I don't know what to tell you other than I still love you", Maura whispered to the tombstone.

_in Daylights  
><em>  
>"Remember the first time I stayed the night? We weren't even lovers yet, we had only known each other a few months. But, I'd had a lot of wine, and you were cold so we snuggled under your quilt on your futon. That old piece of crap was so uncomfortable Jane, but I remember waking up in the greatest of moods because you're beautiful face welcomed me into the day. I must have stayed still for a half hour trying to relish in your warmth. I think I might have fallen in love with you that day, Jane Rizzoli"<p>

_in sunsets  
><em>  
>"Oh! There was that time where we took a walk down the pier. You had just found out that your Pop was divorcing Angela and you were so pissed. We walked, you in your dress blues and I had chosen horrible shoes for unplanned walking, for nearly 6 miles until you had calmed down. We turned towards the beach just in time to see the sun setting. You whispered in my ear that if we were dating, you would have proposed at the moment because it was so beautiful. I was so taken aback that I don't think I spoke for nearly an hour after that. I had never considered that someone would want to marry me Jane. How come when I finally find that person, they're taken away" Maura cried hard, her breathing uneven and loud. She pulled her knees up to her chest and sobbed.<p>

_in midnights and cups of coffee_

"Do you remember the night that my mother got hit by that car Jane? You just held me while I cried for hours on end. I didn't know if I was more upset by my mother being hit, or the fact that someone wanted to kill me. I do now realize that my mother has always loved me, and was just doing things to protect me. But, then, I was so pissed that she would do that to herself. As soon as I started to yell at her, you pulled me out of the room and kissed me. I know it wasn't romantic then I know. But Jane, but it made me realize that I had always loved you. We walked down to that Starbucks and got coffee that you hated. You drank it without complaint Jane, I remembered the little things. You looked into my eyes, and said that you loved me. I knew you meant platonically but it still made my heart soar Jane" Maura

_in inches_

"Three inches. Our little inside joke, even if it wasn't very funny. When Dennis almost took me down the elevator shaft. You had told me that I was three inches from losing you. Which made me laugh through my tears because you meant it the other way around. I still loved you for it nonetheless. Later that night you held me tight and said you loved me so much. I was so scared for my life that night,and you made me feel safe. I was three inches from never being able to feel safe in your arm. We still say it too Jane, all the time. Bailey will yell "momma I love you for free inches" She thinks it's just how we say 'I love you'. I don't if I should put a stop to it or not. It's cute and horrific all at once." Maura wiped the tears from her eyes and knelt before the stone, placing a small kiss on the cold block. She stood up and brushed off the dirt from her pants. She walked down the hill, back to her car.

_in miles  
><em>  
>I ran the marathon again this year Jane. I sponsored the Jane Rizzoli scholarship fund along with all of BPD. Even Tommy and Lydia joined in, although they stopped at about 3 miles into the race. We raised almost $500,000 for kids to be able to go to any school they chose. I got to heartbreak hill, and I remembered the time where we ran it at night, and the beautiful hug you gave me when we had finished. That was also another day that you made me feel so safe. I can't explain it; it's like I always just knew that you would protect me with everything you had. Do you remember those three kids that Rondo brought in that one time? Well, the two boys are going to school for pre-law and Tawnya is going to medical school. How is it, Jane Clementine Rizzoli, that you even manage to be so selfless from the afterlife?" Maura made it to her car. The sun was nearly behind the hill, so she sat on the hood and watched the sun disappear.<p>

_in laughter and strife._

"If there's one thing I miss most about you pretty girl, it's your laugh. Not the laugh that you would throw around after the sarcastic comments you made. No, It's the belly laugh that made you cry and gasp for breath. The ones that left you feeling so happy that you couldn't think of a single time in your life that you'd been happier. Remember the time when Frost's mother and her girlfriend whooped your behind at softball? I felt proud of myself that day. Yes, you had lost, but I had gotten to experience something with you. We laughed around that table at the robber and I knew it was only going to be so long before I needed to tell you that I loved you. It's such a shame Jane, their wedding is in three months, and I no longer have a date. Maybe Bay will be joyous that day and be willing to travel with me" Maura looked into the purple and orange sky, wishing that she could just her wife one last time that she loved her.

_in truth that she learned_

"The night after my stint in jail Jane, that was the worst and best night of my life. Do you still know the words that you said to the woman who hit me? I do. I sometimes think of the way you looked defending me to everyone, and I feel safe again. We sat on my couch that night…er morning? I think it was about 3 a.m. and we just talked about life. We had drifted apart because of Casey, and you could tell I didn't like him. Then, you asked me why and I could not lie Jane. I told you that I loved you more than anyone else in this world and do you remember what you said Jane? You told me that the only reason you were the arresting officer for my case was because you didn't trust anyone not to latch the cuffs too tight. You had missed my point. I was so frustrated that I cried, then you cried because I was crying, then we both cried and I admitted my true feelings and you did the same to me. Then, we cried as we made the most beautiful love one could ever make." Maura smiled at the last part of that memory.

_or in times he cried_

"I will never forget the expression Casey made when he proposed to you weeks later. You had told him many times that you were not interested in a relationship and he was just so damn persistent. He knelt down in front of the whole squad room and asked you the question. I felt so horrible, but I actually laughed a little when he started to cry. He left that day, red faced and furious and I haven't seen him since. It was then that I knew that we were a forever type thing. Of course, I didn't tell you that until much later. But, that's when I truly knew that you were the one for me, Jane Rizzoli"

_in bridges he burned_

The fact that your father refused to show up to Bay's birth was something that had weighed on your soul for far too long. I know you sent him a baby shower invite, and I remember what he sent back to you. I cannot believe that a man who ran off with a woman younger than his kids had the audacity to send you biblical quotes. I remember you hiding out from the rest of us in Bailey's room, rocking her to sleep and telling her that she would always have two loving parents who would support her in everything she did. No one ever asked about Casey and I'm fairly certain that he wouldn't even bat an eye over the fact that he helped created the most beautiful child in existence. He was done with us long before you denied his proposal. Frankie helps out a lot now, we've actually gotten very close. I'd never had siblings before Jane, and he sure has done a wonderful job being 'unka fanks'. He loves Bay so much, and sometimes I think it's you channeling through him. " Maura pressed two fingers to her lips and held them out for the wind to take to Jane.

_or that way that she died._

"I don't really want to talk about it, but I'm sure that I need to. I have survivor's guilt Jane. There, I admitted it. I am the reason that you're no longer saving lives on this planet. Was my measly life worth the hundreds- thousands of lives that you would have saved. Why? It's not your fault that the security at the park was lax that day. No one could have stopped that gunman, so why did you try? I'm scared to go outside and I'm too afraid for anyone other than myself and Frankie to look after Bailey. I'm literally shaking because Angela has her now and one time she let Tommy walk out of the house as a toddler. But I need to be here, with you today Jane. Did I tell you that I dropped the Isles from my legal name? I mean, everyone still calls me Dr. Isles, but my legal name is Maura Rizzoli. We all match Jane, we all match now" Maura can barely breathe now, but she still stand up on the hood shakily and throws her hands in the air.

"I LOVE YOU JANE RIZZOLI, AND I WILL NEVER STOP"

Maura sat back down and slid off the car. She got into the Prius and started to drive away feeling a little bit lighter than she had before. Maybe she would get through this some day. Maybe.


	20. Rise Against - Swing Life Away

"Maura, what do you wanna be when you grow up?"

Maura thought hard for a moment for the appropriate answer. She'd been asked this question frequently and each time she responded, she had a different answer.

"I don't know quite yet Jane, my mind changes nearly every time I'm asked. But, I know that I want to grow up with you" Maura pecked her girlfriend on the cheek and blushing at the spontaneous show of affection.

"I suppose that's okay Maur. I just ask 'cause Mrs. Gott asked me today if I had figured out my 'life plan' yet" Jane said putting her thin calloused hand over Maura's dainty digits. She used her long legs to push the porch swing back and forth slowly. Maura was sat sideways with her legs tucked under her dress. They only had two more days left of school left before the summer break started. Jane would be graduating next year with the class of '68 and Maura would be a junior in high school. But, she wanted to graduate with her girlfriend so had decided to take a large course load so she would be considered finished after her junior year.

"I think that's a shallow question that adults have to ask us so they feel better about where they are in life. It's not like you chose this" Maura vented. She hated that Jane would have to go through her senior year alone; her family had not taken the news of their courtship lightly. They threw her out without even giving her time to explain why she had been on the Rizzoli's couch with one hand under Maura's sweater.

So, Jane had gotten a job at the Piggly Wiggly grouping carts to make some money. Maura's mother had graciously let Jane rent out their guest house for only 20 dollars a month. Jane didn't know this, but that money was going back into a savings account in her name for wherever she chose to go to school. Constance Isles was generally a liberal soul, and paid no mind to their relationship. Jane had gotten "the talk" from her Mr. Isles, and passed with flying colors. They actually breathed a collective sigh of relief, knowing their daughter was beauty and would make someone very happy. This just eliminated the possibility of worrying about unplanned...mistakes.

"It's okay Maur. Once summer starts, Gio said that I could work with his dad in the garage. That pays nearly 30 dollars a week, so my whole paycheck from the store can go to saving up for our honeymoon!

Maura giggled and covered her mouth to avoid and further outbursts. She and Jane frequently talked about their wedding day, whenever it would happen. They spoke of it frankly; they planned on marrying as soon as Maura turned 18. Unfortunately, it was illegal to do so in the US, so they would have to pretend the whole time. Maybe someday they could legally wed though, that would be a dream.

Maura scooted down and laid her head gently in Jane's lap, hearing her stomach growl. They had skipped their lunch period to sneak in chaste (mostly) kisses in girl's restroom.

"Are you hungry Jane? I forgot we skipped lunch." Maura asked, inhaling the smell of Jane's skin. The slow rocking was putting the smaller girl to sleep; she was just so comfortable with Jane. Suddenly Jane lifted her bridal-style off the swing and brought her out back to her guesthouse. If Maura's parents ever minded that she spent most nights out there, they never said anything.

Jane dropped her dozing girlfriend into her bed and tucked her in. She stripped down her undershirt and threw on some boxers. She gingerly stepped over the smiling blonde and took the spot behind her, slowly putting an arm over Maura's curvy body. Jane couldn't really help but she saw Maura in a whole new light this year. They had been 'dating' since Maura was 14, and hadn't really cared for anything too physical. Now, at almost 17, she looked much different. Jane liked to run her hands over the ribs and waist that seemed to go on forever. Apparently the brunette was destined to be a thin bean pole for the rest of her existence.

Jane's hand wandered under Maura's sweater, making the familiar trek from the bottom of her camisole to the hem of her underskirt. She just lazily trailed her fingers back and forth down the side of the sleeping blonde. Jane started to fall asleep and eventually her caresses slowed considerably. She accidentally dipped under the silky slip and landed right on her hip, flush with the dip bone. Jane jerked slightly and realized that she had found another one of her favorite spots. She rubbed it slowly and felt herself grow drowsy once more. Once her breathing evened out, a small smile broke out on Maura's face. She had woken up as soon as Jane had gotten into bed; the display had been too sweet to stop. Besides, she liked having Jane's hand there; it made her feel safe.


	21. Passenger - Let Her Go

The melody of the Boston Police Orchestra is soothing to your nerves as you take your assigned seat. Today is her special day, one that she'll never forget. You're going to have to make sure that you don't jump up and yell when Cavanaugh asks if anyone doesn't want them to get married. It's so sunny out, that you can see the slow tears on people's faces and they catch up and chatter before the wedding.

The music changes and you glance behind you to see everyone lining up to walk down the aisle. Slowly the pairs make their way to the front of the makeshift altar. The newly ordained Lieutenant Cavanaugh stood before the crowd, a teary twinkle in his eye like everyone else at this event. Rizzoli is the unsung hero of BPD and everyone's hearts are bursting with joy. Well, yours is trying to burst. You'll get over her, you have to.

After the wedding party is lined up, you hear the bridal march start and your heart sinks. Can you look at what you'll never have?

Sigh

Whatever.

You stand up and turn around, tearing springing to your eyes as you take in the heavenly form of the blushing bride, Jane Rizzoli. Her hair is still down in the classic Rizzoli mane but she'd donned a floral crown. Good lord, she's so beautiful. Why did you wait too long, why didn't you just tell her that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with her?

Why didn't you tell her that you wanted to kiss her dimples every time that she smiled?  
>Why didn't you tell her that her swagger was so sultry that you copied it?<p>

Why didn't you save her when she shot herself?

Why didn't you save her?  
>Why didn't you?<p>

Why?

She walks past you with Korsak on her arm. She smiles at you and god fucking damnit she just looks so ..content. She tries to wink at you, which makes the tears in her eyes finally spill over and you lose it. She looks so gorgeous in her white sundress that, for a moment, you think she might be an angel.

She floats to the front of the altar and turns around. You study her face for bit and suddenly it she bursts into tears and you look back down the aisle.

There's Maura, in her pure white Vera something-or-other dress, walking down with Mr Isles on her arm. She looks like a magazine bride, only somehow even more exquisite. She makes the trek down the red carpeted aisle and stops across from Jane. Cavanaugh starts his speech about true love and happiness and you feel a hand on your shoulder. It's Robin, your mother next to her is bawling.

"Are you okay Barry? I know this is gonna be hard" She said to you quietly.

You just shrug, you don't know if it will be okay.

You don't.


	22. The Cab - Bad

**You've never done this before.**

You know that your parents don't know where you are.

They've long forgotten about you.

You pat her thigh, and scoot real close

You know where she will lead you

**You've never done this before**

"This is where the all the other kids go"

You park the car and stare at her

You're so happy and free, careless and light

Lying the back seat with her

**You've never done this before**

She purrs your name, you love the sound

And her hands are on your ribs

Her mane of hair tickles your face

You know you're too far gone

**You've never done this before**

She guides your hands to places unknown

And everything is warm

A cry, a gasp, you've come undone

You're moaning in her hair

**You've never done this before**

She bites your neck and nips your ear

Her noises hit the peak

You haven't been caught, that's half the game

You'll have to try again

**You've never been bad before.**


	23. Katy Perry - I Kissed a Girl

I checked my watch for the umpteenth time, hoping that maybe time had slowed down. Obviously, Garrett wasn't going to show up. He probably went out drinking with "the boys" and at a strip club somewhere in the city.

I have no idea why I continue to pursue a relationship with him; he's not exactly charming. To make matters even worse, my mother was supposed to have us over for dinner tonight. But, when she got wind of our "date night" she stepped back and assured us that we should enjoy ourselves. Yeah, right. I'm sure enjoying myself sitting in a dance club, by myself nonetheless, waiting for man who doesn't love me- but loves my last name.

I know that I'm just a business trade to them; my happiness isn't truly important. Its times like this when I'm reminded just shunned I am by my parent's friends for being adopted; I'm not part of their precious bloodline. I should probably just leave. I start my new rotation at the hospital tomorrow, and I don't want to be out too late. My phone dings and I open my clutch, oh, it's Garrett.

Sorry babe, work ran long, I'm staying in the office all night.

It's New Year's Day, his office isn't open. Does he think so little of me and a simple porous lie will make me feel okay about this? I think not.

Don't worry, I'll make do. See you tomorrow.

K.

Why is it so hard for people to spell out simple words? Cell phones are becoming much easier to message on for people to shorten their words even further? I just don't understand why people would want to decrease the thought behind their message. Maybe I'm just putting too much thought for this.

I checked my watch what I decided was the last time: it was only 10:30; I still had an hour to kill before I needed to be home. Maybe I would mingle, or whatever people do in these types of situations.

I spun my seat towards the bar and nodded to the bartender, asking for whatever was on tap. I generally don't consume malt liquor, Garrett always made comments about me being a little too curvy, but I was in the mood to cross him in every way. So, a beer is what I wished for.

I downed the first bottle in two gulps, and tapped the bar for another one. Looks like it's time to open a tab. Fifteen minutes later found me two beers down a shot of tequila someone bought for me. I was feeling the buzz, but only enough to ease the pain of being stood up for a woman in a B-string or whatever they wore. Dancing seemed like a good idea to relieve some tension, Garrett never once asked if I liked to dance. What he didn't know is that from ages 10-15 we took a hip-hop dancing class along with some sporadic Tango lessons; his loss I suppose. I gulped down some of the water I'd requested, and moved myself onto the dance floor.

When initially invited, I had assumed that this would be a higher-end dance club, so I'd taken extra care to look nice. But, there were people from all walks of life here, and I looked woefully overdressed. Oh, this song has a good beat; I just have to find my rhythm.

I get too perplexed about when to start dancing to a song, it's like- if you enter before the chorus, you've prematurely...that's not where I wanted this thought to go. Good Lord Maura, you are not sex crazed lunatic, it's only been a few months. You've gone much longer without intimacy; you don't need to act so self-conscious.

The crescendo of the dance song started to crest, so I slipped into the crowd and moved my hips to the beat. Once the chorus started I felt my cheeks turn red; this song was about kissing girls. I'd never really considered kissing a female, but they most likely were soft and warm. The people in this club were kind of touchy; they didn't mind putting their hands on you. Everyone was respectful of course; I would have left by now if they were not.

Whoever wrote this song must have been in the same position I was because she seemed a bit mad at her boyfriend as well. I guess she's right and probably famous now. I wonder if her album is the same way, I'll have to check it out.

A large burly ginger man sneaks his hand around my torso as we dance together. His steps were awkward and alcohol addled, so I maneuvered my way out of his grasp. Nearly three whole seconds later, he had found another blonde to dance with so I think I'm safe. There's a warm breath near my neck and a voice make me jump, it's too dark and loud to see or hear anything so I spin around to ask what was said.

I squint and one of the spotlights shines near us so I can see who this person it. She's very pretty. Actually, handsome described her better. Chiseled features with soft eyes, and seemingly of Italian descent. It was a beautiful combination.

"I'm sorry" I start, "I was having a terrible time hearing you, what did you say?"

"I asked if you'd like to dance with me. I don't like just walking up to people and putting my hands on them, it seems rude and impersonal"

I nod and turn myself around; I'd never danced like this with a woman before. But, tonight was definitely becoming the night to try new things.

She grabs my hips and pushes us together, waiting for me to stop. I grind myself into her and raise my arms to hang above my head. I felt her warm hand slide up the sides of my dress and stop on my ribs. Thumbs massaged my back and I was more turned on than I ever had been before. I lowered my arms and grabbed her hands, making them skim over my breasts lightly. I was slowly losing my reserve but I'm sure the tequila was speeding it along faster. The woman took the cue and I felt her warm lips on my neck. Normally I did not enjoy being shorter than my dates, but we fit together perfectly. I nudged her hand, which had taken purchase on my hips and she opened her palm. We intertwined hands, knowing that this wasn't just going to be an innocent dance.

I turn around and she's moving in quickly and I panic, moving my head to the side. She catches my neck and whispers "ouch...rejected" and laughs. Oh good lord her laugh is baritone and sexy. I just can't control myself and I place both of my hands on her face, noticing my watch and internally laughing because I have a boyfriend at home who will be single tomorrow. I push our faces together so our foreheads touch and our noses bump. I can feel her breath my mouth and I smell cherries. I have to have a taste.

I graze her lips, licking the chapstick off that transferred onto me.

It wasn't enough.

I kiss her a little harder, still swaying to the music as the next song starts. I feel her hands come around and rest on the small of my back, as she leans in once again and kisses me until I'm dizzy.

"Jane", she husked into my ear, biting the lobe and letting her teeth travel down my neck, sending electric shivers down my spine.

"It's a pleasure" I say, reaching just underneath her plain V-neck shirt, feeling warm skin under it.

Jane just winked and threaded her fingers in my hair, bringing us together again for another kiss. I could not get enough of this, and now I understand why that song had become so popular:

I had kissed a girl, and liked it.


	24. Coldplay - Fix You

"Sssh!" Jane held a finger up to her lips, telling Maura to be quiet as she climbed down the trellis of her home. It was nearing midnight, and if Maura's father, the mayor, woke up they would be forbidden to see each other ever again. He had strict policies when it came to his daughter and wife, almost controlling them. Maura was 17 and only had three more months left until she would be free from them.

The blonde quietly shut the window from the outside making sure to prevent any footprints on the sills. She couldn't take any chances being so close to graduation; she needed to leave her horrible family. She looked down to make sure that Jane was there to catch her if she fell. Slowly and quietly, Maura finally made it most of the way down and leaped off knowing that Jane would catch her.

They ran as fast as they could back to Jane's house, which was just down the street. They ran behind all the houses in the dark, giggling and laughing like children. It was late in March and the air was still a bit cold. A healthy flush made Maura look like a porcelain doll. Jane suddenly stopped and whipped around, bracing herself.

Maura was running too quickly to stop and ran right into Jane's arms, knocking them into the pile of hay behind the Rizzoli barn. Jane rolled on top of her girlfriend and placed little kisses all over her face. She just loved Maura so much and it killed her to watch her family be so cruel and ignorant. Slowly she dipped down for a longer, warmer kiss, taking Maura's hands in hers. They had plans to leave once Maura graduated, and she had been slowly filling Jane's truck with belongings that he parent's would know she was missing: a Christmas card from years ago when they were away, Jane's first love letter to her, and a button from the first cardigan that Jane had told her that she looked beautiful in.

Today she had grabbed some clothes and stuffed bear from when she was little. Jane stood up and held out a hand for Maura to stand up. She brushed little bits of hay off her dress and smiled brightly at Jane, these were the moments she was made to live for, why she stayed afloat. They made their way over to Jane's old pickup truck, Betsy. Betsy was covered in more rust than paint, and she sounded like angry cattle when you drove her. But, it was spacious and ran well enough, so it was declared their escape vehicle

They climbed in the back of Betsy and hid Maura's things in Jane's softball bag. The brunette pulled a blanket out of the back, motioning for Maura to lie down. They loved to just stare at the stars and talk about their future. They also loved the privacy in entailed, and they hadn't been able to do it since last November since the snow had ruined every chance they had. Soon enough Maura was snuggled up into Jane's side with her hands underneath her sweatshirt to keep them warm. Jane had one arm behind her head and the other holding Maura close to her. They never remembered to store a coat in the truck and the petite blonde only wore dresses made out what seemed like the thinnest fabric around.

They heard a stick snap and they both jumped. They didn't need to get caught, that would ruin everything. Jane flipped them over, hissing at the cold metal of the truck bed, and threw the blanket over them. Maura was trembling, from fear and the chill of the truck. They waited quietly hold their breath until they heard the doors open on the truck. Two whispers could be heard in the night.

"Yeah, Ma and Pop ain't back from bingo yet, let's go to Steve's" said a voice that sounded an awful lot like Tommy- Jane's youngest brother.

"Okay, is Stacey there? I ain't gotten laid in months!" the other voice, probably Frankie, said.

Jane cringed; her brothers were only 17 and 15, where were they going? But, if she yelled at them, she'd get in trouble too. Her parents would be much more upset about Jane's relationship than their sons sneaking out; that's why she hated this small town. The truck started with a bang, she was really regretting giving Frankie her spare keys. They started moving, and Maura let out a little gasp. They stayed still again and waited to see if anyone noticed them.

After a bit, Jane relaxed and kissed Maura's nose. If they were really going to Steve's, the boys would be only down the street. Jane whispered this to Maura and the blonde seemed to let loose a bit. They snuggled into each other, waiting for the moment to get off and run back.

After about 10 minutes or so, they finally pulled into a gravel driveway. Jane peeked out from under the blanket and saw that Frankie had parked about a half mile away from their friend's house. If they drove any closer, they risked waking the neighbors up. When both doors slammed shut and the sound of the boys running to the house faded, Jane lifted the blanket and looked around.

They shuffled off the truck and walked around to clear their minds. Jane grabbed the blanket and motioned for Maura to follow her. If they were already out this way, they might as well walk down to Prospect Pond. It was where they had their first date and they had never been back. They never saw each other enough to be meet up somewhere.

"Follow me Maur" Jane whispered to her girlfriend and grabbed her hand. They walked into the cornfields and took a right. Eventually they made it into the back part of the park. There was a gazebo and a stone path that lead to the lake. It was heavily used for fishing and people's pictures, but after dark no one came to this part of the pond. Jane found the cement slab they normally used to fish off of and remembered the lunch they ate here only a few years ago on their first date.

She spread out the blanket and they sat down. Jane pulled Maura's head into her lap and slowly fingered the blonde tresses that spilled over her jeans. Maura's hand found Jane's back and kept tracing her fingers over Jane's dimples there. They laid there for what seemed like hours until Jane's legs fell asleep. She slid down and Maura scooted up until the top of her head rested under Jane's chin. The grey sweatshirt the brunette had been wearing had slid up, revealing a toned olive colored stomach and hips. Maura busied herself writing little phrases like "Mrs. Maura Rizzoli" and Dr. Maura Rizzoli-Isles over the skin, watching in the moonlight how little goosebumps raised behind the trail of her fingers. She got a little bolder and dipped her finger just under Jane's jeans, playing with the leather of her belt buckle. She was curious, they'd been dating long enough, and maybe they should take things further?

"Maura, if you're going to keep doing that, we're going to need to talk okay?" Jane rasped. "I love you, okay? If we go this far, you have to make sure that you are sure. I don't want to be a bad memory okay?"

Maura's heart warmed every time Jane said she loved her, and she knew that Jane was the one. So, she nodded and placed soft kisses on olive skinned collarbones. She heard Jane inhale deeply and knew she was doing alright. She'd never done this before, but she still had a vague idea of what to do.

Next she slid her hand under Jane's shirt, taking a moment to feel her abdominals twitch. With a deep breath, Maura slid her hand further up Jane's shirt, realizing that her girlfriend had indeed gone braless. She explored Jane's chest, and soon the sweatshirt was being discarded behind them. Jane laid there in just a tank top and jeans, letting Maura explore every part of her. They were in no rush, they were young and in love.

Maura saw that Jane was cold, and told her to put her hoodie back on, which she begrudgingly did. Maura shimmied down to hover over Jane's torso. She started to undo the leather belt, and unbuttoned the denim, taking care to go slowly. Soon, Jane's zipper was down and Maura's hand made a slow trek inside the denim.

When she reached her destination, Jane moaned. The blonde looked up and saw her girlfriend's head thrown back, sucking in her lip. Her chest was heaving and her hands were gripping the blanket so tight, her knuckles were white. Maura continued to explore all of Jane and soon Jane came down from her high. Maura quickly zipped up Jane's jeans and redid her belt, forgetting the button and having to backtrack once again.

Maura looked into Jane's eyes, blushing at her sudden almost predatory advance. Jane's eyes shone in the moonlight with unshed tears.

"I love you Maura, so fucking much. I love you. Let me take my turn?" Jane placed both hands on Maura's cheeks and kissed her softly, bringing the small girl into her lap. She had one knee on either side of Jane's legs and was sitting on the brunette's thighs. Slowly they kiss and Jane unbuttoned the front of Maura's dress, reaching inside and touching every inch of skin she could. She even went as far as letting her mouth taste the delicious milky white skin of Maura. Soon the pale skin was shiny from Jane's mouth and littered with little bite marks. Maura was desperate b now, not even bothering to hide her moving hips on Jane's thighs.

Jane reached under Maura's dress, and moved aside the undergarments the blonde wore, feeling just how much of an effect she'd had on the blonde. Maura was making little noises in Jane's ear that were driving Jane mad. Finally, she took the final step and Maura bit down on Jane's shoulder muffling her mew.

"Are you okay babe?" Jane whispered

"Yes, it's better now. Please don't stop" Maura barely finished before moaning into Jane's sweater. She ground her hips down, making her head spin and her eyes roll back. A little while later, Maura's muscles stilled and she whispered "I love you" in Jane's ear, her voice cracking. They stayed in that embrace for quite a while, both regaining their composure.

They snuggled on the blanket, and just lie there until they fell asleep. A few hours later, Jane woke up to the sunrise starting over the corn in the distance. She shook Maura awake and Maura blushed, realizing that they really had made love in the moonlight only hours previous. They kissed and held hands, watching the sun come up.

After it started to get light out, they ran like children back to Maura's house, where she once again climbed up her house, and shimmied into pajamas. She threw her underwear in the garbage and set her dress in the hamper. She set her alarm to go off in a minute, and gave Jane thumbs up.

Jane waited patiently for about five minutes before she walked up to the Isles' front door. She knocked and the Mayor answered in his robe, a glass of orange juice in his hand.

"Good Morning Mayor Isles, is Maura ready? I told her that I would drive her to her college visit, and we need to be there by 8 a.m.

"Of course Jane, she should be down in a minute" Mayor Isles said, not making a move to let her in.

Maura floated down the stairs in a new dress, looking fresh for the day. She smiled at her father and gave him a kiss.

"Bye Daddy, I'll be back around four, alright?" Maura asked sweetly, knowing that if schooling was involved, he'd never say no.

"Okay Sweet Pea, good luck" He kissed her on the cheek and shut the door.

The two girls turned to each other and smiled. Finally Jane spoke up:

"Okay Maur, let's see if the boys made it home at a decent hour. Race ya?" Jane took off, with Maura soon on her heels. They were young and in love and these were the moments that they would remember forever.


	25. Alanis Morissette - Head Over Feet

Jane slammed Maura's front door as she stomped into the living room. Maura was reading one of those scientific journals that Jane couldn't even pronounce the title to. The blonde looked up over her reading glasses and saw the anger in Jane's features. She slid up into a cross legged position and motioned for the detective to sit down.

"No Maur, I'm too wound up to sit right now; Casey fucking left again. I told him that I just needed a night to relax and have some "me" time. Now he's acting like a high school princess and giving me an attitude. 'Oh baby, don't you love me? I just wanna love you forever'" Jane mocked the conversation they'd had only hours prior.

"Well, if you still want some alone time, you're welcome to use my yoga room. I have to leave in a few minutes to meet Susie for lunch so we can talk about program grants for new equipment" Maura smiled softly as Jane's face lost its' fury. She simply nodded and patted Maura's blanket covered thigh.

The detective stripped down to her sports bra and threw on a pair of Maura's yoga shorts she found in the cupboard in the corner of the room. She hooked up her speed bag and took a few test swings. Eventually, she decided to wrap her hands; this wasn't going to be light. She started turn back around to ask Maura where her tape was when Maura actually walked into the door. She had an armful of things and set them on the cupboard where Jane had gotten her shorts.

"I assumed, yes I assumed-don't give me that face, that you didn't grab anything you needed so I made a bit of a pile for you. Here's the tape, some gauze if you burn yourself on the leather, a gatorade, a water, and an old towel because you sweat like you walked straight outta hell, Rizzoli" Maura tried to impersonate Martinez towards the end, failing miserably.

Jane laughed and was touched by the amount of thought Maura had put into this. She had only taken about 5 minutes, and it made her smile. As much as she hated being coddled by Casey, she really did love it when Maura did nice things for her. Especially spontaneous things like this. Jane gave Maura a one armed hug and the blonde started to wrap Jane's other hand. It was little things like this that kept Jane sane throughout the day. When she was done, Maura patted her hands and mock punched Jane on the shoulder.

Maura made a macho-type face and said "Get em tiger" with a wink and shuffled out. Jane's heart soared and she realized just how much Maura actually did for her.


	26. Fauxliage - Let It Go

Maura groaned as the buttery sunlight slipped between the curtains in her bedroom, warming her face. It wasn't that she disliked mornings; quite the opposite really. She just happened to have warmed lithe body pressed against hers, and it really did make getting out of bed difficult.

She looked down at the black pieces of hair that spilled out onto the white sheets, almost like ink blots on paper. Jane Rizzoli was beautiful, even when she slept in the middle of her bed. The detective's body was shaped like the letter "k" with her right arm and leg flung over the side of the bed. She truly was a work of art, a orange leaf in fall per se. She represented raw power and beauty, something the poor M.E. was attracted to immensely.

She slowly traced the hem of the white ribbed tank top the brunette had worn to bed, enjoying the rough cotton against her fingers. Slowly, as not to wake the sleeping beauty, Maura gently touched the expanse of back that was exposed to the world. Dipping and rising over the muscled back of the detective was soothing; the blonde wished on a silent God that she could wake every day like this.

Jane started to wake, but only shifted a bit before falling back asleep. The sun was beaming now, casting gentle highlights on the bundle on her bed. She was only recently getting used to sharing space with someone in her life, even if the someone was only a friend.

Jane was closer to Maura that any lover ever had been: They shared meals, they shared clothes, they even shared the occasional shower. But, what Maura wanted so badly that it physically pained her, was to share her heart. But, no one would have it- no one wanted the cold defective heart of Maura Isles.

Little noises permeated into the blonde's sorrowful thoughts as Jane Rizzoli finally roused from her slumber. She opened one eye lazily, seeing Maura sitting up lost in thought. Maura was gorgeous, especially with sleep mussed hair and no makeup; she was a natural wonder of the world. She knew that Maura would make someone very happy, even if it would never be her.

Slowly Jane grabbed Maura's hand, surprised by how cold it was. How long had Maura been sitting like this? She tugged and hazel eyes flicked down towards her and smiled.

"Morning" Maura giggled at the cute faces Jane was making towards the sunlight that invaded her vision.

"G'mornin Maur. You're too cold; c'mere" Jane pulled the small woman under the covers and snuggled up behind her. She inhaled, the smell of Maura's lavender shampoo making her smile. She put an arm around the blonde's thin waist, and buried her cold nose into Maura's hair.

"Casey's gonna be here soon, you don't want to miss your fitting" Maura said lightly, not knowing how long she could keep on like this.

_Yes I do._ Jane thought sadly.

"Yeah, you're right. Ugh. Ten more minutes? I'm so cozy, it's illegal to move" Jane whined into blonde waves.

"Make it five Jane, you need to eat something before you go" Maura chided softly, knowing that Jane often forgot things like this, and someone needed to take care of her.

So, they laid in Maura's bed for five(and a half) more minutes as they both thought about their future and frowned. Would Jane be happy married to Casey? Would Maura grow old alone? It's questions like those that made those five(and a half) more minutes in bed, the happiest times of their lives.


	27. Kip Moore - Hey Pretty Girl

**Thanks to everyone who has been reviewing! Remember, if you want to request a song, I only accept them on my tumblr- kathyisweird. :D**

* * *

><p>"Mom?"<p>

"Yes honey?

"Is Mama gonna be ok?"

"Yes, she's going to be just fine, baby boy. She's just sleeping right now" Maura whispered to her son, clutching him to her chest. Jane would be just fine. He was out of him comfort zone; given Jane's line of work, they all were unnerved by hospitals. It was just something about the bright white lights, coupled with the smell of synthetic health that reminded them of bad times.

"She was crying though. I saw it. Can I bring her my Nono? She makes me feel better when I get sick." the four year old's lip was quivering; he was trying to be brave.

"We can't go in just yet; she's getting some tests done. But I can tell you a story if you want? Maybe pass the time until she's seeing visitors,"The M.E. ruffled the golden curls of her son, who loved it when his mothers read to him before bed.

"I would like that. I wanna hear the story of you and Mama" the boy said softly. Maura didn't know it but, the way she spoke of her wife was just so loving and soft that it made everyone around her just smile.

"The story of Mama and me...okay" the blonde blushed when her eyes started to water, she didn't expect that answer. The rush of emotion, especially today of all days, just couldn't fit into her chest. She took a moment to sort out her thoughts and cleared her throat.

"Well, Jay, a long time ago, before you were even thought of, I worked at the police station with your Mama. I had never had a friend before and she was very nice and welcoming to me." Maura smiled at the memory

_Maura set down the stack of folders that she had pulled out of her bag and sat tentatively in her chair at her new desk. She'd only been at BPD for a few hours and she was having quite the day so far: Detective Crowe had already commented on her physical appearance, as well as making sexual advances towards her. A 'lady of the night' had completely shunned her kindness at the cafe, and Maura Isles was convinced that Boston was just full of cruel, crude, and arrogant humans. _

_A light rap on her door jolted her from her thoughts. The hooker from the cafe was standing in her doorway. Maura silently chided herself for using that horrible word, it was a profession._

_"Hey" The woman said, picking at a loose thread on her shirt, which was already coming unraveled. _

_"Hello, how did you get down here? It's for author-"_

_"I work here. I'm sorry for the way I acted up there, okay? I'm Rizzoli-Jane Rizzoli. Victor-825 of the drug Unit." she admitted, pulling her badge out from in between her breasts. She tucked it back in and readjusted herself. _

_"You're undercover? I'm so sorry, Officer Rizzoli. I didn't mean to cause any issues. I seem to just be causing a ruckus on my first day." Maura sighed and stood to shake hands with the woman. She stuck out her hand and noticed that Rizzoli didn't return the gesture. Great, now she'd offended the whole drug unit._

_Suddenly she felt a bump against her hand, Jane was nudging it slightly-her face unreadable._

_"I haven't regained all my feeling yet; that's why I'm undercover. I have a few more months of physio but-"_

_"Oh! You're-oh. I'm so sorry; I didn't mean to offend you." Maura was almost in tears- this day was turning out to be terrible. _

_"No big deal…Doctor…?"_

_"Isles! I'm sorry. Doctor Maura Isles, your new medical examiner. Well, if you guys will keep me after the trouble I've caused." Maura was trying so hard not to cry in front of the brunette. Her hands were shaking now, making it difficult to brush away the tears. _

_Jane's hands came up to swipe away Maura's tears. Maura gasped- she could see the bright red scars raised on the olive-skinned hand. Jane smiled warmly at her, giving her shoulder the best squeeze she could manage._

_"Hey, don't cry- it breaks my heart when pretty girls cry" Jane said, sliding her hands up and down Maura's shoulders-making a silent promise to protect this wonderful woman for as long as she could._

"So, Mama's hands didn't work? What happened? Her hands hurt in winter" Jay started to put the pieces together. For being barely four years old, James "JayJay" Rizzoli was bright and eager. He was the center of their lives. He was a blessing and so beautiful, conceived via IVF, he was their miracle child.

"They do sometimes. But, they're all better when you kiss them. Remember? JayJay kisses heal all of our boo-boos, right?" Maura laughed at the language she used with him. She had vowed never to "baby speak: with her child, but she found herself doing it anyways.

Jay just nodded. He flicked his matching hazel eyes up to Maura and smiled, silently asking to hear the rest of the story.

"I wanna hear bout the first date. With Unka Frankie and the bad man"

Maura smiled, this was also a great memory and a good life lesson.

"Well, Uncle Frankie and your Mama were in the big fight at work. A big bully was inside with your Mama and she didn't even know!" Jay's eyes widened, even though he'd heard this story multiple times over the last four years.

"I remember being there, and you Mama brought in Uncle Frankie and he also had a boo-boo. It was a rather large one though. Your Mama was so scared for her little brother. I fixed him as best as I could and then she made them all go away" Maura left out the major details. "She asked me out in this very hospital"

_Jane was finally out of her 13 hours surgery to reconstruct her lower bowel and close her ruptured spleen. Maura had ridden over in the ambulance, crying all of the way. They had only known each other a few months, but they had connected. The blonde had watched Jane be promoted and finally regain full use of her hands. Jane had pulled Maura into her little group in homicide, making sure that Maura always had someone to go to. _

_Maura was holding the detective's hands, rubbing her thumbs over the scars on Jane's hands. Maura pulled her hair off to one side and laid her head on the bed next to Jane's feeling the warm breath on her face- a quiet reminder that the detective was still alive. _

_She woke some time later to Jane whispering in her sleep. It was generally unintelligible but Maura heard her name a few times. She moved to look at Jane, and placed her hand on a cheekbone, stroking softly. The soft skin under her fingers relaxed and Jane's eyes opened slowly. Blinking a few times, Jane's eyes were still unfocused- most likely a result of the concussion from the concrete. _

_She moved her head to the side and made the best eye contact she could with Maura. The classic Rizzoli smile appeared with her sidekick dimples in tow. Jane mouthed something quietly and Maura moved in further- Jane's voice was barely a whisper, making Maura shiver at the deep voice_

_"Marry me, pretty girl" Maura just laughed at Jane's medically induced word spew. She just covered Jane's hands and shook her head. _

_"Wait- we aren't together?" Jane asked, looking crestfallen at the sad truth. Maura shook her head and blushed, who would want to date an introverted socially awkward middle aged doctor who loved dead people more than live ones?_

"I do." Jane answered her question-which Maura hadn't realized she'd said aloud. "I do Maura. Let's-" chocolate eyes closed after the rush of morphine entered her body.

_**"**_I wanna hear the story 'bout the birthday party next:" the little boy said, snuggling into Maura's chest, playing with a lock of her honey blonde hair.

"Of course you do, baby boy. You're trying to make me cry, huh?" the doctor giggled, knowing that she would be in tears after this story-it was her favorite

"Well, your Mama kept saying that she didn't want anyone to celebrate her birthday but, I knew she loved it when we all got together and just hung out." Maura started "She talked for weeks about how she just wanted us to have a romantic night out; we hadn't had one in the whole year we had been dating- life just kept getting in the way. We had quite the scare earlier in the day, another bully had tried to hurt me. But, Jane saved me again" Maura shivered at the thought of the day Charles Hoyt had made his final appearance.

_"Hey, Maur- I don't know why you aren't answering" Jane said into her phone, leaving her girlfriend a message. She felt the ring in her pocket and beamed- she was so grateful that it didn't get lost during the scuffle earlier today. If Hoyt's final goodbye was ruining her plans for tonight, he had sure failed. Nothing was gonna-_

_"SURPRISE" Jane dropped the phone on the ground, the battery and case popping off the back. She felt fear jolt through her until she spotted Maura, holding a beer, at the breakfast bar. Tears sprung into her eyes and she saw all the people she cared about most, all gathered in her little kitchen, using all of her clean plates, and looking at her with so much love. It was too much, really._

_Jane was quiet with emotion, so she walked over to Maura and kissed her softly. It still made her heart leap to see this gorgeous woman and know that she was hers. She smiled warmly at her guests, feeling the panic creep into her chest. She held up one finger, signaling that she was borrowing her girlfriend for a minute. _

_They went into Jane's dark bedroom and they sat down on the bed. Maura was rubbing circles on Jane's back, lips pressed to her ear. _

_"I love you Jane, you're here-in your house. There are people out there who love you, okay? No one here is gonna hur-"_

_"Marry me Maura." Jane whispered, kissing Maura's cheek. She watched as Maura's face morphed into something she couldn't read. _

_"It seems that when you're in a bit of a bind, you just ask me to marry you" the blonde said sadly. Jane laughed- a real, hearty laugh that made the folks in the kitchen relax. _

_"No Maur-I'm not referring to the hospital question. I'm really asking you, so-"Jane got down on one knee. The moonlight pouring through the window made the diamond in her hand sparkle. _

_"Hey pretty girl, will you marry me?" Maura burst into tears and pounced on Jane, knocking them both to the ground. She peppered the detective's face with kisses, and smiled harder than she ever had before. Someone wanted her-forever. _

_"Yes, my big bad detective, I will marry you. Let's get you out of those clothes and into something comfier. I feel like your family isn't going to leave for a while." Maura said through her tears. _

So, that's why Mama told me I can't ever have a suh-prize party?" Jay said, taking extra time to sound out the big word. He loved seeing his Mom light up when he said big words. So, he tried his best to do it whenever he could.

"Yes dear, that's why." Maura's voice broke; she almost got emotional around this bit of the story. They had been married for six years, and she still couldn't believe that she had a place in someone's life.

"Then I came!" Jay perked up "But, did you get married first?"

Maura grimaced and their choice to get married while she was seven months pregnant. She had felt like a swollen cotton ball the entire time. They had a bridal and baby shower at the same time; Angela was over the moon.

_"Oh my God Maura, you look so beautiful" Angela cried and walked up to her soon-to-be daughter-in-law, placing a hand on either one of her rosy cheeks. The Mother of the Bride brushed her thumbs against Maura's cheekbones. With a small kiss on the cheek, Angela left the room in the church to go stand at her place in line. _

_Maura waited for a few minutes, playing with the tulle of her veil. She was so self-conscious in her third trimester. She felt ugly and swollen, and she was constantly knocking things over. She rubbed her stomach affectionately; she did love this baby more than anything else. So, it was worth it. _

_A few minutes later, Frankie rapped on the door, looking dashing in his traditional penguin suit. His eyes sparkled with excitement (and maybe a little bit of emotion) as Maura stood awkwardly, slipping her heels on. She was stubborn about what she would wear, baby be damned. _

_They linked arms and Frankie stared at his sister-in-law lovingly. There was no better match for his sister, Maura Isles was perfect. She would fit right in, even if she didn't want to change her name. That fact in itself made everyone realize just how equal of a partnership this was. _

_They got to the double doors, waiting for their signal. When the bridal march started, Maura chose her steps carefully. Her eyes welled up looking at everyone in this church; she never realized how many people she had gained in her life because of Jane Rizzoli. Her parents were absent, their part of the pews being occupied by Detective Frost and Sergeant Korsak. The symbolism behind it made the blonde's throat tighten with emotion. As they slowly descended down the aisle, Maura got a good look at Jane- who refused to turn around until Maura was in front of her. _

_Jane was radiant, like an Angel from Heaven in Maura's once lonely life. She also wore a white dress and veil. Maura's dress was big and floated when she walked, Jane's was slimmer and shimmered when her long legs moved underneath it. Her dark waves spilled out under her veil, little wildflowers woven within her long locks. _

_When Maura reached the end; Frankie walked over to her side-next to Susie Chang, and Jane slowly turned around. _

_Jane's eyes widened in surprise while she took in the blushing bride in front of her; Maura looked gorgeous in her white dress, especially the bump that was very obvious. She was going to marry this woman- she was in shock. _

_Maura walked up opposite Jane and just stared into red-rimmed dark chocolate eyes. They were conveying so much love, that Maura just knew that she would be happy forever. _

"But, I came afterwards right?" Jay was lightly dozing against his mother, his hands still grasping Maura's hair. She knew that they only had a few more minutes until he was out like a light. So, Maura hoisted him on her hip and they slowly rocked across the waiting room. She murmured sweet things into his ear, hoping he would fall asleep soon. He had been up for far too long, and she didn't want him to be cranky when they finally got to see Jane.

"Sing da song Mom, sing Mama's song for you" Maura smiled at the fact that her son even remembered this. Maura started to slowly sing the song Jane sang to her every night when she came home.

**_Hey pretty girl, won't you look my way_**

**_Love's in the air tonight_**

**_You can bet you make this ol' boy's day_**

**_Hey pretty girl, won't you look my way_**

_Memories of Jane spinning her around the kitchen after dinner made Maura beam. They would put Jay to bed and start cleaning up from the day. Every night, Maura would start the dishes and Jane would walk up behind her and thread her arms around her waist. They would sway back and forth while Maura finished the dishes, and Jane would sing this song into her ear. _

**Hey pretty girl, can I have this dance**

**And the next one after that**

**Gonna make you mine there's a real good chance**

**Hey pretty girl, can I have this dance**

_She would dry her hands and turn around, kissing her wife soundly. They would dance slowly around the kitchen, reliving their first dance at their wedding. Jane would just look at Maura with such admiration, that sometimes the M.E. was convinced that she was dreaming. _

**Hey pretty girl, it feels so right**

**Just like it's meant to be**

**All wrapped up in my arms so tight**

**Hey pretty girl, it feels so right**

_They would finish their dance and Jane would shut off the lights while Maura would make them a spot on the couch. They sat across from each other-sometimes talking about their days, sometimes just smiling at each other._

**Life's a long and winding ride**

**Better have the right one by your side**

**And happiness don't drag its feet**

**Time moves faster than you think**

_Tonight though, Jane did something different: she stood up and kissed her wife, making her way towards their bedroom and emerging with a book. She sat down in front of her wife, opening the yellow and pink scrapbook. Inside were pictures of Jay: starting with a photo of the positive pregnancy test. Jane shot Maura a watery smile, she was so lucky to have a family like this. _

_"Jane, when did you-" Maura was shushed by Jane's lips on hers. She continued to flip the pages, showing photos from all the firsts. There were all kinds of trinkets taped to the pages as well. This was a well thought out thing for the busy detective to do. _

_Maura got to the last page, where a paper lunch bag was taped. The bag said TBC- Maura had no idea why, maybe Jane had run out of pages. She opened the bag and burst into tears. Inside was a pregnancy test, with two blue lines right down the middle. Maura looked up at Jane and just smiled. _

_"I love you Jane"_

_"I love you too Maura"_

**Hey pretty girl, wanna take you home**

**My momma's gonna love you**

**She'll make me sleep on the couch, I know**

**Hey pretty girl, wanna take you home**

_Maura slinked up to Jane and kissed her hard, sucking on her bottom lip. She heard a little gasp and continued to kiss her wife. What a wondrous surprise- they were going to have another child. Jane pulled Maura to her and they slowly stood up and walked off towards the bedroom to celebrate this news. _

**Hey pretty girl, let's build some dreams**

**And a house on a piece of land**

**We'll plant some roots and some apple trees**

**Hey pretty girl, let's build some dreams**

_Hours later found them under the covers of their bed. Maura was rubbing slow circles on Jane's bare stomach, envisioning how the flat stomach would soon stretch and swell to accommodate their newest edition. Jane had an arm under the nude form of her wife-she was caressing her back, drawing shapes and writing love poems on the pale skin. They didn't need words, their shiny eyes and beating hearts conveyed all the messages that words could not. _

**Hey pretty girl, let's build some dreams**

**And a house on a piece of land**

**We'll plant some roots and some apple trees**

**Hey pretty girl, let's build some dreams**

Maura heard the little snores coming from her son. She saw the nurse wave to them, telling her that Jane would be seen now. She was careful not to wake her sleeping child and she slipped into the hospital room

**Hey pretty girl, you did so good**

**Our baby's got your eyes**

**And a fighter's heart like I knew she would**

**Hey pretty girl, you did so good**

"Hey pretty girl" Jane said quietly, taking note of her sleeping son in Maura's arms. The doctor quietly set her son next to Jane in the bed and took his shoes off. The last thing they needed was some blunt force trauma from a kicking child. Maura smiled at the bundle in Jane's arms, and her heart warmed. There was their daughter, Aurora Lucille Rizzoli, in all of her glory. She had a tuft of brown hair going every which way and she was beautiful. Her wife was beautiful, her whole life was beautiful.

**Hey pretty girl, when I see the light**

**And it's my time to go**

**I'm gonna thank the Lord for a real good life**

**A pretty little girl and a beautiful wife**


	28. Idina Menzel - Let It Go

Maura rubbed her gloved hands together furiously, mostly because she was nervous and that's what she did to avoid fainting. She shouldn't be here- she wasn't welcomed. But, she needed answers, and she did not want to wait. Little snowflakes swirled around, making the neighborhood look like powdered sugar.

She stalked up the driveway to the simple two-story house and paused in front of the wooden door- did she really want to do this? The heated argument they had last night hand ended with a door slam and Maura breaking down. She took a shuddering breath and knocked, foregoing the doorbell.

A face peeked through the glass, and the door was thrown open. A furious looking Hope Martin stood with one hand on her scrub-clad hip. Her facial expression was unreadable, and that threw Maura off her game.

"Hello Hope, I actually came here to-" Maura was interrupted by her mother.

"I thought I told you to leave me...us...alone? You are not my daughter- she died 35 years ago! You are just a freeloader sent by Paddy to-"

"No!" Maura scared herself with the ferocity of her voice, "I am not, by any means, coming for Paddy. He can rot in prison for all that I care! I came to apologize for springing my information on you at an inopportune time. I should have wr-"

"You should have left us alone. That's what you should have done, Doctor Isles" Hope said, emphasizing the formal title. She went to shut the door, when Maura grabbed onto the wood and held it still for just a moment.

"I will stand out here until you talk to me, Hope. I know that you know-deep down- that I'm correct." Maura stood stubbornly as the older woman just shut her door in her face.

"OH YEAH? WELL, THE COLD NEVER BOTHERED ME ANYWAY!' Maura screamed at the door.

A few seconds later, a sullen Hope opened the door and ushered her daughter into the house. They needed to talk.


	29. Pink - Just Give Me a Reason

Jane jerked her head at the sound of sobbing and shouting. She put her hand over her service weapon out of habit and ran around the hallways of the darkened school. It was only Jane's luck that something would happen on the way to the restroom. She started sprinting the direction that she had just come, her daughter was the auditorium on the on the other side of the school.

After barreling through the cafeteria, and down two miniature flights of stairs, Jane arrived back in the gymnasium which doubled over as an auditorium. She peeked into the door, and saw that people were still watching the children sing on the stage-seemingly normal. Where had the voices come from? She opened the door wider and quietly tiptoed past the rows of metal chairs and ducked under video recorders. She checked her watch, there was still 10 minutes before Lucy was on stage. She emerged in one piece in the back of the gym and walked out the back door, towards the small children's wing. There, in a beautiful dress and gorgeous coat, was Maura Isles. The only issue was Maura's face was covered in tears as she was being berated by Angela.

"You just left, Maura! You don't get to waltz back in and just ask to see your daughter! The same daughter you left three years ago! My Janie still wears her wedding ring, you know that?" Angela was bright red with fury. She pointed a finger threatening at Maura and just walked past her, slamming the doors to the gym.

Jane just stood there slack-jawed. She hadn't seen her wife in almost three years and here she was, at their daughter's Christmas pageant? Multiple questions overloaded the detective's head as she stared at her wife's trembling form.

"M-Maura?" Jane stammered.

Maura whipped around and tried to brush the tears from her face. She looked down towards the ground and waiting for Jane to lay into her like her mother had just done.

"I just wanted to see Lucy sing, I didn't know you would be here Jane" Maura whispered.

"Why did you leave Maur?" Jane cried. The sadness and anger that she'd buried all these years came oozing back into her thoughts. She took a step back from her wife and just glared.

"Paddy..Paddy told me that Patrick Senior would have you and Lu killed if I stayed. He didn't like the fact that I was running around with a Detective. So, I left to protect my family. I check in on you guys all the time, and it fucking hurts Jane. I see you guys all the time out and about. I want to be happy with you again Jane- I love you so much. I just can't come back b-"

"Maura, Patrick Senior had been dead for a year- he died of a heart attack. Serves the old bastard right. Didn't anyone tell you?" Jane asked incredulously.

"I-I had no idea Jane- I was just trying to protect you guys. I could have been home a year ago?" the blonde cried, looking defeated. Finally she took her keys out, turning towards the door.

"I should go Jane, I don't want Lu to see me here like this." Maura turned to leave until she felt a tug on her arm. "Just email me the photos"

"No Maur-we can talk about this later. We can ever go to dinner- but now, your daughter is gonna sing in her first school pageant, and I want her mothers to see it, okay?

Maura sniffled and nodded, letting the brunette lead her back into the auditorium.


	30. RENT - I'll Cover You

The sound of metal grinding on itself make Maura startle awake. She rubbed her eyes with her dirty gloved hands, grimacing as grime and dirt was left behind. Based upon the sway of her surroundings and the warm body she was sleeping on-she assumed that she was on the subway with Jane. She looked up at her girlfriend and smiled, the tough street kid was sleeping on the ugly blue seat and drooling on herself.

Maura tapped Jane lightly whispering her name softly to not scare her awake. Jane had been on the street a lot longer than she had- that environment had made her pounce like an angry tiger when she was snuck up on. The long brown waves tickled Maura's face while Jane slowly roused. Maura played with her hair until her love was lucid and smiled down at her lovingly.

"What'd you dream about Jane?" Maura asked, burrowing her blonde hair further into Jane's warm lap. They'd have to get off soon- the nice driver only let them sit inside during non peak hours.

"I dreamed that we had a house on Beacon Hill, Maur. I was a cop, and you were a doctor.

We were married, and we were sitting on our couch looking through our wedding album" Jane said defiantly- she was determined to get out of the street life and start a family.

"That's so sweet Jane, maybe your interview will go well next week. I think that since you helped find that missing child, you've already got your foot in the door" Maura said, noticing that the subway was coming to a stop.

They jumped up and smoothed out their ratty clothes, reveling in the heat of the slowing car. They nodded appreciatively at the driver, who in turn tipped his hat to them. As soon as the cold air blew into the cabin, they walked out and tried to find someplace to eat. They stopped and saw a man with clothes even worse than theirs, with a little puppy next to him. He had no coat or hat, he sat and shivered in a tshirt and ratty pants. His dog was sleeping in his lap- a half eaten bone next to them. He looked at them with his sad, dull eyes and just smiled a sad, knowing smile. They were about to walk past him when Maura turned around quickly and handed him her last $5 and her gloves. She knew that she was younger and more resilient to the elements than he was. His eyes sparkled with tears and he took her hands, placing something into it and curling her hands closed.

She smiled and walked away, knowing that he would probably not survive the harsh Boston winter. When the got around the corner Maura opened her hand and gasped- in her dirty hand was a black pearl ring, surrounded by little diamonds. She couldn't accept this- she turned around to run back to the man, only to find that he had left.

Jane opened Maura's hand and inspected the ring. She judged they could get about $300 for it. That would get them the first month's rent on a studio. Maura looked at her and started to cry.

"Where did this come from- was it his wife's" She was sobbing now. The brunette wrapped her in a bundle in the same place the man had just been.

* * *

><p>"Maura Isles, we've been to hell and back and we've seen it all. We started with nothing and we are working our way towards everything. Five years ago, we were starving on the corner and now we're celebrating our lives. So, will you do me the honor of being my wife?"<p>

Maura wiped at her eyes, careful to not smear her makeup. She gasped and fresh tears fell when she realized that Jane was holding the ring that man had given her all those years ago. She just assumed that Jane had sold it, but this was something she had never expected. She jumped into Jane's arms and whispered a "yes" before kissing her fiance soundly.


	31. Chely Wright - Your Shirt

Maura played the voicemail once more, reveling in the husky voice of her lover. There was just something about the raspy drawl of Jane Rizzoli that made Maura just melt inside. She bit her lip softly, and a smile slowly spread over her face. Maura Isles was definitely head-over-heels in love with Jane. She felt like a teenager getting a note in their locker- a refreshing burst of happiness in her seemingly drab life.

Hey Maura, Korsak and Frost are taking me out for my birthday. I'll be home late a-and don't laugh but..I love you. I know we've only just made it official but I honestly think I am in love with you Maura Isles. Oh- shit- the guys are coming back, Frankie is gonna drive me home around 2. So, don't worry your pretty little head sweet thing- I'm safe. Bye Maura.

The blonde felt two decades younger right now: she was dancing around the living room of Jane' apartment (where she was waiting with a surprise of her own) in one of the detective's button down shirts and long tube socks. She actually felt like that kid from the movie about business or whatever. She thrashed about, making her blonde coiffed hair go every which way. A half empty (or half full) bottle of wine was becoming her microphone as she sang cheesy love songs to Jo Friday.

After another spontaneous dance party, Maura collapsed onto the couch and made a note of how sexy she felt in one of Jane's shirts. She bunched it up and inhaled deeply- the musky scent of a sweaty Jane mixed with a hint of cologne made Maura's hormones soar. She was so in love with this woman that she was almost sure she's had taken a substance or something of the sort.

She was feeling the wine rather quickly- she had been jumping around like a child earlier. She hatched a plan, a very devious plan for her lover.

* * *

><p>Jane was about seven shots past tipsy and was quickly approaching hammered when her phone vibrated. She whipped it out of its' holster- nearly throwing it into Frost's pint, and opened her messages. She had a picture message from Ma-<p>

woah.

There, on her phone screen, was a self-shot of Maura biting her lip-hair tousled and wavy, sitting cross legged on her couch. She was obviously only wearing one of Jane's shirts- judging by the expanse of silken thigh and teasing bit of cleavage on display. She saved the picture and deleted the message-fumbling through the many options on the touch screen. Finally, after leading herself in a touch-screen circle, Jane just mashed the home button down and hoped that did the trick. The drunken brunette snapped a photo of her and Frost one arm hugging each other and sent it back.

* * *

><p>When Maura received the photo of Jane and Frost she laughed out loud, there was quite the array of empty glasses on the bar in front of them and it was fairly obvious that they were plastered. With a sudden burst of alcohol-induced confidence, Maura unbuttoned all of the buttons on the shirt and strategically aimed the camera. She didn't want to send anything she would be ashamed of in the morning- but she wanted Jane to realize what she had waiting at her home. Plus, it made the blonde feel very sexy.<p>

She hit the send button, and prayed that no one at the bar would see that one. It wasn't that she was ashamed but, she worked with these folks and their work relationship was one that she strived to keep positive and untarnished. She found her head becoming fuzzy, and almost instantly Maura fell asleep on Jane's couch.

* * *

><p>Jane was swaying on her feet outside the bar when she felt her phone buzz again. She stopped their group while walking so she didn't topple over trying to work the cellular device. When she finally (after the third time) got the phone to unlock and the picture to load she audibly gasped.<p>

There was another shot of Maura, with all of the buttons on Jane's shirt undone. You could see from the collar of her delicious neck all the way down to her black panties underneath. The shirt was only opened a bit- just enough to show Jane that some undergarments were only optional. In the space between Maura's thighs sat a cozy looking Jo Friday. She needed to get home-now.

When she finally sauntered into her apartment-ready to receive her last present, she saw a heartwarming sight: Maura had nodded off in Jane's shirt- still bunched up around her nose. Jo was cuddled on Maura's lap, snoring softly and making the shirt waver slightly. Jane picked up Maura ( and Jo by proxy) and walked them to her bedroom. She deposited the two on her bed and slowly undressed for bed. When she eventually snuggled into bed next to Maura- she realized that she had celebrated the perfect birthday and they could only get better from here.


	32. Foundations - Build Me Up Buttercup

slighty nsfw, but not too bad. song suggested by jjrizzles 

Maura groaned as she felt the teasing hands of her lover trace patterns on her sweaty skin. She bucked and twitched, writhing under the magic that was Jane Rizzoli's hands. The olive-skinned palms hovered over her sensitive parts, watching as goosebumps rose to her touch. Black locks tickled her ribs and danced over sensitive breasts, making Maura teeter on the edge.

The blonde made eye contact with Jane as she dipped down and left a trail of wet kisses across her torso. Her tongue swirled around her navel as she drug her fingertips down the sides of Maura's trembling body. Maura had never been more turned on in her life. Jane moved Maura's hands to above her head on the pillow and held them there. With Maura's hand held captive literally, Jane brushed her lips down Maura's neck and over her throat. Taking a moment to capture the blonde's lips in a loving, but fiery kiss.

"I love you Maura- do you trust me?" Jane rasped, letting go of her hands and rubbing Maura's wrists to soothe the pressure.

Maura just nodded and bit her lip, Jane's slow but steady thrusting of her hips was driving her crazy. Noticing that Maura was getting antsy, she decided to speed things up.

Jane ran her fingertips lightly over Maura's chest, eventually making their way down her body. When she reached the blonde's hips, Jane grasped them and pushed Maura down into the bed- stilling her thrusts. Maura was now crying she was so close, she wanted to let go. But, their game was not over yet.

"Jane" Maura whimpered "Please Jane?"

"What Maura, what?" Jane asked, looking at Maura from between her legs.

"Can I come?"


	33. Melissa Manchester - Don't Cry Out Loud

I can't breathe.

Okay, Maura you've got this.

Inhale.

Exhale.

I can't breathe and I'm going to pass out soon if I don't get out of here. I fake a smile for Angela and nod toward her- she understands what is happening and asks if I can help her with something. I brush past her into the stockroom of the Division One Cafe. As soon I feel the door whoosh behind me, I explode.

I'm crying so hard that I can't even speak. My throat is raw from holding in these sobs and I'm sure that I've broken blood vessels in my eyes. I need to get this aggression out so I punch a sack of flour as hard as I can- hearing my bones protest with a crunch. I would scream out in pain, but I still cannot make a sound. If I don't control my silent sobbing soon, I'll sure pass out.

She just had to show me her ring- the final symbol of her love for that arrogant man. I've been battling this emotional rollercoaster for months; she just doesn't understand what she's doing to me. Every time she speaks of her lackluster future that she is settling for- a piece of me breaks. This was the final straw; I cannot keep dealing with this.

My throat finally unclenches and I suck in a deep breathe to keep me alive. But, as soon as I've exhaled again, I make the mistake of loudly sobbing. Jane is sure to hear me now.

Frantically searching for a spot to disappear, I end up taking purchase on a bucket of pickles in the corner. Now, I was crying so hard that I was hyperventilating quietly. My makeup was probably ruined- I don't even care. Who am I even impressing anyways? My whole façade is for nothing- I am accepted in society, but never welcomed. I was about to lose the only family I've ever had considering my own family didn't want anything to do with me.

Maura darling- pick up the phone. I know that you have some sort of 'anxiety' over answering before the machine picks up but I have news! Your father and I decided that we are going to Europe permanently. Your childhood things are being shipped to you but I need your address again. Also, I would like to see you before we leave but it seems my schedule is a bit tight, pet. I shall call you again and confirm you've received this message- if you'd ever pick up the telephone. Au Revoir.

Maura, hey. It's Jane...well you probably already knew that. Anyways I know that we were supposed to go shopping tomorrow but Casey got called back early so I'm going to go golfing with him and his buddies. You know that I'll be bored out of my mind, so you can live text me the details of your shopping extravaganza. Bye Maur- I guess I'll call you later or something.

Dr. Isles? It's Casey Jones. I saw that you were texting Jane about how bored she was; she had me hold her phone while she took her turn. I appreciate you keeping her company while I was gone, but you needn't smother her, okay? She knows that you don't like me and to be honest- I'm not very fond of you either. But, I guess since we're getting married- you and I will just have to make it work.

That was the voicemail that had started it all- Jane hadn't even said "yes" yet and Casey was already making it known that he had proposed. My heart was shredded into billions of pieces; I thought Jane was hiding the proposal from me. Did she know that I loved her- was she trying to spare me the pain? It took three weeks for her to finally tell me and how did she do it? She waved her ring in my face, in public might I add, and expect me to suddenly be okay with this? No.

If this hurt so much, what would the wedding be like? The thought of Jane being her gorgeous self in a wedding dress made me hurt inside. The thought of her marrying someone other than myself made me want to run into traffic.

I had my head buried into my hands. My knees were drawn up- I probably looked like a toddler throwing a tantrum. I was so deep into my pity that I didn't hear anyone come into the stockroom. I felt two warm arms wrap themselves around me. I refused to look up, not wanting her to see me this broken. She didn't need to see what she'd reduced me to.

Jane rubbed my back and kissed my head, only making me cry harder. I was struggling to breathe and I'm sure my shirt was ruined. I could no longer see, and my eyes stung. I was shaking so violently that apparently Jane was worried. She picked me up and laid me down on the floor of the room, holding my back up. I stopped breathing for almost thirty seconds and my vision was dimming when she kissed me.

I was so stunned that I just stopped.

I stopped crying

I stopped wailing.

I stopped thinking.

I just...stopped.

"Maura, I didn't think you would be so upset by this. I'm sorry- what did I do? " Jane asked, her own voice showing just how scared she was.

I didn't know what to say so I just muttered "You settled".

She stared into my red eyes like I had just slapped her in the face. After a minute her features softened into an almost sympathetic expression. She cupped my tear stained cheeks and laid a kiss on my nose. She stood up and brushed off her pants, I now realized why perpetrators were so intimidated by Detective Jane Rizzoli at her full height.

"Okay Maur- this is a serious talk that needs to happen, alright? I'm going to go tell Cavanaugh that I need the rest of the day off and you are going to drive to your house and take a hot bath. I will be at your house in about an hour with wine and chinese food to talk about how you fell in love with Casey."

All I could do was gape at her like she was a three headed toad, what kind of imbec-

"It's a joke Maura" Jane chided softly.

I'll have to admit- it got me to smile. She helped me up and we walked out of the stock room. If she could joke about something like this, maybe things would turn out okay.

Maybe.


	34. Tim McGraw - Don't Take the Girl

Sirens wailed like screaming mothers in a fit of sorrow, drowning out all other conversation in the commons. Ambulances and fire trucks sped down the streets, taking sharp corners as they rushed to a scene. A crowd of crying patrons gathered around a police barricade staring at the accident in front of them. Traffic had stopped for miles but no one complained at all- they knew what had happened. It was an overcast day in Boston; symbolic in more ways than one.

Maura hated these types of scenes- the ones involving children. She hated to see such a little life cut short because of someone's carelessness. Children were a beacon of light and innocence. Maura secretly had a soft spot for kids since she had none of her own. She liked to consider herself a mother for their souls once they body was dead. She did not believe in an afterlife or anything similar- but sometimes she wished that she could, just for children.

Her blue prius came to a stop near the mass of people and she took a few breaths to settle herself. Given the nature of this accident, Maura became Dr. Isles and tried her best to suppress her personal feelings. She took her keys and phone and threw them into her field bag, making sure to pull out a pair of gloves before zipping the bag shut. She sat for a few more moments before exiting her vehicle and smoothing out her attire. With a quick hip check her door was closed and she was ready to go.

* * *

><p>Jane Rizzoli sighed- she fucking hated it when she had to take kids. She knew that this one was gonna be messy. She wasn't even 50 feet away and she already saw blood- not a good sign. Well, it was never a good sign when she was here. Her boss knew that she had a strong stomach from her previous jobs so she generally took the messier cases. Finally she brushed through the crowd of solemn looking bystanders. Well, it was more out of habit than necessity- she really didn't take up much space in a crowd.<p>

Well, this was fucking heartbreaking; the kid still had a pacifier in it's mouth. She walked under the tape (once again out of habit) and knelt over the body. She threw a glance to the right and saw the owner of the car hunched over, crying in the back of an ambulance. She could feel him begging to be taken instead of the boy. Too bad it didn't work that way. Most people who tried to claim they wish it had happened to them instead were secretly full of shit. They knew that they were safe, so they made themselves feel better by saying they'd much rather they die instead.

She grabbed the cold hand of the boy and rubbed her thumb lovingly over the scraped little knuckles. She need to coax him awake; kids didn't tend to enjoy being woken up. But, they were running out of time. Jane leaned over and placed a small kiss to his forehead, whispering soothing phrases. She really hated it when it was kids. She suddenly felt a burst of empathy from somewhere nearby and gasped. Very rarely did she feel someone truly sad and willing to help at a scene like this. She searched the crowd and saw what she assumed was the Medical Examiner. She was cute with her blonde hair and ladylike curves. It was times like this Jane wished she was alive.

* * *

><p>Maura flinched when she saw just how young the boy was. Based upon height he seemed only about three years old. Her heart physically hurt to process such a sad scene. She knelt down beside the boy and took a moment to silently tell him she was there for him. The lack of parents at this crime scene was unsettling at best. With a quick once-over she predetermined that not much could be done here. Dr. Isles motioned towards her crew that the body could be moved. Once everyone had cleared the way, and the only two people left was her and the boy, Maura said a few words of peace to him.<p>

"I know it might have been scary baby boy, but I'll make sure that you're well taken care of. No one is gonna hurt you okay sweet thing? If no one ever loved you- just know that I do, okay? I love you and I'm sorry to see you go but I hope wherever you go is better than this horrible place. You could have done so many things with your life, and I only hope that you reach your full potential somewhere." Maura used her wrist to dab at her watery eyes and blew a sweet kiss at the little body in the street. With a heavy heart, she stood up and tried to calm her nerves before speaking to the crew who was watching her carefully. She really didn't care if they thought she was crazy; everyone else already whispered about her whenever she walked by.

"Please take him back to the morgue and tell Dr. Pike that I will take care of this one myself" Maura said with a curt nod. Before anyone could answer, she had turned on her heel and was on her way back to her car.

* * *

><p>Jane wiped a stray tear from her cheek angrily. She wasn't supposed to get involved with these cases so personally but the words the woman had said just were so pure and sweet. Never had Jane heard someone talk to a corpse so tender and looked down at the boy and said his name in a final attempt to rouse him.<p>

"Lucas, darling. Come on, it's time to go!" Jane tried her best to sound joyful. Kids picked up on her voice more than anything else. So, she needed to make it sound like what was about to happen was more exciting than fucking terrifying. His little eyes opened and he looked around. He didn't recognize his surroundings and started to cry. He reached his arms out towards Jane, who picked him up and out of his physical body and settled him onto her hip. The little blonde curls brushed Jane's chin as the little boy buried himself into her. She rocked him back and forth, making her way out of the scene and back towards the alleyway.

He looked at her with big scared blue eyes and a bruised face. Jane lovingly kissed his nose and nuzzled him. They were almost to the shop and she wanted to keep him calm. If he started to fuss, Jane's headache would come back. Who knew that the dead could get headaches?

Finally, after a silent 5 minutes, Jane finally walked up to the storefront. It was an abandoned store that was boarded up. It looked like it hadn't seen a patron since the early 90's which could very well have been true. Jane shifted the boy slightly and knocked on the glass in front- signalling that she was coming in with the boy. Normally she just waltzed right in but with children they tried to keep all things of a grim nature of of their line of vision.

She heard a knock back and walked right through the glass, giggling as the little boy's eyes widened in excitement. She set him down next to Jo Friday- the resident little dog at their shop. Jo sniffed at the boy and deemed him fit to play with, soon barking and licking the child's face.

Jane looked over at her boss and nodded.

"It was gruesome, boss. I don't know if I can do anymore today okay? I'll be back tomorrow morning- if that's okay?" Jane asked, rubbing her temples. Being a Reaper was emotionally draining, but it's what she had chosen to do. She had been in a shooting years ago in the Boston Police Department building that had taken almost 20 people- five people from her squad and her brother, Frankie.

"Okay Rizzoli, but under one condition- got it? Go home- don't go hang out in the graveyard okay? It's depressing. I'll have Frankie take this kid.."

"Lucas", Jane finished for him- handing over the folder on the kid.

"Yeah, go home and sleep" Cavanaugh chuckled, the dead didn't sleep. Even when they were alive Rizzoli never slept. It was like telling a stubborn toddler it was bath time.

Rizzoli flipped him the bird and winked, turning around to leave. She stopped to pat Lucas on the back and kiss his head. Soon he will be a Reaper like her- they needed more children in the business. He had been a joy to reap but some kids just didn't take well to adults telling them what to do- even after their lives were over. So, they tried to get children to talk to other kids- it just seemed to work better. Frost and Korsak were probably in the back arranging a room for him. He looked up at her and smiled. Good, he felt safe here. She rubbed his back again and turned to leave. She did have an idea on where to go.

* * *

><p>Dr. Isles slipped off her latex gloves and just looked at the tiny body in front of her. She hoped with everything she had that this boy hadn't felt any pain, getting hit by a car was more than likely terrifying. She finished her notes and flipped off the tape recorder for this session. Her tools were already in the sanitizer and she only had to clean up her table before she went home. Something made her stop though. She set her hand on the arm of the cold boy and sighed- it was gonna take a long while to get over this one. But, she didn't trust anyone else in the morgue to handle him with the respect he deserved. Her hands rubbed comforting circles on the boy's skin- hopefully soothing his baby soul. She knew she was breaking policy, but she couldn't help but place a few timid kisses on his forehead. No one had come to identify the body- the state would only hold him for 30 days. If no one claimed him by then, Maura would have him buried in the plots she reserved for herself and a partner. Considering the brilliant doctor had been alone all of her life, she assumed that spot would go untouched forever. So, why not give it to someone deserving?<p>

She moved him onto his shelf and bid him goodnight. Maura looked around nervously and began to sing him a lullaby:

"Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, Too-ra-loo-ra-li,

Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, Hush now don't you cry

Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, Too-ra-loo-ra-li,

Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, That's an Irish lul-la-by"

Everyone needed to be sung to sleep at least once in their life, and Maura was just making sure that he had the experience even just once.

"Goodnight sweet baby Lucas, you'll find peace some day" Maura shut the door and went about wiping down her area. Little did she know that there was Jane Rizzoli, sobbing in the corner of the morgue knowing that little Lucas was loved and taken care of. The fact that this woman cared for the dead so earnest and wholly made Jane swoon. She needed to be careful, she could see herself falling in love with this beautiful and caring woman. 

* * *

><p>Jane spend the next few days trailing the M.E. She was surprised when she found that the woman truly cared for every single case she was handed. The sheer passion and innocence in which she talked to the dead- reassuring them that their families were okay, was heartbreaking and inspiring. Maura couldn't have known just how much she was affecting those souls in a positive way. Soon after Jane established a routine around the doctor, she realized that she had done the unthinkable- she had fallen in love with the living.<p>

She decided that she needed to distance herself from the gorgeous woman so she did the next best thing- she went to the graveyard.

It was cold and dark- probably about 2 in the morning. She wandered up the rocky trail with her hands in her pockets and hood over her black waves. After taking the long ways to her spot, Jane finally made it her to favorite place to think: her very own grave. After a quick visual inspection she relaxed, her grave looked it always had: plain and unnoticed. The only people who usually visited were her mother and Rondo; but the homeless man only visited when he needed to confess to something he had done. Even after her death, Jane was still a point of solace for people. She sat on the tree near her grave and set her feet on the small cement slab. Frankie was buried next to her and Tommy was further down. But, Tommy had died years prior from drinking and driving- therefore he didn't get the opportunity to be a Reaper like her and Frankie had done. She was beginning to wonder if walking the Earth was as great as she had earlier anticipated all those years ago.

She still had her old gang: Frankie, Frost, Korsak, and Cavanaugh were some of the folks who didn't survive the siege. She honestly didn't know how any of them had died; it was an unwritten rule of sorts that you never talked about your death. Jane knew Frankie had died from taking a bullet while in a vest. Jane had shot herself to save the rest of BPD from being attacked by a dirty cop. The memories were blurry and faded over time but she still thought about it from time to time.

She needed a distraction from her moping. Dr. Isles popped into her mind. She really had fallen hard for this woman. Maura was a genuinely nice person- that other people just overlooked. It physically pained Jane that the doctor's kindness was frequently unnoticed. Jane would give anything in this world to just touch the soft skin of the blonde, or even just to be able to talk to her. But, this was the life that she chose and she needed to move on. She just sat at her plot until the sun was overhead. Finally, tired of her little pity session, Jane decided to go for a run. She looked down to see her in her running gear- which was really only for show because she didn't technically need any of it. Hell, she really didn't even need to breathe, but she did it anyways.

She stretched her non-existent muscles and started a light jog out of the cemetery and out around the lake. What she would give to feel water again- the cool burst against her hot skin was something she didn't even realize she longed for. She wove in between trees, only wishing she could throw leaves in the air again. She was weightless so she couldn't even hear them crunch beneath her. A few minutes later she burst onto a street and started to jog around the block. She saw families playing in the cool October afternoon and felt a yearning to do that. She'd never been the type to settle down but damn, she really missed living.

She stopped and looked around. Every house was decorated for Halloween. She missed the fun of that whole holiday. Nowadays, she only got called out twice as frequently on the day; people tended to be cruel during the night on Halloween. She spent another few hours walking around Boston until she felt the familiar pulling in her chest. She had a call, and it was apparently urgent. Normally she was just asked to come back to the office, but to be requested specifically- that either meant it was another fucking kid or it was too gruesome for Frost.

She knew to go a few miles to an apartment complex. So, Jane put on her game face and took off in a sprint. She didn't want the person's soul to die out before she got there. She jumped over dumpsters and homeless men trying to quicken her route before she remembered that she could literally walk through fucking buildings. "Come on Rizzoli" Jane thought to herself, she'd been doing this for almost a decade- she should know this basic stuff by now. She ran into traffic and up the four flights of stairs to studio roped off with the yellow crime scene tape. She ran through the door and into the dimly lit apartment. There were wine glasses on the table and a few sculptures decorating the place. The huddle of CSI's indicated that the body was in the shaft over in the corner, where the elevator was located. Jane peered over the edge and burst into tears.

There at the bottom of the dark shaft was Maura Isles, dead upon impact.

"No!" Jane said, did she really jump? She would go straight into the afterlife with no chance to choose her future. Why did she get called here for a jumper? She put a hand over her mouth to muffle the sobs that no one could actually hear. The sight of the woman she loved at the bottom of that put broke Jane's heart into pieces.

"Man it's a damn shame, she was a great M.E. That's what happens when you date crazy men, they throw you down a fucking elevator" one of the uniforms said to his buddy, shaking his head at the scene.

Jane gasped, had Maura been pushed? She needed to know. She jumped into the shaft and knelt down next to the gorgeous blonde. Jane put her hands on the soft skin of the doctor and shivered at the feel of it. All of the years she had under her belt couldn't prepare her for the sight in front of her. All the information and experience she had catalogued in her brain just fled. Her hands shook as she grabbed the broken fingers and whispered her name.

"Maura- Maura baby, honey? Can y-you open your eyes please? I need you to wake up. I need you to wake up for me okay? You are safe and loved, please" Jane pleaded towards the heavens for the blonde to wake. Jane placed kisses on her blonde hair and tried to jostle Maura awake. Her cries became almost feral when there was still no movement from the woman.

"Damnit Maura Isles, I fucking love you and you had better wa-"

"hmm?" Maura's eyes started to move under her lids and Jane let loose a victorious cry. She continued to rub the soft skin of the blonde, never wanting to stop. When her beautiful hazel eyes opened Jane exhaled a huge sigh of relief. She tugged on Maura's hand, eventually guiding her into a standing position.

"Who are you? Where am I?" Maura asked, jumping when she saw her broken and battered body next to her.

"I'm Jane Rizzoli, I'm your Reaper" Jane said sadly, she'd given this speech a few thousand times.

"Yo-you're Jane? There's a picture of you in the BPD lobby. You saved hundreds of people, you're a hero? I have to be dreaming- this isn't real" Maura closed her eyes and counted to ten. When she opened them, Jane was still standing there smiling sadly. Maura looked down once more and saw her body and suddenly she understood and accepted her fate.

Maura slowly looked towards Jane and grabbed onto her hand.

"What's going to happen to me? Am I going to be a Reaper too?" Maura asked quietly, looking quite vulnerable.

"Well, you say I've saved hundreds of people but, do you realize how many souls you've comforted during their passing? Each one of them heard what you had to say about them, and it it truly touched them all" Jane smiled down at the nervous blonde. Her expression turned to one of amazement as she realized that all her work was validated- purposeful even. Tears welled up in her eyes as she asked:

"Even Lucas? Did he hear me? Oh gosh I would love to see him if I could?" Maura's voice was nervous as she never realized meeting the dead was even possible.

"Yeah, you can. He's at home waiting for you, actually. Well, he's at home- he doesn't really know who you are. But as soon as he hears your voice, he'll know." Jane led them through the building and down the stairs.

When they go out onto the street, Jane explained to her what she did as a Reaper. Basically, she was an usher for souls. Maura seemed to accept this fate so long as she could see the child she loved as her own son. When they arrived at the building, Maura stopped them for a moment.

"Jane, did you really mean it though?"

"Did I mean what? Yeah, I really reap so-"

"No, do you really love me?" Maura whispered, turning red as she said those words out loud.

Jane blushed furiously and nodded, eyes downcast. She had forgotten that Maura could hear what she said to her.

"Yeah Maur, I do. I know it sounds bad, but I fell for you when I saw you talk to Lucas, Maura. You truly spoke for the dead and did whatever you could to pacify them. A soul like yours only comes around once in a lifetime, and I never thought that I would ever get to meet you" Jane admitted shyly.

Maura blushed and kissed Jane's cheek lightly, giggling when Jane managed to turn almost purple at the attention.

She lead them into the building, Maura stumbling slightly at the act of defying every scientific rule she knew. Immediately she spotted Lucas playing with a man in the corner of the building. Cavanaugh was his desk, smiling like the Chesire Cat. He knew that Maura had passed and correctly assumed Jane was the one for the job.

Silent tears trickled down Maura's face and she looked hopefully at Jane, who just nodded towards the small boy. Slowly Maura knelt down next to him and rubbed comforting circles on his back.

"Lucas? Do you remember me?" Maura said softly as the boy's eyes widened in recognition. He jumped up and hugged her neck, rubbing his cold nose into her dress. She burst into tears and she scooped up the boy, who seemed content to be in her grasp., She looked the lanky detective and realized that she had spent her entire life wishing a longing for a life she would not have until after life was over. `


	35. Birdy -The District Sleeps Alone Tonight

Jane Rizzoli stumbled up her apartment stairs, barely making up to the third floor. She stepped over the broken wood on the fourth step from the top and moved to step on the right side of the last one; it was nearly midnight and the shitty stairs in this shitty apartment complex were very loud. Her hamstrings ached as well as her shoulders. Today was a rough day at the academy and Jane was fucking beat.

_Only three more months Rizzoli, then you can take the test. You're so close to being everything you've ever dreamed of. Ma said she was proud of you last night when you swung by to get your mail. Hurry up these fuckin stairs Jane, you gotta be at work in like ten minutes. _

Jane put her key into her lock and kicked the bottom left corner- a trick she'd learned over the few years she stayed here. She flung her bag from the Academy onto her ratty brown plaid couch and ripped her shirt over her head, also throwing that onto the couch. She smelled herself and nearly gagged, she stunk from all those drills they had done earlier. With an unpleasant face, Jane sprayed some axe to mask her stench and tried to find the white button down she needed for work.

After upturning a few piles of clothing, Jane finally found a shirt and threw it on. She flattened what she could from the wrinkles and grabbed her lanyard off the table in her room. With one fluid motion, her wild hair was tamed into a ponytail. Her deep blue sweats were exchanged for khakis as she shot out the door. Glancing at her watch, she mentally praised herself- she was done with four minutes to spare.

She ran down the stairs and jumped the last few, cursing her actions once her beaten legs protested her landing. The store where she cashiered overnight was only down the block so she would be okay to walk.

The bright lights of the store make Jane grimace. She never understood why the store insisted on being so well lit when they were lucky to even get three customers all night. She strolled in the door with two minutes to spare and headed to the break room. She opened the heavy wooden door and laughed at all the dirty laminated signs on it. No one listened to a single one, especially her. If they cared so much about what she did at night, they shouldn't have given her an unsupervised position.

She grabbed her drawer and wandered to trust lane number 9. She had actually grown to love this shitty little station. Something about the light that never worked and the way the keyboard stuck when you hit "enter" to hard just made Jane feel at home. She quickly punched in and typed all of her employee info it. Then, just like every other weeknight, she flipped the switch as the light in the little box above her wavered- then stayed lit. Now she just had to wait for a customer. Jane bunkered down for another 8 hours of deep thinking. She had to wake up at 9 to get to the academy on time for roll call. That meant she could sleep on her break and for a half hour when she got home.

She spent the first hour flipping through a Cosmo magazine internally laughing at all of the ridiculous articles. If you had that much trouble getting it up well...Jane couldn't really talk. The last time she'd had sex with anyone, it was before she'd even moved into her current apartment.

Jane spent the next two hours trying to beat Frankie's score on Flappy Bird. She eventually got so angry that she lifted up her till and threw her phone underneath it, slamming the drawer shut in frustration. Her phone was almost dead anyways, like always. When was she supposed to charge it?

Hours three and four flew by while Jane did the Sudoku in the paper from three days ago that someone had left at her station. Finally, it was time for her break 4:00 a.m. She punched out and flipped the light to her lane off- making sure to set up the plastic sign that indicated that people could be checked out in the customer service area.

She pulled out a few single bills and grabbed a lunchable and chocolate milk- some things just became more perfect over time. She did a quick visual over the store and saw that it was empty. So, she broke open her milk, chugged it, and let loose a belch that would have her Ma yelling in her sleep. She wiped her mouth with her wrist, and continued over to the self checkout area.

_Come on Jane, don't pussy out now. You've only got 4 more hours until you're free. If you're lucky, Debbie will get here early and let you go at 6. Just don't complain about your feet and be nice to the old bitch. _

Jane's nightly pep talk seemed to work. She rang herself up and grabbed her change, throwing coins into a canister for some fundraiser and wadding up the bills and shoved them in her back pocket. She burst into the break room, realizing that her phone was still under her til- she would just have to guess when she came back.

_Looks like you're not getting that nap tonight, dumbass. _Jane simply was too sore and lazy to go fetch her dying phone anyways. She scarfed down her little pizzas out of habit. Growing up with two brothers and a Pop who acted like a teenage boy taught Jane and her Ma to eat quickly with no reserves, unless you want to go hungry and have your plate raided.

Her eyelids drooped and her head fell forward. Thank god she had the weekends off or she wouldn't make it much longer. She re-read all of the stupid OSHA signs on the walls and grunted with boredom. Finally, she assumed her break was up so she stood up and stretched. She threw her garbage in the bin that no one ever emptied and went pee before she clocked back in.

She washed her hands and dried them on her pants. Kicking the door open, Jane strolled back out into the store front and noticed nothing had changed. She punched back in and started the countdown until 8 a.m.

At about 5:45 a.m. she got her first customer. He was a regular, just coming through for a bag of powdered doughnuts and Gatorade. They exchanged the usual playful banter like they did every morning and he wished her a good day- a sentiment that she quickly returned. The old man patted her on the shoulder and then she was alone again.

She heard a tiny cough and looked up at the most gorgeous hazel eyes she'd ever seen. She forgot that she was supposed to be helping her customer. Jane just stared until the hazel eyes furrowed in confusion.

"Oh I'm sorry, I spaced out" Jane stammered, blushing red at her embarrassingly obvious staring.

"It's alright, it's quite early isn't it?" she even had a beautiful voice. Jane smiled at the belt, suddenly shy.

"Yeah, it's too early for anyone to be up. Why are you up so late?" Jane tried to make some conversation as she rang the woman up for her groceries. She noticed no ring on her finger, how could someone not have married this gorgeous woman yet?

"I'm afraid it's rather late than it is early for me. I'm doing one of my last rotations in med school. I usually work from 5 to 5 on weekdays. I'm Maura by the way, sorry to startle you" The blonde blushed as she stumbled over her apology. Why would this cashier want to know her name?

"Oh, I understand. I'm working the overnights here so I can go to the police academy. I'm trying to graduate early, I'm only 23 but normally people are 25 when they're done. I'm Jane...obviously." Jane pointed towards her name tag hanging on her lanyard.

"That's a long day Jane, when do you rest?" Maura asked very concerned for the brunette's health.

"I do between shifts and I sleep all weekend" Jane laughed off the blonde's question. "I work all night cause the Academy is expensive and I gotta pay rent"

Jane smiled as she rang up the last of her groceries, taking extra care to bag them neatly. She hit a few buttons and saw that Maura was using a card. She motioned towards the card reader and Maura did the little routine. After everything was processed, Jane handed Maura her receipt, while stifling a yawn. She blushed as she realized that she was contradicting what she had told the girl just a minute ago.

Maura just gave Jane a look that conveyed that she saw that sneaky yawn. She grabbed her bags and winked at Jane as she left.

"Make sure to get some sleep soon, Officer Jane, your eyes are too pretty to have rings around them." the blonde smiled and walked out the door.

Jane turned almost purple as she stared at the beauty who left. She heard a grumble and saw that the breakfast line had started. How was she going to make it the rest of her day now? After a few hours Jane let loose a "whoop!" as she punched out and ripped off her lanyard. She exited the break room and moved towards the front door. It was 8:05 and all she wanted to do was crash on her couch. She walked outside and the sunshine made her squint.

"Jane?" someone said her name but her eyes were still adjusting to the sunlight that she rarely saw. After a moment, she saw Maura in her scrubs holding out a coffee for her.

"I didn't know how you take your coffee but you seem like the type who will drink anything you're given. I just wanted to stop by and give you these before work. Maybe I'll see you tomorrow?" Maura handed her a card and her coffee. She shot Jane a smile and walked back towards her idling car. Damn, she had a nice car too. She looked down at the plain envelope and inside was a cheesy Hallmark card with a "thank you" scripted on the front. Inside were a Starbucks gift card and a small note.

"Next time coffee's on you. - Maura :) "

Jane beamed as she walked towards her apartment, whistling and laughing the whole way. It's crazy how something so simple could change your life so quickly.


	36. Parachute - Forever and Always

"Jane, just go! Get out!" Maura screamed at her wife, who was busy pacing around the crowded room- putting everyone on edge. Normally Maura loved the fact that Jane was a bundle of energy- it was endearing. But, she was just making everyone nervous with her paranoid mumbling and ridiculous questions. It's not like it was Jane's fault that she was nervous; everyone acted this way when they were expecting their first child.

The brunette just shot Maura a wounded look and walked out of the dimly lit room. She stomped down the hall in her running shoes, probably heading towards the café for some coffee. She needed to blow off steam and so long as she was pacing elsewhere, Maura was content for the time being. Maura blew up at her sweaty blonde bangs and whimpered, her contractions were only five minutes apart so they still had quite some time before their child came.

Jane rounded the corner of the maternity wing and marched over to one of the couches in the family waiting room. She was very hurt, how could her wife just kick her out of the room like that? She had stayed by her for everything. She had doted on the blonde for months on end, she even let them paint her child's room yellow. Was she really being that terrible? She seemed to recall some of Maura's not-so-great moments during pregnancy.

"Jane! Jane! I have a problem!" Maura had cried out, sounding terrified. Jane had just gotten home off of a 24 hour day and was almost asleep inside the door frame. The sound of her pregnant wife screaming, made her blood freeze and her heart stop. She bounded up the stairs, taking two at a time until she reached the landing in front of their room. Maura sat on the floor in tears, her eyes red-rimmed and her body shaking.

"Oh my god Maura, are you okay? What happened?" Jane checked over her wife, making sure that she wasn't bleeding anywhere.

"You can't see it? It's fucking huge!" Maura cried, pointing to her stomach. Jane was confused- just earlier in the day they were talking to her stomach, even if she was only 12 weeks and not showing yet. The blonde still pointed towards her abdomen, in utter horror. Then, after another visual check, Jane finally found what had made her wife so upset.

One lonely little purple stretch mark had formed near her navel. It was only less than an inch long, but Jane assumed that in Maura's eyes- it was a mile. Jane knew that this was a sensitive issue for Maura, it was one of the only reasons that the blonde even considered not being the first to carry their children. She wasn't vain per se, but she took a lot of time and effort to look how she wanted to and this was relinquishing the last bit of control that she had over that. Jane, being the ever loving wife, just covered Maura's torso with her hand snuggled down onto the bedroom floor with her. They stayed that way until Maura had fallen asleep and was quietly sniffling into Jane's shoulder.

It was moments like that where Jane knew that Maura had seen better days. Sometimes they would wake up and Maura would roll over, trying to be cutesy by snuggling up with her, only to remember that she had gotten bigger and could no longer snuggle up to Jane's small frame like she used to. When that happened, the rest of her day was shit. So, Jane started to wake up before Maura and would be waiting downstairs in the kitchen with coffee and breakfast. It's a good thing that her morning sickness had left quickly, because when Maura couldn't eat breakfast- no one was getting breakfast

Jane had just thrown the bacon in the hot frying pan when she heard Maura's alarm go off upstairs. The sound of bacon frying in a pan always made Jane think of the summers that her and her brothers would get up at noon and she would cook all three of them breakfast while their parents worked.

Plop. There was one egg in the pan with the nearly done bacon.

Plop.

Plop.

There were two more. She had always cooked her eggs in with her bacon. It saved on pans and who doesn't like eggs that taste like bacon? After it was all finished, Jane arranged two plates for them and started up the stairs. She set the plates down on the bed- ignoring Maura's rule about food in bed with the hopes of something else in bed. Maura walked out of the shower, and saw the food waiting for her on the bed. She beamed at the thought of Jane doing all of this for her, even if Jane refused to buy anything but pork bacon. She grabbed a strip, eating it playfully in front of her wife. Suddenly, her stomach lurched, and she rushed to the bathroom.

Even though it wasn't anyone or anything's fault, Jane still felt guilty and hadn't eaten bacon since.

Thankfully, Maura's sensitive stomach only lasted a few weeks- Jane had really started to miss breakfast. After that miniature crisis, they didn't have much in the way of issues with the pregnancy. The only other bump in the road is when Maura really started showing and they had forgotten to tell one person…

"Erm, Doctor Isles, are you okay?" Susie Chang asked with great concern for her boss. She was sobbing quietly in the corner of the morgue. Maybe it was that time of the month? She did see that Maura had started to put on a little weight, but in the front? With a bone structure like Dr. Isles', the first place she would gain weight would be her face.

"Oh Susie, I'm so fat that I can't reach my tools" Maura cried, motioning angrily towards the stainless steel tray that sat untouched. Susie was very uncomfortable in this situation, she had never seen her boss break down this way.

"I just can't wait for this baby to be out, and I'm only 21 weeks!" Maura yelled at nothing in particular. When she realized how she looked, she burst into tears again. Susie finally realized what was happening quickly made herself scarce.

Jane had gotten a hushed phone call from a very frazzled Susie, telling her that she needed to pick her sobbing wife up in the morgue. Jane had just laughed and taken her emotionally rocky wife home.

Jane suddenly heard her wife wail her name so loud that she could hear it out in a lobby. She jumped up and sprinted back towards her room where she was greeted with quite a sight.

Her normally composed wife was a sweaty and crying mess. She was looking at Jane with the most terrified expression. She held her hand out and Jane took her sweaty palm.

"Jane, baby, I'm so sorry. I love you and I didn't mean please don't leave me?" Maura cried, cringing as another contraction hit her.

"I'd never leave you Maura, I'll be here forever and always" Jane pushed Maura's sweaty hair off of her forehead, leaving kissen their wake. "Okay now push pretty girl, I'm so fucking proud of you Maur."

"Language, Jane" Maura laughed as she corrected her wife.


	37. David Cook - Always Be My Baby

I don't know why I'm just having a lot of pregnant Maura feels today

* * *

><p>"and the little train said Choo Choo!" Jane hooted, her impression of a caboose making their daughter Izzy giggle with laughter. Her little brown ringlets shook to and fro as Jane jumped around her room, imitating a train. It was a nightly ritual for them to read a book before Izzy headed off to bed. Maura used to sit in with them but she no longer could sit comfortably on the carpeted floor of their daughter's room.<p>

"Mommy! Mommy! Maura-mama says no jumping!" Izzy said, with an accusatory glare. She knew her mommy was only kidding, but if she had to follow the rules, everyone did.

Jane burst out laughing and nodded slowly, Izzy was right. She sat on the edge of the little bed and smiled down at her little miracle. She couldn't even believe that they were expecting another one so soon. But, Jane knew that Maura had always wanted to bear a child, even if it meant stretch marks and swollen feet.

Izzy scooted over and patted the side of her bed, looking just like Jane when Izzy came to sleep with them.

"Take a load off mommy, I know you had a rough day" Izzy said softly, running her tiny hands up and down Jane's back.

"Where'd you learn that, little bug?" Jane laughed at the expression that someone must have taught her daughter.

"Maura-mama said that if she ever makes you upset, just to tell you that because you love my little dimples. Plus, you rub her back that way when she sick of the baby" the child said with contempt.

Jane was amused by Maura's subtle tactics for calming her down. It was true, she did love Izzy's little dimples. But, the way that her daughter spoke of the baby had Jane a little concerned.

"Little bug." Jane started. She saw little brown eyes look defeated as Izzy realized she'd been caught. "Are you not happy to have a little brother or sister? Your Mama and I are so excited, you get to be-"

"A big sister. I know. But you'll have a new baby to think about. I'll just get left in the corner like Bass." Izzy admitted with tears in her eyes.

Jane felt her eyes well up at the sight of her baby crying. She was at a loss, she didn't know what to do. So, she whispered that she would be right back and kissed Izzy's head. Izzy just rolled over and faced the wall, refusing to make eye contact with her mommy.

After a few minutes of tension filled silence, Izzy finally heard her door open and a soft voice rang out.

"Isabella Maria Rizzoli, you'll always be my baby girl." Maura said, using Jane as an anchor as she knelt down on the plush carpet. She scooted as close as her belly would allow her, dragging her fingertips down her daughter's arm. Eventually, Izzy rolled back over, her face full of shame.

"I'm sorry", she mumbled at her mothers. She knew deep down that they would always love her, she just didn't like sharing.

"It's okay baby girl, you just need to talk to us about these things okay? Don't let them get too big in your chest, or we end up like this" Maura said motioning towards a still sniffling Jane- who promptly tried her best to look like she wasn't as hurt as she truly was.

"Okay. Do you promise that I'll always be your little Izzy Bug?" big brown eyes stared at the two women who both nodded.

"Always. You'll always be our Izzy Bug" Jane said, kissing her wife and daughter on the nose. She stood up and offered a hand to Maura, who stood up as gracefully as she could manage at 36 weeks.

Izzy just smiled and settled into bed with her teddy bear and tortoise stuffy. The two parents flicked on the night light and walked out of the little girl's room, leaving the door open a crack. They walked over to their bedroom where Maura had been meditating before Jane had asked for help. They slid into bed, and Jane protectively wrapped her arms around her pregnant wife.

"You'll always be my baby too, kay Maura?" Jane nuzzled her cold nose into Maura's hair and sighed.

"You'll always be mine too, Jane" Maura sighed, life was so good for her.

"and soon we'll have another baby to add" Jane thought to herself, smiling against her wife's head.


	38. Pentatonix - Run To You

**I'm giving this a very large trigger warning for suicide and death. I had a different story planned for this until I saw the video and heard the actual song. Woah. I'm sorry if you guys hate me for this, I swear the next one will be so fluffy, you'll see it from Mars.**

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><p>Sunshine.<p>

Sunshine is something that I will miss. Well, I'll miss the grass too. I kind of want to bundle up the buttery sun in a bag to take with me. There's not much that would make me stay, but sunshine is one. I fingered the little navy blue scrap- the last piece that I had of you. My head is swimming with memories, or they could be hallucinations- I haven't eaten in a few days.

I'm perched on the end of the bathtub- our bathtub. I've researched this heavily and I have chosen how we shall be be reunited, Jane. I'll get there baby girl, you've always been faster than me. You're like the wind in that sense, you lift my hair and tickle my cheeks when you pass. My shoes don't match my pants I realized. Hmm.., it doesn't matter anymore. I wonder if I've fed bass enough, I hope that he'll be okay. I never realized just how sad it is when pets outlive their owners.

I can hear the ice cream truck driving down the street- I wonder if Angela will take TJ to go get some. I wonder what she will do when she fin-

_no._

_no seconds thoughts Maura. You know better than this- you have to meet Jane. She's waiting for you. She's probably upset with you, you're never late and is she ever impatient. She said she'd never leave you. She just ran away for a little bit. Look at you, yelling at yourself in your damned head. _

I had rubbed the square of Jane's blues so roughly in the three days since she ran away that the once rough fabric is smooth. Her medal of honor is laying on her side of the bed, next to Jo Friday- who hadn't moved since you broke the news that Jane wasn't coming back to walk her. You put that in your letter right? That Frankie needs to take her in once he's released? Well, Angela is a smart woman, she'll know what to do.

Angela, my mother. Well, she's close enough to be my adopted Mother- she knows so much more about myself than Constance does. If I think about her face when she sees that her other daughter has died, I'll choke and never find Jane. I can't back out now- don't be a quitter Maura.

The pills are right there taunting me- telling me that I'm too weak to do this. They're trying to keep me from her, from Jane my soulmate. I need to tell her that I love her, before she finds someone else.

Oh no! What if she's found someone there already?

_You mustn't wait any longer Maura, you're simply stalling now. You need to find Jane, she needs to know that you love her- that's why she ran away. You need to run to her Maura, you need to catch up to her. She's waiting for you with open arms. _

If you squint hard enough, and you stop breathing for a little bit- you can see here there with arms wide open. She's calling for you Maura, do you hear that? You can't wait another minute.

The pills are jagged and rough, they aren't very good. They stick to my throat and they scratch going down. I choke them down, am I crying? I can't even feel my face anymore. I shiver, probably out of hunger more than anything else, so I pull Jane's hoodie closer to my body. I stand up, with a sense of peace. Jane will be in my arms soon and that thought alone makes me beam. My body aches from being in this position on the edge of the tub so I stand, albeit a bit wobbly. I shouldn't feel anything for about 10 minutes, so I go lay down on my bed-our bed. I snuggled under the blankets and bring Jo to my abdomen. Jane's medal of honor is on her pillow, making a ruckus.

I lay my head down on the pillow and bring the medal to my lips, pretending I was kissing Jane, not a golden representative of her soul.

After a few minutes I can feel myself drifting towards the heavens. I look up and I swear on a God that I don't believe that my girl is right there. Her hair is everywhere and she's smiling, good Lord her dimples are divine. She's so close, and she's running towards me. I stretch my arms out and cry out to her.

_I will run, I will run to you Jane. I will. _

_I will run._

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><p>Angela Rizzoli screamed and beat the fragile white body underneath the covers. How could she lose another child, her last daughter? What had she done that was so terrible? This family was falling apart: first her daughter gets killed in the line of duty, her son nearly died in the same incident. Now, here was Maura clutching Jane's medal to her chest. Angela perked as she heard a tiny whisper<p>

"I'll run, I'll run, I'll run to you" it was barely audible in the silent room.

She wasn't gone yet! Angela hurried and called 911, screaming that her baby wasn't dead.

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><p>I was walking on a beach, the wind in my hair. But, where was Jane? A warm hand on her shoulder made her turn.<p>

There she was- Jane Rizzoli. She was wearing a black bikini- my favorite thing she ever owned. She didn't speak, she just kissed me softly. Her eyes were warm chocolate and she smiled into our kiss. She wiped away one of my tears and she spun me around and kissed my neck. I turned back around to kiss my love again but, she was gone?

Where was Jane? She'd just found her! She-

"She's back!" someone yelled loudly.

I just groaned, who was back?

"We've got her stable, someone call Mercy? ETA is five minutes!"

"Oh Maura" was that Angela? "Don't run away baby girl, you're the only daughter that I have left"

Was she alive? She had failed? No. No. Nononononononono..

_I'll try again later, when everyone is asleep. I will find Jane. I will run to Jane_

I will run to Jane.


	39. Vanessa Carlton-I Don't Wanna Be a Bride

Maura adjusted the unfamiliar band on her finger and pushed open the heavy door of the Boston Police Department. She smiled at the people running around in organized chaos and just how normal it felt- she had missed the hullabaloo. She stepped into the lobby and jumped slightly as the whole department broke out into congratulatory claps and cheers. Even the Janitorial staff was looking at her with love and pride.

Blushing at the sudden attention, Maura just nodded thankfully towards everyone and accepted hugs gracefully. She eventually made it past the group of people and walked to the elevators. She chewed her lip thoughtfully, and decided to stop by BRIC first- Jane had forgotten her lunch this morning. Of course her wife would forget her lunch on the first day back from their honeymoon.

"Good Morning Doc McStuffins!" Crowe said to Maura, wiggling his eyebrows. She had no idea what he meant by that- but it was most likely rude. Maura only nodded in return and continued towards Jane's desk, which was empty. She sat down in Jane's desk chair and set her lunch on the desk. Deciding to welcome her wife back to work, Maura opened up the word processor and wrote a short and simple note.

Jane,

My darling wife, you've forgotten your lunch. You should be so glad that you married someone who will walk an extra 348 steps to bring it to you. I know that I'm glad that I married a dashing brunette who is exactly 348 steps away from me. Have a good day darling. I'll see you at home.

Maura

"Hey Doc" Korsak walked into the squad room. "Wait, what's your name now?"

"It's still Isles, Vince. Jane and I decided to keep our names because of our respective career paths. It just didn't seem necessary to change everything just for a name" Maura said tentatively. She was informed that some people wouldn't take to this news very well, even if it wasn't their business to begin with.

"Well, Maura, I understand and support you" Korsak said with a wink. He hadn't even thought of that as an option when they set up the office pool. He waved towards Jane, who was sauntering in with the largest coffee that Angela could sell her. She had not been ready leave Italy, but she was desperate to get back to work. As much as she enjoyed her honeymoon abroad and all of the...perks...that it came with, she really did miss her job.

"Hey Maur, whatcha doing up..oh." Jane noticed her lunch on her desk and the note on her screen. She blushed and walked towards Maura, kissing her cheek slightly. This was still her job and she would like to still have some respect with the boys. Her heart fluttered every time that she remembered that Maura was her wife now. She had always talked about how she would never marry or have kids, but Maura had brought upon a whole new wave of feelings in their relationship.

"You welcome, Detective Rizzoli" Maura smiled and twirled her wedding band again.

"Oh, did you tell them?" Jane asked nervously. It had taken her mother weeks to realize that Maura was still a Rizzoli at heart, even if her name stayed the same.

"Of course dear; I don't understand why you're so nervous about that- it will probably be easier on everyone anyways, they don't have to adjust to anything new." Maura said with her famous half-smile.

"I really don't know why I'm so worried about it, it's not like anyone I care about would have a problem with it. I'll get over it once everyone knows." Jane shrugged.

"Well, I'll be downstairs Jane. Call me if you need me?" Maura asked, grabbing Jane's hand and squeezing while she walked away. Jane just nodded and remembered something from earlier:

"Crowe, you're a fuckin douchebag! Did you call Maura "Doc. McStuffins? That's a kid show you asshole. You stuck watching cartoons 'cause the news uses too many big words?" Jane glared at the pissy detective. Crowe just glared as the whole room erupted in laughter and pointed at the seething man.

"Fuck off Rizzoli" Crowe shot back. Great- he'd now admitted to watching a cartoon in front of the whole squad.

Jane just smiled and walked back to her desk, she had won this round.


	40. A Great Big World - Say Something

**I needed some fluff after all those sad fics.**

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><p>Maura Isles was speechless; a rarity in itself. She looked everywhere but the woman in front of her and felt the familiar tugging in the corners of her vision. Soon her whole world had turned black.<p>

Hazel eyes rolled back into her head while Jane watched Maura faint in front of her. She moved quickly, gathering the form into her arms and deposited her on the couch in the living room. Her forehead was cool to Jane's touch, did she need to call an ambulance?

Maura's face moved slightly, as if she were dreaming. Jane interpreted this as pain and tried to wake her up.

"No Maura; you can't pass out right now. I asked you a simple question. Honey no, I can't lose you." Jane cried losing control of her emotions. "Say something baby girl, please?

She knew that this wasn't as serious as she was making it out to be but, when the person who is always in control of medical issues is unconscious, things go to shit pretty quickly.

"Hmm...Jane?" Maura mumbled, her eyes opening slowly. "What happened? Oh no. I fainted didn't I?"

"Oh Maur- are you okay? Do you need me to call anyone?" Jane asked, obviously worried about her.

"NO! I think I'll be fine" Maura admitted sheepishly; she hated to go vasovagal in front of people and surely didn't want to explain why.

"If you insist, I guess" Jane didn't believe Maura one bit. So, she camped out next to her on the couch, pulling the smaller woman into her lap.

"All I did was ask-oh. Maura. Maura honey" Jane's eyes widened when she realized why Maura had fainted. All she had asked was if Maura was pregnant, considering she had just eaten like 25 minutes ago.

Maura look down, unable to meet the disapproving gaze of her friend. She was ashamed of herself and the situation she had landed them in.

"How far along are you?" Jane's heart was breaking with every word that said to the now trembling blonde.

"12 weeks, I didn't want to tell anyone because I'm ashamed of my behavior. I'm a grown woman, but I'm so naive at the same time. I believed that he would stay. Am I that terrible?" Maura was now crying into Jane's button up shirt, clinging onto the tails for dear life.

"Maura, you're perfect. This family will help you, okay? Ma already loves you more than me so consider yourself supported in anything that you choose okay?"

Maura looked directly into Jane's eyes and smiled in that half smile that the blonde was known for. Half an hour they sat there, not moving, until Maura had nearly cried herself to sleep.

"Bella" Maura said quietly, flicking her eyes back to Jane.

"What Maura?" Jane hadn't really been paying attention, she was more thinking about how this threw a wrench in her plans. She really wanted to ask Maura on a date, but this was not the time to do it.

"I wanna name her Bella, if she's a girl of course" Maura's eyes closed as she drifted back to sleep.

Jane just smiled and wondered if Bella would ever play football with her and her brothers.


	41. Zedd ft Hayley Williams - Stay the night

"I don't think this is gonna work, Maur" Jane whispered softly towards the ground, not even able to look at me.

Her hands were clenching and I could see how red her scars were from nervously rubbing them. She wasn't telling me the whole truth, I could see it in her facial expression. She looked guilty, the crease in her forehead and her frown gave it away. She was pacing back and forth in her workout clothes, I had interrupted her sparring with her dummy in the living room.

My mouth went dry and every single word in all seven languages that I knew evaded me. I had loved this woman day after day for five years. Five years of love, pain, happiness, cramps, dates, fireworks, jobs, and decisions. How could she end this? Did I get a say in my future?

"Jane, why? Have I upset you? You can tell me anything you know- I just didn't" My voice cracked and my throat tightened. I had to stop, I would not cry in front of her. I would stand my ground and fight for us. I took miniscule steps forward and Jane backed away. She was still avoiding my gaze and I wasn't going to take it anymore.

Rushing forward with speed I didn't know that I possessed, I grabbed her by her shoulders and shook her once. Her watery chocolate eyes finally met mine and I knew- I knew what she was hiding something from me. She would never outright lie to me, but her body language gave her away. She was already in the process of getting over me.

"No, I just don't l-l-l-love you anymore Maur-Maura." Jane stammered, bursting into tears. "I don't want to be with you. I am going to leave. I-" she was crying so hard that she couldn't even speak anymore. I rubbed my hands up and down her trembling arms, trying to cover every area of skin that I could comfort.

"He threatened you, did he?" I stood on my tiptoes to touch our foreheads together. I fucking knew that Paddy would find out about our relationship. It's so terrible that he would have so much control over my life and I hadn't even seen the man in two years. He had known that all of my previous relationships were set up to fail. I knew that he hated me dating the law. It wasn't my fault that he was a criminal. I wasn't raised by him, my real parents loved Jane to pieces.

Jane noddled sadly, her beautiful black ponytail moving up and down. I looked into her brown eyes and saw that she didn't want this- she didn't want to leave. I knew that we would be together in the future. Our safety was first priority though, and that's why I knew that Jane needed to disappear. For how long? Would she come back? I had so many questions, but they would have to wait.

"Oh." I felt so defeated. "Well, how long do I have with you?" I asked Jane with a sigh. I threaded my hands through my hair- I hadn't even changed out of my work clothes yet. I could see my love thinking of running. I wanted her for just one more night, just one more.

"I leave tomorrow, Frost rented a car for me. I think I'll probably go to Canada. I- I don't want to go Maura, you have to know that" Jane pleaded, grabbing my hands and holding them to her chest. I could feel her heart beating furiously and I believed her. I tipped my head up and kissed her lightly.

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><p>"Please stay the night Jane. Please just give me one more night?" I was desperate to feel her skin against mine once more. I needed this as a parting memory, I needed this to keep me sane for however long it would be.<p>

Jane just nodded and kissed me softly, our tears mingled on our faces and we kissed quickly and cried in sync We held hands and walked to the bedroom, both too emotional to speak. When I sat on the edge of the bed and saw that Jane was already packed, I burst into tears. Jane cried as well- what was going to happen to us? It was terrifying, but I trusted Jane with my life.

We kissed quickly, but not without passion or vigor. We were both crying softly while we undressed each other for the last time. Our muffled sobs slowly turned into moans as we made each other come apart for the the duration of our time together. Our tears mixed and our bodies became one as we rocked back and forth in our bed. We refused to let go of each other until the sun began to rise. My love rose from the bed and kissed me soundly one more time as she dressed and prepared to leave.

I followed her to the door, leaving a little piece of my soul behind with each step. Jane placed a small cell phone in my hands.

"Never use it, only answer. You'll know when I call. Leave it on your nightstand, you'll know." Jane kissed me once again and shut the door. I couldn't even believe what had just happened to me. I-I could still taste her on my lips, how would I live again?

The phone in my hand buzzed once and I opened it to see a singular heart send from a private number. I clutched the phone against my chest and slid down the door, losing myself again. Would we ever be okay again?


	42. Imagine Dragons - Demons

**I'm going to make this a four shot using four different songs. :) Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, it literally makes me sooooo happy :D!**

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><p>"Momma, can we play with the light puppets again?" Hunter asked sleepily. The little boy was snuggled into his Momma's side as they watched the sun go down on the porch. They'd sat on the same old rickety green couch on the porch, every day since they'd moved to this town. At the very grown age of six and a half years old, Hunter was not ashamed to admit that his favorite part of the day was when his momma and him sat out here and just talked about everything. He loved to look at his beautiful mother with her soft hair, just like his. She looked so happy now, and that's all he'd ever wanted.<p>

"Oh honey, the sun's gone down too far. But, if you remind me tomorrow, I'll get it set up before sunset. I'm sorry pumpkin." Maura stroked her son's blonde curls, just reveling in the feeling of serenity that was life. She had learned the hard way to appreciate what she had now. She had before, but she just underestimated how much self-worth and peace of mind played a part in her happiness.

"Hmmkay, I guess" her son said with mock sadness as she stuck his tongue out and puffed out his wind tinted cheeks. Fall was rapidly approaching and with that came a multitude of changes: Hunter would start third grade and Maura would start as a nurse in the local vet clinic. They had spoken to great lengths about who the boy could talk to about his life, and where he was allowed to go after school.

The little elementary school was only a block from the Vet's office, but Maura still planned on walking her son to and from school; they had to be careful. They had to look out for _him._

_Him_

Just the singular thought of that wretched man made Maura shiver and tense up. They had one talk about that situation, nearly three months ago, when they'd left _him._

_"MOMMY!" Hunter yelled out as he watched his mother hit the bottom of the stairs. Her face was red and her dress was rumpled around her hips. She didn't have any shoes on and he could almost see blood on her leg. He was so scared. He was only six, what was he supposed to do? He grabbed his mother's cheeks and kissed them until she opened her eyes. She smiled at him and said she'd had a secret: they were going to go to a farm and he needed to pack before Daddy found out. He knew better than that, he wasn't a baby. But, he listened to his Momma and packed so fast that he could barely zip up his Toy Story book bag. He knew that his Momma kept her "vacation bag" tucked under his bed, so he grabbed that too. His throat started to tighten and he felt tears burning the corners of his eyes. But, he wouldn't cry in front of her, she would cry too. He never, ever, wanted to be the type of man to make a mommy cry. He didn't want to be his father._

Hunter snuggled deeper into his mother's embrace and inhaled her scent. She smelled like honeysuckle and flowers. After a few more minutes, and the sun had gone down, Hunter felt his mother jostle him awake.

"Hey, buddy, it's time for bed okay?" Maura whispered into his ear, kissing his cheek lovingly. It was nearing 10o'clock but Maura had also drifted off a bit on the old couch. It surprised her actually; she had let her guard down enough to actually sleep. Maybe this good old country air was beneficial to her mental health. She loved to sit out here when Hunter was asleep and just enjoy a glass of wine while nature serenaded her with its' wonderful noises.

Hunter just nodded and stood up slowly, he would never say it out loud but, he would give anything to sleep next to his mother again. He used to when he was younger, and she always made him feel safe and loved. But when _he _was home, he'd be forced to sleep in his room and hear all the terrible things that happened to his mother. Sometimes, when he couldn't sleep, those memories resurfaced and Hunter would sneak into his mother's room to make sure that she was okay. She was a strong woman, but he was the man of the house and he needed to protect what was inside of it.

Maura noticed her son's downtrodden expression and hesitancy to go into his room; he never really made a fuss about anything, so this must have been serious.

"Hey Hunter, I think that I might need someone to make sure that I fall asleep tonight, you up for the job?" Maura asked her son. She knew that he came into her room at night and she loved him dearly for it. But, he would never ask something like this. So, she would give him a reason to stay in bed with her.

Hunter smiled and nodded slowly. They walked into the house and he made sure to lock all four of the locks and to set the alarm. His Momma went into her room to get changed, and he grabbed his Batman pillow with the matching blanket. He changed into his pajamas and took a moment to stand in front of the mirror. He really was a tiny boy- his mother and father were thin but tall. So, he was pretty average. The kids in school sometimes laughed at him because his hair was so light and curly, saying it looked like lady hair. But, he didn't care because he looked like his mother and she was wonderful. Deciding to be silly for a moment, he flexed his arm in front of his mirror and tried to look intimidating, which failed- miserably. He ended up looking like something tasted badly, so he just shook his head and decided that if his opponent was looking at his face, well, he would not be expecting what was coming to him.

He heard his mother humming softly down the hall, and he smiled. She was singing the lullaby that she used to sing to him when he couldn't sleep. He very much remembered that _he _would storm out of the house and leave his mother in a terrible state. So, they would sit down in Grand-Mere's rocking chair and they'd fall asleep like that. His Momma used to hold him so tight against her that he would fall asleep counting her heartbeats.

Maura smiled at the sight of her son, flexing in front of the mirror. She wouldn't tell him that she saw but it also kind of scared her just how physical he'd become since they left. She should have made him see someone, but it was rare to find someone in a town this small. The nearest facility was about 40 miles away. But honestly, Maura was just kind of terrified to leave the confines of this little town.

She walked back down the wooden hall, taking a moment to look at all the photos that littered the hallways. She had truly decorated this house as she's wanted- filled with photos of things that made her happy. Maura trailed her fingers along the white wooden walls until she reached the door frame of her bedroom. She walked in and made sure that all of the windows were locked, she couldn't be too careful

_She had snuck them out of the house while he was still passed out upstairs. They'd shoved everything into her tiny prius and took off. She had waited until they were well out of town to even exhale and relax the tiniest bit. Her poor son was nearly purple and shaking because he was trying to put up a brave face. She had just driven until she was down to a quarter tank of gas. Judging by the placement of the sun- she'd estimated they were nearly 13 hours away. She'd sworn she'd seen an Iowa sign about an hour back. They'd stopped and eaten at a sandwich shop and stopped at the back. Maura withdrew every cent from their bank accounts and took his name off of her private funds. She'd stopped and checked out where she was and sighed. Yes, she was in Iowa. Well, no one would find her here. She cancelled her phone plan, and changed her name at the DMV. Rather, she'd tried to. But, the rude woman there just did not understand what it was like to be running from someone who would kill you if they could. _

_They'd stayed at a hotel while Maura used her new phone to find some local properties. Her son had only said less than ten words in horrible 24 hour period. Before bedtime the blonde had an appointment to look at three houses in city, and a farm on the outskirts of town. She'd eventually chosen the farm because while she was deep in the country, she still had neighbors if something were to happen. _

Hunter saw his mother standing in front of the window, staring at nothing in particular. So, he jumped onto her bed and snuggled on top of her comforter. His Momma always slept on the left side of the bed, so he had just gotten used to sleeping on the right side. Even when he was in his own bed, the right side is where he felt the safest.

Eventually his hazel eyes started to droop and he murmured in his sleep. Maura jumped slightly and quickly shook her head to dispel her negative thoughts. They were safe, she always had to remind herself of that. They were far away from anyone that knew them. Soon Hunter would have lots of friends and hopefully would forget what used to be. Maura smiled sadly at the realization that once she started at the clinic, she too would have to interact with people once more. That's the part that scared her the most. How could she learn to be around people without flinching and jumping at every single sound? Would she have to pretend to be happy again? Would she have to lie and use makeup to cover things that people never needed to see? She glanced down at her son, her poor baby. He had watched his mother be the subject of inhumane torture for years, and kept a brave face the whole time. Stifling tears, Maura slid into her bed and just stared at her son, her beacon of light. Hunter had fallen asleep already and Maura knew she should try and sleep too. Tracing her son's face with soft fingers, Maura knew that they would be okay. It would take more than just _him_ to break their bond. They were family, and family was the most important thing to her.

She slowly slid into the land of the sleeping, holding her son's hand the entire night.


	43. James Taylor - Frozen Man

**This song is very special to me. :) It's not meant to be taken seriously, but I love the story that it tells, and James Taylor's voice is soothing for me. **

**Any mistakes are mine, I'm so sleepy but I wanted to get this chapter up. This is a continuation of the previous chapter. The next two will be up in the same order. **

**As always, your reviews make me smile. Thanks for that :)**

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><p>Part <strong>two<strong> of **four**

The bright country sun rose slowly, casting light over trees and warming the faces of those who slept. Hunter sat up in his bed and rubbed his tired eyes. He never set an alarm, so why was his going off? He looked at his alarm and realized that he started school today, that's why he'd set an alarm. He was actually kind of excited to meet some kids his age. At this school he wouldn't have to explain why his parents never came to school events, his Momma had promised that she would go to every single one.

Jumping out of bed, the young boy hurried to change into his clothes that he had picked out the night before. He knew that his mother did the same, and it worked for her, so he would try to be the same. He threw on a sweater just to be safe, grabbed his book bag and ran into the bathroom to brush his teeth. After a successful game of lets-not-get-toothpaste-on-a-black-sweater, Hunter ran into the kitchen to see his mother making breakfast. She hadn't heard him coming and she was singing quietly and dancing while flipping the pancakes.

Maura turned around to see her son looking very dashing for his first day of school. The sight itself made tears form in the corners of her eyes. He would finally go to a school where no one knew that his mother didn't go outside and he was the reason. She smiled at her son and turned back to the sizzling pancakes so she could wipe her eyes without him noticing. When the pancakes were browned perfectly, Maura set them lovingly on a plate, making sure that they didn't touch, just like Hunter liked. While most people ate their pancakes with syrup or jam, her son had taken a liking to honey instead. So, she set the honey next to the pan so it would warm up a bit.

Hunter smiled up at his Momma, he really could see just how much happier she was out here. It was like meeting a new person. When they'd lived in Boston, his Momma only wore black and never went outside. She would get dressed really pretty every day, and wait at the door for her husband, for him.

His father was a wretched soul. Hunter didn't like to think about him because when he did, he always wished he'd saved his Momma earlier. If he'd saved his momma before she had her accident, he might have had a sister too. Maybe…

He looked into his mother's hazel eyes and he knew that she'd caught him thinking about their old life. Her smile faltered a bit, as she asked him the question she'd been trying to hold in for a long time.

"Are you happy here Hunter? Now that we're alone out here?" He knew that his Momma really meant if he felt safe, but she was hesitant to talk about it sometimes.

"Yeah Momma, I like it here. I like how happy you are, we're free. Safe. We're safe too" Hunter shoved pancakes into his mouth to silently stop the conversation from going any further. He had no problems talking about it, but not on the first day of school.

"Almost done? I'll get the car ready, it's getting cold so we won't walk just yet. "Maura wiped her son's face with a wet cloth. As old and wise as he appeared, he did still manage to get honey all over his face.

When her son returned all ready to go, Maura felt her chest bursting with pride for them. They had conquered so much, and they were so happy right now. They walked out the front door, and Maura noticed that one of the barn doors had blown open the night previous. She'd have to remember to shut it when she came back, the weatherman had said to expect temperatures in the low 30's well into the month of October.

They got into the car, and drove towards the school in a comfortable silence. When they arrived, Maura asked if Hunter wanted to go in with him-which he quickly declined. He knew that entering a building like that with so many kids would be very hard for her after spending so much time alone.

Maura had just smiled, and kissed her son on the head. She ruffled his hair and rubbed his cheekbone with the pad of her thumb until the first bell rang. He bid her goodbye quickly and ran towards the door, he didn't want to be late on his first day of school.

Tears streamed down Maura's face, she was ashamed of herself. There was no one here to hurt her and she still had problems facing people. It's not like any of them hurt her, it was only him.

He had forbid her from seeing the sunlight, saying that it made her age. He used to lock her in the bedroom for hours on end, just for walking too quickly past a curtain, revealing the sunlight. He would cuff her to the bed, and leave her there until Hunter woke up and needed feeding. Then, he would make her breastfeed their son whenever he cried, until her chest was so red and raw that showering made her cry out in pain.

Once their son was a toddler, Maura was forced to sit in the dark with the child in the basement while he slept. She thought every single day about leaving and running away but, the last time that she had tried that, he had smashed her head against the bathtub so hard that her eyes turned red and she couldn't speak clearly for days.

She hadn't had consensual sexual intercourse in nearly five years when she discovered that she was pregnant. Hunter was four and asking a lot of questions about why she always cried in the shower, or why she sat at the door for hours, just looking outside.

A shrill honk brought Maura out of her flashbacks as she realized that she was sitting at a stop sign in front of the school. She quickly left, gripping the steering wheel extra hard with her sweaty hands. She was on edge- she never dealt with flashbacks well. They'd been gone from that place for nearly six months, and had yet to hear a peep from her husband. She's thought about filing for divorce about a hundred times, but she was scared to even contact him.

She pulled into the driveway, and realized that she didn't even remember the drive home. She noticed the barn door was open and she needed to close it. So, she got out of the car and set her keys and purse inside the front door, on the counter. She grabbed one of Hunter's jackets and walked the 10 or so yards out to the barn.

She had picked this place because of the serenity surrounding the property, and she never once used any of it. They never took walks, or played in the yard, or used the barn for anything. Maybe when it got nicer out, they could learn how to play soccer together or something. Maura wrapped the sweater around her small frame. She had put on some weight since they'd left. She couldn't have been more than 95 lbs. when they escaped. Now she had lost the gaunt, angular look that she had before. For the first time in nearly a decade, Maura Isles loved herself, truly.

She finally reached the big white barn, it had seen better days. The wind whipped her honey blonde hair all around, it was sure getting cold quickly. They might actually get snow tonight. Maura pushed the door shut and right before she closed it, she thought she heard a whimper. But, there was no one out there, so it must have just been the wind between the old rafters. Using all of her strength, Maura pushed the door shut and latched it once again. She turned around and suddenly felt very vulnerable out here all alone.

Chills ran up her spine as she took off in a sprint towards the house, something wasn't right. When she got to her porch, out of breath, she looked all around and saw that nothing had moved. Maybe she was just paranoid.

She locked her house up and double checked the locks and windows. She still felt off a little bit, she thought maybe a hot bath would do the trick. Her bathroom wasn't much, just a claw foot tub and a sink. She usually showered for the sake of time, but sometimes, a good soak could clean more than the skin.

She locked the bathroom door behind her and stripped her clothes off. She gazed at herself in the mirror for quite a bit. Her hips had widened a bit, she looked more curvy and feminine. Her ribs were no longer visible, that made her feel much more attractive. Her skin no longer hung gaunt and pale. Her breasts were still scarred from him, but that would never change. She crossed her arms over them so she didn't have to see it. Moving on, she saw that her face was fuller, happier. Her skin was pink and healthy, compared to the pale yellowed skin she'd left with. She looked alive again, and it was great. But, there were scars that no one but her could see, or feel. Maura never forgot them, or where they came from. Would they ever heal?

Maura stepped into the cold porcelain and dumped some beads into the bath. She started the water, not able to suppress the moan that escaped her lips when the warm water pooled around her sore body. She lay back against the cold white bathtub and closed her eyes. This was heaven.

After nearly a half hour, and two more warm fillings of the bath, Maura finally decided to get out. She felt so relaxed and happy, she felt free for the time being. Deciding that she needed a cup of tea, Maura wrapped her robe around herself and made her way into the kitchen. She looked out the window and smiled, it had started to snow lightly. The tiny white flakes dusted the top of the porch and everything outside. She started the kettle and saw that her son would be done with school in about an hour. She set the time and sat down on the heated porch with a book and her tea.

After 45 minutes had passed, Maura rose and stretched from her position. She needed to go pick up Hunter; hopefully he'd had a nice day at school. She filled two travel cups with hot tea and grabbed a snack. Five minutes later saw Maura walking out the door towards her car fully clothed and bundled. She'd have to be careful, she wasn't really used to driving in snow anymore.

Once inside, set set one of the cups in her holder and the other in the backseat space, along with a bag of grapes and some thin mint cookies. She knew that getting some sort of snack after school made her son feel loved and cared for. Maura backed down the driveway and drove off to the school.

She didn't have to wait long after she'd arrived to see her little man walk out of the building with a huge smile. He opened the back door and slid in, grabbing the little bags of goodies and smiling at the warm drink his Momma had packed. He always wondered how she knew things like this made him so happy.

"So, little man, how was school?" Maura asked her son, making eye contact in the rear view mirror while she sat at the stoplight. He smiled at his Momma and continued to eat his grapes.

"It went well, I met a few nice kids. We mostly just talked about what we all learned last year. Mrs. R was surprised when I knew all of my times tables up to 9! She told me I was a bright young boy." Hunter bragged, he wasn't used to being complimented like that by anyone other than his mother. So, it really meant a lot to him.

"Well, you are a bright young boy. You'll have to tell me more about her when we get home" Maura said, turning onto the road. They'd be home in ten minutes and then she would start dinner while Hunter did whatever work he had at the table.

"Thank Momma, I love you" Hunter blushed at the loving tone his mother had used towards him. He had never heard it until they had moved out here. He was used to her cracking, small voice and pleads for help. But after they'd left, he hadn't heard either one of those.

"I love you too baby boy" Maura whispered.

They pulled into the driveway and Hunter was quick to get out and run to the door, not liking the cold air and snowflakes that were dropping quickly. Maura giggled as she flipped her keys around, eventually finding her house key. They'd entered the warm house that smelled like cinnamon and vanilla.

They'd hung their coats and scarfs up while knocking their shoes against the door frame to clear the snow off them. Hunter padded to the kitchen and took out some books while his Momma went to the cupboard to start dinner. They worked in a comfortable silence, something they would never take for granted.

One their food was done, Maura started to set the table and smiled when small hands took the plates out of her hand and finished the job. Her heart warmed to know that she had the best son in the world.

She dished it out, and sat down. Her son brought her a wineglass and she filled his cup with milk. They were quite the pair, and they knew it. Once they were all settled, they ate in more silence. Tiny smiles of appreciation were traded, as were ruffled head rubs and loving glances.

Hunter finished first and asked to be excused. He was allowed to watch an hour of television per night, and his favorite show was on in fifteen minutes. Maura nodded and laughed as her normally too mature boy took off like the child he was. She cleared the table and started to fill the sink with water, she'd decided against a dishwasher out here. She and her son took turns doing dishes, although Maura still refused to let him touch the knives.

Maura glanced outside and gasped, the snow had really picked up! There was now almost two inches outside, and the darned barn door was opened again. She knew that she really should shut it before it blew off the hinges or before any critters made themselves a home inside it. Maura dried her hands on her jeans and grabbed her son's coat-it was quicker to put on and it had a hood.

"Hey Hunter, I'm going to go shut the barn door again. I'll be back in a minute, okay?" Maura called towards the living room.

"Okay Momma, be careful- it's cold outside" her son's voice resonated through the house and she smiled, he was looking out for her.

She pushed her way outside and cringed as the cold wind stung her cheeks and ears. She pulled her hair out of the ponytail she'd had it in, hoping to warm her ears a bit. She trudged the familiar path in the snow, until she reached the barn. It looked very different at night, sticking out in the dark of the night.

She stepped back to put her force into the door again when she suddenly stopped. What was that noise? Maybe it was a hurt animal, or it could just be more wind in the rafters. Maura grabbed a piece of wood from the side of the barn and used her phone's flashlight to look around the barn. There, under some hay, was a form that was shaking badly. Maybe it was seizing?

Maura approached carefully and gasped when she saw that it was a woman wearing almost nothing. She was clutching her hands to her chest and moaning, it looks like she might have a fever? Her lips were blue and her ears were so purple that Maura feared they were frostbitten.

"H-Hello? Are you awake?" Maura asked cautiously, kneeling down in front of the form. She saw dried, frozen blood on the shirt of the woman and also noticed that she was wearing badge. Was she a police officer? Maura grabbed out to touch the woman to gauge her body temperature and nearly screamed when she realized that this woman was freezing? How long had she been out here?

Maura made a quick decision and scooped up the woman in her arms. She was a thin person but Maura was still struggling to keep her balance. She forgot about the barn door as she moved step by step back towards the house. The journey that normally took a minute was nearly approaching twenty. She saw her porch light flick on and her son ran out in only his boots and his pajamas. Before she could even yell at him to put a coat on, she realized that she was wearing it.

"Hunter! Fill up my tub with some cold water okay? Hurry!" Maura directed her son, who just nodded and ran back into the house, leaving the door open for Maura and the woman who had yet to wake up.

Once Maura had gotten into her house, she tried her best to set the woman nicely down on the couch on the porch. Her arms were shaking, as were her legs, but she needed to get this woman's body temperature up soon!

Hunter came back in with a pair of his sweatpants and a hoodie, she assumed was for the woman. She smiled at his thoughtfulness and kissed him quickly on the head.

Together they carried this woman to the bathroom, and Hunter backed out once Maura had started to strip the woman out of her frozen clothes. Maura threw the clothes into the bin without thinking and set the woman's badge on the sink next to them. Once her frozen body was down to just underwear, Maura lowered her into the cool bathtub. The woman's brown eyes shot open at the change in temperature and began to whimper at the cold water which was most likely burning her skin.

"Hey, it's okay. You're safe, I'm a doctor. Well, I used to be but that's beyond the point" Maura whispered, stroking the woman's dark brown waves.

"He was too. Don't hurt me" the woman whispered, coughing hard when she used her voice. She hadn't spoken in a long time, and she was in so much pain she almost blacked out again.

"I won't hurt you, I swear on it. Just sit in here until this water feels cold, okay? Once it's cold, just tell me and I'll warm it up again. You were lying in my barn, why were you out there? Are you hurt?" Maura asked quietly. She generally avoided people as much as she could and she never just let someone into her home like this. But, she just felt that this woman needed help, and Maura knew that she needed to help her.

"You're an Angel, aren't you? Am I alive or am I dead?" the woman's eyes closed as she fell asleep in the bathtub.

Maura just blushed and drained the tub. Once it was empty, she ran the water again, only a little warmer. She reached under the sink and grabbed her old medicine bag. She sifted through the tools inside until she pulled out a thermometer. It was a child type one, so it needed to be inserted into her ear, but it's all she had right now.

98.1. Whew, Maura sighed.

She was close to being back up there, she might just be okay. Maura wiped her brow with her hand and shut off the water. She let the woman sit there for a minute, eventually grabbing a cup and pouring the warm water over her head. She uncurled her hands, which were still up by her chest and gasped. There was a red, angry, infected circle on each of her hands, right in the middle.

She dunked them under the water and nearly cried when the tub turned copper. She would fix those too. Whoever this woman was, she was in bad shape. But, it had been years since Maura practiced medicine, so she was just the woman for the job.


	44. Rihanna Ft Eminem - Monster

Tiny tw for alluding to rape and abuse nothing graphic at all. This is part three of my four shot, but I think I'll write an epilogue for it too.

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><p>TW for light mentions of sexual and physical violence.<p>

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><p>Maura grunted in exhaustion as she pulled the semi-conscious woman out of the lukewarm bathtub. She had regained consciousness for a while and was now lightly snoring. The blonde carried the frail woman to her bed and laid her down on the cover, ignoring the spreading water stain on her sheets.<p>

The woman's body was covered in goosebumps, which was a good sign. Maura gently removed the woman's undergarments and tried not to cry at the sight of all the blood that stained them. She grabbed the heaviest pajamas she owned out of her dresser and gently covered the shaking brunette with them. Maura ran out of her bedroom and whipped open the hall closet, taking out every blanket that she owned. The pile was so tall that Maura has to bounce off the wall a few times, trying to find her bedroom door.

Once inside, Maura threw the pile of blankets on the bed next to the woman. She covered her up with all of them, and walked back into the living room where her son was sitting on the couch. He was quietly watching television, but Maura knew he was nervous and trying to behave. His little hands were grabbing at the corners of his t-shirt, and his leg was bouncing-a trait he'd picked up from his mother. It kind of broke her heart to see her son this distressed, but she would explain it as best as she could. Maura walked quietly into the room, grabbed the remote, and muted the television.

"Hey, Hunter, what happened- that was really scary, huh?" Maura knelt down on the floor and looked her son in the eyes. His lip was quivering, but he held steady. Hunter just reached out towards his Momma, who hugged him. He nodded into her hair, and whispered, "Is she okay? I got out some of my jammas, but I think she's too tall"

"I know that you did, sweet boy. I love that you have such a big heart. You're such a wonderful son, did you know that? Can I ask you a very mature favor thought?" Maura knew that her son was scared of having someone he didn't know in their house, but she just needed to help this woman.

Hunter just nodded, slowly untangling himself from his mother's embrace. He wiped his eyes quickly and listened for his new set of instructions.

"Okay, I know that it's only 8:00, but would you mind going into your room. You aren't in trouble, but I don't want you to scare that lady. It looks like she's going to need someone to help her, and I don't want you to worry. Remember when I worked at the hospital? You weren't very old, maybe...three? But, I used to help people just like her, so I'll be okay. Can you do that for me baby boy?" Maura cupped his cheek, and rubbed her thumbs along his face. With a determined nod, Hunter kissed his Momma on the cheek and walked towards his bedroom. He only made it halfway before he turned around and ran back towards her, grabbing the remote and shutting off the television.

"Love you, night Momma" Hunter blew her a kiss and walked back to his room, closing the door softly behind him. He turned off the lights, and got into bed. Whoever that woman that his Momma brought in, he wanted to help her however he could. His Momma had taught him one thing when things were bad at home: Everyone is someone's child, and you always need to think about that before you speak to someone. His teacher talked today about not being a bully, and he thought that this would make a good topic in class tomorrow, if anyone believed him. Even though it was early, Hunter was exhausted after the craziness. He quickly fell asleep planning the story he would tell everyone tomorrow.

Maura went to the kitchen after turning the lights off in the living room, and put some tea on. She checked all of the locks, and went into the laundry room. She stripped out of the wet and dirty clothes she was wearing, and slipped into a pair of flannel pants and simple tank top. She threw her clothes right into the washer, and started it- she would finish them tomorrow.

The kettle beeped, and Maura walked back into the kitchen. She shut the laundry room door, and turned off the hallway light. She inhaled the smell of her lavender tea and sighed. She poured herself a cup, and poured a small amount in a portable mug in case that woman woke up. Maura carried both cups, and a magazine in between her teeth. She had to do a very awkward hip check to the light switch in the kitchen, nearly spilling everything in her grasp. She walked into her bedroom to see the woman's chest still rising. She set her tea and magazine down on the other side of the bed, and got under the covers. She debated waking the woman, who was still warming back up.

After a few minutes of deliberation, Maura decided to slowly wake the woman so she could be aware of her surroundings. Slowly, as not to scare her too badly, Maura touched her shoulder, which was still cold through the fabric of her clothes, but not nearly as freezing as she was about an hour ago.

"Hey. Hey. I don't know who you are, and I'm not sure how you ended up in my barn, but you're safe. You're in my bed, so don't worry if you don't know where you are. Can you open your eyes for me please?" Maura said as sweet as she could manage. She started to run her hand over the shoulder of the woman. After a few moments, the brunette's eyes fluttered open, and she shot up in bed. She scared Maura so badly that she nearly fell off of the side of bed.

"W-Wher-ohh" The woman must have been in so much pain, Maura figured after remembering all of her wounds. The woman just curled her hands into her chest and started to rock back and forth. She was shivering and her teeth were chattering, showing just how cold she was.

"Hey, it's okay." Maura whispered, reaching out to her "I found you in my barn, and I took you in here. You're safe, but you were in the snow. I want to make sure that you warm up. Do you want some tea?" Maura started to ramble, she hadn't really thought about what happened after the woman woke up. Would she want to stay? She really wasn't fit to go back inside.

The woman looked at Maura, sizing her up. Maura handed her the travel mug, before realizing that her hands probably were too cramped to hold the cup. She put a finger up, asking for just a moment as she ran back into the kitchen. She didn't bother to turn on the light as she rummaged through the drawers, finally emerging with a straw. She bumped her toe on the edge of the table and cursed to herself. Finally, Maura hobbled back towards the bedroom, careful not to make too much noise.

When she walked back in, the woman noticed her limp and frowned. Maura just waved away her concern and climbed back into the bed. She plunked the straw into the mug, then held it out to the woman. Cautiously, the woman started to drink and coughed a bit at the warm liquid. Maura set the cup down in the woman's lap.

"Do you have any idea how you ended up in my barn?" Maura asked, with a slight head tilt. Who would purposefully go outside and get lost in the snow?

"I escaped." the woman muttered. She shivered so hard that the mug almost tipped. Maura quickly removed it and set it down next to her on the end table. Remembering that she also had tea, the blonde sipped it quietly and waited for the other woman to explain further.

"Where am I? I don't remember how long I ran for. I don't even know how long.." she sighed and looked away. She really did not want to be here, she didn't even know this woman. But, she hadn't escaped just to die outside.

"You're in Iowa. We live just outside the Davenport City limits, where did you come from?" Maura offered her the tea again, which she refused.

"Jane. I'm Jane. I- I used to live in Boston. But, _he_ took me.I don't even know how old I am- what year is it?" Jane turned her head to look at Maura, who quickly wiped away a tear. She wanted to help this woman so much, but she had only known her for less than three hours.

"Hi Jane, I'm Maura. I also used to live in Boston. It's 2010, what was the year when you were taken?" Maura tried her best to keep herself from panicking. She tended to have terrible flashbacks when she spoke of Boston.

"2000, I think." Jane muttered. She felt dizzy, so she let herself fall back into the bed. She was famished, but the thought of food made her wants to throw up.

"My goodness; how long have you been outside? It's only 20 degrees out there?"

Jane just shrugged. She really didn't even remember how she got to the barn in the first place. Everything was hazy, including the past nine years. All she could remember now was pain and loneliness.

"Hey, don't freak out, but you need to warm up. Do you feel okay? I can make you some soup?" Maura asked, finally taking a moment to notice just how beautiful of a woman Jane was. She had long brown hair that fell in chunks around her thin face. She looked to be of Italian or Spanish descent.

"I'm really cold, I just can't get warm" Jane shivered again so violently that Maura feared she would start seizing.

"I have an idea but I want to run it by you first Jane, okay?" When Jane simply nodded, Maura continued. "You need human contact. I don't want to scare you though. I need your skin to touch mine, okay?" Maura said slowly gauging her reaction.

"I don't know. I don't really like to be touched" Jane tried her best to stay calm. She knew that this woman wasn't going to hurt her, but after years of physical and emotional torture, Jane's psyche was broken."

"Well, can I tell you a story that might make you trust me a little more?" Maura asked. She finished off her tea, and snuggled down into the blankets. She turned towards Jane and slowly brought both of her hands out the blanket to show Jane where they were at all times. Jane nodded again, and brought the covers up to her chin.

"Well, in the other room over there" Maura pointed to the closed door across the hall."That's my son, Hunter. His f-fath-father, was my hu-husband." Maura stuttered- a habit she had when she was really nervous. She did not like to talk about her past, but if it helped this woman- even the tiniest bit, she would do it.

"He, he was a good husband at first. I mean, I never really loved him- his family was quite close to mine when we were growing up. So, naturally, we were destined to marry. He developed quite a gambling problem right before Hunter was born. He never told me, but I knew that he had squandered away his family's money. In the beginning it was purely emotional. He would berate me for my parent's wealth and mock my profession. I was a medical examiner for the B-B-Boston Police Department, and Garrett- that was his name- did not like that. He couldn't find a job to his liking, so he tried to steal money from my parents." Maura took a few shaky breaths and waited a moment to start again.

"Once Hunter was born, Garrett just went south. I assume he didn't like my focus to be on our- my son, so he tried his best to make me want him. I refused his offers for sexual favors, until he no longer asked. After that, he quit asking, and just made me do those things for him." Maura broke out into sobs, she'd never said any of this out loud, and talking about it just made her hurt all over again.

"When I fell pregnant again, Hunter was almost four. He was so excited to have a sibling. But, Garrett was not happy that I'd become pregnant. He insisted that I terminate it and when I refused, he...well...manually solved the problem. Neither Hunter nor I were allowed outside unless it was necessary. His mother walked my son to school every day, and filled his head with horrible lies about life and how evil I was." Maura stopped, she could feel her vision narrowing and her chest tightening. She didn't want to start having a panic attack, so she just gulped down some air and tried her best to even out her heartbeat

"Hey" Jane's rugged voice ripped Maura out of her downward spiral. "Hey, are you okay? I'm sorry if I-"

"No, no, you're fine. I just don't talk about my past often and I-I-I just wanted to tell you t-that I'm b-b-b-broken too." the blonde stammered. She was embarrassed for her outburst, she had done so well since she'd left. She gasped as she felt a cold hand grab hers under the blanket. She looked up to see a face of understanding.

"We aren't broken, just bent. We are strong women, right?" Jane said. She motioned for Maura to scoot it and immediately relaxed when she came into contact with the blonde. She was already feeling better than she had when she woke up.

"I'm sorry" Maura sniffled and wiped her tears away. "I have no idea why I trust you so much, I'm generally very afraid of people" Maura let her thumb slide back and forth over Jane's ever-warming hand.

"I don't know why I'm still here, I don't really have any place to go. So, I kind of have to trust you. I mean, no offense I guess" Jane shrugged, hoping that the blonde would understand her anxiety.

"I understand, Jane. I'll make you a deal: if you stay here for a week, I'll feed you and nurse you back to health. After the week is up, you're welcome to leave if you want. I won't hold any of your choices against you." Maura bargained.

Jane seemed to think about it for a bit and eventually agreed. She really didn't want to go back outside in the cold, and this woman had food. Honestly, she'd die if she left any sooner.

"Okay, but only under one condition" Jane said. She didn't want to feel like a freeloader, and she didn't want to scare Maura's son, or make them uncomfortable.

"Sure- what?"

"Let me do the dishes at least?" Jane smiled and laughed lightly. Maura then laughed and nodded. She loved to hear the sound of the brunette's husky laugh.

Jane smiled and laid back into pillow. Maura turned off the light, and snuggled into the other woman, who was almost warmed up. She'd have to remember to take some of the blankets off her later. Jane inhaled the smell of lavender shampoo and realized that she'd laughed earlier, she hadn't laughed in nearly a decade. Both women fell asleep with smiles on their faces, despite their terrible pasts.

"


	45. John Legend - All Of Me

**I'm sorry this is so long. I didn't realize that I had such a story to tell! light trigger warning for mentions of abuse but nothing graphic at all. ill upload the epilogue tomorrow. I love reviews more than anything else. **

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><p>This is part four of my four shot. I wrote an epilogue for it too! I'm sorry that this one is so long, I just could not stop writing it! :D<p>

Part one | Part two | Part three

link to the whole songfic story is here 

When Jane woke that next morning, she felt like death had stomped all over her body. Her limbs ached and her stomach burned with hunger. But, she was warm. She shifted slightly, turning over on her side. Jane was unsure of her surroundings, where was she?

A small sigh makes Jane look up and gasp. The view of the woman that had saved her (Maura?) was snoring lightly on the other side of the large bed. Slowly, the memories of the night before trickled back, and she finally understood where she was. Normally, Jane would feel very nervous about sharing her name with someone she had just met. But, the fact that Maura had saved her life gained her a little bit of trust. The blonde had also unloaded some emotional baggage onto her as well. It made Jane feel like a human again, to be talked to like someone with thoughts or feelings. Instead of being made to answer to a whistle, or a simple command.

A pleasant hum slipped out of the blonde's mouth and she turned over in her sleep and faced Jane. She really was a beautiful woman, in Jane's opinion. She had to consciously stop her hand from wandering over to Maura and brushing the soft downy curls away from her face. When the blonde sucked her bottom lip inside her mouth and smiled in her sleep, Jane's mind stopped. She forgot about all of her pain.

She forgot about the beatings, the rapes, the broken noses and crushed fingers. She forgot the feeling of red-hot pain in her hands, she forgot that she was an undesirable thing. The only thing she remembered was the one dimple on that gorgeous face. The temptation became too much and she stroked the blonde's face lightly. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and realized that this woman saved her life. She owed her the world. She wanted to stay in this warm bed with this gorgeous woman, but she needed to get up and stretch her muscles- and go pee.

Jane stood slowly, realizing that Maura had to undress her to get her into warm clothes and she blushed. She was ashamed of her broken body, and didn't like the fact that she was on display. Tiptoeing out of the room, Jane saw that Maura's son's room was already open, and she could hear a struggle going on in what she assumed was the kitchen. She took a moment to look at the white walls and all of the little pictures of the family. For all the trials and tribulations that Maura had admitted the night before, they sure did look happy. Finally, Jane wandered into the kitchen to see Maura's son standing on a chair, trying to reach a bowl in the top cupboard.

"Need some help?" Jane husked sleepily, throwing her hands out when the boy jumped as she startled him. He turned around slowly, he wasn't supposed to be on the chairs, but he was hungry and needed to be at school in a half hour. He also heard his mom crying last night, and didn't want to wake her up.

"Are..you…okay? I saw Momma put you in the tub last night. Your lips were blue" Hunter asked while getting down off the chair. When Jane reached up and grabbed the bowl, Hunter gasped at the red scars on the woman's hand. He glanced at the floor and tried not to cry. How could someone hurt her like that?

"Yeah kiddo. I just fell asleep outside, and it was too cold. Your Mom saved me though, and I feel better today. I'm starving though, is there enough cereal for me?" Jane asked with a smile. She saw the kid ogle her hands, and she was very thankful that he hadn't asked about them.

Hunter just nodded and pushed the milk towards her, she seemed nice enough. He poured himself some cereal and just ate quietly, swinging his legs to a beat in his head. Jane smiled at the boy- he really did look just like Maura.

"Sorry if last night was scary, I didn't mean to cause any trouble. I'm Jane by the way, Jane Rizzoli." Jane whispered towards the remnants of her breakfast. She felt guilty for interrupting what seemed like a quiet family.

"I'm Hunter. It's okay Jane. Momma used to be a people doctor until he told her that she couldn't go outside anymore. But, she likes making people feel better, she told me that yesterday when we carried you. I'm just glad that you're okay Jane. Are you going to stay here?" Hunter was getting nervous, why hadn't his Momma come to drive him to school, they needed to leave soon.

"Yeah bud, I am. Your Momma told me to stay here a week so I can get healthy again. You keep looking down the hall for her, should I wake her up for you?" Jane asked as she stood and rinsed her bowl out in the sink.

"Well, I don't wanna wake her up, but I have school. I mean, I'm all ready to go but she's usually up by now." Hunter said quietly as he sat down to put his boots on.

Jane just nodded and padded down the carpeted hallway again. When she reached the bedroom again, she stopped right in her tracks. There was Maura looking like an angel. Her pajama top had ridden up slightly, showing off gentle curves. The blankets had been kicked onto the floor, making the blonde gravitate towards the warm spot on the bed. Jane was actually speechless for a minute- she'd never had this reaction towards someone she'd known for less than a day.

The brunette shook her head to clear her thoughts and entered the room, sitting softly on the side she was just sleeping on. She placed a warm hand on Maura's bare shoulder and whispered the blonde's name quietly. After a few rounds of this, Maura inhaled deeply and opened her eyes slowly. Jane looked like an angel, bathed in light over her. She looked much healthier than the night before.

"Hey sleepyhead, Hunter is in the kitchen waiting for you to drive him to school, okay?" Jane whispered to the blonde, who was still waking up.

Maura suddenly sat up and jumped off of the bed with a terrified look. Maybe they could stop for breakfast or something.

"Oh goodness, we're going to be so late, I didn't even feed him!" Maura cried, throwing on a grey hoodie and some yoga pants. She stepped into her boots and jumped around the bedroom looking for a hair tie.

"I fed him, he's okay. We had some cereal while you slept. I'm sorry if I shouldn't have. I can go shopp-" Jane was cut off as Maura shot her a grateful look.

"Oh thank you. I must have forgotten to turn my phone alarm on. Do you want to drive with us? I don't want you to think that we are holding you here." Maura asked the brunette who just shook her head. She was exhausted and just wanted to sleep but not before showering. She hadn't had a proper shower in…well…almost a decade.

"No thanks, do you care if I use your shower and just go back to bed? I really feel like sleeping now that I ate something." Jane walked with Maura back out to the kitchen, where Hunter sat nervously swinging his legs.

"Sure Jane, thanks so much. I'll be back in a little bit, but don't worry- I'll stay out of your way" Maura said quickly as she exited the house with her son. With a final wave, Jane made her way back into the bedroom. Now she had to try and get 9 years of filth and grime off of her skin.

* * *

><p>"So, I see that you met Jane, buddy. Was she nice to you?" Maura snuck a peek at her son in the back seat. He looked nervous and kept playing with the strings of his winter coat. Hunter smiled and nodded, still avoiding Maura's glances.<p>

"What's wrong, baby boy? Are you not feeling well?" They came to a stop in front of the school, Maura unbuckling herself so she could face her son. Hunter just blushed and shook his head, he looked up at his Momma with big hazel eyes and asked a question that made Maura's heart stop.

"Did she make you cry? We can move again if you want. I was nice because she got me breakfast, but if she made you cry I'll protect you." His chin quivered at the thought of anyone making his mother cry, she'd done that more than enough in his lifetime.

Maura couldn't help but burst into tears at the loyalty that son showed. She knew that he was the only person on this Earth who loved her wholly, no matter what. The face that child had, being her sole source of support for almost his entire life, made her heart full. She climbed into the backseat and gathered her son in the biggest hug that she could manage. Hunter just clung to his mother, he hated to see her cry.

When Maura's tears finally subsided, she took her son's hands in hers and held them in her lap. When her voice was finally strong enough to speak, she tried her best to comfort the boy.

"I'm sorry that you had to hear that, son. I- I just have a lot in common with her and we just talked about some hurtful things. I haven't spoken of your father to anyone, and she understands. You know when you just have to cry about something to make yourself feel better?" when her son nodded, Maura continued, "Well, that's what we did. She listened to me, and she's just a stranger. But, it felt good to talk about it. I promise next time, buddy, that I won't be so loud and I'll make sure to tell you that I'm okay." Maura rubbed his flushed cheeks and kissed his forehead. "Okay, kiddo, are we okay?"

Hunter just smiled and kissed his Momma's head in return. He was glad that he didn't have to be mean to Jane, he really liked her.

"Yeah, we're fine. I'm going to go in now. Mrs. R is very strict about time." Hunter grabbed his book bag and opened the door. He waved goodbye to Maura, who climbed back into the front seat and shifted into drive. She drove home in a happy mood- the fierce loyalty of her son and the kind words from Jane made Maura feel so loved, despite only knowing the brunette for a day.

* * *

><p>Jane stepped of the shower and wrapped a lush towel around her body. She had washed herself almost raw, but she felt better than she had in a decade. The warm spray had taken a lot of residual self-loathing down the drain with dirt and grime. Her hair felt softer than it ever had, and she'd been reluctant to use Maura's brushes, so her hair was hanging in damp curls around her face. She felt so at ease that she didn't even hear Maura walk into her bedroom.<p>

Jane strolled out of the shower, and jumped when she saw Maura casually throw her sweatshirt over the edge of a chair, leaving the blonde in a sports bra and yoga pants. Jane's jaw dropped and the sight and quickly turned around to try and save face.

Maura gasped as she saw the tall and lean woman in just one of her dark red towels. She didn't know much about Jane, but she now knew that red was definitely her color. She hadn't really thought of Jane as a human since she'd found her in the bar, she'd been a patient in Maura's mind. But, seeing the long tan legs and gorgeous black hair made the blonde realize that this woman was a bombshell.

"I-I'm so sorry Jane, just let me grab a shirt and I'll leave you in peace. If you'd like, I'll be on the porch, watching the snow. I-I, I mean, I'll- I'll just be out there, sorry again" Maura stuttered as she pulled a shirt on without even looking at what it said and ran out of the bedroom. Once she'd gotten into the kitchen she filled her kettle and started some tea for the both of them.

Maura paced around the kitchen waiting for the kettle to sound when she realized that there was two bowls and two spoons in the drying rack inside the sink. The thought of Jane and her son sharing breakfast together kind of scared her- she'd eaten with her son every morning since they'd moved to Iowa, and she'd broken that now. But, at least he didn't have to eat alone. Plus, Jane ate something- that was a good sign too. Maura poured two cups of tea, grabbed some grapes from the fridge, and went to sit on the couch. She didn't know if Jane would join her, but she figured that maybe she would let Jane talk about her past today. Maura curled up under the fleece blanket and stretched out. Soon, she would starting working again, and wouldn't have this much free time on her hands. She closed her eyes and let her muscles relax, the sounds of the storm outside made her drowsy.

Jane poked her head it and saw Maura almost napping. The smile on the blonde's face made Jane mirror the action. It was a becoming a proven fact that Maura's smile was contagious.

"Maura, I'm sorry to wake you up. But, do you have any clothes that I can borrow? I kinda- yeah, mine aren't usable" Jane whispered.

"Yeah, grab anything, I don't mind" Maura said with a smile. Jane was welcome to anything in her home honestly, including her heart.

Maura blushed deeply and grinned madly at that thought. She had no idea where that feeling came from, but she didn't mind it at all. It was actually kind of refreshing for Maura to feel something, even if it was just a fluttering crush that was passing by. Maura settled back into her spot for a few minutes, until a cold pair of hands lifted her bare feet and slid in beside her.

Maura cracked an eye and saw Jane wearing a pair of pajama pants and a tank top. She placed Maura's feet into her lap and smiled down at the blonde. Maura jumped at the cold touch but relaxed when she saw the tension drip off of the brunette. Jane threw her head back and inhaled deeply.

Maura lifted her feet from the cozy lap and sat up, facing Jane. She spread the blanket out so they could both be warm.

"Jane, I-I never truly thanked you for last night. I don't know If you realized it, but I've never- ever talked about my husband like that. You changed my life last night, and for that I am forever grateful." Maura smiled warmly and placed her hand over Jane's, squeezing slightly in a silent show of gratitude. "Just so you know, you're always welcome to talk to me too.

"Uh yeah- about that. I don't like talking about it..not yet at least. But, uh, thank you for the offer. I guess I should thank you for saving my life. I don't have any memories from the past few days other than being cold and hungry" Jane stared outside, watching snow pile up higher. She realized that she could have still been out there, freezing to death- losing a little life with every breath. She owed Maura her life, even if it didn't mean much.

"I'm glad I found you, you're such a strong person" Maura scooted a bit closer to the brunette. "Is this okay? I know you were bound and I don't want to intrude on your boundaries" Maura's other hand crept up the back of the couch.

Jane nodded and brought her legs to her chest. She spun sideways so she faced Maura and tried her best not to cry.

"I'm sorry if I brought back bad memories, Maur. I can leave soon if you want" Jane blushed at her nickname for the blonde.

Maura's heart jumped at the new name, and she beamed. "No, that isn't necessary. But, if you don't want to sleep in my bed tonight, that's understandable."

"I-i kind of missed sleeping next to someone. Besides, you make me feel safe Maura. How is it that someone that I've known for only a day, makes me feel so safe and protected?" Jane thought out loud. She felt very vulnerable in that moment and Maura picked up on it quickly.

"I am not one for hugging, but would you like one?" Maura said, opening her arms. Jane smirked and leaned into the embrace, setting her head on cotton covered shoulder. She looked down and started to laugh so hard, she was turning red. She honestly hadn't laughed this hard in more than a decade. Maura just looked at her incredulously, thinking she'd been insulted.

"What is so funny? Do I hug badly?" Maura demanded with a trace of hurt in her voice. Jane was still laughing too hard to speak so in lieu of words, she simply pointed to the blonde's t shirt, which she realized she never look at before putting it on.

There, in a retro white font read: I hot moms"

Maura also burst into laughter at the ridiculous shirt. She thought about how she had bought that for Garrett when she found out she was pregnant with Hunter. Surprisingly enough, the memory didn't trigger and negative feelings inside. It surely wasn't pleasant when he tossed it aside and sneered, but Maura didn't feel anxious or scared. She could only think of how beautiful the brunette looked with tears streaming down her face and rosy cheeks from laughing so hard.

The sight itself made Maura's chest burst with happiness. Jane looked angelic in the beauty of the winter storm and cradling tea, while also sharing a tiny throw blanket. The blonde took a deep breath and Jane turned her head and looked right into hazel eyes.

Maura felt her body being pulled by an invisible force. She made eye contact with Jane, letting their foreheads touch. Jane's chocolate eyes beckoned Maura with just a smoldering glance, making Maura lean forward and ghost her mouth across the chapped lips of the woman in front of her. Their noses bumped as they shared the most intimate moment either woman had ever experienced.

Jane drew back, afraid. She didn't even know this woman and she had nearly kissed her. What was she- a broken old detective with non-functioning hands, doing trying to kiss a beautiful woman with problems of her own?

Maura sat back and trailed her lips with her fingers, blazing the path that Jane had almost taken. Was she really about to kiss a stranger- what she that damaged?

They stared at each other, astonished, for a few more minutes until Jane spoke up:

"Don't kiss me if you're never going to do it again."

Maura just nodded, thinking it over. She stood up and shivered at the loss of the heat from the blanket.

"I need to go pick up Hunter. Would you like to go with- I have good locks." Maura offered, opening the door to the house. She grabbed the discarded tea cups and threw away the half eaten grapes. When she bent over the counter to put the dishes In the sink, she heard Jane clear her throat. Maura turned around to ask what Jane needed when she felt a pair of warm, lips on hers. Maura's heart jumped, didn't Jane just ask her not to kiss her unless she meant it?

"I'm sorry" Jane said when they separated. "I just couldn't help it, I know it's-" Jane was cut off by Maura's lips on hers. The blonde wove her hands into Jane's hair whereas Jane's hands found their niche on Maura's hips. They stayed that way until Maura grabbed her keys out of her pocket. Hunter was still at school and she needed to go.

"Will you join me please? I would enjoy the company and Hunter seems to have taken a liking to you." Maura slipped her coat on, she handed her spare one to Jane, who wriggled into the small pea coat. The arms were too short and the collar was too itchy, but it would work for now. They silently left- both thinking hard about what they had just done. They were both hurt and vulnerable, a volatile combination. But they could also be each other's safe place, in times when they were weak. This wasn't a decision that could be made overnight.

* * *

><p>They drove silently, Maura's thumb rubbing small circles on Jane's hand. The brunette just watched the scenery fly by. She didn't recognize any of this, how far had she travelled?<p>

They arrived at the school 2 minutes late. Hunter bolted out of the front doors, making a beeline for the Prius. He turned and waved at his teacher who had stood with him after class. Mrs. R watched Hunter climb into the backseat with his…mothers? She recognized Maura from conferences but the second one looked strangely familiar. Well, she did need glasses but refused to get them. If there was something Mrs. R hated more than not being able to see, it was those contacts that people pushed her to try. So, in spite of everyone, she just did neither. The world was much nicer when you could only see parts of it. She shrugged and walked back to her classroom slowly, taking her time to look at the art projects that her class had hung on the wall.

They were given markers, crayons, and colored pencils to draw out how their first day of school felt. Little Susie had drawn a lot of little cats and captioned it "I like cats better than school" Mrs. R laughed out loud at that one. Most of them were general statements like: Fine, boring, cool, or long. But, little Hunter had drawn three figures, one of them was pink- maybe his mother? The other was smaller with a mop of blonde hair- which she guessed was him. But, there was also a figure laying on what she assumed was snow? It was a woman, drawn in all blue, with crazy black hair, and red spots on her hands. Was that the woman who had shown up with Hunter's mother? Maybe she would talk to him about it, why was she blue? The teacher just shook her head and continued down the hall to her classroom, wondering if she really was meant for Iowa

* * *

><p>"Jane!" Hunter yelled happily, clamoring into the backseat. He buckled himself and looked at this mother. He wanted to say something to thank the woman, but he didn't want to speak out of turn. His Momma had always told him that there is a place and time for every question, and to think about how it would make the other people feel.<p>

"Hey kiddo, I'm sorry if we were late to pick you up. Your Momma is hard to get off the the porch, but I managed it." Jane winked at the grinning boy. His expression became one of deep thought and he looked at his shoes, mumbling something to himself. Finally, after just a moment, he looked back up at Jane.

"Thanks Jane, for helping Momma. I know she liked to talk to you, even if she cried." Hunter quickly looked back down in case he had said the wrong thing.

"Oh. Um" Jane's voice cracked at the sudden onslaught of emotion that his confession had caused. The love and fierce loyalty that he had for his mother made Jane so proud- even if she had only known him a short time, she knew that he was going to grow up and be a good guy. "Thank half-pint, I know that I loved talking to her too."

Maura smiled from the driver's seat, and pulled away from the curb. Maura was silent on the way home, but not because she was sad. She just loved listening to Jane talk to Hunter about a plethora of things. By the time that they pulled into the driveway, the two were talking rapidly about what sports they liked. Jane wasn't really well-versed about who was on what team now, but she did still know the rules of the game- something that hadn't changed in the near-decade she'd been gone.

They scrambled into the warm house, and discarded their coats and boots. Maura started to get the things out for dinner, when Jane's hand fell on her- insisting that she cease her actions.

"Hey, how about I cook for you? You did save my life, and I owe you that much" Jane said with a shrug, it had been too long since she'd cooked for anyone. It reminded her of her mother, wherever she and the rest of the Rizzoli family were.

"Ahh…sure! Do you want any help or would you prefer to be left alone?" Maura saw the sadness in Jane's eyes when she spoke of how long it had been since she had cooked for anyone. She hadn't thought about where Jane was before her abduction. Did she have a family, a husband…a wife? Warm lips on her cheek brought her out of her frantic thoughts. Jane brought her hand to Maura's cheek and brushed her thumb over the rosy skin.

"I like to cook alone, but you can keep me company if you'd like." Jane whispered to the blonde, who nodded slowly in return. She held up a finger, and turned towards the living room where Hunter had set up his homework on the coffee table.

"Hey kiddo, I'll be in here with Jane if you need any help, okay?"

Hunter turned to look at his Momma and nodded. She looked so happy right now with Jane standing next to her, that Hunter wasn't even sure if she'd ever been that happy before. He couldn't help but like Jane, and he knew that before her week here was up, that she would like him too. Maybe he could convince her to stay longer than a week. But, he needed to focus on his homework first. He was supposed to write a story about a time where he felt scared, so he wrote about when his Momma found Jane. He hoped that Mrs. R would enjoy it, because it was true.

Maura winked at her son and yelped when Jane lifted the blonde and set her on a counter next to the sink.

"You stay there- let the Italian Stallion run this kitchen!" Jane sang is mock bravado. Maura just gave her a warning glance, and Jane mock pouted. Goodness, the girl was gorgeous; Maura didn't even have the heart to lecture Jane about not roughhousing until her broken body had time to heal. Maura had never had someone be this tender and spontaneous with her, it was refreshing actually.

Maura sat cross-legged on the counter as Jane putted around the kitchen. In 24 hours Maura had: found a woman in the barn, thrown her in a bathtub, slept in the same bed as her, woken up with her, and kissed her. It seemed that maybe fate was giving her gift after all of the hell that she'd endured. Maybe, just maybe, Jane felt the same way.

"Penny?" Jane asked the pensive blonde, who was staring at her intently. Maura just shook her head, the honey blonde waves bouncing back and forth.

"I'm sorry Jane. I'm just still kind of thrown that I've only known you for 24 hours and you've already changed my life. I don't believe in fate, rather I'm a fan of cause and effect, but I think that maybe we were destined to meet. We are both broken, Jane, but I feel like I could heal if you were here with me. Do-do you feel it too?" Maura grabbed Jane's hand and pressed the calloused and scarred palm against her heart. The symbolism of the gesture made Jane's eyes mist a little bit. Jane grabbed onto the front of Maura's shirt, over her heart, and pulled her into the sweetest kiss she'd ever received. She lifted Maura off the counter and spun them in a circle in the kitchen. The brunette felt her heart beat faster and faster until she thought that her heart would explode in happiness. Maura had her hands tangled around the mane of black hair, while her legs wrapped around Jane's thin frame. Eventually, Jane set Maura down on the kitchen table and the kissed hurriedly again. Tears were streaming down their faces, mixing and making their faces slippery as they bared their souls to each other. Maura jumped down and hugged Jane close to her body. They trembled and they steadied each other, as they heard a small cough.

Hunter stood there and watched his Momma hug Jane as hard as she could. He didn't really understand what he had walked into, but his mother had never smiled that brightly before, and he couldn't wait to see her smile like that all of the time. He approached the two women, who were opening their embrace a bit, just big enough to let him in. He smiled and felt so loved when two sets of lips kissed each side of his face and he blushed furiously when Jane ruffled his hair lovingly.

"C'mon half pint, let's cook your Momma a perfect dinner, okay?" Jane bent down and make eye contact with Maura's son. He smiled and whispered to Jane

"Can we have spaghetti please?"

Jane and Maura burst into a fit of giggles as they nodded in unison. Even if the reality of their situation hadn't quite sunk in yet, they were gonna enjoy this night.

They talked all throughout dinner, and well into the night. Maura and Jane planned on going shopping for better fitting clothes for Jane. Hunter, was solidifying the verbal part of his report, and wondered if he could bring Jane is for show and tell on Friday. Jane had told the boy that she would think about it. She technically still didn't know where she had come from, or how long she had been gone. She didn't want to think about wherever her family was, or if they had still wanted to look for her.

They had put Hunter to bed, and shared a bottle of wine afterwards. They spoke of the future, and how they both did not want a sexual relationship in the near future. Maura was still nervous about her broken body, and the thought of intimacy alone, made Jane spiral into a panic. For now, they would stay exactly how they were.

However that night had Jane slowly remembering her journey from her captor's house, which threw her into a panic attack while she slept. Maura had woken up and tried her best to console the woman, who seemed to settle back down when Maura had taken the brunette's hand and placed in over her heart, like she done before dinner.

When Jane woke the next morning, she had felt like she'd run a marathon the day previous. She knew that she had overdone it yesterday, so she was paying for it today. She wouldn't take any of it back though. Maura had seen her turmoil and offered many solutions ranging from an asprin all the way to a massage. Trusting the former doctor, Jane had accepted all of the offers.

They had driven Hunter to school in their pajamas, too cozy to change into anything else. But, Maura had insisted on getting dolled up to go into town. Jane was uncomfortable- Maura was a much different size than her so all of her pants would be too short, and none of her shirts would cover Jane's torso.

So, Maura had decided that it was acceptable for Jane to go with her to the store in her fleece pants. Everyone else did it, this one time wouldn't hurt. Maura had given Jane a pair of old snow boots and that same too-small coat. Needless to say, Jane felt a little out of place in a the store, and was grateful when they had gathered what they needed quickly and left.

Now, they were sitting back on Maura's bed, just lying next to each other. Their hands were slowly rubbing circles on each other, while their legs occasionally brushed. Jane had donned a simple pair of Jeans and a white v-neck. She had also gotten some basic toiletries and undergarments. She was almost completely dependent on the woman next to her, and the guilt was manifesting itself.

"Hey, Maur, you know that I can't really pay you back right now. But, I w-" Jane was silenced by Maura's finger on her lips.

"I know Jane. How could you? I pulled you out of a barn nearly 40 hours ago. Don't worry about it okay? You've repaid me in ways that you'll never know. Let's go pick up Hunter, maybe we can order pizza?" Maura asked lovingly.

"I'm going assume that by "order pizza" you mean, let me make you a real Italian pizza? Otherwise, that's just mean" Jane smirked as she stood up and stretched her achy joints.

Maura just laughed and stood up and mimicked Jane's stretches. She grabbed onto Jane's arm and they bumped arms and waltzed into the kitchen, drunk on love. They saw that it was nearing time to pick Hunter up, so they decided to just leave a bit early. Maura felt strong enough to enter the building, so long as she had Jane by her side. When they got into the car, Maura asked Jane if she was okay with it.

"Hey, Jane. Will you do me a favor?" Maura started and continued as Jane nodded, "I generally am uncomfortable with large quantities of people, so I haven't visited Hunter's classroom or even been inside the school. When we registered him, they said that parents often sit in for the some of the class, to show their support and to meet their teachers and fellow students. I know that you might not want to, but will you go inside with me? I-you make me feel like I can conquer all of this fear, and I want to try." Maura explained as they made the familiar drive.

Jane thought for a moment, before nodding. "Sure", she said, nodding a bit harder to show her approval. She wasn't really upset about sitting around with a bunch of children, she really only had an aversion to being alone in public.

When they arrived at the school, they parked in the visitor lot instead of just idling near the door. Maura's hands were shaking, so Jane grabbed one and held it close. Maura relaxed and realized that it was just a school, and that no one is inside wanted to hurt her. Hunter's room was room 102, Grade: 1 room: #2. They walked down the hallway and looked at all of the art projects hanging on the wall. Jane spotted Hunter's and tugged Maura over to it.

They stared at it like it was a masterpiece. Well, for them- it was. Even if Jane was blue and Hunter's hair looked more like ramen, it was beautiful. They stood there for a long while, just holding hands and staring at the picture. They both jumped when the school bell rang, signaling the end of the day. The duo swiveled around to face the door. Suddenly, kids just poured out of the room, Hunter included. When his gaze landed on his mother and Jane, he lit up and jumped around. It was refreshing to see him act like the (almost) seven year old that he was, instead of being so serious.

Mrs. R shooed the rest of the kids out of her room. She looked up to see Hunter talking to who she assumed were his parents. Her vision was still blurry, so she begrudgingly put on her glasses that hung around her neck.

When the brunette's face came into view, Mrs. R gasped and dropped everything she was holding. Her mouth moved, sounding out words that didn't quite make it out. There, hugging one of her students was her daughter- Jane Rizzoli.

"J-Janie?!" Mrs. Rizzoli cried out, looking like a deer in headlights. Jane whipped around and let out a yelp and the teacher came crashing into her. She panicked at tried to scramble away until she smelled the smell that brought back so many memories.

"MA?!" tears poured out of Jane's eyes as she sunk into the embrace of the mother than she hadn't seen in nearly a decade. "H-H-Why- how are you here?" Jane stumbled over the basic words.

"I came here Janie- to look for you! You were last spotted here seven years ago! So, I've been searching for you ever since!" Angela cried, kissing Jane's cheeks over and over. She threw a glance at Maura, who was holding her son's hand, looking at them wide wide, scared eyes.

"Is that who's in the picture Hunter? Is that Jane?" Angela asked, the pieces all falling into place. Hunter just nodded, like he did when he was scared, and gripped his Momma's hand even tighter. "Thank you, I'm Angela Rizzoli, or Mrs. R. for short" She stuck her hand out to shake Maura's- the least that she could do.

Angela smiled through the tears and ushered them all back into her classroom. They talked for a few hours. Angela had to stop herself a few times to compose herself and make sure that Jane was alive and here, right in front of her.

Jane had gone home with Angela that night, to talk about what had become of her family and life. Maura and Hunter went home, still shell shocked by the events of today. They went to bed early; Hunter snuggled up to his mother, in the spot that Jane had just slept in earlier. They both fell asleep quickly, saddened that Jane didn't come home with them but happier that she had found some family.

Three a.m. rolled around a knock at Maura's door made her jump. She threw on a robe, and grabbed the baseball bat that she kept in her bedroom. How did he find her? She'd been gone for almost a year, why now? Where was Jane? Should she tell Hunter to go hide?

"Maura- Maura I see you in there, let me in!" Jane's voice whispered loudly. Maura felt so relieved that she nearly fainted. She unlocked the front door as Jane hurried into the room. She clung to Maura and sunk to the floor.

"They left Maura, they left my Ma because she wouldn't stop looking for me. They JUST LEFT HER" Jane cried out, clutching at the blonde. Maura sat down in the kitchen with her. She let the brunette cry on her until her sobs morphed into hiccups.

"Hey, pretty girl, we'll be your family. We will. Your mother can come to dinner and we can all laugh and drink wine. Hunter can talk about school, and we can-"

"Jane?" Hunter padded into the kitchen and looked at the woman with scared eyes. The screams and cried from the kitchen had woken him up. When he saw that his Momma was gone, he had bolted out of the bedroom to protect his mother, until he saw the familiar form on the floor with Maura.

"J-Jane, are you crying 'cause Momma helped you out too?" Hunter asked, remembering their talk the day before.

Jane smiled through the tears and just patted the spot on her lap, where the small boy gingerly sat. Jane brought the mother and son into an embrace. The love radiating from the two made the pain of the news she's received earlier, dull a tiny bit. That's where they sat for the whole night, curled up with Jane on the kitchen floor. They loved each other as hard as they could, opening their damaged hearts to let it all in, even for just a little bit.


	46. RedJumpsuitApparatus-YourGuardianAngel

**thanks for bearing with this random story worked into the story! Here's the epilogue, hope that you like it! :)**

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><p>"HIGHER JANE, HIGHER!" Hunter yelled as he pumped his legs, just like Jane had taught him. He hadn't learned how to swing properly and when Jane had heard this, she dragged Hunter and his mother to the park. It was a warm day halfway through summer break, and Maura just so happened to have the day off of work.<p>

Jane pushed the little boy on the swings as high as she felt comfortable. As soon as he got to the point where she could not reach him, they started to slow it down. Maura sat in the swing next to her son, staring at how Jane was so careful and protective of them. They had gotten really close in the last few months. Maura trusted Jane with her life, which was great because Jane had just talked to the Chief of Police, and was due to interview with the Sheriff's office soon.

Until Jane had mentioned being a detective in the past, Maura had forgotten about the badge that had pulled off of the woman when she'd been found. She never asked why she still wore it after nine years of being held captive but honestly, she didn't want to know.

"Momma! Look at me!" Hunter cried as Jane ran around with him on her broad shoulders. After she'd be properly nourished and washed, Jane felt so much healthier. Maura knew that Jane was gorgeous, but seeing her with her son made Jane look so radiant, so divine- carefree and relaxed. Her dimples were a permanent fixture now that the brunette had a reason to smile all of the time. They ran back towards Maura, arms spread like airplanes. They ran up to the beaming blonde and Hunter placed a kiss on her head, and Jane then placed a kiss on her warm and inviting lips. A happy sigh is all Maura could manage after all of that affection.

She grabbed the blanket off the bench and shook it out. After all the twigs and rocks were moved out from under it, Maura laid down on her stomach. She propped her chin in her hands and swung her legs back and forth like a giddy schoolgirl. Eventually, Jane ran back and laid down next to her. She rolled onto her side and stared and the blonde hair that was floating in the wind. Freckles littered the woman's face and that one stubborn dimple made Jane's heart just melt. She was so happy with this little makeshift family. Maura realized she was being watched and turned to face Jane.

"I love you" Maura said, kissing Jane softly. Jane rolled them so she was on top of the woman and dipped down to place another kiss on her nose.

"I love you too pretty girl, I love you and him. I love our family." Jane blushed at the sudden admission. "Maura, I know this is a tough question and we agreed to let the past be the past but, are you still legally married?" Jane flinched, knowing that this would crush the blonde's mood but she needed to know.

"Yes, I suppose that I am. Why so? Does it bother you?" Maura said curtly. Why would Jane bring this up now?

"Well, maybe we could find an attorney to handle this discreetly. I don't want to put your life danger because I-I" Jane stopped and sighed. She rolled back off of Maura, who cocked her head to the side out of curiosity.

"Because why Jane?"

"Because I want to marry you." Jane whispered.

Maura just smiled, tears springing into the corners of her eyes. In that very moment she knew that all the trials and tribulations that she had ever gone through, were worth it. Just to hear someone say that they wanted her, made every single scar on her heart, disappear.


	47. Bad Books - Baby Shoes

this is an older fic that I wrote for the rizzlesfanfic challenge but never got to upload. So, here is it. :)

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><p>'Look at that ugly ass wallpaper' you think, trying to distract yourself from the overwhelming pain. You've been shot, maimed, beaten, and rendered helpless. But, none of those things hurt quite like this.<p>

The green hippos and the pink penguins only piss you off. The least they could do in this torturous room is give you something interesting to look at. To your left there's a remote that works the tiny television in the corner. Who wants to watch soaps though? Not you, that's for sure.

You feel the familiar scorching heat building in your abdomen and you tense, waiting for the pain to begin again. Suddenly, your muscles are on fire and you cannot handle it.

Reds and yellows burst from left and right as you shut your eyes and hard as you can, blocking out the horrible feeling of the contraction.

No one is here for you right now. Maura is down the hall, yelling at your doctor for having you restrained. He didn't know your past, he still doesn't. It's not his fault, but Maura needs to let off steam somehow.

The Braxton-Hicks contractions you'd been having all week had run your poor wife ragged. She even had admitted that she knew all about them from her pediatric rotation but all that knowledge flew out the window you had said her name in the only voice you had managed.

Now, you are stuck in this hole of a hospital. Your due day was yesterday and your contractions had moved to 5 minute apart.

Your body is shaking with the exhausting cramping of your muscles. You can't do this, you've decided. This is too hard, you'll go with the C-section after all. Maura be damned. She'll be so pissed at you. Does it matter right now?

No.

It doesn't.

Finally, your muscles relax and you let loose a shuddering breath. You look at the clock: 5:45a.m.

You've been here for 10 hours.

10 hours of poking, prodding, and anguish. You want this child out of you, and you want to go home and sleep next to your wife again.

You can't even see your feet, that's a fairly new development, you swore that you could a week ago.

Footsteps.

You can feel the pain start again and you cry out. You cry out for your wife because you cannot do this alone even though you kicked her out of the room.

"MAURAAAA"

Look, there she is. Goddamn she is gorgeous. Her hair is so pretty after she's slept on it; it's your favorite. She's been crying, her poor eyes are bloodshot. Look what you've done Jane. You made your wife cry on the greatest day of her life.

You feel her cold hand intertwine with your sweating palms. You need her here. You are are scared but won't admit it.

The fury of a contraction hits you like a brick wall and you let out every word your Ma put soap in your mouth for ever saying. You spit and hiss, you must look a right mess, a feral child with no control over what is happening with her body.

Then, Dr. Whatshisname and his Nurse Busybody look at each other, exchanging a look. Not just a look, that look. There are no words in any language that you speak that can explain that look.

"Okay Jane, it's time to push for us, okay? the doctor says. His moustache looks like a turd when he fakes a smile. great.

"C'mon pretty girl, I'm right here" Maura squeezes your hand and her eyes are beautiful.

They are scared and vulnerable, but courageous and magical. They are shining with so much pride for you that your eyes water. just a little bit.

It's coming, this is the one. It kind of feel like a freight train barreling towards you.

Here it comes:

and you push. you fucking push.

You are being torn in half and it is too much. You cry out ask to stop, you don't make sense. Maura is crying. why is Maura crying? The tide of pain recedes and you feel your blood surging.

Breathe in, breathe out. Your forehead is dripping. The lights are too bright, the machines in the background sound like that stupid music that Frost listens to in the cruiser. Skillets. yeah, skillets, that one. It's almost terrifying knowing that the pain will begin again in less than a minute.

Maura is sobbing, it must kill her to see you in pain. She puts little kisses on your face. Her hair feels like velvet on your rough skin and she smells like delicious roses.

She is heaven. But, hell is coming again and it burns like leaves in fall.

"One last push baby girl, then it'll all be over" that whisper that used to make you tremble in anticipation is the only thing keeping you in this room right now.

"Jane? Stay here pretty girl. I'm here. I need you here. You need to stay and help us ok? I'm so proud of y-you" her voice is weak. She is never weak. Maura is fortified, your shelter in the storm

Finally you feel yourself turn inside out. It is done. All of your hard work is worth it. Nine months of misery and swollen feet. You are hollow, and it's foreign to are bare for the world and your eyes are closing. All you need is to hear-

it's so quiet.

The only noise is Maura's muffled sobs.

The beeping has stopped on the machines and you wait for that sound.

You whip your head to the right at the machines. Everything has stilled, the clock is wavering perpetually at 5:50

to the left is Maura crying so hard she isn't breathing. Her hand is covering her mouth, her face is a deep red. She needs to breathe someone needs to help her breathe!

Where's your baby? Why isn't he crying?

Where?

You look down and the nurse is holding a perfect bundle with 10 fingers and 10 toes. How you can count right now is a mystery. You're so exhausted that your thoughts are merging.

Baby. That's my baby,

Why are the penguins laughing at me? You shouldn't be mean to the wallpaper

Why isn't he crying?

Why is Maura crying and your son is not?

Why is he...blue? What did you do wrong? God fucking damnit Jane what did you do wrong?

You can feel the sorrow washing off of Maura in waves, she's going to drown.

You grab the hand that is gripping the side of the bed so her sobs don't knock her over.

Her hand is cold and white. She's shaking.

Look at your wife, she's so beauti-NO!

"WHY ISN'T HE CRYING" your voice ( is that even your voice) is so sad, hollow, defeated?

No.

This can't happen

you did it all right.

You stopped going out when you caught a case

you ate kale, even if it gave you heartburn

you went to lamaze

you gave up your service weapon two weeks ago

you did...ev g

You're going to pass out, you can't yo-

There it is. A long, wretched cry that broke the terrible silence in the maternity ward.

Your son is screaming, fists waving around and feet akimbo.

you've never felt so whole.

Maura!

You turn to the side with sleepy eyes and she is silent, too scared to speak. You make eye contact and she moves to kiss your cheek. She is home, she is safe and warm. She is blues and greens and soft kisses with lingering glances. She is moans at night and smiles in the morning. She is everything loud. You never want to hear that kind of silence again.

"go to sleep pretty girl I'll be-"

You do.


	48. Everclear - Wonderful

**this is another one that I wrote for the challenges. I might take a tiny hiatus to gather my bearings. But, it shouldn't last long. Thanks to everyone who reviews/favs/follows, every single one of you is a sunbeam on a cloudy day :D**

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><p>"Hey Mama, will you please stay with us? Nonna always says that she misses you."<p>

Maura sighed and frowned, they had been over this before. "No, Lee, I already told you that I can't. I'm not welcomed, and I want you to see your Ma; you haven't seen her since Thanksgiving."

The little girl walking down the street with Maura just kicked at a few loose rocks on the icy sidewalk. She really missed it when her Ma and Mama were together, they were in love and had even gotten married. But, four years ago, when Lee was only 6, they had gotten a divorce. So, now she had her Ma and Nonna in the house on Beacon Hill, and her Mama's house on the other end of Boston.

Noticing her daughter's sullen expression, Maura stopped them and put her mittened hand on her beautiful daughter's face, rubbing where the cold had turned her pale cheeks pink. Looking into a set of hazel eyes, mirroring her own, Maura kissed her daughter's nose like she'd been doing for a decade. The M.E. noticed that Lee had taken extra time to do her long brown hair in fishtail braid, a near replica of the her wedding hair. She must have been up to something, and Maura was not about to fall for any of it.

"Lee, darling, you know that I love you. But, that is no longer my family, as much as I miss them. I know this divorce is still hard on you sweetie, but everyone just needs to heal. Can you respect that?" Maura said softly, seeing guilt etch itself into Lee's face. She knew that the little girl just wanted her family back together but, her and Jane had not split amicably and she hadn't spoken to the brunette in person in more than 3 years. They usually communicated over email, their respective phone numbers lying untouched in their contact lists. Maura had this deep seeded fear of coming into contact with the lanky detective for reasons purely fostered in her self conscious thoughts.

She removed her hands from her daughter's cheeks, and they continued their walk up the stairs. Lee noticed her Mama's hands were shaking a bit as they walked up the stairs to the house that they all used to live in. The tiny blonde realized that her Mama hadn't been here since the divorce; maybe this wasn't such a good idea. She had pestered both parents into letting her celebrate the New Year with Jane and her family. Well, legally, Maura still had the Rizzoli name, even if she no longer had the part in the family that she used to cherish.

She stood back as Lee bounded up the slippery stairs and rang the bell. Maura rocked back and forth in her leather knee high boots, wondering if she could just go to The Robber and maybe catch Korsak or something.

As soon as the door opened, Maura could hear the classic Rizzoli banter that was pretty common in a get together as large as this was. Jane answered the door in a pretty inebriated state, hugged her daughter, and looked up at Maura. Jane's eyes widened and she stepped outside onto the concrete.

"Honey, go see if Nonna needs any help with the food, okay Leelee?" Jane mumbled, using her childhood nickname. Hopefully she would have fun at this party with her Ma and brothers in tow. Jane motioned for the little blonde to shut the door behind her and turned toward Maura, leaning against the doorframe for much needed support.

"Maur, erm Maura, thanks for bringing Lee over; I know that you had to walk. I got your email saying that your locks had frozen but we are all a little tipsy here, if you hadn't noticed. Tommy's sober though, so no worries about squirt okay? Jane sputtered nervously, this is not how she planned on starting a conversation with her wife. Ex wife.

"You're welcome, Jane. I figured she hadn't seen you in a bit. It's not your fault that Boston had a murder spree on Christmas." Maura said gently, knowing that it was a tender moment for Jane to not be able to spend Christmas with her daughter. They had never needed the court's opinion on custody, they always generally agreed on it.

"Listen, Maur, I know that we haven't really been civil, but it's going to be midnight in about 2 minutes and you have a long walk home. How about you come in and we can talk like old times, you can sleep in Lee's room with her and then we'll drive you both back tomorrow? It's only fair that we feed you and warm you since you two walked almost an hour to get here." Jane said opening the door to the house once more, ushering Maura inside and taking her coat.

"JANIE IT'S ALMO-oh. Hello Maura!" Angela said with a sad smile, looking as if she was having an internal struggle. Finally deciding on her course of action, the older woman put her arms around her daughter in law. She knew that Jane still loved her, but just hadn't been ready for so much commitment so soon. Maura hugged back, conveying that she was ok and tonight would be ok as well.

"Maura, nice to see you" Tommy said, giving her the half-body hug they used to after Tommy had realized that Maura was into a different Rizzoli.

"You as well Tommy, thank you" Maura took the offered wine that was being held by Angela.

The M.E. took a large sip, she would need it for tonight.

Jane raced around the corner, turning off all of the lights.

"The ball's gonna drop soon! We only have 30 seconds!" Jane grabbed for Maura's hand, dragging her into the living room to watch the television program that had been a Rizzoli tradition since the program had started to air.

"That phrase makes me think of the 4th grade puberty video, Janie" Frankie yelled, making a disgusted face and turning away from the group.

Maura knew that she needed to admit something to Jane before she let year be over. She needed to let those feelings and memories be gone with the old year. So, with 10 seconds to go on the big clock, Maura leaned close enough to Jane to smell the musky scent of a hard day at work and whispered in her ear.

"Jane, I still love you"

Jane's face contorted in a painful way, looking like she was just punched in the abdomen.

"5, 4, 3, 2, -"

"I still love you too Maura" Jane said, biting her bottom lip and bringing Maura in for a small kiss, ringing in the New Year with love.

"1!"

Maura sucked on Jane's lip, releasing it with a pop.

"Happy New Year, Jane."


	49. Lights - Toes

Maura shifted uncomfortably on the cement slab she was seated on. It was very cold, and it was catching her dress in damaging ways. If Jane hadn't been playing in this game, Maura would most likely be at home with a documentary and a nice glass of wine. A gymnasium full of rowdy detectives and too-eager rookies was not exactly the place to be on a Friday night. But, she loed her best friend and would support her in anything she did, even if meant ruining a $1000 dress and eating over-cooked hot dogs out of a paper container.

Tonight was the annual Homicide vs. Vice charity basketball game. For one night out of the year, all of BPD came to the rookie gym and played three games of basketball. The first was all-female, the second was male, and the third was co-ed. All of the proceeded went to the Junior Detective program. A program where kids could job-shadow anyone in the BPD for free, and learn how to progress further into that field while still in school. It was solely funded by this night, so tickets ( and food ) were ridiculous prices. But, Maura would pay for any of it because she loved the cause.

Maura secretly hoped that Jane did not win tonight because the winning department always got treated to a round of drinks for every point difference by the losers. Last year, Jane had won with the entire female team, and had been so drunk by the end of the night that she and Frankie had performed "Queen of Hearts" by Juice Newton for everyone to see...and record. That video, thanks to a tech-savvy Frost, had quickly been taken down.

Thankfully, Maura had tagged along that night so Jane made it home in one piece. The blonde had become rather protective of her detective since that night, even if Jane rarely ever needed it. She also would never admit it, but she adored watching Jane play sports. It was the raw power mixed with passion that left Maura breathless.

* * *

><p>Jane bounced on her feet while waiting for the signal. She had spent the first half of her day debating on wearing her long shorts that she usually wore, or the short spandex shorts that the rest of the team was wearing. The longer ones didn't show off her legs, but the small ones didn't get in the way as much. So, she'd decided on both- just in case.<p>

She did some quick stretches and fixed her ponytail for the umpteenth time. She hadn't played ball since last fall with Frankie, and didn't want to look stupid in front of Maura. For some reason, she felt the need to impress the blonde. Maura was the type who didn't think about things that way, but Jane still wanted her to be proud.

Korsak's whistle startled Jane back into reality. Alright Jane, it's game time, come on.

* * *

><p>Maura heard the sharp whistle that signified the beginning of the game and tried her best to focus. She saw Homicide pour out of the one locker room as Vice came out of the other. They all took their respective spots while Maura tried her best to see which one was Jane. When Maura spotted the lithe brunette in just a BPD jersey and long shorts, she swooned. The game started and jogged to halfcourt to meet Martinez for the jump. Maura knew that they had a history, but Jane had yet to clue her in on any of it. The ref stood in between them with the ball, glancing back and forth between the two. He blew the whistle and both sides jumped for the ball.<p>

Maura's jaw dropped at the sight of Jane Rizzoli stretched out in midair. Her jersey had ridden up, revealing a tan set of hips that normally never saw the light of day. Her biceps were flexing as she tried her best to knock the ball onto her side of the court. Martinez had a few inches on her so he had the upperhand. Jane had her game face on, and it threw Maura for a loop. Jane landed with a grunt and clenched her fists angrily. She took off down the court to find the guy that she was supposed to be guarding. Jane had already started off on the wrong foot and the game was only four seconds in.

When halftime rolled around Homicide was down by nearly fourteen, and Jane had pretty much given up. She jogged over to the stands were Maura sad and plopped down to her best friend. By the looks of it, Maura was not very interested in the specs.

"Hey will you hold these for me?" Jane asked, stepping out of the long shorts she was wearing. Maura's jaw dropped at the small spandex shorts on Jane's long legs. Jane caught Maura staring and struck a Captain Morgan pose. Maura promptly blushed and tried to best to look elsewhere.

"S-Sure Jane, good luck!" Maura nodded, still avoiding the tan lean legs in front of her. She could feel her heartbeat increase as Jane lept down the cement seats back down towards the court. For the duration of the rest of the game, Maura could not stop staring at Jane like an animal. She didn't even realize when people started to laugh at her for staring so intently.

Suddenly, the homicide side of the gym jumped up and down cheering loudly as Maura looked around frantically. She refocused back onto the court and saw Jane doing a victory dance. The timer beeped, signalling that whatever shot Jane had just made had won the game. Maura stood up and clapped for her best friend. Jane turned to face her and gave her the biggest smile. Jane must have feeling the after rush of her game winning shot because she ran up to Maura and tipped her into a deep kiss.

Maura responded almost immediately, wrapping her hands around the brunette's sweaty neck, and kicking a heeled foot out to maintain her balance. The whole gym then erupted into cheers and Jane felt Maura smile into their kiss. When they broke apart, the both had matching grins on their faces. Maura pressed a quick kiss to Jane's cheek and sat back down, as Jane ran back onto the court to celebrate with her teammates.

Wait.

Did Jane just kiss her?


	50. Metallica - The Unforgiven

"Okay guys, you can take him back to the morgue" Maura Isles said and she rose from her crouching position. She snapped her latex gloves off and tossed them into an evidence bag, making sure to seal it and store it away before she touched anything else at the crime scene. She looked towards Jane and nodded- signaling that she was done and was ready to pack up and head back to BPD.

"What are you thinking Maur? I know that you don't guess, but do the signs point to homicide?" Jane asked, leading them out of the bloody room.

"It seems that the angle in which Mr. Robbins was shot indicates that he was killed execution style. Of course, we need to test the-"

"Yeah, okay Maur. I've got it. See you back at the station okay? Let's go get subs from Capriotti's when you send off those test, okay?" Jane interrupted while walking back towards the stairs. Maura just nodded and smiled at the brunette, who winked and smiled in return. Jane disappeared down the stairs and Maura heard the detective's cruiser start up a moment later.

The blonde just looked around the room again, taking in all the blood-stained art on the walls and the furniture covered in brain matter. She noticed a photo sitting on the bed and stared curiously at it. There was Mr. Robbins, his wife Mary, and their...son? The Medical Examiner hadn't heard them mention a child when they spoke of the family, was he still here?

Maura decided that it wouldn't hurt to check some of the rooms in the fairly large house. Maybe the boy was only here part of the time, and would miss the whole ordeal of his father being shot. Maura pushed open a few doors only to see bookshelves and rubber totes. There was one door left at the end of the long hall. The door had a little lion on the front with the name "Billy" etched into it. The blonde felt her heart break knowing that this little boy had just lost his father.

She pushed open the door and could tell that this room belonged to a young boy. There was a jungle theme painted on the walls, with hand-drawn animals all over the forest background. There were stuffed animals all over, and even a whole shelf with books on animals. Maura delicately sat on a tiny toddler bed, and picked up one of the pillows, hugging it to herself. She still had the urge to bear children, but she did not want to take that challenge on alone. So, she'd tucked those hopes and dreams deep down in her heart and made sure that those insecurities didn't see the light of day.

Suddenly, she heard little noises coming from the closet. Her mouth dropped in horror and she got up and threw the doors open to reveal a little boy, no more than four years old, still in his pajamas and trying so hard to be brave.

"Oh no! Baby boy! Are you okay?" Maura cried, holding out her two hands to the boy to show that mean no harm

"They got Daddy. Daddy!" The boy wailed, climbing into Maura's embrace and crying into her hair. Maura had tears pouring down her face- how could they miss a child in the house? Liver temp showed that the father had been killed almost seven hours ago, had he been in here the whole time?

"I'm so sorry sweet boy" Maura murmured into his golden brown curls. "Sweetie, can you show me where your clothes are. Let's get you changed." He led her to a blue dresser and just pointed helplessly. She chose a new outfit for him and handed it to the boy. She closed her eyes to give him some privacy, but kept one hand on his back to make sure that he was still there.

"You a police? Can I see a badge?" the young boy asked Maura, who smiled and took out her badge. It was enough to please the child who then handed her his discarded night wear.

"I work for the police, I'm here to help you" Maura gave him another once over to see if he was okay, or if he had any potential evidence on him. When she was satisfied, she bagged his clothes and knelt back down to him.

"Is your name Billy?" Maura asked. When the boy nodded, she continued her questions. "Would it be okay if I called my friend Jane to come pick us up? She's a police officer with a badge, and a puppy. Would that be okay?

"Does she know who has Daddy?" Billy asked- his little chin quivering at the thought of his father.

"I don't know sweet boy, but we can call her and ask her." Maura took out her phone and dialed Jane's number putting her on speakerphone.

"Rizzoli!" Jane's husky voice barked out of the phone, making both Maura and Billy jump.

"Jane, you're on speakerphone. Guess who's with me" Maura asked with an edge in her voice- she was very upset that the police missed this child. Maura could basically hear Jane shrugging into the phone, so she answered her own question.

"Billy, Billy Robbins. He was in a closet Jane. How did you guys miss that?" Maura took a moment to calm herself. She was dangerously close to yelling at someone, and she surely didn't want little Billy to see that.

"I'm on my way- be there in five" Jane's clipped tone was hushed when Maura angrily jabbed at the end call button. She looked over at Billy, who looked very uncomfortable.

"What's wrong kiddo?" Maura asked, feeling his forehead for any signs of a fever.

Billy just grimaced and said, "I gotta pee"

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><p>Five awkward minutes later, Maura and the boy both exited the bathroom on the lower level of the house. She waited for Jane to pull up and take this child back to the station. She'd given her ample time to grab one of the child seats that BPD kept in storage in cases like this. Billy sat in her lap in one of the stools at the breakfast bar snuggled into her chest. His tiny hands were wrapped around her neck, and Maura could feel his little fingers playing with her hair. She rubbed his back soothingly and fought down the pain in her chest. She could not get too attached, he was not hers. He was a poor soul left behind by his family. His father was dead and his mother was nowhere to be found.<p>

Jane came barreling through the door and stopped so quickly, that she actually felt her torso keep going while her legs stopped in her tracks. There, in front of her, was her best friend, slowly rocking a little boy who was falling asleep on the blonde's shoulder.

Maura quietly shushed the detective and gingerly stood, ,setting the boy in the hollow of her hip. Jane just nodded, still unable to speak at the sight of Maura and a child. She was feeling something so powerful that she was rendered silent.

Was it...love? She looked the woman walking down to the cruiser and and everything just clicked.

She loved Maura.

She loved Maura holding children.

Children.

She loved Maura holding their children.

The influx of adoration and admiration nearly knocked Jane off of her feet. Maura turned around, her blonde waves bouncing slightly as she gave Jane an exasperated look. Maura was becoming impatient at the tall brunette, who was just staring at her from the doorway of the Robbin's house.

* * *

><p>"Hey Maur, T.J. has a game tonight and Tommy can't take him. I'll be home at like 9 if that's okay?" Jane asked her wife as they entered BPD.<p>

"Sure. I have a few programs recorded on the DVR that I need to watch before the are deleted. Should I make dinner for you or are you gonna get pizza with the team?" Maura stood on her toes to give Jane a quick peck before splitting off to their separate sides of the building.

Before their domestic conversation could continue any further, Cavanaugh walked up to them with the most puzzled look on his face.

"You both...have a visitor." he said, shaking his head at two women who still held hands on their way into the station - even after six years of marriage.

They just looked at each other and shrugged. Last time they had a visitor, it was Frank Sr. trying to make Jane feel guilty that he had lung cancer from 60 years of smoking. They followed Sean into Interview Room 1 and sat across from a teenager. He was dressed in a school uniform and had bright blue eyes. His golden brown hair was cut short, and it he looked at them with such wonder that Maura was actually starting to feel uncomfortable.

"Y-you're Maura, right?" the boy's voice was small and soft. His voice wavered with emotion at the question.

"Yes, I am. Do I know you- I'm sorry I don't remember you." Maura racked her brain for anyone she'd come into contact recently.

"My name is Billy Robbins, you met me ten years ago." He looked up with tears in his eyes as realization dawned on her features. She held out one of her hands and covered her gaping mouth with the other. Jane just sat there silent. Why would this kid be here now? What had happened?

"I have no one. My mother died. I have no one. You're the only person I've ever felt safe with other than my mother." The boy cried, obviously still hurting over his mother's passing.

"What happened baby boy?" Maura asked, blushing at the sudden term of endearment that came automatically. She hadn't seen this boy in nearly ten years, why were all these feelings coming back to her. She was nearly 50- far too old to think about starting a family.

"Breast cancer. She fought it for six years. But, she just couldn't hold on any longer. I don't want to be a ward of the state. Please. Think about it?" The boy begged.

"Where's your social worker or your lawyer?" Jane finally entered the conversation. This was now how they pictured starting a family, not at all.

"I don't even know how to get one of those. All I know is that my mom kept your card for all of those years after you returned me to her. She told me when she got sick that if anything happened to her, to go looking for you because she could tell that you guys were good people.

"Let me make a few calls. Lieutenant, can he stay in here for the day? I don't know where he could go otherwise?" Jane asked, already dialing the number to her favorite family court judge, who also happened to play in the BPD softball league. Cavanaugh nodded and waved his hand, silently agreeing to whatever was unfolding in that room. Whatever transpired after today's events, he knew that Rizzoli and Isles would be able to handle it, just like they had ten years ago.


	51. The Dirty Heads - Lay Me Down

Jane wiped her sweaty brow with her dirty gloved hand. It was a hot day in Boston, and out in the rural areas with no protection from the sun, it was sweltering. She threw a glance at Maura, who looked like deer in headlights while leaning against the car. She never really agreed to this plan, she'd simply nodded when Jane had laid out her plan. Honestly, Maura wanted to nothing to do with this- she had too much at stake.

Jane threw the shovel aside and stormed over to the Prius. Maura's look of fear softened slightly when Jane put her hands on both of her shoulders. The blonde even decided to ignore the dirt that they left behind on her blouse. Jane's touch was soothing to her soul- making her remember that they were safe now, nothing could hurt them.

"C'mon Maura, try to look at least a little relieved. Remember that your job isn't the only one at risk." Jane husked, licking her salty lips. When Maura's expression changed from fearful to unamused, Jane knew they'd be okay. There were okay now.

Casey was dead.

* * *

><p>"Jane, I- I think I just saw Casey out my backdoor! I thought it was Sean at first, because he came home with your mother. But, his car is gone. I'm really scared Jane, didn't you break it off with him this morning. I hope he knows that you- aghh!"<p>

Jane had sprinted to Maura's house from a few blocks down the road. Casey was blowing up her phone and she'd just wanted to think. So, of course when she needed to think, her body tended to gravitate towards Maura's house. Something about a cold beer and platonic snuggles made all of Jane's troubles simply melt away. Her phone was on silent and she didn't notice the blinking light until she was about 5 blocks away. She'd actually taken her phone out to avoid walking into Maura's house while she wasn't dressed- which had happened just last week. They'd just laughed it off and shared a bottle of wine.

Jane pressed the button to play her voicemail and when the little yell came from the blonde, Jane had started running as fast as she could. She ran right to her Ma's guest house and slammed the door behind her. Angela had ran into the main room, with a sleepy looking Lieutenant behind her. Jane threw her phone at the still sleepy woman and pointed to her gun, giving Cavanaugh a pointed glance- which he understood. He led Angela back into the bedroom and Jane heard an audible gasp when her mother had reached the same point in the message that Jane had stopped at.

She slinked out the door and did her best to circle the property. Maura's guest bedroom window was cracked a bit- probably to let some fresh air into the hardly used room. Jane had a little trouble taking out the screen without any noise, but eventually she felt it give way. She hooked her long leg into the frame and hoisted herself into Maura's house. The heavy silence of the home worried Jane more than anything else. Maura was home, she'd seen the car parked out front. Jane drew her gun and peeked out of the bedroom. The hallway was dark and empty, this was just a guest hallway anyways, so it didn't really get used that much.

She stepped lightly towards the kitchen, where she saw a teary Maura tied to a chair. Her normally pristine make-up was smeared down her blotchy face. She had a split lip and a suspicious cut across her cheek. She lifted her head and made eye contact with Jane, bright green eyes widened as she quickly looked towards the living room and Jane understood. She was leading her with her vision. She needed a diversion- something to startle whoever had ambushed the honey blonde. She thought for a moment as she realized that the controls for Maura's house alarm were just a few feet ahead of her.

She aimed her gun to the other side of the wall, and moved forward silently. Her heartbeat was pounding in her ears, and she felt every single hair on her neck stand up. She flipped open the plastic faceplate and entered 7499654. Jane thought for a moment about how it must seem odd for her to know Maura's house code. She also knew her bank pin, her email password, and her social security number- she really did trust the detective with her life.

The green screen of the panel glowed in the darkness of the hallway. Jane pushed the button labelled "911" and kept moving forward. She heard Maura cry out again and poked her head around the corner. There, towering over Maura, was Casey Jones.

He clenched his hand painfully, after a few blows, his hand had started to sting from Maura's face. He could see the dark red bruises start to form on the M. E.'s cheekbones and he smiled. She'd ruined his plan, so he'd ruin her life- it was simple really.

Maura was trying her hardest not to call out or provoke the crazed man in front of her. She'd noticed his lack of a limp this morning, but thought it was best to just leave it alone. Jane was already in a bad mood, and she tended to get snappy when Maura even mentioned her sometimes boyfriend. Casey backhanded her once more and she tasted blood. Her gaze went to Jane out of habit and she quickly averted her gaze when she saw the detective with her gun raised. Maura needed to find something to focus on, so she stared at her refrigerator and all of the pictures and drawings littering it. Every single scrap of paper, every single magnet, and everything single photo on the metallic surface was a reason to live, to make it through this.

Maura was trying to spot a potential weapon, when Jane revealed herself by firing a warning shot into Casey's shoulder. He spun around and pulled a scalpel out of his pocket as he maneuvered behind Maura. She felt the cold steel of the familiar object and wondered if she'd soon end up on the table that she'd only just left a few hours prior.

"Casey, what the fuck are you doing?" Jane asked angrily, stepping minutely closer to the duo. She could see Maura trembling as the scalpel trailed back and forth over her neck. Jane's sweaty grip hardened under the warm gun as she took one step closer again.

"I'm just relaying a message Jane. You see, you're not a very good detective, you ignorant child. You never once questioned my injury, never. Not even after I slipped and said that my MRI was wrong. But you see, your little "Doctor Isles' caught on right away. See? She may be a social retard, but her big ass brain makes up for it, right Maur?" Casey sneered, purposely using the detective's nickname for the blonde. He burst into laughter when realization flooded onto the hardened face of the brunette. Her eyes narrowed and she raised the gun towards his head. He wasn't afraid of her, he'd accepted his fate long ago.

"You see, when I was training for the military, I met a fine fellow who shared some of my interests. I was just a young boy, fresh out of college, and he was a middle aged doctor with gorgeous plans for the world. I think you know him actually Jane. Charles Hoyt? Yeah, that same one."

He'd been playing her the whole time. Ever since he'd come back the first time and they'd met at her award ceremony. He'd strung her along the whole time- and Charles Hoyt had won again. Hoyt always won.

Maura noticed that Casey had loosened the grip on the scalpel and she thought as quick as she could. Based upon his height and her chair, she should be able to at least knock the wind out of him. So, she looked at Jane and threw her head back as hard as she could, headbutting Casey right in the groin. Jane took this opportunity to fire the last of her rounds into the body of a man that she'd shared a bed with only 36 hours prior

She watched him fall and actually felt a bit sad for the nice boy she'd known in school. Maura made a noise near a yelp and a cry for help. Jane looked her over and slowly took off the tape that bound her mouth. The look of pain that Maura gave her, broke her heart into pieces.

"He turned off the alarm Jane. I'm sorry I couldn't tell you." Maura's voice cracked with emotion and pain. She tried to stand on shaky legs and fell into Jane's arms when her muscles protested too much to keep upright.

Jane led her to the couch and began to think of a plan. Casey looked innocent to the general public, and Jane could lose her shield for shooting a civilian. She hadn't called for backup and she had only thrown her phone to Cavanaugh as evidence. IAB was even harder on the people who were unlucky enough to have to fire at a man in uniform. In short, Jane's job was on the line.

"Jane, what are we gonna do?" Maura asked innocently. She had no idea the repercussions of what the detective had just done.

"You need to pack a bag. Please Maura, just agree with me this one time." Jane pleaded with the broken blonde, who really had no energy left to do any other than comply with Jane's request.

* * *

><p>So, they'd packed up Maura's car and driven as far as they could . stopping only in Andover to refuel. There, they'd driven up into the country and now they sat in the middle of a field. Jane was dumping dirt onto a patch of the terrain that seemed to be missing some grass. Maura was fanning herself, anxious for their future.<p>

Jane stripped off her sweaty shirt, leaving her in a sports bra and a pair of low slung track pants. Maura's mouth went dry at the sight of Jane's muscles working in the sunlight. Little droplets of sweat littered her tanned body. Finally she stood up and wiped her brow once again.

"Let em know Maur" Jane husked, stripping off her pants to reveal a pair of boxers that we sticking to Jane's sweaty legs.

Maura hit send on the phone and threw it on the ground, smashing it with her heel. She nodded at Jane and opened her side of the car. The brunette followed suit and then just sat in the car for a moment.

"So, where to now Jane?" Maura turned on the ac in the tiny prius.

"I don't know yet, we'll drive till we hit a city. Cavanaugh said that it would be too hot for a little bit, I'm official on a LoA and so are you. I think a month or two will give them time to sort it out, okay?" Jane started the car and they moved forward, away from all the evil that had transpired this weekend.

"I trust you Jane, with my life" Maura said earnestly. She truly trusted Jane with her future, which is why she was sitting in a car after watching Jane bury a man who'd tried to kill her. It was okay though, because now she had Jane all to herself.

Maura just smiled and laid back in her seat, they were going to be driving for a while and she needed to rest.


	52. Chris Rice - When Did You Fall

"Oh my God, I owe you the biggest coffee ever Frost! Thank you so much!" Jane punched her partner's shoulder affectionately. She was so thankful that he'd called in sick on Monday; she needed to dip out of work early to go to to the store and be back in time to see Maura before she left for the night.

"Get em tiger" Frost winked at Jane. He was a little sad that she'd never be his, but he knew that she loved another. The smile that Jane had been wearing all week made everyone wonder who had captured the detective's heart. Jane hadn't really told him much other than she needed the afternoon off to plan an impromptu date.

Jane just beamed and jogged towards the elevator. She checked her watch and estimated that she had about an hour to put her plan into motion. Hopefully she would make it in time, or else things could get pretty awkward.

* * *

><p>Maura rubbed the bridge of her nose in a halfhearted attempt to rid herself of the vicious headache that had ruined the last half of her day. She opened the door to her office and flipped off the lights. She used her phone to light up her path a bit and collapsed into her chair. Her eyes flicked to the clock and back, cursing when she realized that she still had ten minutes before she would feel comfortable leaving.<p>

Senior Criminalist Chang had already sent in all of the tests, sanitized the whole office, and had briefed Dr. Isles on all of the open cases. She had punched out almost an hour ago, claiming that she needed to be gone by five p.m. or else her future was unknown. Maura had just chalked it up to Susie being just as painfully awkward as she was.

Maura laid her head uncharacteristically on her arms while simultaneously trying to take deep even breaths. She could feel her heartbeat in her throbbing head, it was like someone had taken a mallet to her skull. It was probably a sinus headache- the temperature and barometric pressure had been fluctuating greatly this past week. Maybe she could run a hot bath for herself later. Before she could process any other thought, there was a soft rapp on her door.

"Come in, but please be quiet" Maura requested towards her unplanned visitor. She smiled softly as the normally loud detective very obviously tried to enter as quietly as she could. Jane was hiding something behind her back, and Maura really did not have the energy to start a guessing game. She was exhausted, and her feelings were dangerously close to the surface. She was not in the mood for Jane's playful flirting tonight; her heart and mind just weren't strong enought.

"I'm sorry, I'm not very good company today Jane. What's up?" Maura laid her head back down on her arms, making sure her hearing was still intact. Jane noticed the blonde's sullen tone and frowned. She'd picked a great day for this, obviously.

"I just came to ask you a question before I left for the day; I can come back though." Jane stood up to leave until Maura lifted a lazy arm in a silent protest. Jan continued to stand but instead moved behind Maura's chair.

Jane set down the small bundle of multi-colored flowers down on the front of Maura's desk along with a small bag of fudge clusters. She had intended to make a scene, but quickly changed her mind once she saw that Maura was seemingly under the weather. There would be plenty of opportunities for her later on…maybe.

She softly played with Maura's hair for a few moments, running the silky hair through her fingers but careful not to pull. Maura let out a little moan of content, making Jane's eyes widen as she thought of other ways she could make the blonde make that noise again.

"Where's it hurt?" the detective whispered close to Maura's ear, watching the blonde shiver at the contact. Maura's arm came up and pointed to the base of her skull, indicating that was the center of her discomfort. Jane pressed her fingers softly to the area just below the blonde hairline and started to massage slow circles into the warm skin there. She could feel the tension built up there, and vowed to keep going until it dissipated.

"Ohhhh Jane. that's perfect." Maura murmured lovingly. She could feel her eyes fluttering shut when she heard Jane start to whisper in her ear again. She could feel the hot breath of the woman next to her, causing shivers to run up her spine. Warm lips touched the skin under her ear, causing an avalanche of goosebumps to erupt all over her hot skin.

"W-when?", Jane started to ask a question but her voice cracked. She tried once again. "When did it happen Maur?" she mumbled, squeezing her eyes tightly, not wanting to see the blonde's reaction to her question.

Maura looked to the side to see a very anxious Jane, she couldn't help but wonder if Jane was really asking what she thought that she was.

"When did what happen Jane?"

"When did you fall in love with me?" Jane tried her best to prevent the tears from falling now. She had just taken the biggest leap in her life and was barely holding on.

Maura felt a wave of relief wash through her body as she lifted her head up and looked Jane right in the eyes.

"Well, I've loved you for years but I really fell for you when you rubbed my headache away" Maura smiled softly as Jane burst into a teary smile.

"I always knew I had magic hands" Jane laughed and placed an innocent kiss on the M.E's head.

"C'mon let's get you home. I'll have Ma make you some soup." Jane helped Maura rise from her chair as they left her office arm in arm. The detective realized that Maura never saw the flowers or fudge,. She just assumed she'd be happy to see them tomorrow, or whenever she came back to the office.


	53. Brandi Carlile - That Wasn't Me

Jane sighed happily as she rolled over and gently placed an arm around Maura's torso. Her thumb lovingly caressed the silky pajama fabric that covered the swollen stomach that had changed her whole life. Instead of nightmares of people and things hurting herself or those she loved, she now dreamt of college funds and first dates. She was going to be a mother along with only other person in this world that she would ever raise a child with. Her love, her life, her favorite person to cuddle in bed. Maura.

Her eyes stayed closed, for she was too tired to rely on anything but basic functions. Maura's steady breathing mixed with the sound of nature usually lulled Jane to sleep in an instant. For some reason it just wasn't working tonight. But, she still had an hour until she absolutely needed to be asleep, so she just took a few moments to silently celebrate her life.

Maura snorted in her sleep and Jane tried her best not to giggle. To see the normally graceful woman do something so vulgar amused Jane to no end. She scooted closer to the blonde and buried her face in the honey waves that smelled of lavender and baby powder. That scent alone usually drove Jane wild but it some cases was the only thing that could keep her grounded. Her cold nose touched the warm skin of her mate, making the blonde flinch away in her sleep. Jane scooted away reluctantly and eventually focused her attention on rubbing Maura's hips and back softly.

Jane knew that the doctor was really feeling pregnancy now. After she'd hit the 32 week mark, Maura had resorted to wearing flats outdoors and comfy fuzzy slippers around the house. Jane had even caught her walking around in her big bear feet slippers that were two sizes too big because her feet had swollen too big for anything else.

Maura let loose a uncomfortable groan, and Jane decided it was time to stop bothering her. She rolled over and snuggled her butt into Maura's spine. It was amazing just how perfectly together, like a romantic love-filled puzzle. Maura fidgeted a bit and eventually rolled over to face Jane, who just sighed as she felt an arm snake around her waist and fiddle with the string on her boxers.

Jane's eyes were rolling back into her head, finally ready to slip into a deep sleep when she felt a pinch. Not just any pinch, a pinch on her behind. Was Maura trying to bug her back? Jane decided to be the bigger person and ignore the immature behavior of her bedmate. She huffed loudly and tried once again to sleep. After a moment or two she felt another pinch and decided to get even.

She reached her arm behind her and pinched the arm of the woman "sleeping" behind her.

"Ouch! What the hell Jane?" Maura yelled, smacking her hand back at the bewildered woman. Jane just rolled over and gave Maura her most offended look.

"Excuse me, Miss mother-to-be, but you pinched my ass like four fucking times." Jane motioned towards her rear, which was as far away from Maura as it could be.

"It wasn't me Jane!"

"Well who the hell was it?"

Maura's face softened and she broke out into a sleepy chuckle. She knew what had happened.

"Jane, did you happen to stick your behind against my belly again?" Maura asked amused. When Jane slowly nodded, obviously confused, Maura continued. "Whenever your skin touches my stomach, little bug kicks you! Have you never felt it before? It happens almost every night."

Jane's angry expression melted at the realization that she was normally asleep by now. The fact that their child recognized her already made her heart warm.

"Oh. That's cute Maur. I'm so sorry that I pinched you." Jane whispered kissing the spot on the blonde's arm where she assumed a bruise would soon form. Maura just nodded and placed her over her mouth as she yawned.

"I'll get you for it tomorrow. Goodnight sweet girl." she murmured towards the brunette.

"Night, Maur" Jane replied, snuggled back into her spot on the bed. She felt another softer pinch in her back and she just smiled.


	54. Nine - Cinema Italiano

Best friends weren't supposed to wrestle. They also weren't supposed to end up half naked on the stained carpet of Jane's bedroom.

They weren't supposed to fight over the remote either, but that's exactly what Jane and Maura were doing. Jane had always wondered if the blonde was ticklish, and she'd definitely found her answer.

It wasn't that Maura hadn't disliked the Sox game that Jane had chosen to watch- it was just the fact that it had been DVR'd since September and she'd watched it every Sunday since. Maura had gotten to the point where she could recite the drab commentary from memory. There just so happened to be a mini-series on about a chemical catastrophe that had piqued the doctor's interest, and she was passively trying to get Jane to watch it.

Jane, however, was not keen on watching the science version of Jaws in her dimly lit apartment. She would have nightmares (not that anyone knew of those though) and she did not want to spend a week trudging up the hill to the 24 hour diner with coffee that smelled disgustingly similar to Rondo.

The fact that Jane was indeed a Rizzoli had slipped Maura's mind, so when Maura had casually placed a delicate hand on the plastic remote, she had no idea what was in store for her.

"No!" Jane yelled slapping Maura's hand like one would a small child. She immediately blushed, embarrassed for her childish reaction. All of the reflexes from fighting over the toy in the cereal or who got to have lick of the mixing spoon came in full force. Jane assumed that Maura had never quarrelled with anyone growing up, so she was lacking in the self defense skills you only learn by having siblings. As a Rizzoli, Jane's skills were so fine tuned, that Frankie and Tommy had stopped fighting back before they even hit middle school. Therefore, Jane was accustomed to losing.

Well, neither was Maura.

Maura, had retaliated by doing what she had learned early on in life would disarm even the toughest of foes: she cried.

She wasn't upset, or even hurt, she just knew that tears from her would be Jane's demise. Jane was the type of person who worked themselves to the bone to try and please the people who were close to her. Maura was fighting dirty by playing the emotional side of the field, but Jane needed to know that she was a worthwhile opponent.

Jane ceased all function as the tears dripped from Maura's hazel eyes. Blood rushed to Jane's ears as she took Maura's hands into her own. Jane placed a small kiss on the knuckles that were still red from her previous assault.

"I'm sorry Maur, I didn't realize that I was so vicious- I'll be nice now." Jane rose from the couch to get Maura a towel of ice from her tiny freezer. She grabbed a towel from the oven and cracked her ice tray over the fabric. She cursed as a stray cube fell on the floor and shattered. Oh well, Jo would take care of it. She wrapped the bundle with care and sauntered back into the living room. She handed the chill parcel to Maura, who set it gently on her hand.

"Thank you Jane, I'm sorry if I'm not familiar with the rules of this type of assault." Maura said sweetly. She also stood from the couch and walked back towards the kitchen. Jane smiled and laid back, assuming that Maura went to pour herself another glass of wine. Suddenly, an onslaught of liquid chill ran down the valley between her breasts. She shrieked and sat up on the couch. Jane whipped her head to the side to just catch Maura's perky behind disappearing behind Jane's bedroom door.

Jane stood quickly and regretted that decision immediately- the ice cubes that had invaded her clothes slithered down her shirt and promptly settled in the front of her jeans. A suspicious stain was permeating through the light denim and Jane simply lost control.

Stripping off her newly watered jeans, Jane stomped to her bedroom in panties and a tank top. She swung open the door to see Maura's socked feet sticking out from under her bed.

"Wow, Maura, you sure know how to hide" Jane lamented, pissed off that Maura had ruined their fun. She bent down to grab the socks and realized that Maura's feet were...hard and cold? She stripped the socks off to find Maura's shoes hiding underneath- she'd been duped twice in a row.

"Ahhh!" Maura ran from Jane's bathroom with a towel tied around her neck. She dove at Jane and tackled her onto the bed. Jane- a season expert in the art of rallying- quickly flipped them on the bed. She straddled Maura's hips and untied the towel, flinging it to the floor. She decided to go in for the kill, and lifted the blonde's t-shirt up to reveal a toned stomach that was rising and falling with the quick breaths of the woman. Her cold hands assaulted Maura's ribs as she let loose the worst tickle attack that she could.

Tears were streaming down Maura's face and she giggled so much she was nearly out of air. Using her yoga-toned core muscles, Maura lifted herself up to Jane's level and played the dirtiest trick of them all: she kissed her.

Hard.

Jane's mind went blank and she slid back down Maura's legs and off the bed; her lips never leaving the blonde's. Maura once again proved that her yoga was worth it as she wrapped her legs around Jane's torso and raised herself up so she was looking down into Jane's eyes. The detective's hands came up to support the figure that was latched on to her and she spun them around slowly, kissing the whole way.

When they broke apart, Maura bit her lip and contemplated her next move. She decided that her grand finale needed to be executed perfectly. She jumped down from Jane and used one finger to beckon Jane back towards the bed. Maura slipped onto the bed and stood on her knees. With a wink and a nod, she removed her shirt and waited for Jane's reaction. She had no idea where the prudish detective's sexual boundaries were, but Maura was an attractive woman. She assumed that Jane was just having fun like her. They didn't have to be a couple, or anything serious. Maura had enjoyed the company of many women in her past, and she still kept healthy friendships with all of them.

Jane's expression paled at the sight of Maura's bare skin covered in only lace. She could see the top of a lacy pair of panties sticking out of the tops of Maura's yoga pants. Jane licked her lips and followed the silent pull of the blonde onto her bed. She positioned herself over Maura and left a trail of wet hot kisses down her chest, and into the swell of her cleavage.

"I win." Maura whispered, which came out more like a strangled moan. Jane just laughed in her slow, sexy voice and shook her head.

"Actually, Doc, I think I won" Jane winked and she disappeared from Maura's line of sight.

"I disagree Jane, I've obviously won. You're obviously overpowered by my feminine wiles" Maura purred jokingly as her back arched. Her joking tone turned into more of a moan as she realized that Jane was much more familiar with female anatomy than she had originally anticipated.

Jane's sighed at Maura's stubborn streak and wordiness. She raised herself back up to face the blonde. She placed a tangy kiss on Maura's lips and whispered:

"Actually Maura, I think I've won. I'm a bisexual"

"Well, then" Maura inhaled deeply as Jane continued where she'd left off. "I think it's safe to say that we both win"


	55. Fleetwood Mac - Silver Springs

**This is my first time writing in 2nd so excuse me if it makes you cringe. Let me know how you feel, lovely people. :D I love reviews and I smile brightly when they are given. :D**

* * *

><p>"Ayeee, thanks Bud" You nod towards the man in the food truck parked outside of BPD. It's a sad reminder that you still hadn't gotten back into the habit of making her own lunches, and going hungry was not an option<p>

"No problem chica bonita. Have a good one!" The worker called to your back as you walk down the block. A hand thrown up to tell him you listened is good enough so you dig into your six-layer burrito. The park isn't too far from here, are you okay to go there today?

Out of habit you pull out your phone. Shit, realization sets in that you've fallen for it again. That there would be no messages, especially from Maura. You hadn't spoken in nearly a year, and it's been even longer since you've truly _seen_ each other. The friendship between you had been over long before the official departure. It did help to split in such a disgusting way.

_"I love you Maura, more than anyone else in this world."_

_"Then why did you let a man you don't apparently "love" make love you Jane? Why do I have to work to even catch your eye, and he got the prize at the end of the tunnel?"_

_"It's not like that Maura. Things were easy with Casey, I didn't have to explain-"_

_"What? Explain that you have a bi-curious crush on a woman who is so desperate for love that she would let herself be second choice? Why am I second choice...why?"_

It's not like Maura had been her second choice in all honesty, but how do you tell someone that you're just not brave enough to love them? That the thought of being with them makes you cry out in happiness when you wake up from a dream? Or that when you see blonde children on the street with curly hair, you wonder if your children will look the same? How do you fight for a love that you are so scared of?

You don't.

The familiar bile is rising in your throat as the memories of your last encounter flood your brain. Not able to stomach anything else, you toss the half eaten burrito in the garbage and it makes a sickening noise when it hits the metal of the garbage receptacle. You're disappointed in yourself- this is not how you planned to spend the last day before your vacation.

You don't.

That was Jane's answer to the problem. You pick an easy relationship with a man who is using you just as much as you're using him. Then, when shit hits the fan, no one is hurt in the end and if you are, it's okay because that's easy to hide. You can bury yourself in work and Casey can leave for another tour- it's not like either of you need permission to do so. If you were marrying Maura instead, she'd worry about every case you took and she already had enough of her plate with Doyle in lockup.

You sniff back the tears that threaten to spill because Jane Rizzoli does not cry, or feel, or want, or live. She does not live.

Not anymore.

What good is a life that constantly reminds you of the things you are obviously lacking.

_"Janie, I don't know why you are settling for Charles"_ You shiver when Ma calls him that. He is not Charles in your brain, that is too close the root of all your fear and he had not earned the right to make you feel that way. Scared, vulnerable, surrounded.

She did though, she made you feel those things. The only difference is that she never intended to hurt you, not like _he_ did. _He_ left you battered and broken, unusable for anything other than working for others. _She_, _she_ left you still battered and still broken because you gave her no choice.

_"I refuse to be the second choice Jane, I am too good for that. Maura Isles is never second best- never." _

It's okay though because you are Jane Rizzoli, and Rizzoli's are used to coming in last. Look at your family- look how broken it was? You have a father in Florida who is banging trashy blonde's half of your age. You have a brother in prison who only seems happy when causing pain. Frankie is desperate to follow in your footsteps, but what happens when those footsteps also lead him to the ridiculous failure that you are? Could you handle the look on his face when he realized that his one and only idol is full of shit? Could you?

You're at BPD and there is not a single memory of the journey you've made back. It's a shame that you didn't walk into traffic.

You shake your head and try to banish all of your demons away. Frost and Korsak aren't allowed to see you this way- they would know that you are not whole and who can trust an incomplete person?

The doors open as a gaggle of high school kids pour out of the front doors- there must be a job shadowing today. You grab the door and wiggle your way into the lobby and peek into the cafe. Your Ma is there, flirting with Cavanaugh per usual. Well, at least she's happy now.

The elevator is taunting you as you stare at your disappointed form in the augmented steel. You clamp your eyes shut, unable to continue the staring contest with yourself. Finally the stupid thing dings and you walk into it without even opening your eyes all of the way. It's too bright to think, even though you don't do that anymore- it hurts too much.

"Homicide, please" your over-emotional voice makes you cringe. C'mon Jane, get it together.

When the elevator doesn't move, you finally look up and gasp; _she's_ staring at you. The look in her eyes is the same as when Hope left her in the foyer. She's hurt, and it's all your fault. Look at that face Jane, that's what pain looks like. How could you ever live again knowing that you've ruined that gorgeous face forever? You made her a feel like she wasn't good enough, what kind of person does that?

_"Maura, I swear, I'll break it off with Casey. He doesn't mean anything to me, he's worthless!"_

_"So, you let a worthless man be inside you when all I'm allowed to do is watch so far away that I've forgotten what you look like?"_

_"No! I just- I- I can't do this Maura, I'm sorry I kissed you. Just go home. You'll find someone else, way better than me"_

_"You know that I won't Jane- don't be a petulant child. You've ruined me forever because no matter what, no one will ever be the same. I'll never be someone's first choice- who could love this? I'm weird Jane, I'm the Queen of the Dead. Who else could love the damned Queen of the Dead other than the Knight of Justice? No one, Jane. I'm destined to be alone because my self-worth cannot suffer another blow, I wouldn't survive it"_

_"Damnit Maura, don't do this! We could be so happy, we could work it out!"_

_"No Jane, we could not. I'm sorry that I have to say goodbye to the only friend I've ever had. I never realized that the one person that I loved more than anything in this world- including myself- would be the very same person who would be the reason for my demise. Goodbye Jane Rizzoli, I hope you lead a very happy life full of half truths and loveless nights."_

There she stood, with her eyes full of rage. You knew she wanted to say something to you, but couldn't let herself be the one to crack first. Maura Isles did not crack under pressure, even after being damaged.

She pressed the button for the homicide floor swiftly and proceeded to stare at you until you felt so uncomfortable for just breathing.

"That, that feeling right there, that is how it feels to be worthless" Maura walked out of the elevator as soon as it stopped, without another word. How this woman could break you after 362 days of silence, was something you'll never understand.

One sentence, thirteen words that, when merged into one sentence, made you feel so low, so shitty, that there is no one on this planet who could save you now.

Your desk chair is cold, and your desk is bland. There are no more letters or candid photos, just a pencil and a legal pad with nothing written. Your drawers no longer hold secret candy for a bad day, or the fake flower you got on Valentine's day because Casey loved to fight overseas more than he would fight for you. No one would fight for you anymore, no one thought enough of you to do so.

Your desolate phone beeps once, and it startles you so badly that you gasp out loud.

"We need to talk, and you will listen to me. I, in turn, will listen to you"

It's a simple message really, but it's so complex that it will take you all day to figure out. So, a simple "okay" will do for now.

It will do, it has to.


	56. Bon Iver - I Can't Make You Love Me

**This is a continuation of the previous fic called "Silver Springs"**

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><p>The sounds that your heels make on the pavement remind you of the time that you and Jane played pool for the first time. She'd leaned into you so intimately that your shoulder blades could feel her heartbeat. It was in that moment, with Jane's warm strong body pressed into you, that you realized that you loved her.<p>

You love her.

You'll always love her.

You don't know how to not love her, it's like she's built into your foundation and she hold the shattered pieces of your heart together. She was the reason that it was broken, but also the reason it was not shattered. Good god Maura, you're really losing it.

Her apartment complex has changed in small ways, and it only reminds you that it's been nearly a year since you've truly spoken. You hesitate in front of her door to gather your thoughts which have scattered in the wind like sad confetti. Your palm lies flat on the cool door until you take a deep breath and knock twice in short syncopated beats.

There's an audible tension between you two when she opens the door a beckons you inside. You don't mean to, but your face gives you away when you see what's left of Jane's apartment. It's like you never existed: The photos were gone, the kitchen was untouched, and one lonely pillow sat on the couch- presumably for Jo.

"You can sit wherever." Jane was giving you control and for that you are thankful. Maybe she had realized that her being in control is what had ruined you both before. The couch calls out to you like a distant lover but you will not bend to its' wishes just yet. So, the recliner will have to do even though it smells like beer and grape cigars. It must have been used because Jane didn't smoke. Or, rather, she had never smoked back then. You really didn't know what she did anymore and that scared you more than anything else. Maybe you really did have a problem with being in control. You would ponder that further on a different night- tonight was about both of you.

"So, what did you want to talk about" Jane is rubbing her scars again, she must be nervous. Hell, why wouldn't she be nervous, Maura.

"I think that I made my point clear the last time that we spoke, but I would like you to tell me, in your own words, why I left." It was harsh, but Jane did not respond to passive aggressive half-hearted threats. Well, she didn't used to. Why can't you realize that you do not know this woman anymore?

"ah- um. Well, I chose Casey over you be-because he was easy" The snort that makes its' way out of your nose isn't lost on the detective, who just frowns and continues. "I hope that you know Maur- Maura, I'm sorry, and that you were always my first choice. But, Casey was safe. When I was with Casey, no one asked me how I felt, how I was doing, or what my plans were. Because it was normal to everyone and goddamnit Maura you know that all I wanted to be was normal." She doesn't realize it, but that argument was verbatim the talk you'd given yourself when she showed you that ridiculous adolescent engagement ring that that wretched man had offered her.

"I was right there Jane. I was willing to even wait while you found yourself, if that's what it took. But, you ran again- what you've always done best" maybe this wasn't such a good idea, Maura; you're getting too emotional too quickly.

"I'm right here now, Maura. I value and respect you" Jane pleaded with you like a teenager out past curfew. Did she honestly think that you had come here to reconcile this quickly?

"I know that you do Jane, I've always known that. But, my question has always been: Are you willing to fight for me, for us?" The tears are building and you cannot hold them back any longer or you will implode.

"I will fight every fucking day for us. I will fight every moment of every day to show you that I am worth it. I can be the best thing that ever happened to you Maura Isles. But, I am also a human so I cannot promise the accuracy that you are used to."

The clock on the wall hasn't moved in the hour that you've been here and you're sure the batteries haven't been changed since the last time you cleaned here. For some reason you're drawn to the wall and you just pluck the tiny offender off the wall and rip off the backing- scattering little pieces of plastic all over the floor.

You were right, they still had the misspelled green logo that you'd begrudgingly put into the clock more than a year ago. For some reason this upsets you to no end. How could Jane just stop caring for herself after you'd left? That was the only reason that you didn't walk right back into the apartment and kiss her so hard she saw stars.

"I'm sorry Maura, I-I kind refused to touch that clock because it stopped working as soon as you left" You don't know if she's bullshitting you or not, but the sentence hurts where it's supposed to and it makes an impact.

"How's Casey?" you say with all the venom that your voice can handle. You sound like a different person and that is the reason that you will never mention that name again.

She shrugs and looks to the floor, "I don't know. I called him right after our fight and told him to stay overseas because he had no place here. How could I look at him and realize that he is everything I swore I would never be. We haven't spoken since, I honestly don't regret it at all." Jane's scars are bleeding from her incessant rubbing- a sure sign that this conversation was going to end quickly before it exploded.

You stand up, ready to leave ready to sort out your thoughts when Jane jumps up and grabs you by the waist. She kisses you tenderly, wrapping her hands into your hair and rubs the base of your neck. You shouldn't be allowing this to happen but good Lord this is Heaven.

She pulls back slightly to breathe and you press your lips her hers again. No, Maura, you cannot allow this to happen again. This is what ruined you both before, and you'll be damned if she steals your heart one last time.

"No, no, no" you whimper as you come dangerously close to capturing her warm lips again. She pulls away and the tears that moisten her face most likely came from both of you. She touches her lips like she's keeping a secret, looking at you wide eyes so wide that you fight the urge to look behind you.

"I'm so sorry Maura. I don't know what came over me." The fact that she is pleading so desperately for you to not leave this time solidifies the belief she finally understands.

"Tomorrow" you can't tell whether your hands are shaking more than your resolve at this point." Tomorrow, we will have lunch together in the cafe. We are going to talk about our friendship and whether we are strong enough to make this leap because I cannot live another round with you Jane. I just can't."

There, you've lain in all out there. All of your fears are on display for Jane to see and if she really loved you then she would help you make them disappear. Would she help you be whole again?

"okay." her nod of agreement is louder than her tiny voice but it means more to you than anything else in this moment.

She hands you your coat and puts a warm but trembling hand on your shoulder.

"Do you want any coffee tomorrow Maura?" your heart splits open as the dams keeping your feelings inside burst. You can't fold so easily. She needs to work for you.

"Not yet Jane, not quite yet."


	57. Celine Dion - My Heart Will Go On

"Is this seat taken?" a Boston accent woke Maura from her daydream. She looked up to see a set of innocent yet mischievous brown eyes, staring down at her. The man wore generic clothing- nothing too extravagant. He must have been one of the workers that slept near the boiler of the large ship. She normally didn't mind speaking to strangers, her parents were always trying to find her a husband, regardless of her disinterest of the whole subject.

"I don't think so, however, I don't rather enjoy the company of men. Nothing personal Mr-?"

"Rizzoli, Jay Rizzoli. That's what everyone calls me at least. I don't blame ya Miss, men are scoundrels. Have a good day, Miss." The boy tipped his cap to her and continued down the hallway to the servant's quarters.

Maura smiled at the exchange- her first on this ship. She had been forced to attend with her parents, and she had yet to have an ounce of fun. Everyone who came to these events were pretentious snobs, who measured their worth by the size of the boat they travelled in.

She continued to fan herself gently, not wanting to sweat while wearing this atrocious amount of makeup she had caked on in order to be deemed "presentable" by her parents for socializing. So far that had been her sitting in this chair watching drunk couples waltz through and give her looks for being out without an escort.

After another eventful hour passed, Maura decided to at least explore this oaf of a ship. She made her way up to the deck, which was bathed in the buttery light of the sunset. She walked up and down, trailing her fingers on the railing as her light dress billowed in the wind of the open sea. The salty spray sprinkled onto her arms as she floated along the deck. Suddenly, she felt the ship pitch and then hit a wave- hard. She stumbled a bit at the change in balance hit her head on. The splash from the crash landed on Maura, immediately soaking her pastel dress down to the bone.

Maura looked down at the sopping layers and cursed this trip once again. She ducked back down the stairs and saw the laundry room just ahead. She peeked her head into the seeming empty room, and snuck inside. Once she was safely hidden in the room, she turned and locked the door behind her. She looked at the wash basin and shrugged, this couldn't be too hard, right?

She stripped down to her underwear and hung up her dress to dry. Her shoes and stockings were sitting on a wooden bench built into the wall. She peeled off the wet layers and wrung them out in the basin the best that she could. The blonde spotted a sheet in the next room, so she walked barefoot into the shaded room and pulled the sheet off the chair it was sitting on and wrapped it around her bare form.

While her things dried in the room over, Maura looked in wonder at the walls of the room she had stumbled into. There were drawings of all sizes and colors littering the walls. Pastels and charcoals were scattered around the place. Behind her was a plush sofa that matched the ones in the lounge upstairs on the ship. She touched the deep burgundy of the couch, and let her fingers drift up and down the soft fabric. A solitary cough made her jump and grab ferverously at the sheet that held the remainder of her dignity.

"I thought you were too busy fanning your pretty self to wander around the bottom deck" The same man from earlier asked with a twinkle in his eye. He smiled softly, not meaning any harm by his mocking tone. He motioned his arm towards all the art on the walls, taking a moment to just look at them.

"Have you ever modelled, Miss?"

Maura just blushed and shook her head, surely no one would want a drawing of her. She wasn't like those beautiful women that hung in galleries around the world.

"No, I cannot say that I have, Mr. Rizzoli. What does it entail? As you can see, I'm a little "indisposed" as of now. Your work is extravagant though, I must say." Maura looked a little hurt and confused when the man in front of her started to laugh.

"You're a riot. What's your name?" he asked, still giggling bit.

"Maura Isles, my parents are-" Maura was interrupted.

"Oh, I know them. Don't worry. Call me Jay for now. From the looks of it, you got wet. Are your clothes drying in there?" Jay pointed towards the laundry room. Maura nodded and hugged the sheet tighter around herself.

"Well, I'll make you a deal, Maura Isles. I'll do a quick sketch of you, and when we're done, I'll sneak you back up to your room. I will hand deliver your delicates later, so no one needs to know. Is that okay?" Jay smiled, his dimples making Maura's heart race. For being a male, he surely was quite charming. Maura seemed to mull this over for a bit. She nodded and stated her terms:

"I'll stay for a sketch. But, afterwards I'll just redress in what I wore here. I don't want to risk being cause by anyone" When Jay nodded, Maura continued. "So, how do you want me to be? Shall I just lie on this right here?" Maura sat gently on the furniture below her. She draped the sheet over her body and shook the blonde ringlets from her face.

"That's perfect" Jay muttered as he scrutinized the blonde's body shape and skin color. He started to lightly sketch the outlines and soon Maura's found herself entranced by the site of the artist at work. She actually felt very sexy like this, being so closely observed by someone.

After a considerable amount of time had passed, Jay stepped back and wiped charcoal stained hands on already dirty pants. Maura stood up and padded over to the easel and gasped. The sketch of her was beautiful. Even if it was just an outline, the likeness and attention to minute detail was divine.

"If you ever feel like modeling again, Maura Isles, I could maybe fill in the details a bit." Jay winked at tugged at the sheet lightly. Maura caught the hint and blushed, she never thought of being nude, that seemed a little too far from her comfort zone. Jay grabbed her hand and lead her back into the laundry room, where her dress and undergarments and dried considerably.

"I'll leave you to change. Would you care to join me for a walk afterwards?" Jay asked, turning his back to the changing woman.

Maura blushed as she donned her dress and flipped her hair back over her shoulders. "I suppose I could use a walk. That should be fine. "

Jay just nodded and walked out of the laundry room, leaving Maura to redress completely. When she exited the room looking much drier than when she'd entered, Jay grabbed her hand and led them up a flight of stairs. His hand was soft and warm, almost like a female's would be. They wandered up to the deck. Jay looped Maura's arm like a gentleman, and they set off at a slow pace.

"Have you ever wanted to do something so badly that you feel your heart will burst if you dont?" Jay muttered after a few moment, looking out over the dark waters.

"I have not, should I try?" Maura asked, intrigued at the thought. "I've always wanted to fly, although that's not possible."

"Sure it is!" Jay grabbed her arm and they ran to the bow of the ship. "Jump up! I've got you!"

Maura jumped onto the steel rail, and threw her arms out. Jay stepped up behind her and wrapped thin arms around her waist. Maura felt tears run down her face- she felt so free!

"I'm flying Jay, I'm really flying!" Maura cried out. She turned out and kissed the man behind her soundly, trying her best to convey how thankful she was.

"Well, Maura Isles, you stole my thunder. I was gonna kiss ya when you I asked if you'd ever wanted to do something badly. But, I have another trick up my sleeve. If I tell you my real name, will you kiss me again?" Jay smiled shyly, not used to being one to beg for affection.

Maura kissed the familiar lips once more, falling in love more and more as each millisecond passed.

"Jane Rizzoli, is my name. I'm just a lady from south Boston trying to make a living as the crew of the Titanic.." Jane muttered, looking wide-eyed at the woman in front of her.

"That's what I suspected, Mrs. Rizzoli. You're far too pretty and gentle to be a man. Now, may I have another kiss if I tell you one last thing about myself?" Maura asked, knowing that this drab cruise may have been the best idea of her life. When Jane nodded slowly, Maura brought her lips to her ear and whispered:

"I happen to prefer the company of women anyways." with a wink Maura stepped down from the railing and grabbed the hand of the woman who would soon be the love of her life, even if their love lasted for less than 24 hours.


	58. Pinocchio - When You Wish Upon a Star

**I highly suggest listening to Tomizawa Michie's (Sailor Mars' Seiyuu) version of this song. It's sweet even if it's meant to be a Christmas Carol. Hahaa. **

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><p>"Is everyone ready to go?" Jane asked with a smile, she was truly excited about educating her two favorite people on the wonders of Disney movies. They had narrowed it down to just a few and then let Mister T.J. decide by setting up a variety of things and whichever he crawled to first, was their choice. Obviously, he had great Rizzoli taste because he had not only crawled to Pinocchio, he had also eaten a corner off of the box while Jane and Maura debated whether or not a seemingly perverted cricket was appropriate for the young child.<p>

After clearing out wadded cardboard full of spiddle (another word Maura refused to admit existed) and cleaning the soggy cardboard out of the wooden floor, they finally settled down on Maura's couch for the movie. Jane and Maura sat on opposite ends of the couch with their legs side-by-side. Little T.J. sat in Jane's lap, giggling when Maura made funny faces while Jane wasn't looking.

They got about halfway through the movie when Maura realized that Big and Little Rizzoli were down for the count. They had identical drool stains on their matching Sox shirts, and Maura's heart just warmed at the sight. She knew, deep down, that Jane wanted children badly. But, she just wasn't ready to give less than 100% of herself to her job. Maura knew that Jane would eventually settle down with someone- even if she realized that it would never be her. So long as Jane was happy, Maura would be able to survive too.

She sadly turned her head to at least finish the rest of the movie. The movie itself was a far cry from the book that Maura had read when she was much younger, but this more innocent interpretation was a good way to teach children how to approach many different situations. When the credits started to roll, Maura was surprised to find herself misty-eyed at the final song that had played. Something about the jovial innocence behind it made her feel nostalgic and almost resentful at her lack of childhood.

The menu came back up and that very same song looped once more. Maura snuggled down and was just about to drift off to sleep when she saw T.J. start to wiggle. Deciding to not snuff her maternal instincts like she normally did, the blonde lifted herself gently from the couch and bent over to remove the wiggling toddler from Jane's protective grasp. She quickly replaced him with a throw pillow as Jane stretched the full length of the couch and sighed adorably.

T.J. settled in the curve of Maura's hip as they walked into her bedroom. She had set up a pack and play in her room for when the little boy came over. He protested being put down, so Maura decided to sit in the scarcely-used rocking chair in the corner of the dark room. They sat down and the little Rizzoli snuggled into Maura's chest, making little baby noises of content.

They sat like that until baby T.J.'s breaths became deep and even, his little hands wrapped around Maura's hair to keep the contact they shared. Maura started to sing softly to the little boy, something she'd only dreamt of doing.

_When you wish upon a star_

_Makes no difference who you are_

_Anything your heart desires_

_Will come to you_

"I wish that were the honest truth, baby boy. If I had everything that I had truly wished for, you would be mine, and your Aunt Jane would be your mother- my wife." Maura murmured lovingly to the sleeping child.

_If your heart is in your dream_

_No request is too extreme_

_When you wish upon a star_

_As dreamers do_

"If my dreams came true, we'd be living in the country with two children and Jo Friday. We'd have horses and apple trees, and your Mama would be walking around in jeans and flannel, milking the cows every morning- just before sunrise. I'd be a schoolteacher and Jane would be the sheriff. You'd be the smartest kid in class but also the kindest. I honestly would give anything in this world for that baby boy." Maura kissed his warm head and nuzzled again the soft hair that only babies have. She inhaled the smell of powder and baby lotion, quite possibly her favorite scent.

_Fate is kind_

_She brings to those who love_

_The sweet fulfillment of_

_Their secret longing_

"Sometimes, I think that Jane loves me. Not the friendship kind of love, but the kind of love that makes you feel invincible. The kind of love that makes you feel so darned special because someone out there picked you out of the billions of people on this earth. You, a lonely little society-forced introvert with a habit of over-explaining at the worst of times. You were chosen by the elite, the protective yet soft beauty that thinks the world of you. I see it in her eyes sometimes, but I'm not sure if she's willing to fight for me." Maura tried her best to keep her tears at bay, infants could pick up on basic emotions, and she didn't' want to wake the child in her arms.

_Like a bolt out of the blue_

_Fate steps in and sees you through_

_When you wish upon a star_

_Your dreams come true_

"Never, ever let anyone tell you that your dreams are stupid, T.J.; I say this from experience. If you ever believe that you cannot achieve something, you are wrong. I'd like to think that you're an Isles by proxy, and Isles are never wrong." Maura sighed, and stood up slowly. T.J. was a very warm child and was starting to make her overheat in the chair. She set him down on the padded floor of the pack and play and stood up, smiling longingly at a child that she wished was hers so very badly. A set of arms laced themselves around her waist as the familiar chin of Jane settled on her shoulder. They had never been this close before, and Maura was sure that her knees would give out at any given moment.

"I finally found something that you aren't very good at. Don't worry, I don't think T.J.'s ears are damaged" Jane chuckled as she felt Maura finally relax into her backwards embrace. She turned to look at Jane in mock anger but was pleasantly surprised when pressed her warm lips against hers before she could even start to speak. They parted soon after and Maura blushed deeper than she ever had. The blonde turned around in Jane's embrace and stood on her toes to kiss the detective a bit harder this time. Once the separated again, they rested their heads against each other and just stared at each other.

"Am I stupid for being so full of dreams about realities that will never exist, Jane?" Maura whispered, embarrassed by how vulnerable and weak she sounded. She was a Doctor- she believed in science and nature, not fate and dreams.

"Never stop believing, Maura" Jane whispered, bringing the blonde back into an embrace, placing a loving kiss on her head. She threaded their hands together as they rocked back and forth in the dark of Maura's bedroom, no music needed. She glanced at T.J., who slept soundly and realized that even if she didn't have what she wanted at this exact moment in time, that anything was possible and dreams do come true.


	59. Naughty Boy Ft Sam Smith - La La La

**TW for PTSD. **

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><p>"Fuckin' A, what the fuck was that?" Jane stormed into the squadroom with a look of fury on her face. She kicked her chair as hard as she could, sending it down the aisle until it crashed into Cavanaugh's door with a mighty "BANG!" Korsak and Frost look confused at each other and back to the seething detective. Jane looked at each of them and snarled a simple explanation:<p>

"Casey."

Both men rolled their eyes at the furious woman pacing back and forth in front of her desk. Her hands clenched into fists so hard that her scars turned bright white, making them visible from pretty far away. Jane and Casey had been fighting off and on for nearly a week, both of them too headstrong and stubborn to talk about any of their issues. So, they just had given up on speaking for the time being, until today. Today, Casey had met Jane on her lunch and said that he was leaving unless she married him. He was scheduled to be in Boston for two more days, and had already been around for two weeks. So, the fact that he'd waited until today to unload this ultimatum on the detective pissed her off more than anything else.

Maura, curious as to why she'd gotten warning texts from Barold and Vince, made her way up to the homicide room. She entered the elevator, only to see that Casey was moping in the corner, probably nursing a bruised ego after going another round with Jane. She nodded to him politely and waited for the doors to close; they were most likely heading to the same floor. After a few tense moments, Casey decided to break the silence:

"I asked her to marry me, ya know." he started in a flat, dejected tone. The look on his face was unreadable to the blonde, which was unsettling. Maura tried her best to contain the anger that was forming in her chest. Was this man really that daft? Jane Rizzoli did things on her own terms, she was not a woman who would say yes to someone who can called her "Officer" just to put her down. Casey was either seriously in denial about the Detective, or he really just thought that purposefully misaddressing Jane was endearing.

"She doesn't love me though, she said "maybe". Which makes me sad, because it means she is either lying to me or lying to herself" the man mumbled, not making eye contact with anything but his boots.

"You're right." Maura spoke out, unable to contain her opinion any more. "She doesn't love you the way that you want her to. But, you have to realize she is broken, Casey. She'd a shell of a human ever since Hoyt happened. She needs someone who can work with her, not against her. Unfortunately, that just doesn't seem to be you."

Casey nodded and straightened up as the elevator stopped. He motioned for Maura to exit first, he soon followed her into the silent room. Frost and Korsak took one look at the two people walking towards them and rushed Maura into an interview room. They peered through the glass at the pair who had yet to speak. Jane's eyes were pure fury and Casey seemed to shrivel at the sight of a pissed off Jane Rizzoli.

"Jane, I just wanted to make sure that we are clear on this: I'm packing my things tomorrow and leaving. If you haven't said "yes" by then, I won't come back. Okay?" Casey grabbed harshly at Jane's hands, which was the exact wrong thing to do.

"No!" Maura yelled from the room she was in with the two men. "NO! Jane has PTSD! That stupid, ignorant, vapid man! I have to go to her- she's going to have a panic attack." Maura ran past the two wide-eyed detectives and out into the squad room. Jane had gone ramrod and paled to almost white. Casey still had not gotten the hint and was rubbing her scars, trying to be comforting in the worst of ways.

Maura pushed him aside with an uncharacteristic "move!". She knocked her foot lightly into the back of Jane's knees and guided her to the floor in front of her desk. Silent tears made their way down the detective's ashen face as her mouth contorted in silent please to someone who wasn't there. Finally, she started to breathe and let loose the most gut-wrenching cry for help that shattered Maura's heart into a trillion pieces.

"NO! NO DON'T HURT HER YOU FUCKING DISGUSTING MAN. TAKE ME, I AM NOT HER. I CAN SURVIVE, DON'T HURT MAURA!" Jane pleaded to the man standing in front of her. Charles Hoyt held a photo of Maura in a state of undress in her bedroom. The fact that he had gotten so deep into her house that he could see into her bedroom, made Jane's blood freeze. Hoyt just laughed deeply and licked the photograph in a lewd area.

_She tastes so good Jane, just like lavender and wisdom. But, you don't know that do you? You haven't had the chance to dig into Doctor Isles. It's too bad really, she looks like a screamer. _

**Jane. Jane. You're in the squad room. It's me Jane- it's Maura. I need you to listen to me Jane. I can't lie, you know that. You. Are. Safe. **

_I wonder if the Doc's breasts smell like honey when she comes, Jane. She always whispers your name after she takes the tumble. Did you know that? She has to touch herself thinking of you every night when she sleeps. _

**Jane. Jane. You are here, it is 2:45 p.m. and you are Boston Police Department. Korsak and Frost are here. Frost is here Jane, he wouldn't be if you were back there, okay? Here, here's your badge. I'm going to put a picture of Jo Friday in your hands okay?**

_Did you know that she looks herself over in the mirror every morning before work? She asks herself if she's "pretty enough for Jane" and if she's not satisfied, she changes. Did you know this Jane? It's such a shame that you won't even get to know. _

**_Jane! Breathe! C'mon Honey, breathe for me okay? I don't want you to faint, just breathe. If you don't start breathing, Jane Clementine Rizzoli, I will go get your mother. Don't think that I wont. Do_**n't think that I won't." Jane opened her eyes to see a serious Maura in front of her, not Hoyt. Not Hoyt.

Not Hoyt.

Maura slowly raised both hands to show that she was harmless and not going to touch Jane without her permission. The black started to fade from her vision and her breathing started to even out again. She looked up at Maura and the sudden onslaught of guilt poured over her, almost making her drown again. She had never told Maura what he'd said to her, and she definitely hadn't told Casey about it either. Whenever he'd asked about it, she would change the subject in fear of _this_ happening. He knew enough about what had happened to know that Jane refused to be restrained and hated to be touched suddenly. But, she had withheld the majority of the story from anyone, including her department mandated doctor.

"Jane, Jane are you okay?" Casey asked, getting just a little too close for Jane right now. "It's me, Charles"

_You'll never forget my name Jane, I promise. Wanna know why? It's because you'll always envy me for seeing your precious doctor in ways you have only dreamed of. _

Jane stood up quickly and wrapped her arms around herself, trying to keep herself from slipping. She hated doing this in public; it was embarrassing and caused a scene. She hadn't had a flashback in nearly three months, but Casey just didn't understand. She should have told him that was the first indication that this relationship was not going to work.

"Are you serious right now, Casey?" Maura whipped around and advanced quickly on the man who was trying to sneak out of the room. She turned to look at Jane, who just frowned and nodded. She sat in her chair and focused on the photo of her and Maura from last year. She tried her best to get lost in those positive memories as Maura defended her to Casey.

Maura walked right up to Casey and stood as close as she could without invading his space. She stared him down until his stare broke as he looked down again.

"She never told me Maura, I have no idea what her triggers are. We- we didn't get far with those discussions." Casey admitted, finally defeated.

"I understand that Casey, I really do. But did you even ask her? She would have told you if you had asked. She just doesn't like to volunteer information like that. Casey, do you know Hoyt's first name? It was Charles." Maura spat at the man.

"I- I didn't know." Casey looked honestly guilty at the new knowledge. Of course, he hadn't tried very hard to get to know Jane after they'd rekindled their relationship. He had wanted it to be easy, like it was in high school. But, it was slowly dawning on him that not only had he failed realized that Jane embodied someone with PTSD, but that she had been silently giving him signs that she was not okay. He wasn't allowed to stay the night, and actually she'd never fallen asleep around him. She didn't like to hold hands, nor have her hands restrained while being intimate. She also refused to go down into the basement of her apartment complex, even when the power had gone out.

"You need to leave Casey, you aren't welcome here anymore." Maura pointed towards the elevator. She narrowed her eyes at Casey until he sighed and made his way towards the doors. Maura promptly turned back around and made her way back into the squadroom where Jane was holding their photo so hard that her hands were shaking.

"Jane, Jane, honey. Are you okay?" Maura asked from a distance. She knew that Jane would probably not appreciate anyone sneaking up on her. If she made any sudden movements or loud noises right after one of Jane's episodes, she ran the risk of falling back into it.

"I'm fine Maura." Jane turned back to the photo, losing herself once again. If she focused hard enough on the picture, she didn't think about what Hoyt had described Maura's underwear to be. She had forbidden knowledge that she was not given permission to have. For that, she was eternally guilty, and would never submit to the feelings she had.

"I'm fine." Jane said again, more to convince herself than Maura.

Maura nodded and sat on the corner of Jane's desk. She would tell her when she was ready so until then she would support her in every way possible. Even if that included telling off a man who really was only partially at fault for what had just happened.

"Jane, let's go back to my place. I'll make you some soup and we can watch Jackass, even if that movie seems pointless." Maura asked, knowing that Jane would realize that Maura was giving her what she wanted, just this once. Jane nodded and gathered her things. She gave a short wave to Frost and Korsak, who still hung close to the interview room door, frozen by the scene that had just played out. The two walked out of the door and the two men turned to each other.

"I don't know what was worse, Casey screaming "Charles" like it would magically save Jane, or the fact that Doc had to tell him off" Korsak gave a half smile and proceeded to go to his desk.

"I don't know dude, but remind me never to piss off Maura, she's feisty deep down." Frost smiled at the memory of the blonde pointing Casey towards the elevator.

"So long, sucker." Korsak sang out as they started back on their work.


	60. Chicago - Cell Block Tango

**Part 1 of 3.**

**(this is not how prison works at all, just saying. I've never been there, but I know people who have. This just wouldn't leave my head so, I ran with it)**

**There's an awkward mention of some lewd things done by a man worked into here once. Its brief and won't happen again, and it's not graphic or abusive..just...ew. :|  
><strong>

* * *

><p>"Turn to your left. Turn to your right. Face me. You are dismissed" a spiritless face droned and rolled their eyes. Jane couldn't tell if the person behind the camera was male or female.<p>

Well, it didn't really matter anyways; it's not like she was here to make friends. She flipped her black matted locks over her shoulder and followed the guard to a dimly lit white room. A female officer handed her a plastic bag and a bin. Her eyes gaze was hard, she was probably feeling betrayed. Jane was used to seeing her when she came to interrogate a prisoner, not as one. Jane hardened her features and stared at the ceiling as she felt hand roam over places, that no except for Jane herself, had touched in years. A "yelp!" slithered its' way out of the detective's mouth as she was forced to widen her stance for the cavity search.

After a nod of approval from the guard, Jane slowly removed her clothing and dropped them in the ugly pink tub at her feet. She kicked off her boots, and shuffled into the sandals that were required where she was going. The plastic bag that held her uniform gave her trouble at first, but eventually she was able to rip it open and grab the white cotton shirt and pants that were too short and a little too transparent for Jane's taste. She watched as her normal Detective garb was sealed away with her prison number on it. Her nostrils flared when she realized that the prison had given her prisoner number V825. Well, someone somewhere had a sense of humor.

"Your guide will be here in a moment. It's dinner time right now, but you don't have your funds set up. So, you'll be eating peanut butter and crackers until someone can add to your commissary fund.", another drab guard spoke out from the crowd. She could see them all mentally debating whether or not they wanted to give her the full speech. Even in prison, they were all still intimidated by Jane Rizzoli. Jane just nodded slowly, as the door to the room opened. A meek looking woman walked in and nodded. Her black hair was pulled back in a bun so tight, that Jane honestly wondered if it was tugging at her forehead.

"Chang, this is Rizzoli. Show her the place. No fuckin' around, okay?" The guard barked to the woman, who just nodded and looked wide-eyed at the tall, dark woman. She turned around and walked out the door, holding it open for Jane as they entered into a long dim hallway. When the heavy cement door clicked shut. Chang turned around and eyed Jane warily.

"You're a cop. I don't trust you." her black eyes narrowed when Jane started to chuckle. She hadn't spoken out loud all day, so her voice still held that thick, raspy sound that generally was only present when she'd just woken up. \

"I wouldn't trust me either." Jane looked around at the empty cells and wondered which one was hers. They really all looked the same, so it's not like it mattered in all honesty. They walked silently for a few more minutes until the reached another door. Change knocked twice and it opened from the inside. It was then that Jane realized that there was no handle on the door- probably a security measure to prevent any wandering. They entered the large room filled with plastic bench tables, like one would find in an elementary school. There was a general murmur of conversation being passed between the nearly 60 women in the hall. There was a hand-painted sign that hung over the serving line that read "we don't care if your mom died, no one eats for free". How sweet. Jane thought.

"You can sit with me today, but after that you're on your own. Maura doesn't like new people, and you don't wanna piss of her." Chang motioned to the corner spot farthest away from the door.

"That, is the mess line. Be careful, people will do whatever they can to get the first wave of food. If you get stuck at the end of the line, you probably aren't going to eat unless you can eat cold potatoes in thirty seconds." The woman pointed to the line forming at the door. She lifted her head slightly to the woman who seemed to be in charge of the whole food area. The older woman just glared at Jane and squinted. Realization dawned on the older woman who handed a paper sack to one of the kitchen workers. They walked out the door and made their way to Jane. Once the worker reached her, they thrust the bag into her hand and smiled sadly. Jane nodded appreciatively towards the kitchen staff and turned to walk to Chang's table.

"Don't you want to get in line?" Jane husked quietly. She didn't really want to ask too many questions on her first day here- that could get you killed. But, she also didn't want to hold the woman back from her normal day-to-day routine. The less impact Jane made here, the better.

"I-I...I don't eat" the smaller woman admitted, awkwardly glancing towards her table. Jane just nodded and took the hint, following the woman to "her table". They walked past tables of nosy inmates, sizing her up no doubt. She just kept her head down and met no one's glare. When the arrived at the table, Jane was so lost in her effort to blend it, that she actually bumped her shins into the plastic seats and grimaced. The other woman at the table raised a blonde head,, taking in the long, lean form of the new addition to the table.

"Welcome." the woman started, not making eye contact with Jane. Jane, in return just muttered a general thanks and opened her bag. She managed not to retch at the sight inside: there was what used to be a dead rodent of some sort, and pair of not-so-gently used socks. A tiny scrap of paper read:

"Dirty cops get dirty food"

Jane just crumpled up the bag and set it aside on the table. She knew how women's prisons worked: you just had to stay strong and silent until the attention was no longer on you. She didn't expect any compassion from anyone here- how could they understand her situation when she even had trouble processing it? She just needed to roll with the punches and eventually she would blend in the background. Hopefully.

A slow smile started to spread on the blonde's face in front of Jane. She shook her head sadly and bit her lip, looking as if she was struggling with a decision. Her tiny frame took a deep breath and looked up, her eyes shining a brilliant green as she whispered timidly, "Do you want to share anything?"

Jane knew that how she reacted to this situation could determine how she lived the rest of her life. Pondering her words for a few moments, Jane also raised her eyes and couldn't help jumping at how vivid this woman's eyes shone in the fake white light of the mess hall.

"I do, but I don't want the consequences that come with it, for both of us. I will be okay, thank you" Jane exhaled a breath she didn't even realize that she was holding after the blonde nodded in understanding. She had passed her first test, one of many that she would face that day.

Jane had been lead back to her bunk and was slowly unpacking the one bag that she was allowed to have, when she heard someone gasp behind her. She whipped around to see the blonde (Maura?) from earlier, standing in the doorway. Looking down Jane realized that her hand was reaching for her service weapon, which had been taken months ago.

"You must have upset someone greatly to get bunked with me." Maura mumbled, not making eye contact or entering the room. Jane quickly recognized the signs of a potential victim of domestic violence. She raised both hands slowly, and sat down on the bunk, putting the blonde in control. She solidified her assumption when Maura slipped into the door and looked through the things that Jane had brought. She looked up and once again Jane was taken by the brilliant green hue coming from Maura's eyes.

"I don't know what you mean. I haven't talked to anyone but you and Chang, so I don't know if I've pissed someone off. All of the staff hates me though, everyone hates a "dirty cop"." Jane started to feel a little suffocated by the woman who was still staring at her intently from the bottom of her bed. She must have realized how she was standing because she took a few weary steps back and sat down on the opposite bunk. The lights clicked off- was it 9 o'clock already?

"I'm not a very good sleeper is what I meant, no one likes to be bunked with me. I...yeah" Maura turned away as her sentence trailed off. She looked down at her wringing hands and shook her head sadly. "Nevermind, I often overshare, I don't mean to bother you if I am. I just don't really get to speak much unless Susie's here. But, she bunks with Martin over in C8, and I only really see her at lunch"

"I get it, it's okay. I'm not a real good sleeper either, I just don't really do it anymore. Besides, I'd be a fuckin' idiot to try and sleep on my first night here." Jane grunted. She didn't want to like anyone here: that also could get you killed. But, something about this woman made Jane want to to know her story. But, she would never ask. It was an unwritten rule that, as a fellow inmate, you never asked your cellmates about anything person unless they volunteered the information. The last thing they wanted to think about was the life they had left behind.

"Well, just know that I'm sorry if I wake you. Please don't touch me though, I tend to..not react well." Maura admitted as she climbed into the bed across from Jane. The only light in their cubicle came from a little illuminated square stuck onto the plastic table the separated the two beds. Maura saw Jane look at it and frowned at the brunette, waiting for a snide comment or a prying question she wasn't equipped to answer. When none came, she realized that maybe Jane could understand just a little bit about her.

"It's an emergency button. I have seizures from an injury I sustained quite a while ago. They generally only happen if I'm sleeping and have a panic attack." Maura explained.

"Hey- it's okay" Jane raised a hand slowly to signal that Maura didn't need to explain any further. "I'm a cop, I get it."

"What rank, if you don't mind me asking?" Maura wasn't just walking the line, she was standing right on it. It was very taboo to ask anyone, especially new inmates, anything at all.

Jane realized that the woman across from her, must have been very lonely to care what rank she was. Well, she was in prison, maybe she was just familiar with Law Enforcement.

"Sergeant Detective Jane Rizzoli. Well, I was only a Sergeant for a month until I landed into trouble." Maura realized that's all Jane was going to say on the matter so she let it go. Jane noticed how the blonde's eyes were always on the door of the cubicle, like she was expecting someone.

"Are you..er..expecting any visitors?" Jane tried to ask this delicately. Whatever the reason for the blonde's glances was, it must be serious.

"Not really. Let's just say that I'm glad that someone is finally willing to sleep here. I know you didn't really get much of a choice. But, I can tell you're a good person so I feel a little bit safer." Maura's eyes widened as she realized how many rules she just had broken with that sentence and started to form an apology when she was silenced again by Jane's hand. That's right, Jane understood.

"Well, I'm gonna try to relax a bit. Goodnight. Can I call you Maura or would you prefer…?" Jane trailed off, hoping that Maura would understand and give her an answer.

"Maura's fine, would you prefer Rizzoli?" Maura asked sleepily.

"You can call me Jane in here. Out there, I'm Vanilla." Jane tested the waters, hoping that if she went by the nickname, the fellow inmates wouldn't realize that she was probably the reason most of them were in here.

Maura mumbled something close to an "okay." and soon Jane could hear her breathing even out. She stayed like that, dozing and listening to the sound of the prison at night, for a few hours until she heard quiet knocking.

Jane slowly looked towards the door, pretending to be asleep. One of the guards was tapping his nightstick on the cement of the walls. He had a hand in his pants, obviously staring at Maura- who was still asleep. Jane's lip curled at the thought of what this man was doing.

"Mhhhhmm, fuck yeah you little slut, I knew that doctors fucked the best. All the school and shit. You're not Dr. Death in the sack are you?" the guard whispered as the hand in his pants sped up. His gaze flicked over to Jane, who still appeared to be asleep. He walked into their room and stood at the foot of Jane's bed, trying to rip the blanket off of her without her noticing.

"Oh, fresh meat for pounding. Wonder if you're a damn kitty muncher like Dr. Death here." the perverted voice of the guard sounded familiar to Jane. That in itself was off putting; she didn't want anyone to recognize her in here. She wanted to do her time or she wanted to be proven innocent, either way she did not want to make friends in here. He leaned over her and unzipped his pants, getting ready to dirty Jane's pajamas, when she suddenly recognized his face.

"Crowe?!" Jane sat up in bed and grabbed the man by his manhood, yanking upwards in the most uncomfortable way possible.

"Rizzoli? What the fuck? How did you get in here? Ew, I can't believe I was trying to picture your butch ass naked. Fucking gross. Maybe you can shove your head between Dr. Death's legs here, get her to stop yelling men's names out loud at night." The guard pushed himself away from Jane, obviously disgusted.

"How the fuck did you end up here? I know that they fired your ass for feeling up a perp. Is that why you got thrown in here?" Jane was pissed. How dare this shit of a man fucking jack off to a woman who was completely oblivious?

"Fuck off Rizzoli, or I'll throw you ass in solitary", Crowe brought his hand up and roughly cupped one of Jane's breasts, showing that he was the dominant one in this place. She didn't have seniority over him here. "Tell the Doc I said 'Hello'".


	61. Coldplay - The Scientist

There's a little bit of sexual assault in this chapter, but someone saves the day! Be warned….

After the disgusting display from Crowe, Jane decided that she was not going to sleep that night. She pulled the thin blanket up to her chin and closed her eyes, listening as hard as she could to the sounds around her. This is how Korsak had taught her to be the most aware of her surroundings. He had taught her almost everything that she knew, and it broke her damn heart to know that he was going to have to find a new partner because of her pride.

_"There is nothing that will come after you that you cannot hear." Korsak had told her. "No matter what your enemy is doing, the sounds they make can give you the upper hand. The only thing opening your eyes is going to do, is get you killed._

She had never forgotten that lesson, and it had come in handy too many times to count. She could hear the Spanish ladies a few rows over, making plans to try and steal some food from the kitchen. She could hear the guards on duty watching porn in the office, and she could hear little whimpers coming from somewhere close to her. Jane lost her focus and opened her eyes.

Maura was scratching at the sheets and moaning. _Wow, some kinda dream. _As soon as Jane tried to relax again, the moans continued- only a bit longer and a little...pained sounding. The brunette sat up in bed and threw her tangled mass of hair back over her shoulders. She squinted in the dark at the writhing form on the bed, and realized that Maura was not having a pleasant dream- she was having a flashback.

_"Please don't touch me though, I tend to..not react well"_

The words ricocheted off the walls of Jane's mind as the pieces clicked into place. The moans escalated into terrified panting and Jane knew that the rest of the ward could hear Maura by now. Were they used to it? Did this happen every night?

"Oh my God, someone shut that _gringa puerca_ up before I stick my dick in her mouth" one of the voices called out in frustration.

"Shut the fuck up bitch, you know she had it tough. Not all of us are in here for hookin' honey" another pissy voice yelled from across the large room.

"Don't let her hear you talk like that you crazy bitches, remember what happens when you piss of Dr. Death" a sleepy voice called from another section of the room. Meanwhile, Maura's pants had elevated into bloodcurdling screams.

"NO. NO- DON'T YOU FUCKING HURT ME AGAIN YOU MONSTER. I WON'T LET YOU TOUCH HER AGAIN. YOU GET YOUR-" Maura's started to stutter in her sleep, making Jane worry. She said not to touch her, but she needed to wake her up.

Maura started to thrash in her sleep, and Jane decided to just react. She stood up and untucked her blanket from the bed, balling it up into a small shape. She threw it at the blonde, hoping that the impact of the fabric would wake up the woman before she slipped into a panic attack. _Well, there went trying to stay out of it._

As soon as the blanket made contact with the blonde, Jane jumped back into bed. Maura's eyes opened and before Jane could even blink, the blonde was on her bed with a scalpel to her neck.

"I told you not to touch me." the blonde snarled at the detective underneath her. The whites of her eyes stood out in the heavy darkness of the prison. She drug the scalpel across Jane's neck, making Jane shiver in fear. She was dangerously close to recreating the very act that had landed Jane here, and she was not going to lose control in here.

"I didn't fucking touch you, I threw a blanket on you so you would wake the fuck up" Jane whispered loudly, not wanting the whole room to hear what was going on. She knew that she could disarm the tiny blonde in a minute, but doing so would result in Jane having to grab her in a way that Maura would mostly likely not react well to.

Maura sat up, still straddling Jane's hips and looked around confused.

"Did… I'm so sorry Jane." the blonde slid off of Jane and quietly got back into bed. Jane could hear the blonde's soft sobs being let loose into a pillow and Jane then realized: Maura had been unconscious the whole time.

"Hey" Jane whispered to the trembling form across the room. Maura's took a deep breath and raised her head, turning to face Jane.

"Hmm?"

"I didn't touch you." Jane smiled, understanding that Maura was embarrassed by her reaction. She hoped that it wouldn't happen again, even though it probably would.

"You didn't? How did I wake up then? I think that I'm just nervous to sleep with someone else in the room, in all honesty" Maura sighed and placed a hand over her heart, which was still beating too quickly to relax.

"I..threw my blanket on you. That's why you have two. I figured if you didn't like people touching you, at least a blanket would help" Jane shrugged in the pale light of the room.

"Well, thankfully I didn't start to seize. Normally any sort of contact with me while I'm under will put me into a panic. But, thank you nonetheless. I'll admit, of all the various attempts to wake me, no one has tried a blanket." Maura's mouth turned into a half deprecating smile. "I'm sorry to have bothered you so much, Jane."

"It's nothin' really. I'm a little too wound up to sleep anyways. Um, I don't know if you already knew or not, but someone stopped by while you were asleep" Jane started her sentence slowly, hoping that Maura didn't take this disgusting news badly.

"I figured. He does it almost every night. I can't tell him to stop, or he'll take my scalpel away. I can't sleep without it" Maura admitted, sticking her hand under her pillow to double check that the utensil was where it was supposed to be.

"Oh, I see. Well, him and I kinda go back. So, I don't think he'll be a problem for a while. Can I ask why you have a scalpel? Not that I mind really, I'm just curious" Jane cringed, she was getting too nosy and it was not safe.

"I'm comfortable with it." Maura noticed Jane's confused look and laughed at how that must sound. "I was a medical examiner before I got here, it's my tool of choice"

"Is that why they call you Dr. Death?"

Maura sat up in bed and looked at Jane with furious eyes, "Who said that?!" she demanded. She glared at the woman across from her who just raised her hands.

"I don't know, someone whispered it. I'm sorry." Jane backtracked- the look of rage on Maura's face was not the look that had been there five seconds ago.

"I'm just not partial to that name, I don't wish to speak further about it." the blonde rolled over, silently ending their conversation. _Good job dumbass. _Jane rolled onto her back and tried her best to relax again, tomorrow would be her first day in this prison, and she wanted to survive it.

* * *

><p>When Maura woke that morning, she realized two things:<p>

One, she still had Jane's blanket. It smelled like the detective: lavender and the musky scent of Jane herself. Maura quickly decided that it was her favorite scent now.

Two, Jane was doing pushups on the floor in just a white men's undershirt and her uniform pants.

Jane's biceps and trapezius muscles were flexing in the most delicious way as the brunette breathed her count.

"...49, 50." Jane jumped up and stretched. She balked at the sight of Maura staring at her from her bed.

"Sorry! Did I wake you?" Jane asked cautiously, wondering if Maura even remembered what had transpired the night before.

"Not at all! I was just admiring your bones- they're exquisite." Maura blushed at the sentiment- she hadn't really meant to say all of that but it seemed intent on tumbling out.

"Oh. Well..ah..thanks?" Jane winked at the sleepy woman. Maura blushed and looked down at her pillow. She sat up and bed and began to pick at a thread on Jane's blanket on her bed.

"I'm sorry for-" Maura started quietly.

"It's forgotten. Can I ask a favor though?" Jane could see the tension leave the blonde's body as she was forgiven for her outburst the previous night.

"Sure; only if I can ask you one more question" Maura bargained. Hopefully Jane would comply- she'd had this question burning in the back of her mind all night.

"I guess that's fair. Okay, will you please let me sit with you again for breakfast? Chang said that you don't like new people, but I really don't want to try and make nice with anyone here" Jade admitted gruffly.

"I really don't like people in general. But new ones are especially wretched. I do believe that I owe you that much though. You're welcome to sit with me from now on, you might just come in handy." Maura smiled slightly and rose from her bed. She shook her bedclothes back to a normal state and turned to the dresser, her back facing Jane. Without a second thought, she stripped off her clothes to change and Jane balked at the sight in front of her.

Bright red lines littered the back of the blonde woman in front of her. They spelled out words that even Jane, a rough detective from south Boston, wouldn't even say. They were quickly covered by Maura's clothes, hidden from the public. Maura turned and noticed Jane's downtrodden expression. She shot Jane a sad smile and walked closer to her.

"Why do you want to be called 'Vanilla'?" Maura asked. It wasn't the kind of name you would find in a ladies prison, unless she was alluding to race. Jane titled her head down to make eye contact with the smaller woman as her wayward hair fell forward.

"Because I like my women white and sweet" Jane winked and walked around Maura to stand where the woman had just occupied. Mimicking the actions of her blonde bunkmate, Jane also stripped and changed into her daytime uniform. When she turned around, she expected Maura to be at least a little unnerved. She had not predicted the near-predatory look that the woman was giving her.

"So, Vanilla" the name rolled off of Maura's tongue in three separate, seductive syllables. "I like it."

Jane felt a blush rise from her chest as Maura bit her lip and nodded. Maura grabbed the blanket off of her bed and threw it back on Jane's bunk, making sure to stretch just enough so the brunette could catch a delicious glimpse of her cleavage. With a giggle and a wink, Maura stood back up and walked out of the cubicle, towards the showers, leaving Jane standing there slack-jawed and more turned on than she'd ever been. She shook her head to clear her thoughts and walked out to the washroom, hoping that it would go without any issues.

* * *

><p>Jane hugged herself under the ice-cold spray of the prison shower. In the five minutes that she'd been in here, she'd already been violated multiple times. She inhaled quickly and tensed when she heard the curtain slide open again.<p>

A very cold hand wove around her hip, slowly nearing towards her center. Jane jerked away as the hand changed directions and squeezed her breast, hard. The detective refused to look behind her, refused to give anyone any satisfaction from her pain. The hand on her chest tightened around her nipple while the woman's other hand slapped Jane's ass. As soon as the assault had started, Jane was left alone in the shower once again. Exhaling in relief, Jane began to wash her trembling body.

Before she could turn to exit the stall, four women burst into the shower and pinned her against the wall. A sour pair of panties was shoved into Jane's mouth as hands touched her all over. Her body betrayed her mind, the scent of arousal met her abusers nostrils and they all laughed in unison. Jane spat the underwear into the face of whoever was in front on her. The tallest of the four backhanded Jane with so much force that her head bounced off of the cement of the shower wall. Jane felt blood fill her mouth from the impact of the slap. She turned to retaliate, when a fifth woman poked her head into the stall.

"Yo, Dr. Death is comin!" she whispered, motioning for the women to leave Jane- who was clinging to the shower head, staring at the bits of hair and her scalp on the wall. The gang left quickly, not even stopping to put their clothes back on. No one pissed off the Doctor.

Maura's head popped into the stall and she looked at Jane with soft eyes. Words weren't necessary as Jane spat out the blood onto the floor, making the water turn a bright pink. Maura knew what had happened, and she would make sure it didn't happen again.

"Who did this?" The blonde demanded. She was met with a shrug from the too-proud cop in front of her. She didn't expect an answer honestly, she really just wanted to convey that she did care. She removed her own towel, not caring about her state of undress anymore. She'd already shown Jane her scars, there wasn't anything much more intimate than that.

She grabbed the little washcloth from the caddy and proceeded to wash the shaking woman off. Jane was receding further into herself when Maura placed a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"Do you need medical attention, did they…?" Maura trailed off towards the end of her question and changed tactics. "Are you okay to walk?"

When Jane nodded and slowly stood up, Maura noticed the scratch marks going from the brunette's chest down to her core. They really had beaten her badly- the girls probably recognized her from their arrests. Jane brought Maura in for an awkward embrace; their bodies barely touched but Maura understood what it meant. This was Jane Rizzoli's way of thanking her without words.

They broke apart and Jane walked back into the open changing area. Maura had really cleared the place out when she entered. Her clothes were missing- not that she expected them to still be there after the assault she'd just experienced. She walked directly to the laundry area and grabbed the first pair of whites she found. She didn't care that her hair was still matted with blood, or that she hadn't taken enough time to dry off and her front was becoming more and more translucent. All she cared about was making it through this day so she could try and sleep tonight. _The first 24 hours are the worst Jane and you've already made it through 20 of them, you can do it._

* * *

><p>Jane entered the loud cafeteria and immediately spotted Chang sitting by herself at the table in the far corner. She looked to the breakfast line and noticed the evil grin of the kitchen staff. <em>Well, there goes breakfast too.<em> Jane lamented sadly.

She slid onto the bench across from the quiet woman and cleared her throat.

"Ah, Maura said I could sit here. Sorry if I'm intruding."

"No, it's fine. I was just worried because I heard one of the girls saying that she was in the shower with someone. I figured it was you, but I don't like assuming or guessing."

"Hey Chang. Can I ask you a question about Maura?" when the woman simply shrugged in response, Jane pressed on:

"Why does everyone call Maura Dr. Death?" Jane anxiously awaited her answer. She was pretty sure she knew why but just wanted this confirmation. The woman's eyes widened as she exhaled slowly. After a moment's pause, she answered the question.

"Two reasons. One is the from her career. Maura was the Chief Medical Examiner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. The people there started the nickname 'Queen of the Dead', because she was seemingly emotionally inept and did not like to be anything but precise in her work. One of the detectives from Boston actually is a guard here. He's the one who started the name up here. But, the second reason is the reason she's known as Dr. Death here, is because if you make her angry, or do her wrong, you will not live to see tomorrow. No one knows how, and no one ever knows when it happens, all that we know is that after someone wrongs Maura, they are never seen again"

"That's not very accurate, Susie. You know better than to assume something without evidence. Have I taught you nothing?" Maura winked at the woman, who just paled in response. "Most of my reputation is fabrication, but who's around to tell any different?" Maura said as she approached the table. Jane just gulped and turned around slowly, had Maura heard their entire conversation? Maura smiled sweetly at the pair and dug into her oatmeal and muffin without another mention of their previous conversation.


	62. Amanda Palmer - The Killing Type

Maura knew that Jane probably hadn't eaten since the previous day, so she quietly pulled the napkin with a muffin stuffed inside out of the waistband of her pants. She brushed her fingers on the thigh next to her and quietly transferred the parcel into Jane's possession without as much as a blip in the conversation.

"So, what have you been assigned to do for your chores?" Maura asked Jane- her hands still brushing up against the long fingers of the detective. They had shared a moment, whatever kind of moment it was, in their room and Maura could sense the change in their relationship- they were closer than just bunkmates now.

"I actually don't know, they said that they would tell me everything on Friday since my paperwork wasn't in yet. So, I have 48 more hours to be lazy around this wondrous vacation spot." Jane motioned at the cafeteria, the sarcasm dripping from her voice like hot candle wax. "What do you do here Maura?"

"I clean" Maura didn't bother to explain further, obviously not keen on the subject. She stood up and smoothed out her cotton top. "Would you care to join me while I make my rounds today? I can show you the place." Maura extended her hand out to the detective. Susie's eyes widened- she'd never seen Maura take to someone so quickly. Maybe the two would become friends, and Susie could go back to eating her meals with her old group, one that didn't terrify her.

Jane pondered the invitation for a few moments. She could spend the day talking to an attractive woman, or she could sit in her bunk all day and listen to women doing lewd things on every possible surface of the prison.

"Sure, I'll join you. Sounds like fun" Jane took the muffin, still being held tightly in her hand, and shoved it into the front of her pants. She stood up and followed Maura to the garbage, and then out of the room. Sixty sets of evil eyes followed the Detective and the Doctor as they left, hands still intertwined.

* * *

><p>"So, I know that you saw them" Maura started to mop the floor of the bathroom. The stained gray strands hit the cement floor with a disgusting "plop!". Maura mopped in circles- her little pattern echoing in her head. <em>1...2...3...flip...1…2...3 dip<em>.

"Yeah, I did" Jane admitted, knowing what Maura was inferring to. She sat in one of the porcelain sinks, her legs swinging as the steel faucet dug into her back. The meticulous blonde had insisted that Jane not touch the floor while she was mopping, or else Jane would be helping to redo the grimy floor.

"I was married once, to a man named Garrett. Fuck, I hate that name now" Maura mumbled the last part to the floor, embarrassed at her reaction to just his name, even five years later. "He-ahem- excuse me, he wrote those things on me." the smaller woman was still having a conversation with the floor, with Jane eavesdropping. Jane made a noise that was part sob and part sigh- how could someone hurt someone like Maura? She hadn't even known her for 24 hours and she knew that the blonde was a good person.

"You- you killed him didn't you?" Jane whispered, almost in tears at the thought of someone scarring her beautiful skin. Those words were written on her forever, and not a single one of them were true.

Maura nodded, silent tears falling from her red eyes. She'd never told anyone other than the judge her story before. It's not like it was a secret, it's just that no one had asked her. Not a single person in this prison had spoken to her voluntarily. So, the fact that Jane had readily accepted her, faults and all, made Maura feel like she was wanted again, it was like remembering that she was still a human.

"Hey, hey- don't cry. I don't like it when pretty girls cry." Jane tried to best to sound cheerful, when she actually was still being plagued by images of Maura being tortured. Maura smiled appreciatively and wrung the mop out one last time. She stood up and motioned for Jane to jump down, which the brunette did. Jane stood on her tiptoes as she tried to keep the fresh floor clean. Maura soon joined her as the couple walked to the utility closet.

"I do the bunks next while the others are out doing their service. I have to get done before noon, or they will come back and make a mess of the place" Maura grabbed a fresh mop and a bucket full of cleaners. Both of the women were too lost in thought when they entered the rooms to see the present that was left on Jane's bed. Jane sat down without thinking and a putrid stench filled her nostrils.

"Fucking disgusting! Someone fucking shit on my bed. What the fuck?" Jane yelled, taking her pants off and balling everything up and throwing it on the floor. Maura, after hearing the commotion, left her cleaning station by the door and walked briskly to her room. She gasped as she saw Jane in just panties and a white shirt, sitting on the floor of their room, crying next to a mysteriously stained set of sheets.

"What happened?" Maura knelt down to the woman, checking her over for any abrasions. Jane just started to cry harder, her breaths coming in short gasps.

"I didn't fucking sign up for this bullshit. Fuckin A." Jane screamed at no one in particular. When she regained her composure a moment later, she continued:

"I took the fall for my brother- the drunk. He was driving my Ma's Buick with a six pack and a rock and you know what that idiot does, he hits a fucking priest! You know what's worse? I was in the car with him, and I never even noticed all of the drugs in the car. I'm fucking trained to spot things like that. But I have a fucking blind spot when it comes to my deranged family, I guess. I knew that my career was shot either way. Once the brass thinks you're dirty, you're pretty much done for. So, I just said everything was mine, it was that or my Ma could hate me even more for letting Tommy do that stupid shit in her car." Jane told Maura sadly. The tears had receded but their tracks still marred the olive face of the woman.

"Everyone knows that I lied about them being mine, and I assume that they're going to try and prove me innocent, even though I asked them not to." Jane admitted sadly. She knew that she didn't deserve what was happening to her, but she hoped and prayed that getting his sister thrown in prison for a murder she didn't commit would make him come around.

"I'm sorry Jane, that's truly saddening. You're a brave soul to come into here willingly. I'll admit though, if you do get let out of here, I'll be saddened deeply. You're the first person in this place to talk to me except for Susie, and I assume that she's regretting that decision." Maura blushed with the sudden admission. She stood up and brought the detective up with her. She grabbed the ball of sheets and walked out into the hallway, holding the bundle far away from her. She pushed the laundry door open and walked up to the table where the four women who had assaulted Jane in the shower were doing their assigned chores. Maura walked up and dropped the sheets on the table and just glowered at the women, who in turn just paled and nodded slowly. Suddenly a new set of sheets and blanket were quickly set in their place.

"I need a uniform too. medium top, large pants. Make sure the string works" Maura tried her best to keep her tone even, she didn't want to lose control in front of these women. The clothes were added to the pile and Maura silently thanked them, even though they were the culprits. She walked out of the door, and stopped for just a moment until it shut. Not realizing that the doctor was still there, one of the women spoke up.

"Ay yo that bitch is fuckin weird. D. Death and oopsie poopsie can have some clinically insane sex in the bunks before I talk to that fucking pig. That fuckin bitch threw me in this shithole. Haha, shithole. I coulda been a comedian." _One. _

"I wonder if the Doc lets Hawaii Five-oh frisk her for weapons, we all know that she's packin under that pillow of hers" another voice joined in. _Two. _

"I think they're kinda cute. I mean, pig's only been here like a day and she ain't eaten nothin yet. Maybe she's saving for the last supper- ayyyyy?" the third woman made sucking noises as the group giggled. _Three. _

"Whatever they do, I just hope that Deputy Crowe don't start whackin off to me, I don't need no pig juice on my sheets." The leader said. _Four. _

Maura just smiled and walked out of the door. _Four._

She returned to find Jane laying on the bare mattress, hair spread out and her hands clenched into fists. Maura hovered over the woman and laid the blankets down next to her. Jane rolled onto her stomach and look off the side as Maura sat down tentatively on Jane's bed. A cold hand met her back and started to rub comforting circles until soon Jane was breathing heavily. Maura decided that a nap did sound good so she stripped down to her underwear and climbed into her bed, feeling for her trusty protection under the pillow.

* * *

><p>When Jane woke up, she turned to realize that a warm pair of hazel eyes was staring back at her from the bed across from her. A small smile spread across the pretty face of the blonde as she winked and climbed out of the bed. Jane's eyes travelled down the front of the woman who was redressing in front of her. <em>Man, she's really attractive under all of those baggy clothes. <em>Jane decided to act on Maura's lead and get dressed too. They'd slept through lunch and it was nearing dinner time.

They both started to clean the rest of the floor that had been neglected since Jane had found the mess on her bed, eventually finishing it 45 minutes later. Jane offered to put the cleaning supplies back so Maura could hold their place in line. The brunette felt oddly vulnerable walking the hallway of the prison alone, it was an unsettling feeling- she hated feeling like she was on defense all the time.

She joined Maura, who was standing in front of the door with no one behind her, letting a stray hand caress the soft skin of her bare arm. Maura was intoxication to Jane, like a forbidden fruit that she wanted to taste but...it just wasn't time yet. She refused to sleep with another woman only 26 hours into her prison stay. Besides, she had other priorities, like trying to stay alive. The line moved and Jane shuffled behind Maura, who grabbed a tray and started to load things onto it. First, she grabbed a large sandwich and two apples. Then, she selected a few crackers, and a couple stalks of celery. She finished with what looked like it could have been apple pie...a few days ago.

Once Jane walked up and saw the glare that was still present in the staff's eyes, she realized that she was still not trusted and therefore would not be eating for a bit. So, instead of throwing a fit, Jane just walked towards their table. _Their table_. The thought made Jane smile slightly. She saw Susie sitting on the edge, looking paler than normal. The dark haired woman was biting her nails and rocking back and forth. _Probably fighting a hell of a hunger pain_.Jane thought.

"Do-do you think Maura would get mad if I just went back to bed?" Chang asked Jane, showing no emotion.

"I think you're fine Chang, Maura seems to be having a good day." Jane smiled, trying to let the girl know that she had a friend, a silent ally, here. Susie just nodded and stood up, wavering at she did so. She sauntered off towards the door, her hands wringing the whole way.

Jane sat down and put her head on her arms, staring at her sandal-clad feet through the honeycomb pattern of the table. She felt Maura slide in next to her and start to rub her back lovingly.

"Hey, pretty girl, I brought you some food. I don't care if they give me shit on a stick tomorrow, but you haven't eaten in at least 24 hours and I know that you threw away that muffin after your bed debacle." Maura slid a sandwich over to Jane, who promptly sat up and looked directly at the blonde.

"You- you didn't have to do that, you know. You're gonna get yourself into trouble, and I don't wanna make your life even more complicated" Jane started to protest as Maura shook her head.

"Don't be silly Jane, I handle every problems that comes my way"

* * *

><p>After dinner they had just sat in the activities room, bonding over how no one would come and visit them. They'd tried to watch television, but the only thing that the girls would watch was "Jersey Shore", or "Jersey Whores" as Jane had dubbed it.<p>

After their recreation time was over, Jane realized that she was exhausted- even after her two hour nap. So, she bid Maura goodnight and went into the bathroom to brush her teeth and relieve herself before she tucked in for the night.

Once Jane was in the solitary stall with a door, she exhaled a breath that she didn't even realize she was holding. She started to think about everyone at home, and how they must be reacting to this situation. After a few minutes, a heavy knock and a "Dude, I gotta shit" broke Jane from her reverie. Jane jumped up and flushed quickly, exiting the stall as quickly as she could. Thinking of Tommy and Frankie, her other brother, trying to get her apartment ready so her Ma could move in, made Jane's heart hurt and she did not want to break down in front of anyone here. If she did, she wouldn't hear the end of it. So, she raced past the other doors and slid into her and Maura's cubicle. She smiled when she saw a piece of chocolate sitting in the area where a different substance had been set there before. _I wonder how she got chocolate into here, she must have someone on the outside._ Jane contemplated how Maura could have snuck that in, while happily munching on the little square. It's funny how something so small could make Jane's whole mood turn around.

She finished her treat and snuggled down into her blankets. If she got up early enough, she could do her whole ab routine for Maura in the morning. _Don't think like that Jane, don't get attached._

Too late.

Later that night, after everyone was asleep, Maura got out of her bed silently. Jane, still loaded with her detective instinct, opened her eyes and sat up.

"Whacha doin Maur?" Jane mumbled at the blonde, who just held up a finger for her to be quiet. She snuck up to Jane and pushed her hair aside, whispering into her ear:

"I just have to use the restroom, but I had a nightmare again. Would it be okay if I shared a bed with you?"

Jane nodded and blushed when the lips of the blonde place a tiny kiss on her cheek. Jane laid back in her bed and smiled like a teenager in love. She was trying to damndest not to think about the doctor in _that_ kind of way, but was failing miserably.

Maura came back in after a few minutes and slid her cold body into Jane's warm blankets. She wiped her wet hands on the sheets and snuggled down, sighing when a lazy arm wrapped around her torso. Normally, she did not like to be touched without permission first, but something about the subconscious gesture from the brunette made Maura feel loved. She could feel Jane's warm breath on her neck as she stared at her empty bed across the room. After a while she drifted off, sleeping terror-free for the first time since she could remember.

When Jane woke up the next morning, the first thing she realized was that she was not alone in bed. After a quick search with one eye (the other just refused to open this early) she saw honey blonde locks draped over a silky skin that was taunting her. The blonde's pajama top had ridden up, showcasing Maura's voluptuous hips and feminine waist. The brunette just stayed like that until she heard the steady breathing of the body in front of her. Maura rolled over and placed a loving kiss on Jane's lips, catching the woman by surprise.

"Good morning beautiful" Jane whispered, kissing the blonde again. The spent the next few minutes just cuddled up next to each other under Jane's blanket, until they heard a yell from a few rooms over.

"OH MY GOD, MARIA?!" voices began screaming and crying as the guards "on duty" woke up from their slumber in the office and began to make their way over to the noise. _One_

"OH MY GOD, SHE'S DEAD!" another voice cried out from the other side of the room. _Two_

"WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO GLORIA?" a heavily accented voice joined the commotion. _Three_

"GUYS, GUYS, WHERE'S SHELBY?" a fourth voice cried, higher and higher until her voice became a shriek. _Four. _

Jane looked bewildered at the blonde in her arms, who had started to giggle in response to the din. After seeing Jane's expression, the blonde just smiled into Jane's shoulder

"I love you Jane" Maura made eye contact with the brunette, who just realized that she had fallen for Maura the former Medical Examiner, but Dr. Death had fallen in love with _her. _


	63. Mumford & Sons - I Will Wait

**Someone on Tumblr dared me to write the saddest fic that I could without any major character death. So, I wrote this. There is a death, but it's just a side character that doesn't really matter. So, sorry if you cry. There's a petition on Tumblr for me to write a sequel ahahaha. Thanks folks :D**

2010:

"Hey, how long you got?"

Jane pulled the sleeves of her suit jacket and checked the watch on her wrist. She'd tried to avoid it as much as she could- why get so nervous about something that was going to happen anyways. She glanced at Barry Frost, who had asked her the question, and smiled like a proud sibling. The dark-skinned man had traded his shirt and khakis in for a suit and tie. He looked so dapper, like a debonair next to Jane, who looked like...Jane.

"Still got a like two years man, I've got some time to fuck shit up still" Jane whispered lovingly, fixing the tie on her partner. She brushed away dust that didn't exist off the dark fabric of his shoulder. Barry Frost, Jane's partner and best friend, was going to meet his soulmate today. He'd been waiting for this moment since he'd gotten his watch at age 13- the youngest age available. Then there were people like Jane who didn't bother with one until she'd graduated high school. If she wanted to fall in love with someone, she'd do it after high school.

"Man, I don't know Jane- I still think that I'm not ready. I mean, what if I change my mind or something, and completely ruin this plan? I still have 20 minutes, and we've been standing here in the park so long, that most people probably think we're on the date. I don't know Jane, I- I'm just so nervous." Frost stammered, gripping the roses in fist so hard that the plastic around it started to crinkle. Jane just laughed and grabbed his shaking hands. She rubbed her thumb affectionately across his knuckles, feeling his muscles relax after a bit.

"You're gonna be fine dude. She's gonna love you, okay? Who couldn't, you're a great guy!" Jane started to tear up a bit, it was emotional when you're best friend was about to meet their mate. Deep down, Jane was kind of envious, she wanted to meet her soulmate now- not a year later, but she'd never admit that out loud. Besides, if she met him, who could guarantee that she would even love him? How could- nevermind. Today was all about Frost and his happiness.

Jane sniffled a bit, willing the tears in her eyes not to spill, if anyone knew that she got this emotional over romance she'd never hear the end of it.

"I'm gonna go okay? Call me if anything doesn't happen, I'll be sitting at home with a beer and Jo." the brunette hugged her best friend once more and smiled even brighter when his watch chirped, signalling that he had five more minutes.

He just nodded, not trusting his voice to properly convey anything right now. He turned around and exhaled all of the jumbled thoughts and emotions. He sat on a bench and watched Jane jog back down the path towards her apartment. To distract himself, he wondered how she'd be acting when her watch went off. A warm hand touched his shoulder and he jerked his head up and stared. She had a nervous smile and big brown doe eyes, with a stellar pearly smile.

"Ha, I know this is awkward but, I'm here..and I think that I'm underdressed." The woman said staring at her jeans and polo. "But, I just got off work at Boston Joe's and I thought I wouldn't make it! I assume you're here because…" the woman trailed off and sat down next to Barry and clasped her hands nervously. He saw the slim watch on her wrist and laughed, they'd even picked the same color.

"I'm Detective Barry Frost, and I think that we're soulmates…?"

"Netta, Netta Wilson. Hi Barry, wanna go get some coffee" She asked giggling like a small child. She thought that knowing that you were going to meet your soulmate would dull this feeling- the butterflies that everyone talked about. But, they were there, and boy they felt great.

"Sure, we can go to Starbucks though, I won't tell your boss"

"Okay"

* * *

><p><strong>1990<strong>

"Hey, Maura- what time is it?" Maura glanced at the silver band on her wrist. She couldn't help but grimace at the large "20 years. five months, three days, and 40 minutes" that stared back at her. It was sad really, every other girl in her high school had their numbers always on display. Most of them sported numbers that indicated that they would be well on their way to meeting their domestic partner before the turn of the century. But poor Maura-the-Bora, was going to be single woman until she was nearly 40.

"Half past four" Maura gave Susie, her lab partner and best friend, a clear and concise answer. The dark-haired woman grimaced when she realized what she'd done, Maura hated to be reminded that she was going to wait so long to meet her soulmate. Susie's watch, which she only put on at home, told her that she still had a few years to wait, which was great- she still needed to make it into college.

"Sorry Maura, I didn't mean-" Susie started.

"No- I'm being immature. I should know better than to antagonize about an outcome that I cannot change. I should focus on my studies anyways. they're more important than finding love.

Susie just frowned, she hated it when Maura talked like that. Maura was wonderful person, and no one but her seemed to care. Her parents were too busy gallivanting across Europe to realize that their daughter, needed them here. Maura Isles just didn't realize just how wonderful of a human she was.

"Hey, wanna go to the cinema tonight? Edward Scissorhands is playing, and we all know how much you love Winona Ryder." Susie teased Maura, remembering how hard her best friend had swooned over the girl in Heathers their sophomore year. Now Maura, being a senior, had been able to register for her fan club. It was adorable watching her get excited over having a member ID in the double digits.

"I don't know Susie, this science lab is due this week and I'd rather not do horribly." Maura bristled. She could tell that her friend was just being nice and trying to get out of her house.

"Whatever Captain Maura, you've never gotten below a 100%, I'm sure you'll do fine." Susie jumped down from the desk she was sitting on and started to gather her things. Besides, you just spent an entire study hall talking. Not getting Senioritis are we?" Susie lightly punched Maura's sweater-covered arm.

"I hardly think that applies. Besides, it's not even a medically recognized d-"

"Whatever Maura, it's okay" The bell rang before either one of the girls could finish their conversation. Susie scooted out of the door, blending into the crowd. Maura just sauntered out of the door towards her locker. She put her school things away and took out her keys and purse. The sun glared down on the sullen girl, making her shadow taunt her from the sidewalk. She got into her car and just sat there for a moment, willing herself to not dwell on the fact she had to wait one-fifth of a century to find a single person on this planet to love her. Could she even wait that long? With a heavy heart and mind, Maura started her car and drove home.

When she got home, she set her purse and keys on the wooden pegs next to the door. Avoiding as much contact as she could, she tiptoed up the stairs hoping that neither the housekeeper or the gardener could hear her. Her door swung open and Maura flopped onto her bed. She took off her watch and sighed in relief when the numbers faded from the screen. The blonde rolled over and stared at her ceiling, playing the game she played every day when she got home from school.

_I wonder if she'll have curly hair_

_I wonder if she likes puppies_

_Maybe she'll even like cuddling. _

_So long as she likes me I suppose I can't be very disappointed._

Maura burst into tears, like she did every day. _I just don't want to be disappointed. _

* * *

><p><strong>2012<strong>

Jane could feel herself waking up and groaned, she felt like shit. It was to be expected actually, she had drank an entire bottle of Jager last night- if she remembered correctly. Her first thought was to call Frost and ask how she's gotten home, but then she realized** why** she gotten so trashed last night:

It was Frost's wedding night.

Jane smiled tightly as she rolled over to smother her hungover face into the pillow. Jane cried so many times last night that she felt like she'd been hit by a bus today. She surely looked like it too. Cavanaugh, after seeing how well they'd cleared out the bar, had given all of the Rizzoli's the day off to recuperate.

Jo jumped on the bed and snuggled her little puppy butt right into Jane's sternum. The laid like that for another hour, until the pup started to whimper and do her potty dance.

"Okay JoJoBean, I gotcha. Just a minute." Jane muttered and rolled out of bed, hissing at the cold air around her. She quickly threw on a hoodie and a pair of running shorts. She slipped her feet into her sandals and twisted her hair into a bun with one hand- a skill that she'd perfected since the age of 12.

She grabbed Jo's leash and clipped it to her collar. She cursed and went back into her bedroom for her phone and wallet. She might as well stop and get some coffee on their walk, so she could at least say that she ventured outside today. Finally, she opened the door and locked it behind her. Jo sprinted her furry white self down the stairs and out the door, nearly tripping Jane by wrapping the leash around the tall brunette.

The sun was bright, too bright for hungover Jane Rizzoli. She held up a hand to shield the offending light and walked slowly to Jo's tree that she loved so much. While the little dog did her business, Jane thought about the wedding the night before. It had really given her a ray of hope for her romantic life. It was really hard to date someone knowing that they obviously weren't going to last. Frost and Netta had truly been made for each other, in Jane's opinions, and it was nice to see her partner so happy! Ever since she'd left him on the bench a two years ago, he'd been walking on sunshine.

It was refreshing for Jane to see a love like that after her parent's had split. It was difficult to think that if only they'd had their watches, they wouldn't have had to marry and find out that they just didn't work. They could still get them now, but it was very probable that their soulmates had passed them while they'd been married. There was nothing worse than seeing someone's watch read 00:00 for more than a second. It meant that their time for true love had passed, and they would either have to search the globe for love, or just admit that they would never meet their soulmate. Jane cursed the watches existence for ruining people's lives like that, but she was also grateful for the heads up- it had saved her from many an unwanted suitor.

_You still need to find your damn watch, Jane. It's been exactly two years, and when you checked it last month, you only had 32 days left. How exciting. _

Jane was apprehensive about the whole thing, honestly. So, she just lived her life as best as she could in hopes that she would be in the right place at the right time? It was just so...specific that Jane doubted it would even work. _Besides, you'll probably get some stupid jock who only likes sports illustrated and women's volleyball. Well, at least you'd have that in common. Serves you right for being the damn closet so long you pussy. You're doomed to marry a stupid, dense man. _

Jane jumped a bit when Jo nipped at her leg, letting her know that she was cold. Jane huffed and turned around, coffee be damned. Maybe she'd clean her house and try to find her watch anyways, she hadn't seen it since Frost's bachelor party last week, and a new one was just too much money. They got more expensive every year after you turned 13, so getting one now at Jane's age was just ridiculous.

She unlocked her door and unclipped Jo, who just ran up to the couch and pounced on one of the side pillows that her Ma had brought over weeks ago. She turned in a circle three times and settled down for her afternoon nap. _Must have been a strenuous peeing session._

Jane just tossed a look around her apartment and picked a thing to do first: the dishes.

She ran the hot water for a minute before putting in the stopper. As the water filled up around the plates and bowls, Jane imagined what it would feel like to have two arms snake around her waist and a delicate chin set itself on her shoulders.

_Would it feel nice to sway back and forth_

_Maybe they'll smell nice, like vanilla_

_Perhaps they'd get married at Fenway_

_That is, if she found them. _

_Or if they found her. _

* * *

><p>Maura gave herself a once-over in the mirror and flatted non-existent wrinkles on her dress. She was nervous, and it was showing.<p>

_Today's the day Maura, the day you've waited 25 years for._

Susie walked out of the crime lab and walked towards her old friend, smiling as she saw just how happy Maura seemed to be. The blonde had lead a life of solitude and sadness, never quite feeling as if she belonged. Susie had idly stood by while Maura had tried her damndest to appease her never-happy parents. They probably hadn't spoken for at least three years, and Maura seemed to lose a bit of herself with each passing day.

Susie had already settled down with her boyfriend, Scott. They'd met just as the watch said they would. They had contemplated marriage multiple times, to the point where he'd proposed numerous times and Susie kept saying not yet. He thought that she was waiting for a promotion, or for a good date. What he didn't realize is that Susie was not going to get married while Maura still remained alone. She couldn't do that to her, it would break Maura. Susie and Bass, Maura's tortoise, were the only people on this planet who ever listening to what she really said. To take that away would shatter Maura.

"Are you excited Maura? I'm so impatient- you'll have to tell me everything tomorrow! I even told Scott to go hang with his bar friends because you and I, we're having a friend day- no matter what happens!" Susie clapped her hand excitedly. She gathered up her things and ran up to Maura, looking directly into her hazel eyes and seeing the last glimmer of hope for the blonde.

"I'll see you later, okay? Text me if anything goes awry" Maura nodded and smiled at the shorter woman, who was standing on her tiptoes trying to stare directly at Maura. She glanced at the silver band that Maura still wore, seeing the bright 48:35 on the screen, she still had the better part of an hour to prepare her house if Maura's soulmate didn't show.

When the door clicked shut after Susie had left for the day, Maura looked herself over in the mirror once more. _Maura, you look fine. You know it's not your dress that you have to worry about. Just speak in clear, quick sentences, and maybe you won't scare this person off. After today, you won't be alone again- ever. You did it, you've overcome so much and here you are today: ready to meet your soulmate. _

Maura grabbed her clutch off the steel table and walked towards the door leading out. She shut the lights off and stared back into the morgue- it would be so easy to just stay in here and wait for the watch to count down to zero. She could then stop worrying and just realize that maybe she just wasn't cut out for happiness.

Her watch beeped at the half hour mark, prompting Maura to hurry and lock the door. She quickly left the morgue and got into the elevator. She pushed the buttons to take her to the base floor and tried to steady her breathing. If she hyperventilated now, she'd surely not make it. The familiar "ding!" rang out and Maura stepped out into the lobby. For some reason she felt that she wanted to walk through the park before settling in for the night, maybe that's where her soulmate would be. The park was about 10 minutes away and she had...15 minutes to go. So, she walked out the door and onto the street.

* * *

><p>"Shit! Fuckin shit!" Jane jumped around trying to put on pants. Had she shaved? Did she smell funny?<p>

Jane had just finished the dishes and was working on getting the vacuum out of her closet when she'd spotted her watch on top of the towels. Of course, she had no idea how it had gotten there, but when Jane put it on and started it up, she saw that she'd only had 20 minutes to get to…wherever she was going. Which lead to Jane trying to shower and change into decent clothes that didn't smell like black licorice from all the Jager that she'd sweated out while cleaning

Her watch beeped five minutes and then Jane felt it, she needed to go to the park where Frost had met Netta. If she ran, she could get there in three and pretend that she was waiting. So, she threw some pants and a t-shirt on, making sure to swipe a bit of perfume behind her ears, she was going to meet her soulmate, she could as least smell pretty for him.

She grabbed a water bottle and blazed out her front door so quickly that she nearly fell down two flights of stairs. Hmm, maybe her soulmate was a paramedic.

The park was only two block away, but Jane had to cross a busy street to get there. Once she finally crossed, she check. 1:34, whew. She still had time. There were tons of people here : There was a guy reading the paper on a bench, maybe it was him? There was a girl talking on her phone, yelling at someone. _Yeah, you're not that lucky Jane. _She walked a bit further ahead and checked her watch 00:45, shit. Well, there was a dude in a prison vest, maybe she was doomed to marry someone she'd have to arrest later in love. _That seems like more your style Jane, you've always known how to pick them. _

Her watch beeped, saying she had thirty seconds. A figure blew past her, almost knocking her over in the process. After flipping him the bird, she realized that he seemed to be paying attention to his hip when running. _He has to be packin heat- who else wears a gun in public. _

Suddenly the guy turned around, making eye contact with Jane. She knew him from somewhere. She just didn't know where. She went to turn around when she saw the man reach for his pocket. Knowing what was gonna happen in this crowded park, Jane took off at full speed- soulmate be damned. She didn't want to have a mass shooting on her hands in a park .

* * *

><p>"I don't know Susie!" Maura squealed into her phone. She'd gotten herself too worked up and had needed to call her best friend to keep her calm. "I just don't see anyone here who seems remotely interested in me. Oh shoot, I've only got 45 seconds left, I'll call you back!" Maura mashed the buttons on the screen to hang up and threw the phone in her purse. She scanned the park again, feeling vulnerable. Someone in this park was her soulmate, and it bothered Maura terribly to not know who it was.<p>

She stood up to stretch her legs and and jumped out of her skin when she heard a loud noise ring out. She turned her head towards the noise to see an older gentleman collapse onto the ground, gun in hand. Given the blood spatter on the cement, Maura ascertained that this man had just taken his own life. She went to go call 911 when she felt the mass panic of the people in the park start to creep in. Suddenly mass chaos broke out at families ran back to their cars, covering their children's eyes. Men gasped at the sight and lost their lunches. The runners on the paths turned around and sprinted home, even if it meant going an extra five miles. People were pushing past Maura screaming so loudly that she couldn't even think clearly. She was so close to finally being able to get into her purse, when someone ran right into her, knocking her back onto the bench, the person threw back a hurried "sorry!" and kept running towards the man. As if on cue, Maura's watch beeped, signalling that she had missed her soulmate in all of this bustle. She had missed the one opportunity to feel real happiness.

* * *

><p>Jane saw the man lift the gun to his head, and took off as fast as she could. She dropped her wallet and looked back to make sure that it landed in the grass. She turned back around just in time to see him pull the trigger. She darted around people who had started to panic and advanced on the man. She jumped over garbage and discarded belongings from people who were just too eager to leave. She felt her ankle roll as she tipped forward, slamming into a woman who just just stood up. Jane threw her head back and yelled out a "sorry!" while limping towards the man.<p>

She got on the phone to call in the scene, when her watch went off. Fuck, she'd probably ran right past her soulmate. _Well, that's just time number 584 that your job has won out over your life, Jane. Maybe you're just meant be that lonely older detective that everyone shoots sad looks at when other people get married. Well, at least you can still take people home for awhile, they just won't ever make you happy. _

She felt a tear slide down her cheek as she took in exactly what had happened. She had let herself get excited at the prospect, and this what happened. She dialed 911 and scanned the park, maybe she could catch a glimpse of the man who was supposed to make her happy. _It could have been a woman Jane, but you'll never know. _

"This is Detective Jane Rizzoli- badge number Victor-825 and I need to report a self inflicted GSW on an older man in Central Park. No, he's dead. But, there's mass panic going on. Okay." Jane hung up, they said they'd be there in two minutes. So, that meant that it was okay to cry for a minute, right? No one would have to know, she'd tell Frost that she had lost her watch and that she'd find it someday. Too bad it would be too late.

* * *

><p>Maura hovered over the body of her latest autopsy, trying her best not to break down. <em>Not only did you miss your soulmate by mere seconds, you also witness this man shoot himself. What could drive a man to such lengths?<em>

Maura cut off the man's clothes and gasped when she realized that he was also wearing a watch. She was curious and peaked at the time, her heart breaking when she saw his numbers flashing, stuck at 00:00, just like hers. . He had probably been looking for his soulmate too. She heard a knock on the door and got the hand signal that someone was here to view the body. She brought the sheet up over the man and nodded her head at the tech, who opened the door. A red-haired woman walked slowly into the morgue, clutching a watch that matched the man on her table.

"I-I'm here to confirm his identity." The woman muttered, looking sorrowfully down at the white face. Maura nodded and lifted the sheet back, her heart breaking to hear the sobs of the woman. A glance at the watch showed Maura that this woman's had also stopped at 00:00.

"I've loved him for years, you know. We've had our ups and downs, but I just knew. I knew that even though our watches never matched and always said something new, that were were soulmates. Why, why would you do this Patrick?" the woman burst into tears, grabbing onto Maura to keep her steady.

Maura patted the woman's back affectionately, letting her cry out all of her pain. Once the woman's sobs had subsided, and her breathing returned to normal she spoke to Maura:

"I'm sorry, my name is Hope Martin, and that man there- that's Patrick Doyle Jr. I've loved him for years, but he loved his life of crime more. We even had a child together, but- well… she died too. Why does everyone have to die before I get to love them?" The woman started to cry again, this time Maura joined her. Why did everyone have to leave her, before anyone could love her?


	64. The Civil Wars - The One That Got Away

**People literally begged me to continue the last chapter, even though it was supposed to be sad. So, here's part two of..three *sigh* I just can't say no to you guys. .**

Hey, Frost- did we get an I.D. on the shooter in the park?" Jane asked from her perch on the corner of her desk. She rubbed her scars nervously, making the tops of her hands turn a furious red. She was quickly becoming impatient at the lack of knowledge in addition to the work that was piling up while she looked into this case, off the books of course. Normally, she didn't pry too deep into self-inflicted wounds, but she'd been a witness this man's demise. So, naturally as a Detective, she felt guilty for not preventing it or at least intervening.

"Maybe, the M.E. hasn't sent anyone up yet with any results. Why don't you go ask her? She's only been here like three years. I still don't know how you managed to avoid her this long, she's not as bad as Crowe makes her out to be. It'll be good for you to have a girlfriend… well I mean" Frost grimaced at his unfortunate choice of words. Jane was still touchy about the whole "Your job trumped your love life again" situation that had happened last month, and BPD had just learned to avoid Jane when she was in one of her "moods"

"Yeah, we all know that won't be a problem." Jane spat. Her grimace faltered- Barry wasn't being rude, she was just being too sensitive. "I'm sorry, you didn't deserve that, I'm just finding it weird that I didn't care about finding someone who loved me, until my time had passed. It's relieving, but it's also quickly becoming one of my biggest regrets." Jane sighed and grabbed the folder out of Frosts hand. She tapped his wedding band and winked at her partner, letting him know that it was okay for him to talk about Netta, and their developing family.

"You're a fucking asshole and you're the best partner ever" Frost muttered, making an over-exaggerated feminine wink back at the retreating form of his partner. Jane just held up her hand in agreement and pushed open the door leading to the elevator. Front spun his chair over to Korsak asked:

"Hey, you think Jane's gonna be okay? She's been through a lot, but I don't know if she's gonna bounce back from this one."

The older gentleman just shrugged sadly and went back to his paperwork. He'd never admit it, but Jane's conundrum had left him emotionally vacant- he thought of Jane as a daughter and wished that he would have been there to help. But, he also knew that Rizzoli was the type of person to put everyone and everything in front of her. So, if people had died because she was on a date, she'd eventually resent that relationship for getting in the way of her job.

Frost just looked down at his wedding band, and thanked God that he'd found Netta. She was the best thing that had ever happened to him, and she was also the brightest beam of light in his life. It was nice to love, and be loved in return.

Jane fiddled with the watch on her arm, still stuck on 00:00. The black digital countdown to a life she could have had, if she had just not been so...her. Maybe she was destined to be alone and the fates just entertained the thought of her having a soulmate for fun. The elevator beeped, letting her know that someone else had stopped them on the way down. She didn't notice when a blonde entered the elevator and pushed the button for the morgue. Jane, lost in her thoughts, continued to stare at her watch as if the pulsating numbers on the screen were going to change.

"Mine does that too" a small voice brought Jane crashing back to reality. She looked at the woman, who seemed surprised at the sound of her own voice. She smiled sadly at Jane and motioned to the piece on her wrist that still announced to whole world that her time was past.

"Mine does that too" Maura repeated, with a bit more confidence. "I missed mine too."

Jane felt her throat tighten and her eyes squint at the verbalization of her predicament. The blonde must have picked up on Jane's self-shame because she then took a step back and stared at her heels that were the same shade of red as her face. _Why do you continue to speak to a general public that does not like you? Just go back to your office and leave these people in peace. _

"Do-did, er, have you gotten over it?" Jane whispered hoarsely. Why was this elevator ride taking so long?

"No" Maura peeked up at the brunette beside her and saw nothing but sadness and torment in her beautiful brown eyes. "I don't think that I ever will; it's sad really."

The elevator doors opened, and both women moved forward to leave. Jane, ever the gentleman, stepped back and motioned for the blonde to exit out into the morgue. She soon followed suit and stopped in confusion when they'd reached the door that read: "CHIEF MEDICAL EXAMINER: DR. MAURA ISLES."

"Are- you're the M.E.?!" Jane asked with an unbelieving eyebrow cocked. _How the hell have you managed to overlook her? Serves you right for being so self-centered._

"Yes, and you are….?" Maura looked down and saw a gold shield, _aha, this is the other detective.  
><em>  
>"I'm Detective Jane Rizzoli, I'm sorry we've never met Dr. Isles. The last medical examiner we had was not exactly friendly, so I learned how to avoid the morgue at all costs." She stuck out her hand and shook the warm, soft skin of the blonde in front of her.<p>

"Call me Maura, please Detective. I hope that I didn't seem intrusive or nosy in the elevator- I'm not very good with people" Maura admitted, her gaze once again meeting the floor. Jane picked up on her body language, realizing that maybe this woman did understand.

"Only if you call me Jane or Rizzoli" Jane offered a small smile in replace of a handshake, her raw red hands still too sore for any foreign contact. Maura seemed to understand as she unlocked the door to her office.

"Come in! I haven't met any females on the force yet- I was beginning to think that Boston simply did not have any here." Maura motioned for the tall brunette to sit down on the couch in her office. It was refreshing to find another woman in the building, especially one who seemed to share her troubles.

"Oh, we're here, we just avoid the morgue. You replaced a handsy fellow, let's just say that." Jane watched as realization followed by disdain for the former examiner became evident. Maura nodded in understanding and pointed to a machine on the shelf next to her.

"Coffee or tea? I have to admit, I haven't been getting the recommended amount of sleep these past few weeks and I am in dire need of a cup of tea." Maura flipped the switch at watched as the tea started to pour into a mug.

"I'd say coffee, but I've had nearly a pot of the shit that Korsak claims is coffee." Maura sat down a held a petite hand over her mouth to stifle giggle at the woman's crass language.

"Well, not that I mind the company, but what brings you down here, Jane?" her name felt foreign to Maura.

"Oh yeah! Sorry, I needed to know if you'd been able to identify the suicide from the park?"

"Yes, actually. His...partner came in to identify him. Patrick Doyle. Aren't you homicide?" Maura asked suspiciously, why did this woman care about a suicide?

"I am, but this one means a lot to me- I was there. I tried to stop him. But-"

"You!" Maura cried angrily, standing up to her full height- glaring down at Jane. "It was you who ran into me. You knocked me down and made me miss my soulmate!" Maura was in tears now, pointing angrily at the bewildered detective. After a moment, Maura's firm stare softened and her arm fell back to her side. Quietly, she whispered :

"You're the reason that I'm forever doomed to be alone!"

"I said I was sorry." Jane muttered, her voice breaking. Was she really guilty of ruining two lives with her incompetence?

"Sorry doesn't fix my life, Jane. Sorry doesn't take back all of those years I stared up at the ceiling, thinking of how much different my life would be when someone finally loved me. All I've wanted since I was 13 was to be loved by someone, and now I'm guaranteed to die alone."

"Hey! I missed my soulmate too, okay?! I missed the one chance I had at happiness. I didn't even realize that my time was so close until I had 20 fucking minutes to go. Twenty fucking minutes to try and erase everything about myself that I hated, twenty minutes to prepare myself to be happy with a man. That's not nearly enough time to fix me." Jane yelled back, her hands once again balling into fists.

"You aren't broken, Jane." Maura sighed, feeling slightly embarrassed for her outburst. There was no way that Jane was 100% at fault for her future. She pulled her watch out from a drawer in her desk and showed it to the detective, who had silent tears trailing down her face.

"I still keep it too, and I'm scared to put it on. Maybe I will someday, when I'm stronger. But right now, I just can't" Maura threw the silver band back into her drawer and slammed it shut with disgust. "I'm sorry for over-reacting and most likely making a terrible impression.

Jane just laughed, not the kind of laugh that she would normally let loose. No, it was one of those laughs where your cheeks are cold from old tears and your sinuses clear and you take inhale fresh air with a fresh mind.

"I'm sorry" Jane said after she'd calmed down a bit. "I really am sorry for knocking you down Maura. I was rushing to Mr. Doyle, and I had just rolled my ankle after stepping on someone's garbage. If it helps, I failed at saving his life, and I failed at trying to live mine too."

"I'm sorry too, I know that you're not the reason that I missed them. The fact that yours was also there is quite the coincidence. Does your watch just show zeroes all the time?" Maura was truly curious.

"Yeah, if I take it off and put it back on it sometimes lags a bit, but it eventually makes its way back down to zero. I'd feel weird takin' it off though; I've worn it since I was what? 18? Yeah." Jane held out a hand as a symbol of forgiveness, smiling softly. Maura countered her smile and took the warm palm of the detective.

"Hey, thanks for the name. I know that you probably aren't supposed to tell me, but I just needed to know. When's your lunch, wanna go up to the cafe? I'm sure that my Ma would love you." Jane asked, checking her other wrist for the time.

"Sure, let me just gather my things and put a lid on this tea. I'll meet you up there." Maura insisted, motioning for Jane to go ahead without her. Jane just nodded and walked out of the door, throwing one last meaningful glance towards the blonde, who was smiling at the floor again. _She is so odd, but...I think that I like it, how refreshing. _Jane smiled the entire ride up to the ground floor and all the way into the cafe.

She waved at her Ma, who was currently in the middle of the lunch rush, and picked a table in the corner. She set her things down and grabbed her phone. Frost had messaged her asking if she was okay. She tapped out a reply that she was fine and getting along with Maura. Barry just responded with a smiley face- Jane's biggest pet peeve.

"Sorry that took so long, I had Susie er- Senior Criminalist Chang, run you a copy of Doyle's records. Consider this a thank you for not judging me by my outburst. I'm just still sad about it." Maura rubbed her thumb over the tab of the manila folder that she slowly pushed across the table towards Jane.

"Hey, it's okay Maura. We all have our moments. Remember I yelled too? Yeah, I guess you do understand how vulnerable and... I don't know... empty it makes you feel to know that you've also ruined someone else's life by not being in the right place at the right time. It's... depressing." Jane looked to the side to avoid looking at Maura's hazel eyes, which would surely be full of pain. The sullen detective felt a warm hand on hers, a silent thumb rubbing over her knuckles.

"Hey, how about we go to dinner tonight? I guess since we're destined to be lonely forever, we might as well have a friend, right?" Jane reasoned out loud, hoping that she wasn't coming off too strong to the blonde. They really had just met, but something about the Doctor made Jane feel like it was okay to feel how she was feeling- someone to talk to without worrying about bringing them down.

"I would like that! We could make it a weekly thing, you and I. I didn't realize how little I've gone out since the park, and it can't be healthy to be keeping all these emotions bottled up. My only friend is Susie, er- Senior Criminalist Chang to you, and she's scared to even talk about her boyfriend with me." Maura admitted sadly- she and Susie had drifted some since the park incident.

"My partner, Frost- you probably know him, him and his wife are really happy together, and I know that he wants to tell me but he doesn't. I feel like a shitty friend along with a shitty soulmate. Man, we're a pair." Jane chuckled.

"Let's be shitty soulmates together then!" Maura insisted, laughing at the foreign swear on her tongue. "Are you one of the ones who go to The Dirty Robber after a case?" Maura asked, having declined many an invitation to there.

"Yes! Wanna meet at like, 8?" Jane threw out a random time. Honestly, if she didn't have plans, she'd probably stay at BPD until the wee hours of the morning to distract her.

"Sure, fellow shitty soulmate, it's a date" Maura winked.


	65. Avicii - Addicted To You

**So, this whole story arc was supposed to just be a sad one-shot. But everyone convinced me that they needed more. So, here it is. hahaha. Feedback is appreciated and I love every single one of you who review :)**

Hey,_ wanna go to the Robber tonight? Frost has a surprise for us_.

_Sure! I should be finished here by 7, is that going to be alright?_

_Of course Maur, I don't even think I'll have my paperwork done by 7. Wanna meet me there or carpool?_

_I'll take you. We haven't gone out in quite some time, and I would enjoy your company tonight. Stay over? We're both off tomorrow, and I wanted to see if you would go shopping with me?_

_...the things I do for you. I'll go. But, only if you don't make me try on anything. I'll text you when I'm finishing up here. _

_Thank you, Jane. We'll discuss this further face-to-face. Have a pleasant day :)_

_You too Maur. :D_

Jane set her phone down on her cluttered desk and thought for a moment about what Frost was going to tell them tonight. She assumed that the next big milestone in their marriage was children, and the thought of little Barrys running around make Jane smile brightly; her friend was happy, she couldn't ask for anything more. The fact that he'd automatically assumed that Maura was going also made Jane happy. It had taken a long time, and a lot of trips to the Robber, but Maura had finally been integrated into the homicide team.

They hadn't been friends for long, about a year at most. Life was easy with Maura- honestly it was easier than when Jane was hell bent on a soulmate. Maura was the whole package really, minus the actual relationship. Ever since their initial interaction in her office, Maura had really blossomed from the nervous society-forced introvert she'd been into an outgoing and humorous being. Even her office reflected the changes in her life. The drab art and meaningless knick knacks that had been scattered about had been replaced with photos of the Rizzoli clan plus the blonde. The drab books had been rearranged to fit a softball glove, a birthday present from Jane's brother Tommy last spring.

The sound of cats meowing on Korsak's computer made Jane startle out of her reverie. She shook her head to clear her mind and set back to finishing the huge stack of paperwork that had littered her desk. After what seemed like 500 years, Jane looked at her watch and realized that it was about 6:45, and she really needed to wrap up what she was doing. She folded down the edge of the page she was on, and placed the paperwork into her file cabinet. She locked it and threw the keys into her desk- a habit that Maura just hated. She never failed to point out the many ways that someone could break into her stuff. Jane, in tandem, never failed to point out that no one except Frost or Korsak would even understand what any of her notes meant.

Jane stood up and grimaced at how badly her feet hurt; she'd been on them for almost 12 hours straight this morning, and sitting down was not at option. Now that she'd been sedentary while doing her forms, standing up was the worst pain ever. She sat on her desk to give her feet time to recover from their initial trauma and pulled out her phone.

_Hey, I'm done but my feet are sore as hell. Can we not stay long? I have clothes at your house, I'll just use those. _

_Of course, I'll be up in a moment._

Mkay.

Five minutes later, Maura appeared as the elevator opened with a "ping". She nodded at Jane, who just joined in her in the lift. They smiled at each other politely as Jane hit the button that would take them to the parking garage. Jane turned to Maura and blurted out the first thought she had.

"I think he's gonna say that Netta's pregnant, Maura." Jane looked wide-eyed at the blonde, who opted to giggle instead of responding. After a few incredulous looks, Maura humored Jane with her honest opinion.

"I'm happy for them Jane! They're going to make fabulous parents. I'm also very proud of Barold for telling us, if that's the case. You know he hates to talk about his personal life at work, he still thinks that you're going to beat him up." Maura emphasized this statement with a fake and off-center imitation of a left hook. Jane smiled at the adorable blonde and realized that she was jumping the gun a bit. He hadn't even told them yet, and she was already freaking out.

"I guess you're right- no surprise there. I never realized how hard it must be for him to keep all of those things to himself. I should be happy for him anyway, this is all he's ever really wanted. Now he has a chance to be a better father than his was.

Maura nodded in agreement as the car stopped. The doors opened and the blonde shivered a bit, it was unusually cold in Boston and Maura hadn't quite planned her wardrobe accordingly. Jane offered her blazer to Maura, who took it with a coy smile. She wrapped it around her shoulders and her body warmed the musky scent of the detective. Maura unlocked her car door and watched as Jane willingly got into the passenger seat. That action in itself made Maura wonder what was going on in Jane's mind. She would ask her later, when they were alone.

The quick drive to the robber was quiet, both women lost in their separate thoughts. Jane was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't even realize that they'd been parked.

"Jane." Maura got her attention and continued,"When we get home, you're going to explain what's got you so lost tonight, okay? " Maura cupped Jane's cheeks and kissed her lightly on the nose. Jane blushed and smiled, even if she was going to have to talk to Maura later. She pulled away and nodded, her eyes still focused on the ground. Maura turned to exit the car and noticed that Jane shivered slightly. Maura took the blazer off of her shoulders and snuck up behind Jane, placing the warm garment over her broad shoulders. Jane touched a hand to hers affectionately as they walked into the double doors.

They spotted Frost, Korsak and Frankie in the corner table with a round of beers already gone. Jane moved forwards towards the group as Maura gave a small wave. The men just nodded to the empty chair across from the table, which Jane promptly sat on. Feeling oddly clingy, she grabbed Maura's hips and pulled the blonde into her lap. Maura tensed at first, but she eventually relaxed into Jane's body. She liked to feel safe curled up with Jane. It made the pain of the past year dull a bit.

"SO! What's the big news Frost? You finally get caught by the feds for seeding the Frozen soundtrack?" Jane smiled with a twinkle in her eye. Frost just laughed and added an "Oh, of course." to the banter, making the table chuckle. He stood up and raised his arms high, calling attention to their whole table .Maura flushed under the scrutiny of the whole bar and buried her face into Jane's shoulder. Barry looked to the sky and when he looked back down at the bar, there were tears in his eyes.

"I-I'm gonna be a dad guys." Frost said. As soon as he moved to sit down, the whole bar erupted into a chorus of "congratulations!" and "Shots for the dad!" . A plethora of alcohol slowly made it to the table, and unable to drink it all, Barry decided to be a good guy and share. Maura politely declined the offer, continuing to sip her water. Jane threw a few shots back and started to loosen up. After half an hour, and forty-five shots later, the four drinkers were well on their way to inebriation. Jane tugged at her dress and Maura stood up, adjust her clothing in the process. Jane stood and smoothed out the wrinkles in her pants. She took a few tentative steps towards her partner and sat delicately into his lap.

"Frost, we've been friends for years and I fucking love you to death. I am so happy for you man, and never hold back your happiness for me, okay? Jane poked him in the chest, smiling like a giddy child. He smiled back and nodded, a little too drunk and emotional to reply just yet. Jane stood back up and smiled brightly at Maura. She walked around the table and ruffled her brother's hair without looking and punched Korsak lightly on the arm.

"Wanna head out Maur- it's late and we can't be very good sober entertainment" Jane chucked at Maura's exaggerated eye roll for her answer. She gathered her keys and motioned towards the door. Jane followed her outside and once again sat quietly in the passenger seat. Once Maura had entered the car and started the engine, Jane felt it was safe to talk.

"I-I it's all so different once you're back in the car. The atmosphere changes everything, like you've just walked back into a mindset that you paused."

"I think I understand, we'll talk more at home Jane, don't worry. No judgement here" Maura smiled and flicked the radio onto Jane's programmed station. They drove again in silence until they reached Maura's house. They made their way up to the door, Maura a little faster than the intoxicated detective.

Once inside, Maura immediately set her things down and walked upstairs to change. She felt that this talk was going to be a big one and could result in some tears. In the entire year that Maura had known Jane, she'd only seen the hard-assed Boston Detective cry twice. Once on their first meeting, and once when they'd visited the park for the first time since the shooting.

She slipped into a tiny pair of sleep boxers and a simple BPD tank top that was probably (most definitely) Jane's. She walked into her slippers and padded back downstairs to the living room. From the looks of it, Jane had just grabbed her clothes from the guest bedroom and changed in the living room. She had started a pot of coffee which made Maura smile.

"I see you've learned how to use my coffee machine, finally. Miracles do exist." Maura winked and sat next to Jane at the island in her kitchen. She nudged her friend softly to remind the sullen brunette that she hadn't forgotten about their earlier promise.

"I know Maura I just...I -ugh this is gonna sound stupid. Do you remember how I took my watch off like, months ago?" Jane fingered a stray thread on a towel next to her.

"Yes, I remember because I also put mine in the drawer here." She motioned to the random drawer next to them. It had been empty until Jane had come along and coined it the "Junk Drawer" filling it with everything from pencils to old photos of them. If Jane wanted to save something, she threw it in that drawer. It was also the first spot to check if you needed to find something.

"Well, I kinda feel like I wanna put it on again. I mean, I'm not so lonely anymore now that I got you and all. Plus, I wore it for so long, that it kinda feels like a wedding ring." she explained, reaching into the drawer and pulling out their watches, along with a rubber band and a battery.

"Well, I don't see what's wrong with that. But, I don't understand your reasons."Maura smiled as Jane fastened the familiar watch to her wrist and waiting for it to boot up. She stared in confusion and started to bang the device on the table. Maura was startled the action and scooted back.

"What happened Jane, are you okay?" Maura grabbed her wrist and gasped. The watch that had said 00:00 for so long, now read 00:01. It was a miniscule difference, but it made a lifetime of differences to Jane. She stared at Maura, her mouth forming silent words of confusion. Maura reached around the counter, curious about her own, and slipped the small band over her wrist as well. She waited with baited breath as the digital screen came to life. The inevitable rush of numbers came and eventually her watch read the same as Jane's.

They both looked up in wonder as their watched blinked back to zeroes. The little heart icon in the corner started to pulsate and then her watch just settled back on 00:00 with the little heart beaming for all to see.

Tears fell from Maura's eyes as she realized just what this meant. Looking back, it all made sense. The shooting, the falling, how her watch read zero when Jane had passed right by her. She'd never looked at Jane in that sense, because she'd never ever thought that this could happen to her, ever.

Jane still looked confused at the blonde's reaction. Why was she getting so worked up over their watches glitching? Maura put a hand on her arm and tried her best to speak..

"Go outside, go outside Jane." she pleaded, nearly dragging her body off of the chair.

Jane, still bewildered, just walked back outside and stared at the wood of Maura's door.

"Okay, knock" Maura's muffled voice rang out from behind the door. Jane complied and Maura, with the biggest smile she'd ever seen, answered the door and grabbed Jane's hands in her own.

"Hi, my name is Dr. Maura Isles, and I think that I'm your soulmate" the blonde's teary voice wavered with emotion.

Jane's jaw dropped as she realized that everything she'd ever wanted, everything that she'd yearned for, had been right in front of her the whole time- in the form of her best friend.

"Hello, Doctor." Jane started, rubbing her thumb over satin knuckles. She kicked the door shut behind her and brought their bodies close together. "My name is Detective Jane Rizzoli, and I know that I'm your soulmate."


	66. Hunter Hayes - Wanted

**Okay this is super short but it's an quick little epilogue to the previous three chapters. I needed some fluff in my life, so you guys get this :) **

"Hey,_ Susie? It's me. I won't take too long, I know how you hate checking voicemails. So, this is a bad time to tell you, but I know that you keep saying no to poor Scott when he proposes and I know your reasons why. So, just know that you can say yes next time, okay? I-I-I found her Susie. She was here all along, she was...Jane. She was Jane. Susie. I could be a Rizzoli, officially. Okay, I'll cut this short. But, just know that I refuse to wear anything lighter than pearl at your wedding, okay? Bye Susie, eeeeeeeeek. I'm just so-BEEP"_

Maura smiled as the machine cut her off. She was going to be okay, _they_ were going to be okay. She turned to see Jane smiling at her phone, probably talking to frost. She bit her lip and smiled, making Maura's heart flutter in happiness.

_"Hey Frost, guess what? Remember how Ma always hoped that I'd land a Doctor? Well, her wish came true buddy. When you get this, call me back dude. Tell Netta that she can finally do my hair...at my wedding. When I marry Maura Isles. Hear that dude, Maura is mine. I'll tell you the story tomorrow at work. But, seriously, have you seen her boobs? They have to be heaven. Bye_" Jane pulled the phone away from her ear and grinned as wide as a cheshire cat. She turned around and caught a glance of Maura hanging up her phone as well.

When the blonde turned around and saw Jane's smiling form, she held out her arms and the two embraced, happy to love and be loved in return.


	67. Florence The Machine - Bedroom Hymns

Oh man, guys. This one is a wild ride. Stick with it, because it's deceiving at first. This one is very NSFW, and was a challenge to write. I don't plan on writing this way again, but I told myself when I started this that I should write as many different scenarios and ways that I could. So, consider this my practice I suppose. Don't hate meeeeeee because Casey is in this one...but he's less terrible than on the show.

* * *

><p><em>"Dominique, nique, nique s'en allait tout simplement…" <em>Jane's phone lit up with a picture of Maura's face. A wandering hand found the vibrating device and brought it up to an ear, which was still stuck underneath the pillow.

"Rizzoli", a low voice whispered roughly, fighting hard to speak at all.

_"Hey Jane, you told me to call you at 6:00 so you could be ready for our run at 8. Bye!" Maura's happy voice was harsh on Jane's sleepy ears._

"Okay, bye Maura" Jane groaned and swiped the snooze button for another half hour of desperately needed sleep. The fleece blanket was tugged over her head, shutting the world out for 30 more minutes.

_Warm lips teased Jane's mouth, coaxing her lips apart in a sultry smile. Her eyes remained closed as a tentative tongue traced her grin, coupled with the feeling of two hands tangled into her hair. The person above her sighed in delight as Jane brought a trembling thigh between two warm legs. A slight tug on her scalp made her raise her head and open her eyes She gasped as she saw Maura, dressed only in her sports bra and yoga capris, staring at her with a feeling exponentially greater than lust. The sports bra had created quite a distraction for Jane, making Maura's cleavage just beg for attention. Just as Maura's hand began to make its steady descent, Jane heard her phone go off. She threw her head to the side to look for it, and shrieked when she felt teeth trail down her neck._

Jane woke up with the sound of her own moan, resonating off the walls of her small apartment. With a blind hand, the aroused brunette waved a hand over the sheets to try and locate her phone to see the time. She grabbed the cold plastic, and barely lifted one lid to check.

It was only 6:23a.m., she still had an hour and a half until Maura came over. Sighing, Jane rolled onto her elbows and opened her texts. She scrolled down the C's and clicked on Casey Jones. She quick typed out their usual blunt message and send it, hoping that the soldier, who was on leave right now, would keep his military sleep schedule.

_You busy?_

Jane smiled at a text popped up with a continuation of their routine. Even if she didn't love Casey, she was still using him, and she appreciated his dedication.

_not for you, babe. when?_

_asap. Maura's eta is in an hour. _

_okay, im running round the bridge, I'll be like 10 minutes_

_thanks, casey. _

_You're welcome Jane. _

Jane got up and stripped down, throwing her pajamas into the bin by the door. She ran bare-assed into the living room and unlocked the door so Casey wouldn't have to knock. It was a chilly morning, so the tall brunette turned around and bolted back to her bed, diving under the covers like she was trying to catch a fly in right field. She snuggled under the duvet and brought the blanket up to her nose, trying to warm her cold body. She let her right hand travel over her body, lightly visiting all of her most sensitive spots. After a few minutes of self-admiration, Jane heard her front door open and Jo start to bark. She rolled her eyes as she heard Casey rip open the bag of treats and feed one to Jo to calm her down. Once the pup quieted down, Jane saw Casey enter her room and set his backpack on the ground. He looked at her amused, she never woke before 7 unless Maura asked her to. Even when they'd briefly dated last year, Jane flat-out refused to be woken before 8, unless there was a murder.

"Dreamt about Maura again, eh?" Casey laughed as he took off his sweatshirt and sweatpants, dropping a gym towel down at the foot of her bed. He looked at Jane, who just blushed and hid her head under her pillow, embarrassed at how transparent she'd become.

"Aughhhhh, Casey! Why does she have to be so...fucking..hot?" Jane pouted at the man, who was slowly removing his shirt. Finally he stood in just his boxers and shot Jane a playful grin. He loved to see her like this- vulnerable and free. But, he knew that it meant nothing to her in the way of a relationship, he was just a path she ran down when she needed to escape.

"You ready Jane?" he asked softly, knowing that she was already frustrated and didn't need anything else to upset her, especially this early in the morning. Jane nodded and lifted up the blankets for him to join. Casey climbed onto the bed and removed the watch off his right arm, laughing at the ridiculous tan line where it should be.

"I missed you, ya know?" Jane whispered, running a hand over his hardened abs. Casey smiled and Jane remembered why she'd fallen for him in high school- he was quite the charmer.

"You miss the idea of me, Jane." he countered, knowing that she would understand the joke. She giggled softly and nodded in agreement. It wasn't that she missed Casey per se, it was more missing that type of connection with someone familiar, since the one she wanted to share herself with was unobtainable. Deciding to speed things up a bit, Jane let her hand wander down to the elastic of Casey's boxers. He laid his head back on the pillow and closed his eyes, letting an arm wrap around the thin waist of his bedmate. Jane ran her fingers over the ribbed edge of the fabric and smiled when she felt the slack tighten in response.

She slipped her hand further down and wrapped her hands around Casey's hardening member. She stayed that way for a moment, cherishing those first few moments when you first touch someone intimately. Slowly she ran her hand up and back down his shaft, making to circle the tip each go around. A satisfied groan resonated through the room, as Casey tugged her closer to his body. His other hand came up to caress her breast, softly kneading her warm skin in the same pattern as her ministrations upon him. They kept in their rhythm for a bit, relishing in the familiarity of it all. They'd been doing this for years, but it was different every single time.

Jane stopped her movement and threw one leg over Casey, straddling him on the bed. She shimmied down- taking his boxers with her- and looked up at him mischievously. Still maintaining eye contact, Jane licked the top of Casey's head and trailed her tongue down his entire shaft, giggling when his eyebrows shot up in surprise. She'd never do this, no matter how much he'd begged. But, after experiencing a dream so real yet out of her control, Jane needed to call the shots, and Casey was definitely not complaining.

Both of her hands pushed against his thighs and she bobbed up and down, careful to go excruciatingly slow to prolong this experience. His hands bunched the sheets as he felt himself start to build. He began to thrust into her mouth, but tried his best to stay gentle. This wasn't just rough sex, it was more an emotional release for Jane, and Casey didn't want to hurt the detective in her fragile state.

After a few minutes of that Jane felt Casey quiver and knew he was close. She moved off of him and laid back down beside him, resuming the pumping with her left hand. After a few four letter words of choice, Jane felt his muscles contract and prepared for what was about to happen. She looked at Casey for a solution and he just brushed her hands away and took over her actions. He turned to the side and finished the job, cleaning himself off with the towel he'd brought. He dropped it into his book bag and rolled back around, grabbing Jane and throwing her softly onto the bed next to him.

"I thought I came here so you could get off" Casey laughed at his own pun, to which Jane just groaned and rolled over. He played with her hair for a bit, missing how it used to tickle his chest when she was on top of him years ago, back when they were in love. They stayed like that for so long that Casey actually thought that she'd fallen asleep. A shuffle and a quick bark from Jo startled the pair.

"Knock Knock! Everybody decent?" Maura's voice rang out, making Casey and Jane both scramble for the blankets to mask a bit of their dignity. Her cheerful face turned the corner with a bag from Panera and two coffees, probably breakfast for the two of them. That's probably why she was so early.

"Actually Maura" Jane started, using humor to mask her embarrassment even though Maura knew it was her tell, "We were planning on having an orgy but realized that we were one person short" Jane cringed, it had certainly sounded better in her head. But, she'd said it out loud, and what came next, no one was expecting.

"Yeah Maura, why don't you join us- if you don't mind." Casey offered, pinching Jane's side under the blanket, knowing that he had just given her everything she'd ever dreamt of. Maura seemed to mull this over for a bit, and put one finger up signaling that she'd be back in a moment. When she'd left the doorway Jane rolled over to Casey and pinned him down like they'd taught her in the academy.

"What the hell Jones!" Jane snarled into his ear, her eyes wide with fury.

"Oh you know that she'll be a goo-woah" Casey's eyes widened and his jaw hung open, his focus very much behind Jane. "sportaboutit" he muttered, the latter half of his sentence meant nothing now that Maura Isles was standing in the doorway in a sports bra and running leggings. Jane turned around and balked at the sight of Maura, nearly identical to her dream that caused this whole ruckus.

"I-I haven't done this with three people before, but I trust you guys" Maura smiled and bit her lip at the admission. She took Jane and Casey's matching looks of disbelief as an insult and couldn't help the tremble in her lip and the heat that started in her ears. "Or, if you've changed your minds, I can go-"

"No!" Jane yelled louder than she meant to. _Oh god you're so smooth Rizzoli, no wonder the only sex you get in from an ex-boyfriend from years ago. _"Stay, Maura. Come here" Jane sat up in bed and scooted towards the middle, motioning for her to take the spot on the edge. Maura looked up for a final confirmation, and saw only love and happiness in Jane's eyes. So, with the grace of a dancer, Maura floated towards the bed and sat tentatively on the edge. Her back faced Jane and Casey as she kicked off her socks and shoes, arranging them in a nice pile next to the bed. Jane reached an arm out and ran her hand up Maura's arm lovingly in an attempt to calm them both down.

"Ey, Maura, how about we start out by giving Jane a proper show? It was her turn next, and I promise that if you become uncomfortable, we'll stop with no judgment okay?" Casey asked, sitting up onto his knees and smiling at the blonde, who nodded slowly as if playing the scenario out in her head.

"Okay, that sounds fair. Are you sure Jane? I don't want to intrude." Maura asked one last time to eradicate the rest of her fears and doubts. Jane smiled at her friend and sat up on her knees again, letting the blanket fall to reveal her naked form. Maura gasped at the exquisite sight of Jane in the nude. Her long, dark limbs and sculpted yet feminine muscles made a pit of arousal start to burn in Maura's abdomen. She quickly covered back up, even after Maura's disappointed pout.

"You aren't intruding Maura- Casey's right- I would love it." Jane winked and look at Casey who just shrugged. What kind of idiot turns down sex from two wonderful ladies, especially these two ladies? Maura looked to the left as Casey who stepped off the bed and stood at the foot. He motioned for Maura to stand in front of him, which she did slowly. He put his lips on her ear, and felt her shudder when he spoke:

"Don't think too deep Maura, this is about making Jane feel good, alright? I promise that we will all come out of this okay, and if you think you want to stop, just tell me and we will- no judgment." Casey reiterated, knowing that Maura just needed reassurance; she had just come over to Jane to run, not engage in a love triangle. The blonde looked at him and took a deep breathe. When she exhaled she looked at him and stood on her toes to kiss him slowly. The sweet and quick kiss officially started their game, as Casey spun Maura around so they both faced Jane, who was still propped up in her bed.

His hands ran up and down Maura's sides softly, eventually stopping at her curvy hips. He hooked a thumb into her skin-tight leggings and pulled them down, revealing that she was indeed bare underneath. Maura just muttered something about panty lines but quickly changed her words into a low moan when Casey slid his hands forward, coming precariously close to her center.

"See that Jane, see how ready she already is?" Casey said, motioning to the slick surface of Maura's whole abdomen, a physical reaction to their endeavor. Jane's eyes widened as she bit her lip to prevent a moan from escaping. She didn't want Maura to know just how much this was turning her on.

Casey then moved his hands up and over Maura's ample chest, working his way under the compression bra that she wore. He pulled the material up and over over her chest gently, taking care not to pull her hair or make it snap back. Once it was over her head, Maura decided to be frisky and throw it at Jane, who seemed to be zoning in one one thing, Maura's chest. Casey laughed slowly at Jane's reaction, someone like his when he was 14 and had seen his first pair of boobs.

Jane just beckoned them closer, wanting Maura to herself. But Casey wasn't done with his game yet. They moved onto the bed on their knees in front of Jane. Casey was still sandwiched behind Maura, who was starting to feel Casey becoming aroused behind her. She raised her arms and put them behind her back, around Casey's neck, bringing him closer to her. He kissed and sucked on her neck, taking his hands and running them over Maura's breasts, squeezing and kneading the ample flesh. Her nipples protruded between his fingers and he pressed into her back, letting his manhood trail over the curves of her bottom. Maura just moaned at all of the feelings and once and threw her head back onto Casey's shoulder. She lowered her arms from his neck and reached for him behind her. She pulled him closer and rubbed his erection between her legs, thrusting against it slowly. Casey bit down softly on her soft shoulder when he felt just how wet she was just from their foreplay. Jane stared at the two open mouthed, shocked by the sight of Casey's penis appearing from in between Maura's legs, and disappearing as Maura rubbed against it, her abdominal muscles contracting.

Jane couldn't help the urge that overcame her as she raised her hand and started to fondle her own breast, finally letting loose a moan that had been building for far too long. Maura saw just how hot Jane looked playing with herself and fell forward from her kneeling position onto her hands, and crawled right up to Jane, kissing her with hot, slippery lips. She placed one hand on either side of Jane's lap and continued her wet kisses down Jane's neck and shoulders. Eventually, she settled at a dark nipple and nudged Jane's hand away with her face, taking over Jane's own ministrations. Jane just threw her head back in pleasure and tried her best not to trust into Maura, whose ample chest was hanging in front of Jane, taunting her with all the unbridled fantasies she'd had about this situation, err rather situations close to this; she'd never really expected this to happen.

Finally the temptation became too much so Jane used both hands to cup Maura's chest, finally getting her turn to enjoy these splendors. Maura made eye contact with her and smiled, feeling so sexy at that moment. Casey cleared his throat and scooted behind Maura, his hardness in his hand. Maura looked behind her and just nodded enthusiastically at the idea of being taken from behind. It had been years since she'd had a sexual experience this light and enjoyable. Maura her chest further into Jane's grasp and rested her chin on Jane's shoulder. Jane could hear the deep, sultry breaths coming from the blonde. She settled into the rhythm of Maura's breathing. Casey slipped off the bed quickly and reached into his book bag, pulling out a silver wrapper. Jane never asked him to actually penetrate her, but he always kept condoms handy in case she changed her mind. He rolled the latex up and released the band. He gave a few test pumps into his hand, making sure that it wouldn't come loose or anything. He walked back around the bed and got back into the position behind Maura's shapely behind. He placed one hand on the small of her back and one hand on her side to keep her balanced. His gaze flicked up to Jane, who seemed to be enthralled with Maura's boobs.

Casey ran the tip of his penis over Maura's center, letting her get used to the feeling- he didn't know anything about her sexual history, so he didn't want to assume anything and move too quickly. Her back arched, and Casey inserted a few inches of himself into the blonde, hearing her gasp at the feeling of being filled.

That very same little gasp made Jane clench her core and thrust up. The sound of Maura Isles being penetrated in Jane's ear made her nerves go crazy and her body explode with desire. Maura took her hands off of Jane's breasts, and set them on her shoulders, looking her dead in the eye. When Casey slipped all the way in, Maura's eyes darkened and widened at the feeling. Jane, nearly two inches from Maura's face, decided to kiss Maura soundly on the lips, something she'd been meaning to for a long while. She assumed Casey had started a rhythm, because she felt Maura's body start to pitch forward, making her lips press against Jane's hard. Maura opened her mouth as Casey pushed deeper, but still maintained his speed. He wouldn't change unless Maura asked him too, even if it meant staving off his own release. Jane took this moment to place her lips on Maura's open mouth again, running her tongue over the blonde's teeth, feeling her moans of pleasure in her mouth. Maura's cries became ever higher as she started to lose her upper body strength. She fell back onto the bed on her elbows, unable to keep herself up. Jane slid up and out of the blanket, revealing that she had been ready to go nearly 15 minutes ago, but was enjoying the sight presented to her. She lowered her own hand and began to circle her own center, never touching where she needed it most.

Maura held her head in her hands, eyes closed as she felt Jane shift in front of her. She then smelled what she assumed was Jane's arousal and opened her eyes. Jane's hand was running over her wet thighs and swollen center so close to Maura's face, that she could see the goosebumps that Jane's hand was leaving on her own skin.

"Harder, Casey, please?" Maura finally begged, as Casey sped up his pumping. Maura, in a burst of energy mixed with arousal, moved forward a tad and looked up and Jane.

"Your hands are always where I want to be, Jane. You're far too impatient" Maura winked as she licked one long lick from the bottom of Jane's center, all the way to the bundle of nerves at the top. Jane moaned and tangled her hands into Maura's ponytail. She grabbed the band and slowly pulled it down her hair, careful not to pull or tangle Maura's soft blonde hair. Finally the ponytail came free and Maura's waved tumbled across her shoulders, tickling Jane's stomach.

Maura's cries intensified again, raising almost an entire octave as she yelled "Oh, fuck I'm so close!" The fact that Maura swore, and fact that Jane could feel in their current position, made her nearly come undone. She felt a single finger start to play with her folds, making Jane's brain cease all unnecessary function.

Jane wrapped her hands in Maura's hair, pulling her closer to her center and thrusting into Maura's mouth. Eventually, Maura's cries got so high pitched, that Jane wondered if she was going to be able to even talk today at work. Maura wrapped her lips around Jane's clit and sucked as hard as she could when she felt her walls constrict around Casey, pulling Jane's nub completely into her mouth as she came. Jane, on the other hand, was mesmerized at the sight of Maura peaking: her biceps were flexing at the task of holding her middle up, and her stomach was moving as she took Casey the last few times as she rode out her orgasm. Finally her whole body relaxed as she collapsed onto Jane's bed, leaving Casey and his erection covered in Maura's juices, kneeling on her bed. She smiled at him as she slid down a bit further, so Maura could continue her exploration without having to move.

Casey moved off the bed and walked over to Jane, hoping that she would use her mouth to help him come again. When he managed to get close to her, Maura slithered back up and kissed Jane sloppily, her own juices all over Maura's very sated face. Jane bit her lip and decided to be adventurous. She flipped them so they were on the other side of the bed, the cold duvet feeling glorious on their sweaty bodies. Jane dipped down and kissed Maura's neck, whispering "Rest for now, I've got you" into the blonde's ear. Maura nodded and moved her hands up, she may be exhausted, but she still had enough energy to continue her exploration of Jane's chest. Jane moved south, and started to clean up Maura's core with her tongue. She knew that Maura was probably still a little sensitive from just a bit ago, so she stuck to the outside, cleaning inside Maura's muscular thighs and curvy hips.

Casey looked on at them and decided to try and see if Jane was in the mood to be taken like Maura. So, he walked back to the other side of the bed, his erection still at full attention, waiting to be let loose. He looked at Jane who looked down at him and held up a finger, saying she'd help in just a minute. So, he stood there awkwardly stroking himself, hoping that she'd be done soon. He had to be at the recruiter's office in a half hour.

Maura decided she wanted to be in control again, so she slid out from under Jane and scooted back to the side of the bed they'd started at. She motioned for Jane to sit back up against her pillows, which she did quickly. Maura began trailing her fingertips over Jane's hips and torso, dipping in to kiss the brunette lovingly again. She cupped Jane's center, which made Jane moan and thrust off the bed again- her back arching and muscles clenching for what seemed like minutes.

"Please Maura, please" Jane begged to be attended to again, she was about to burst from the buildup that had occurred. Maura smiled and covered Jane's mouth with her own as she slipped two fingers inside Jane, who moaned so loud in Maura's mouth, that Casey could hear it from the other side of the bed, where his erection was...softening. He rolled his eyes and tried his best to revive it with his hands.

Jane gasped as a third finger entered her, a tight squeeze that normally wouldn't have worked but she'd been left hanging for so long this morning, that she felt like if she didn't come soon, she was gonna burst. Maura placed her pelvis behind her hand and thrusted up into Jane, making Jane's normally gravelly voice, raise louder and higher. Maura's clit was hitting her knuckles at each thrust, bringing her precariously close to the edge again. She felt Jane's fingers start to play with her folds under her hand that was still pumping in and out of Jane. Maura felt herself be entered again as she took a leap of faith and took her left hand that she was using to balance herself up, and played with Jane's bundle of nerves; her years of yoga coming in handy as she balanced herself using only her core muscles and her knees on the bed.

Casey, fed up with the lack of response on his end, unrolled the condom and threw it into the garbage next to the bed. He slipped his boxers back on, along with his sweatpants and undershirt. He grabbed his backpack and hoodie, and glanced back at the two women who were both dancing on the edge. With a sigh he rolled his eyes. _That, right there, is what you get for being a nice guy Casey._ Jo walked up to him and turned away, no longer interested in him when he wasn't feeding her treats. He spotted the bag on the table and peeked inside to see a muffin and a bagel. He grabbed the muffin and a lukewarm coffee and was almost to the door when he realized that there was one more thing he wanted to do. So, he set his bag down and put the muffin in his mouth as he open Jane's cupboard and grabbed the jar of marmite, tossing into the garbage. _Fuck you Maura Isles, you ruined my day. ugh_. Casey bit into the muffin, and walked out Jane's door, shaking his head. How the hell did he come over for a pity fuck and get turned down by the reason for the pity fuck? _Fuck that. _

Jane bit Maura's shoulder hard as she felt the familiar buildup start. Maura was moaning as Jane pumped into her, taking a few swipes her clit when she could. Finally, after a few minutes of those delicious wiles of Maura Isles, Jane felt the wave pout over her. She bucked one last time and sighed, trying her best to keep her rhythm steady inside Maura, who was beautifully close to tumbling over.

"Maura, you're so gorgeous- I never got to tell you that" Jane admitted as Maura gasped, signalling that her climax had approached. Her muscles spasmed and Jane pulled out slowly, only to thrust back in once more, making Maura inhale and thrust hard against Jane's hand. A wave of warm liquid ran down Jane's arm as she removed her hand from Maura finally. She wore a look of pride as the blonde gingerly laid herself against Jane on the bed, her breath still syncopated and erratic. When she looked back up at Jane, she saw only love and tenderness- something she had missed seeing from her detective these past few weeks.

"What time is it?" Maura asked, satisfied that their encounter had burned more calories than running would have. Jane checked her phone and laughed.

"7:15, we still have an hour and half before we need to leave here for the station" Jane said, setting her alarm and setting her phone back down on the nightstand.

Maura snuggled up to Jane's chest and sleepily muttered, "Where's Casey?"

Jane shrugged and looked around, noticing that his stuff was gone. Had he left already?

"I don't know, he probably left." Jane said dozing off underneath the sweaty form of the blonde.

"Hmmkay." Maura mumbled as she fell asleep on Jane, smiling at how this would all look when they woke up.


	68. Kevin Devine - You Are The Daybreak

"Ready?" Frankie tried his best to keep his voice level. He turns from you and stares ahead at the silk-lined walkway leading up to the gazebo. His hands shake- even though it's your wedding, and you rub your hand over his knuckles lovingly. A sniffle and a cough later, he flicks his eyes back to you, waiting for the go-ahead to start your trek.

You smile and nod, not trusting your voice to be strong enough to properly explain just how you are feeling. Your brother, your confident, and your biggest fan who seems to have aged years in the past twenty minutes, squeezes your hand as you walk out of the door. You cling to him tightly- you're so nervous that you're not sure if you're even walking. The tears stay at bay for now thankfully. You have to look to the skies, and think of your Ma waving a mascara wand to keep your eyes clear. The first few steps are eerily silent, no one knows that you've entered the vicinity just yet. The silence is comforting, all you can hear is Korsak playing his own rendition of the Wedding March and the heavy heartbeat in your ears. This is real, this is true, this is your wedding day.

Frankie breathes in deep and you turn the corner too. Your vision is assaulted with the bright sunlight and the sheer amount of people that are gathered here for you. For you, the overzealous, grumpy, asshole detective that's most likely pissed off every single soul in this place. The fact that all of these people have come together in one spot, is amazing. Susie Chang is here, sitting next to your cousin Vinny, who is making eyes with Officer Charlie from across the way. The entire Boston Police force must be here, all in their blues contrasting with the light theme of the decor. They way they are looking at you, makes you feel like you're in trouble for being an ignorant uniform again. Their concerned faces mixed with hidden pride, remind you of your rookie days trying to make detective. Cavanaugh, freshly ordained, is standing at the end of your walkway, smiling at you like the daughter he's always seen you as. Your Ma is beaming, and your Pop...well he's not here and that's okay because Sean is and in the three years he's dated your mother, he's treated you better than Frank Sr. ever had.

Your brain is going a mile a minute, but for some reason all you can focus on is not crying. Jane Rizzoli, especially in her uniform, does not cry. Your vision gets watery as you make it to the front and turn around, facing everyone who had come here today. When Korsak's music stops, you look to the front and you see Tommy walk out and stand to the side, offering an arm out for your bride. The crowd gasps as Maura appears, clad in a simple yet beautiful wedding dress, She's a breath of heaven, a beacon of light on a cloudy day, and she's yours- all yours.

She scans across the crowd and her chin quivers and it's then, in that moment, that you realize that Maura Isles hasn't had this many people gathered in one spot to support her since...ever. She makes eye contact with you and she looks just so..damn happy. She looks so radiant, and it was then that the tears broke free. Maura was so loved than she had ever been, and it made you so happy that you were sure you were going to burst. Tommy, ever the proud brother, handed your soon-to-be wife to you and kissed both your cheeks, his eyes misting just a little bit. You stare into her hazel eyes that red rimmed and kinda look like watermelons. You both smile at each other, and the feelings that course through you could unite countries and stop wards.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we are gathered here today…" Sean starts the speech. No matter what he says, you know deep down that you are not all gathered here to celebrate you, or the gathering of all of these people.

You are here to celebrate you and Maura, the birth of the Rizzoli-Isles family. The birth of a new life full of happiness and love. Your families are now one unit, one family unit.

Her family,

your family.

Family.


	69. John Legend - Tonight

I feel beautiful.

It doesn't matter that my breath is likely foul or my hair seems to be matted on one side. I'm waking up slowly next to the woman I love, and that makes me feel-

beautiful.

I stretch my muscles, still sluggish from my sleep, and I curl my toes into my silky sheets. The woman besides me snorts a bit, and that makes me feel-

beautiful.

I've shed my top shirt sometime in the night, leaving me in just a thin tank top. My sleep shorts- actually Jane's- are precariously low on my hips. That makes me feel-

beautiful.

The sun is blessing my face with its' golden rays, making my heart warm as well. I snuggle into my detective's side. She smiles in her sleep and kisses my head, that makes me feel-

beautiful.

A slow hand rubs my stomach, where my shirt has risen up. A Rizzoli nose bumps my neck and burrows into my hair, not hiding the sigh that escapes there. That sigh makes me feel-

beautiful.


	70. The Pretty Reckless - You

"How am I going to live without my best friend" Maura's jaw quivered and tears threatened to spill out of her hazel eyes.

Jane's jaw dropped. Was she serious? She muttered Maura's name a few times as she stormed out of the office. Jane knew that Maura detested crying in front of people, so she gave her a minute to calm down and then followed the path into the office.

"Live, that's kind of harsh, don't you think Maur-" Jane stopped when she saw Maura's face quietly sobbing into her silk blouse. The blonde was the type of person to avoid getting her clothes wet, so the fact that tears were staining her shirt indicated that something was very wrong.

"Maura, oh my goodness. I'm so sorry! I didn't mean that I was going to leave here. I just was talking about leaving for a bit. Can I-"

"No, you can't" Maura looked up in defiance. Who was this woman to tell her that the only constant she'd had in her life other than her tortoise, was being taken away from her and that was no big deal? Wrong. It was huge, and it broke Maura's heart into tiny shards to think that she would be facing this cruel life alone again. "You don't get to tell me what is harsh Jane Rizzoli. For being a detective you sure are ignorant when it comes to your own life. I am thriving here Jane- this is the most I've lived in years. You don't understand that before I met you, I was put off by people and didn't even go outside unless it was necessary. I was a society-forced introvert that no one even realized was there, Jane. So, you do not have the authority to tell me what is harsh in my own life or not." Maura's eyes burned with fury

"I- I didn't realize, I'm so..I don't know...Maura? I never thought of how I've changed since I've met you. I- I need some time to think. I'm not going to leave you, but I now have a fresh batch of emotions to process. Any input?" Jane asked tearfully. She hadn't realized just how important Maura was to her.

Maura stormed up to Jane and stood ramrod in front of the detective. She put her hands on Jane's shoulders and laid her head against her chest, listening to the rapid heartbeat of the brunette. Jane wrapped her arms around the smaller woman, intent on bringing her into a hug. But, as the last second Maura looked up and moved her hands to Jane's neck. She pushed Jane's neck down and kissed her deeply. Maura felt Jane deepen the kiss and smiled. She pulled away but left their foreheads touching. Jane stared at the blonde wide-eyed and breathing heavily.

"Now I really gotta go, that's a lot to think about Maura. I- I'll call you tonight okay?" Jane tried her best to reassure Maura that she was not running away, she was just taking some time to herself. Maura nodded and smiled again, her tears had finally dried. She played with a ring on her hand, so she didn't end up nervously babbling at one of the worst times. Jane bit her lip and turned around, not hiding the fist pump that happened when she rounded the corner.

She had a lot to think about, but she still knew that Maura was the answer. Maura would always be the answer- she just had to think about how Maura would work into her life. Since, she couldn't imagine a happy life without her.


	71. The Neighbourhood - Sweater Weather

"Ma-ur-ra, come onnn!" Jane drawled, turning her best friends name into a three syllable complaint. She'd been surveying the ground for almost half an hour, testing the earth with her "smart, sensible, and stylish" camping shoes. She'd poked and prodded the tent, "ensuring the strength of the polyester nylon material". Now, Maura was pushing against the spikes to double check the angle of the blade into the earth. For someone who had never been truly camping before, Maura looked and acted like a pro.

Jane watched the petite yet formidable woman pop their tent out and assemble it with a grace unknown to anyone who had ever tried that task. The detective- who seemed pretty keen on sitting on her tree stump for as long as she could- couldn't help but notice just how toned Maura's body was. Very rarely did the Medical Examiner show anything above the knee (probably the years of formal parties and strict social rules), so Jane never really just how strong Maura's legs were. Her calf muscles were generously sculpted from years of Louboutins and even more years of yoga. Her thighs were solid, yet feminine, something Jane appreciated about the female body. The lack of tan line though, left Jane wondering just how she got her summer coloring every year.

Maura stood up and blew towards her sweaty bangs. She looked at Jane with sad, pleading eyes; her mouth ready to ask a question that Jane was sure to love. Her eyes flicked up and down the lanky brunette, who sat cross-legged in her soffe shorts and baseball tee, and stared at her with a look that Jane just could not read. Maura bit her lip and blushing, obviously embarrassed.

"Jane, do you have a hair tie?"

* * *

><p>Setting up the tent was exhausting for the two ladies, they'd put 100% of their effort into it. Well, it was 90% Maura doing the grunt work and 10% Jane holding the bars up because Maura's wasn't quite tall enough. It had been distracting for Maura to have Jane pressed behind her closely. She's missed the stake a few times and nailed herself in the shin with the rubber mallet. Once they'd gotten the tent set up, which was quite the challenge, they'd decided to go for a swim.<p>

Jane had always been a little self-conscious even after she'd grown off her 'baby fat', but standing next to Maura Isles in a turquoise string bikini would make anyone look down at themselves and sigh ( which Jane did more than a few times). Maura's freckles were starting to darken in the direct light overhead, which made Jane start to stare and mentally draw shapes while they were laid out in the sand. She'd just finished making a Desert Eagle and was working towards what could have been a Beretta 92FS, when Maura decided to untie her strings and slip off her top. She was still pressed against her plush beach towel, but the copious amounts of side-boob made Jane's mind wipe like she deleted her C:\ drive.

Maura looked at Jane winked. Maura, after years of locker room at an all-female school, had lost her shame decades ago. The human body was beautiful in every way, and Maura just tended to really like the female anatomy whenever presented to her. Jane learned after years of Catholic guilt and nosy brothers who don't knock before opening the bathroom door, how to perfect the art of changing clothes without actually removing any articles until completed. Maura spent hours and hours trying to get Jane to free herself once in a while, but the brunette seemed to rebuke her every effort.

Maura stretched her arms out over her head and flexed her legs in a feline pose. She rolled over-sans towel-and grabbed a snoozing Jane's bikini string, pulling as she ran into the water. If Jane wasn't going to let herself live a little while she was awake, Maura would make her a rebel while she napped. The blonde, bored out of her mind in the cold water of the lake, decided to make things a bit fun.

"Jane! Jane! Oh my gosh! Janeeee!" Maura yelled, bobbing up and down on her knees. The lake floor was five feet at best, but Maura was trying to create a scene for her sleeping beauty. She saw Jane stir and start to wake up. When she realized that Maura was in the water and yelling for her, Jane jumped up and bolted into the water, diving into the clear blue layer like a pro. She swam with vigor to a "drowning" Maura and wrapped her arms around her. Maura just swung around Jane and hung from her back.

"Thanks Jane, I really wanted a piggy-back ride" Maura giggled. When she saw Jane's brain catch up with the current situation, she laughed even harder, her wet blonde ringlets dancing as she shook happily.

"Really Maura? You're serious? I ran ou-eep!" Jane stood to her full height and realized that she'd come to her best friend's rescue with less coverage than she's anticipated. She tried to throw Maura from her to cover herself (even though there was no one at the beach) but Maura had other plans.

Still laughing at her funny, Maura threw her weight backwards. Jane's body pitched backwards as both women went toppling into the water. The blonde made sure Jane's head stayed above water, but cared less about the too-dry swimsuit she'd coaxed her friend into. Jane sputtered and glared at Maura, who made a guilty face and stood behind her taller companion.

"I'm sorry you ran out here topless, Jane" Maura said with a fake apologetic tone. The previous evil grin came back as she reached around Jane and placed a hand over the source of her embarrassment. Jane flushed red...all over...as Maura pushed them forwards. "See, now no one will see you, Rizzoli" Maura tried her best to speak like one of the men from homicide- with their bravado and testosterone laced condescending voices. Jane mumbled something and trudged forward to their towels. Only once they'd reached their destination did Jane realize that a very naked Maura had just felt her up on the beach.

* * *

><p>After their crazy afternoon of swimming, Maura decided it was time for them to make dinner. Never one to half-ass anything, Maura pulled out a teflon pan and set it in front of Jane, who just raised an eyebrow at her crazy friend. No way in hell was Jane frying up beans in a pan over a fire. This was not the parent trap, and she was not trying to get any sort of romance started.<p>

"I don't know what you plan on doing with that Maur- but I'm gonna go drain the main vein, if you know what I mean" Jane dusted her hands off on white v-neck. Her dirty hands left a brown trail of dirt and grime so Jane just whipped the shirt off and tossed it playfully at Maura. Maura raised an eyebrow as the white cotton fell on to her face. She blew it off her face and let it slide onto the log next to her. Jane shrugged in her now-dry bikini top and sauntered off into the woods to relieve herself. Maura looked at the pan with a can of beans inside and frowned. As much as she wanted her first camping experience to be as authentic as possible, eating beans out of a can would disrupt her digestive system. So, Maura stood up and made her way over to the tent, where she'd stored her bags and various camping equipment. Inside one of her totes were packed lunches that she'd made in case Jane refused to eat out of the can; she never realized that she would be the one declining.

She grabbed both bags and went back outside where the sun was setting over the mountains in the distance. It was getting chilly, so Maura threw another log onto the fire and slung Jane's discarded tee onto her lap. She could hear Jane in the distance grumbling about something. When the dark woman came closer, her complaints could be better heard by Maura.

"My fuckin ass hurts. Ugh, that's the last time that I try to-" Jane looked up and saw Maura's look of confusion. Jane just sighed and rolled her eyes "I fell for an old trick again. Pop used to tell us that if you squat when you pee in the woods, you have better aim. Well, I never realized that there's an anatomical difference between us kids so, every summer I ended up peeing on my shorts and crying." Jane motioned to the shorts crumpled up in her hands. Maura froze for a moment before taking the whole situation in. After a few tense moments, Maura burst out laughing and waved her hand over the log next to her, indicating that she wanted Jane to join her on the log.

Jane sat down and took Maura's jovial face in the shadows of sunset residual flames from their fire. Maura was beautiful, and she knew it. The blonde offered Jane her paper bagged food, which she gratefully took. They munched in silence, casually bumping shoulders and sneaking furtive glances between bites of their peanut butter and fluff sandwiches. Jane made monster noises as she chomped on her grapes. Maura laughed at the sight of the normally morose detective acting like an exuberant child.

After they'd played the game of throw-the-grape-in-your-partner's-mouth for a bit, Jane stood up and threw their trash into the bag they'd grabbed. She walked a little bit into the woods, picked up two sticks, and inspected them thoroughly. Jane turned around and dipped into the tent, leaving a very confused Maura on her log.

When Jane emerged holding a plastic Walmart bag, Maura's curiosity got the best of her:

"What's in there, Jane?"

"Stuff" Jane replied nonchalantly, knowing that her passive response would rile the blonde up. She sat down next to Maura again, if not a little closer this time, and set the bag at their feet. She pulled out a bag of Jet-Puff marshmallows and a huge Hershey bar. Lastly, she removed a box of graham crackers and set it on Maura's lap. The blonde's gaze finally met Jane's and she smiled thoughtfully.

"Is this because I said I'd never had "S'mores" before Jane? You're such a softie" Maura lightly punched Jane and laid her head on her shoulder lovingly. As much as she teased the detective, she really was a great friend and most responsible for bringing Maura out of her little shell.

"nnn...yeah" Jane admitted sheepishly; she hated it when her good deeds were noticed and she was the center of attention. Even if that attention was just her best friend. Jane blushed and started to spear her fluffy target, when Maura grimaced at her means of crisping.

"You just..use..the stick?" Maura eyed the wood wearily. Did Jane not know what kind of bacteria was present on the Earth's surface?

"Maura, you drink Panda Poop tea, you can't even start to complain. C'mon, just once, try something without worrying. You've gotten me topless and felt me up today Maura, you owe me this" Jane whined, handing Maura her stick with the marshmallow already attached. Maura sighed and grabbed the stick with mock enthusiasm. They both held their pokers over the slowly-fading fire, and hissed when they caught aflame. Maura-ever the sensible one- blew hers off and let it solidify for a moment. Jane blew on hers and yelped with the goo burned her fingers. Maura giggled and took Jane's burnt fingers into her mouth and pulled them out with a "pop!". The detective sat there stunned, awkwardly aware of how enticing that act made Maura look.

Giggling, Maura assembled her treat and started to take a bite. Unfortunately, she had read all the articles about how to make the perfect s'more, but failed to research how to actually eat them. Halfway through her first bite, hot marshmallow spilled out onto the blonde's chest, burning her. Jane decided to help out her friend in her obvious time of need. So, she set down her s'more on the bag she'd brought and brought Maura's chest close to her face. She ducked down and licked the warm white goo off Maura's cold skin and smiled when she felt the blonde shiver. Jane pulled back and laughed at Maura's look of pure arousal mixed with adorable confusion.

Maura gasped at the feeling that spread throughout her body. Never one to not reciprocate, Maura leaned her bikini clad body over Jane's lap and grabbed her s'more from the bag.

"Hey, that's m-oh!" Jane shrieked as a trail of hot chocolate was smeared on her neck by Maura's nimble fingers.

"You're a very sweet camper Jane, I remember your stories but-" Maura stopped to lick the trail down Jane's dark neck, relishing at the sugary sweet taste of chocolate mixed with the salty palate of Jane's skin. "-I know that you lied." Maura punctuated her sentence with a second swipe to clear Jane 100% of any residue.

"So, never forget-" Maura threw the half-eaten gooey chunk on the ground and moved to sit on Jane's lap. She let their noses touch, feeling Jane's breathing quicken and her chest start heaving.

"-I'm the sweetest" Maura muttered, kissing Jane with vigor. The chocolate left over from her escapade made their kisses sweet and warm. Jane pulled back and looked up and Maura; she look gorgeous in the moonlight. Their fire had died down long ago and Jane was slowly losing the light she needed. She tipped her head back up towards the woman on her lap and wrapped her hands around Maura's scantily clad body. After their bout of kisses, Jane cleared her throat and stood up- the blonde woman still wrapped around her body.

"Maura, you're cold. Let's get you covered up, okay?" Jane whispered into her ear. Maura just bit her lip and brought her mouth to Jane's ear.

"We can even share a sleeping bag" Maura bit down on Jane's ear and suddenly the antics of the blonde were soon forgotten and forgiven. Jane hissed at the wondrous mix of pain and pleasure and set Maura on her feet so she could unzip their tent. Maura, in a random spontaneous act, flipped her top off and threw it into the tent once Jane got it open. She repeated the action with her bottoms and made a show of cutting in front of Jane and entering the tent first. Maura's nude form bathed in moonlight made Jane's heart stop and her blood pump.

"Let me show you just how much of a sweet camper I can be, alright?" Maura winked and pulled Jane into the tent by her bikini top, which wouldn't be needed much longer. Jane just nodded in the dark night and let herself be seduced by her best friend in a tent in the woods. Goddamn she was glad that Frankie and cancelled last minute, this was turning into the best camping trip ever.


	72. Ed Sheeran - A Team

Jane saw it.

It wasn't easily noticed by anyone who hadn't worked side-by-side with Maura Isles for years. But, Jane Rizzoli was a detective for a reason , and she noticed it.

Maura Isles squatted down next to the victim of their latest case. She faltered for a moment, temporarily losing her balance in her moderate heels. She touched the pavement slightly, righting herself before anyone could notice her error. Maura took a deep breath and tried to clear her head, she needed to focus.

Jane stared down at the blonde below her. The lithe woman crouched next to Maura and leaned in close to inspect the body. She inhaled deeply and the tangy scent radiating off of Maura solidifying her suspicions. Memories of her father stumbling around calling her names and smacking her upside the head whirled around Jane's mind as she lost her abillity to speak.

Time stopped.

The wind stopped blowing

Jane stopped breathing.

The sounds faded to a dull roar.

How did she miss it?

Did she know and avoid?

Why was Maura Isles- the pristine example of class and grace- inebriated at a crime scene? Jane looked towards her friend, who was prattling on about subdural heterochromia or something, and tried her best not to burst into tears. How long had this been going on? It must have been bad if Maura threatened to contaminate her crime scene over it.

"H-Hey Maur, will you walk with me back to the cruiser? I'm hungry and I want coffee." Jane asked the M.E.

"Sure Jane, just let me finis-"

"No Maura. I'm only asking once more. Care to join me?" Jane tried her best to put her interrogation voice, but only could muster a sad morose tone. Maura flicked her blurry eyes up to meet Jane's stone cold glare and she knew.

She'd been caught.

She nodded slowly, feeling the shame of the whole situation cascade over in a cold terror. She rose to her feet and held a hand out to Jane's shoulder when she once again failed to balance correctly. A solitary tear fell down Maura's ashen face as she followed Jane to her cruiser. Maura took notice of Jane's hunched shoulders and heavy steps, indicated that she was under extreme emotional duress.

When the reached the vehicle, Jane opened the passenger door and ushered Maura inside. She shut the door and turned to walk back around the car. She bent down for a moment and let loose the angry sob that needed to escape before she was scattered around. Jane wiped her tears and rose to get into her car. The door to the crown vic clicked shut and Jane flipped the locks to ensure that Maura would stay and listen to her.

"Jane I-I can ex-"

"No. Let me ask this first Maura: What happened?"

"I can't tell you Jane, you won't look at me the same. I can't let you see me like this. This wasn't supposed to get this bad, Jane. I need help but I can't let you help me. I- I just want to forget. I just want to forget" Maura whispered the last bit as her face contorted into a silent sob. She didn't want to tell Jane what had started all of this.

"Maura. Whatever has you so down obviously isn't going to go away. Just tell me, okay? I'm Jane right now, not Rizzoli." Jane pleaded, desperate to find out what was wrong with her best friend.

"He- He kissed me Jane. I'm sorry! I know that you told me to stay away, but he just did it and left! I don't know what to do Jane." Maura cried, wringing her hands nervously.

"Who did Maura?" Jane asked earnestly. She really had no idea what was going on.

"Frankie did. Frankie kissed me weeks ago and now he's mad at me. He won't speak to me, and I was just so scared that you would hate me too. I can't survive without you Jane."

"So, you started drinking? Has this happened often? Did you drive here?" Jane cried, hoping to dear god that she didn't have to arrest her best friend- once was enough.

"I may have overindulged last night, Jane. But, I swear that it was only then. I just had a nightmare that you had iced me out because I just don't feel anything but sibling love for Frankie. I tried to let him down, and I know that he means the world to you. Just please don't hate me, okay?" Maura whispered.

"When did you stop drinking Maur?" Jane asked, knowing that Maura was avoiding the answer.

"Four this morning" the blonde whimpered.

"So...three hours ago. Okay, did you drive here?" Jane sighed.

"No, I called a cab. I'm okay Jane. I swear. I just had a bad night, okay? It won't happen again." Maura assured the detective.

"Okay. I trust you Maura. But, I'm coming over tonight and we are going to seriously talk, okay? I can't let this slide again. I know that you didn't mean it. But, if someone walked away a free man because you ruined evidence...especially under the influence...I don't think I could trust you again." Jane admitted.

Maura understood how much trust meant in the Rizzoli family, and the threat alone made her want to curl up into a ball and cry for weeks. She didn't mean for any of this to happen. She nodded and looked at her friend, whose face had morphed from disappointment to empathy.

"Hey, don't worry about Frankie. He's not the first Rizzoli to fall in love with you, that's for sure. How about I come over tonight and we can just talk and cry, alright? But first, I'm gonna drive you to the station. What would you guess your blood alcohol is right now Maura?" Jane watched her friend's mouth move with numbers that flew over her head.

"I would guess about a .065 right now. I should be fine soon. But, I will blow if you'd like? I mean, my system isn't perfect, but I know my own body." Maura offered.

"No, I think we're okay. You scared me today Maura, please never let that happen again. I'm always here to listen, okay?" Jane tried to make her availability clear to Maura. Even if it was something that she didn't want to hear, she would still listen to her best friend. She would expect the same in return.

"Okay, I'm sorry once more Jane. I really didn't mean to cause a fuss."

"It'll be okay. Let's just get back to work, 'kay?" The awkwardness of the situation finally became clear as both women settled down from their heated discussion.

"Thanks Jane, you really are the best friend I could ask for." Maura admitted with the familiar smile that hadn't appeared all morning.

"You are too Maur, you are too."


	73. Paramore - Monster

**My friend Imtakingoverthisshipjanet said this on Tubmlr: "But sometimes I just wanna see Maura be the hero." So, I gave her this: :D. **

* * *

><p>"Maur..." Jane's voice tapered off as she lost consciousness. The devastating blow to the head from Hoyt's 2x4 had most likely split the Detective's skull, rendering her useless. Maura skidded into the room and gasped at the bloody lump on the floor. Jane's eyes were half-lidded and rolled back- a sure sign of blunt force trauma. Maura had to act quick; she knew that Charles was not a man who was patient- and persistent.<p>

"Charles." She greeted the shadow that was taking solitude in the corner. He tipped was she assumed was his hat. The whites of his eyes shone with delight, sending shivers down the M.E's spine. In her peripheral vision, Maura spotted Jane's service weapon trapped under her broken body, which was angled towards her and opposite Hoyt.

"Oh, Doctor Isles. How nice to see you again. Shall I give you a moment with our detective? She hasn't long before her brain swells, and I want to watch you watch her die." Hoyt giggled similarly to a elated schoolgirl. Maura knelt down towards Jane and whispered her diagnosis just barely audible- to see if Charles would take the bait.

"Vic-victim is a white female, approximately 41 years old. Signs of blunt force trauma to the cranium" _grab the gun Maura. _

_Hold it like this, brace yourself. Keep your shoulders back._ Jane's instructions came to mind as Maura leaned over to place a kiss on Jane's bloody forehead. The cold grip of the gun teased Maura's fingertips. She heard a movement and based upon his shadow Charles was going to try and charge her while she was down.

Maura stood up and aimed the weapon just below Hoyt's ribs.

_Aim low, Maura. I know your brain is telling you to shoot head-on. But you aren't used to the recoil. Just aim low and stand your ground.  
><em>

She pulled the trigger as soon as she could see the pattern of Hoyt's flannel, the recoil of the shot throwing Maura backwards into the stone wall. Charles looked down at the shot, which had likely penetrated his lower left ventricle, and dipped his fingers in the wine colored blood that seeped out of the wound.

"You'll never forget the moment that your love died, Doctor Isles. You chose to kill me instead of tend to her. Hopefully that guilt follows you to hell with me." Hoyt sputtered, blood spewing from his evil mouth. His eyes were finally closing as his legs gave way. He hit the ground, his head making a satisfying hollow grind against the cement of the basement.

Maura finally let loose all of the emotions that were building up as she reached for Jane's radio. With one hand she held the call button and with the other, she placed two fingers on Jane's neck; feeling desperately for a pulse.

"10-14, Officer Down. 10-14 I need a bus!" Maura managed to cry before the panic was too much and her vision started to tunnel. Right before she lost all consciousness, she heard two voices.

"Bullseye"

"I think we found them! Down here!"

Both voices sung Maura to sleep.


	74. John Legend - She Don't Have to Know

Oh my god. What the hell did ff do with my last chapter D:?

* * *

><p><em>What are you going to tell her Maura?<em>

_I'm not going to mention it to her._

_Thank you. I appreciate it. Janie doesn't take news well._

_It's not for your benefit Frankie. I don't wish to speak of it again._

_So, no?_

_Was there a question?_

_We have no chance?_

_We never had a chance, Frankie. I've made it explicitly clear that I am not interested in a romantic relationship with you. We are family, and I feel nothing but sibling love for you._

_What about Jane?_

_What about her? I said I wouldn't mention it to her._

_No, what do you feel for her?_

_I love her; she's my best friend._

_I know that. Do you feel "sibling love" for Jane...my sister?_

_I do love her, yes._

_Maura, don't be like that. I guess I was right, you're into another Rizzoli._

_Please don't text me again Frankie._

_Whatever._

* * *

><p><em>Maura.<em>

_Jane?_

_Why is Frankie pounding on my door, telling me that I stole you?_

_Are you serious?_

_I sent you a video._

_Is he still there?_

_No, he left after I threatened to call Ma. What the hell Maura. I didn't "steal" you- you're not a possession. What did that mean?_

_I don't wish to speak of it._

_Did you have sex with Frankie? I'm seriously freaking out Maura._

_No, I did not._

_Well…?_

_He kissed me Jane. I didn't want to tell you because I don't want to disrupt your family in this trying time for you guys._

_That son of a bitch._

_I already yelled at him. Don't worry. Also, I'm not being stolen. I'm okay. You weren't supposed to know._

_I love her Frankie, don't be like this. Okay? You know better._

_...Jane?_

_...shit._

_Can I come over? I feel like we need to talk._

_I'm already on my way to your place. I'm sorry._

_Don't be. This will be a good talk._

_I hope so. My phone's dying-I'll be there in 5._

_Okay._

_:)_

_Jane, I know that your phone is dead but just know that I love you. I'll never stop, no matter what our relationship is. We have a relationship that has withstood so many things- and I will never forget that. You mean the world to me, and regardless of how this chat goes- I'll always be by your side._

_Maura. My phone is at 1% ;]_

_Oh._

_Open your door._

* * *

><p><em>Frankie will you walk Jo for me?<em>

_Why._

_Because I'm not home._

_Fuck no. Ask Ma. I ain't your emotional slave._

_Shut up Frankie, don't be a dick._

_Whatever Jane._

_I got Ma to do it. Seriously brother- you need an attitude adjustment. You are not entitled to things just because you want them. Grow up and talk to me when you realize that not everything on this planet is for you._

_Fuck off Jane. ugh whatever_

_Already did? too soon? don't care. Go call Riley._

_Maybe I fuckin will. Thats super gross Jane. don't flaunt it okay?_

_;D_

_I still hate you._

_Yolo_

_I hate you more now Jane. I'm deleting you off my phone. Goodbye._


	75. Thirteen Senses - Into the Fire

She gasps.

Your brain stops all function and you run on instinct alone. The symphony of her voice crescendos higher than you've ever heard it. Her nails dig into your shoulder, making little hash marks in their wake. The pain is minimal, but the pleasure is plentiful. The purest skin right in front of your face starts to become moist as the temperature in the room rises. You look up and her golden waves are spread out on your pillow in the most intoxicating disarray that you've ever seen. To see her- the epitome of class and manners- lose all self-discipline and let herself go, is more addicting than the crack that you used to haul off the streets. You need this; you need her.

There's words in your throat that you are trying to voice, but the energy that would take is needed by your task at hand. Your fingers rain down her sternum and melt into a puddle at her hips. Thumbs imprint themselves on the little bones while the rest of your digits make sure that every square inch of her torso has been loved upon. When she raises herself to meet you, you finally cave. Softly, yet with a hint of need, you lean forward and drag your teeth across the expanse of skin that's just for you to see and taste. You only stop once you've reached your final barrier: black lace.

You fumble past your last stop like a fool and lift you head to see your partner staring at you like a ravenous predator. She nearly growls once you stop and quickly you see her demeanor shift from inpatient to 'get down there right now'. Slowly you drag the piece of clothing down toned legs to fall off the side of the bed where it's quickly forgotten. A wink and smile later, you've been banished to the southern end of your bed with no intention to return.

There are no more secrets once she's bared. You lock eyes with her one last time before continuing on your journey to the center of your world. The little gasp is heard again and suddenly you are physically no longer able to wait. You dip your head one last time and walk right into the fire. It burns so good and oh lordddd is it sweet. If this is what heaven is like, then you're prepared to leave this Earth for good. She is singing your praises to no one in particular, just happy to be right here, right now. She is whispering your name so softly that you wonder if it's even meant for your ears. The syncopated sounds of happiness morph into feminine growls of need. The space in which your head resides become tightened once her muscles flex and trap you in.

Her posture turns ramrod as the quakes start to parade themselves down her delicious body. Hee hands squeeze yours so hard that you bite down lightly on her in return. Hazel eyes shoot open as her extended pleas quickly silence as she contorts in the more erotic display of pleasure that you've ever witnessed. She quickly turns to liquid and splashes back down on the bed, melting in your hands. The fire is slowly dying inside but it will only take a few hours to stoke it again. Until then, you'll bask in the afterglow and thank every deity that you can name.


	76. Elliot Smith - Say Yes

**Happy tears guys, happy tears- okay?**

* * *

><p>"Hey Bud" Jane rocked back and forth on her feet, waiting the appropriate amount of time before continuing her monologue. "I just figured I'd stop by real quick to check in on you. How's it goin?"<p>

When no response came, Jane sighed and leaned against a tree. "Dude, you don't even know how fucking scared I am right now. My whole family hasn't gotten together in over 15 years, do you know why? Because Italians are fucking craz-o; we're loud and obnoxious and someone is always drinking. But, we love each other. We love each other really hard, and that is exactly what I need right now. Don't even get me started on what I have to wear _underneath_. Ugh. Maybe they'll all be too focused on Maura- that would be nice."

The brunette shivered in the fall breeze that seemed to remind her that she was not here for very long and to hurry along.. Well, in theory, no one is here very long -some more so than others though. Jane tugged on the stiff collar of her uniform and tried her best to say the rest of her piece without tearing up.

"And it's my honor to not only say the vows you wrote for me, Frost, but I am also singing that song we wrote back in 09 at the Robber? Yeah, Jane Rizzoli is gonna sing again- you were right when you told me that I'd sing for any pretty girl that came along. Well, she came along and now I'm gonna sing our song to her. I changed the meaning though, because it would be weird if I was singing to your ex-girlfriend from 4 years ago, right?" Jane tried to laugh but it came out like a strangled sob. She tried to continue to make her peace but the words left her behind. She could only stay a bit longer, so she sang the chorus of the song that they wrote years ago.

_I'm in love with the world through the eyes of a girl_

_Who's still around the morning after_

_We met up four years ago, and I grew up - I didn't know_

_I'd be around the morning after_

Her eyes welled up and she leaned her head back to stare at the sky to prevent the tears from spilling over and ruining the makeup that Constance had spent hours on. She heard a tiny little sigh- a whimper, a mewl and she whipped her head to the side. Maura had gotten out of the limo and was trying to walk towards her without staining her shoes. Her gloved hand was covering her mouth, a classic Maura move symbolizing that was trying not to cry. She apparently had stopped at the sight of Jane talking her best friend, and was too overcome by emotion to continue forward. Jane raised a hand, which meant in their silent language they had developed over the years, that she was on her way back. Her heart leaped and soared when Maura smiled that little smirk only reserved for her and slowly turned around.

Jane turned back to her best friend and rubbed the cement affectionately. She knocked a few times on the top of the stone and went back to her original speech.

"Hey Bud. I'm getting married today and I just hope that you'll come see us. Maura and I won't get to see you, but we appreciate the effort. Take care, I'll visit soon and bring the _wife_." Jane giggled at the thought and turned around to head back to the limo that was almost 15 minutes behind schedule to get her and Maura to the church. Right before she opened the door, Jane turned one last time to wave at the marker that stood so heartbreakingly fresh against the older plots. He would come, he always promised that he would. He'd be there. What kind of friend and partner would Barry Frost be if he let something like death prevent him from seeing Jane Rizzoli get married (and sing!)?

He'd be there.

He would.


	77. Snow Patrol - Crack the Shutters

It was warm.

That's the first thing Jane Rizzoli realized when she had started to wake up. The second thing was that whatever heavenly cloud she was sleeping on was _not _her bed. She tried to lift her head from the pillow and realized that she'd been drooling. Whatever she did before bed must have been exhausting, she only drooled when she was sleeping _hard. _

Her calf muscles twinged from her legs laying face down all night, making Jane quickly bring her knees up her torso. It was that moment that she realized that she was naked, aside from the bed sheet tangled around her like a frat boy toga. Jane rolled over to try and open her eyes without staring into the sun. Once she completed her rotation, Jane buried her head under the pillow and slowly opened one eye.

When she finally convinced the second eye to open she realized that she was staring at a hand. She was staring at a hand that seemed to belong to Maura, or at least someone with the exact same jewellry as her. Jane tried her best to put some facts together to explain why she was naked in a bed with Maura.

1) They had gone out for Jane's Birthday the night before.

2) Maura had been their DD, so Jane didn't have to worry about catching a cab or trying to go somewhere afterwards.

3) Somewhere down the line, Jane had been transported

4) She was naked with Maura in a bed.

The figure next to her started to move which reminded Jane that she was not alone. Maura's hand felt around the bed, eventually landing on Jane's thigh. She rubbed the warm skin for a few moments and rolled over to face her bedmate. After rotating, Maura closed her eyes once more and burrowed her head into Jane's sheet-clad chest. Jane hadn't even processed what had happened yet. She must have gotten plastered last night to feel so sluggish today. She closed her eyes to maybe sneak in a few moments of sleep when she heard the happiest little sigh escape from Maura.

"Mmmm...Happy Birthday, Jane." Maura's sleepy voice vibrated again Jane's sternum. Maura found a spot not covered by sheet and placed a small kiss on the bared skin. Jane looked down at the sleepy woman and smiled. Wait.

1) Maura looked to be just as naked as Jane was.

2) Maura had just kissed her in a rather..intimate area. Even if it wasn't sexual, it was...wait.

Sexual.

Uhoh.

"M-Maura?" Jane whispered. She failed to produce any noise the first time, so she cleared her throat and tried again.

"Maura?"

A solitary hazel eye opened sleepily to show that she was awake, but was just being quiet. Jane shifted to sit up a bit.

"Maura, did we-?"

Maura tugged the sheet down Jane's torso slowly and raised her head to meet the gaze of her partner. She bit one lip and placed another kiss right between Jane's breasts. When she looked up she saw that Jane looked so adorable and confused.

"Happy Birthday Jane." Maura husked, looking shyly at her bedmate.

"Uhh, no offense but what happened last night, and why am I naked?" Jane asked, waiting for an explanation.

"I gave you something that no one else would. You kept singing "Birthday Sex" last night during karaoke, and it gave me an idea. So, I gave you… just that!"

Jane's jaw dropped as the sheet was pulled off her completely. Maura rose from her position and deftly pushed Jane back onto the bed. The sheet slipped off of Maura's naked body and for a moment while she hovered above Jane bathed in sunlight- she looked like an Angel.

"So, I assume you don't remember last night. You're lucky I'm great at giving." Maura purred into Jane's ear, nipping at her neck as she rose back up to sit on her haunches. Jane took in the sight of the honey blonde and just nodded, unable to form words.

"Happy Birthday to you..." Maura started to sing as she made her way down Jane's body.

Yes, a very Happy Birthday to Jane indeed.


	78. Missy Higgins - Secrets

Part One of Three

"How come "Ann Jane" is never here when Daddy is, do they not share well?"

The question came seemingly out of the blue. Maura and Daniel, her five year old companion to the park, had been walking along the gravel path leading down the hill when the initial inquiry was made. Daniel was like her in that way though, they both just spouted off questions whenever they had them. It was endearing, but also heartbreaking to think that her son might face the same hardships that she did while growing up and being the odd one.

"It's "Aunt Jane" Daniel, and I'm not sure what you mean? Could you explain it to me?", she could already feel the prickling of her skin at the slight aversion to the truth. She knew what he meant, and he really had named the problem far too close for Maura's comfort level. Granted, he was still a boy and had not developed the mindset for a romantic set of thoughts, but even if he was referring to his toys, in essence, he was 100% accurate. Her two favorite people in her life were not good at sharing her and had to desire to do so.

"Okay. Aunt. Jane." with a little accentuation on the "t", the little boy's cheeks turned up as he smiled up at his mother. "When will she visit again? Can we go home and look at the map? I wanna see where Ann Jane is at!" her tiny human asked while jumping up and down nearly yanking Maura's arm off in excitement. Very rarely did he show any outward signs of excitement; he was an introvert like her. Other than that, his rugged brown curls and mischievous eyes were characteristics that his father possessed. Ironically enough, those were some of the reasons that Maura had fallen for him.

"I suppose, it's been nearly a month. Your father did leave a few weeks ago, and we forgot to do it last time, huh?" Maura knelt down to the boy's eye level and placed loving hands on his face to ensure that her message came across at loving and not disciplinary. "You can always ask about Aunt Jane, Daniel, you don't have to wait until your father has left. But, your father loves you and he only wants to spend time with you when he's in town, that's why we don't see Jane while he's here". A small lie wouldn't hurt, right? It wasn't even a lie, just a partial truth.

Maura laughed as her son bit his lip, sign that he was analyzing her words carefully. His concentration was broken when Maura's hands fell from his face to tickle his shoulders lightly. It wasn't a very obvious sign of affection- Maura and her son both shared an aversion to public display- but it was enough for him to know that he was not in trouble, and everything was okay.

"Okay so: I can ask about Aunt Jane whenever I want, but I shouldn't ask a lot around Daddy?" he looked at her with earnest eyes, he'd come to this conclusion and he truly hoped he was correct. His mother nodded at him with a proud smile and stood back up to take his hand. They turned around to leave the park. Daniel felt a tiny tug on his hand and look up at his mother. She was looking at him to make sure that he truly wanted to do this, so he smiled at her and picked up his pace. He really wanted to see where Jane was! Maybe, if his mother was feeling particularly nice, she let him call her!

They loaded their tote bag into the back of the SUV and Maura opened the side door. Daniel used the running board to hoist himself into his booster seat and fastened all the buckled. He raised his hands in the air and yelled "Done! Check me?!" Maura giggled at her son's little competition with himself to beat his own time.

"Oh, you didn't fasten the lap belt all the way D" Maura patted the half buckled piece laying across his jeans. He pouted, he had just wanted to beat his time. But, that's what happens when you aren't thorough. "but I think you tried very hard, I'll just add a second onto your time. Remember though, I'd rather you take longer to put it together than not be safe in case anything were to happen okay Little Man?" the term of endearment slipped out before Maura could stop it.

"That's what Jane calls me." that was all he had to say on the matter. Maura nodded, her heart was aching at their ruined moment, she'd have to be more careful in the future.

She walked around to the driver's side door and climbed in. She handed her ipod to her son, who just shook his head sadly. He was not in the mood for their car ride sing-a-longs, he just wanted to see Jane. It was a secret he kept deep in his heart next to the memories of his Gramma Constance (where Jane said that she could live forever), he very rarely thought about it but: he loved Jane more than his father. They both were gone all the time, but all his father wanted to do is talk about his travels and who he met. He never really listened to what Daniel had to say. It hurt more when he didn't listen to what his mother said though, because she was very smart and his father never even noticed that.

Jane would always talk about how much his mother knew! She would come up with the weirdest things to ask her, and most of the time his mother knew the answers! If she didn't know, Jane would remember and ask her when she came back. What Jane didn't know is that if his mother didn't know the answer to one of her funny questions, that she would research the entire subject for days at a time until she knew it. Sometimes, if she was too impatient to wait, they would face-time each other or skype. It was like they were a different type of family when Jane was in town.

Daniel sighed and tried not to cry, he really missed Jane a lot. School was almost starting again, and he hadn't seen her since Christmas. She had promised him that she would be there on his first day of kindergarten to hold his hand and make sure his mama would be okay. So, he really hoped that she remembered because he had a very important question to ask her.

Maura flipped it to the Disney playlist on her phone and started the drive home. Since she'd moved out of Beacon Hill and out into the country, she'd realized just how much she enjoyed driving. When one lives in the city, your attention is demanded by pedestrians, fellow drivers, and the city itself. But when driving down a lonely one-lane road, you can relax a little. (Unless it's spring and deer just seem to throw themselves at moving vehicles). Jane would always name the creatures that sprang out into the road, just to keep Daniel from realizing when they'd stopped so suddenly. For being a former Chief M.E,. Maura was just not comfortable explaining death to her child just yet.

Her son had fallen asleep some time on the ride home, and Maura was not about to wake him up. Even at five years old, Daniel still only slept for 9 hours a night, and Maura tried to best to get him to nap for two hours when possible to lower his sleep debt. Plus, she needed those two hours to herself to take care of the other side of her life. She crept into the driveway and turned the music down. Casting a final glance at her sleeping son, Maura shut off the car and gathered her things. The tote and their park toys could be left for a little bit, they'd most likely be using them in the near future. She carefully undid the straps of his seat and hoisted her son onto her hip. The fact that he weighed much more than the last time Maura held him like this made her realize that he was growing older and soon she he would understand just what kind of life that his mother lead.

* * *

><p>"Hey, it'll be okay Maur- he's only <em>five<em>, I don't think he meant it that way" Jane's voice of reason was the only thing to ever penetrate Maura's self-deprecating thoughts when she got into one of her moods. Maura set the ipad down on the rubber mat on the side of the bathtub and reached over to grab the glass of wine she had perched on the edge of the porcelain.

"I know that, Jane, but it still threw me for a loop. I never expected him to describe it quite to accurately. I mean, he _really_ wants to see you- you're his best friend- but I don't know if I can handle it." Maura sighed and sat up in the tub to pull the stopper out. They'd been talking for almost an hour and Maura didn't want to chance Daniel waking early and hearing Jane's voice. That's one situation that she just could not handle right now.

"Well, I'm near Chicago right now; I could easily catch a flight from O'Hare. I could be there to kiss you goodnight tonight." Jane smiled at the blonde who rose from the tub, her gorgeous curves littered with bubbles that Jane would do anything to be able to smell and wipe off of her naked body. "Or, I could at least call back in an hour and talk to Little Man, it has been a difficult few months for him. I know I haven't been around much-"

"Neither has Ian, though, and it's sad to say that I almost wish he'd never return. I know he's my husband and my child's father, but he really only holds the title for it- there's no feelings there anymore." Maura sighed and bent over to grab her tablet. She saw Jane smirk at the brief display of her naked body and clicked her tongue reproachfully. "This is not yours Jane, I'm not just free to ogle every moment of the day" Maura laughed lightly while putting her robe on one-armed. She flipped the case over and walked from the bathroom to her bedroom. She set Jane on the comforter and went to throw on some comfortable clothes. She was going to need to make a decision soon, and she needed to figure it out before her son woke up in..thirty minutes.

"Maura, I gotta run okay? My phone's dying and I'm going to hit the city where I'll have no wifi or service really. I'll text you when I'm at the airport and hopefully you can tell me where you want me to fly, okay?" Maura heard Jane's voice and bolted half-dressed from her closet to see Jane one last time.

"Love ya, see ya Maur" Jane nodded to the blonde, who was embarrassed at how choked up she was getting over something so menial.

"Love ya, see ya Jane. Be safe" Maura whispered and tapped the hangup button. Instantaneously her background of her ipad stared at her. It was a photo taken by Jane of Maura and Daniel last Christmas when Daniel realized that his father wasn't going to make it in for the holidays. Jane had changed her plans and flown to Boston with a Santa costume and a rucksack full of presents for her two favorite people. She'd burst into their house with a camera ready to photograph their initial reactions, and boy did they deliver. Maura's eyes were shining with love towards the very lithe Santa, while Daniel looked like he could care less about the bag of presents, he had Jane and that was fine. If he couldn't have both parents home for the holidays, this would do just fine!

Maura blinked back tears at the decision she had to make. She really wanted no- needed to see Jane, it had been nearly six months. That's the longest stretch of time they'd gone without seeing each other since they'd met. But last time really had affected their relationship and had almost turned out disastrous.

_"Hey, you know that I love you right? I just don't like to be here when Ian is- he just loves to show you off. He knows that I love you and wish you were mine, and he loves to let it be known that you're not." Jane tapped a finger against Maura's sternum as Daniel napped in the crazy wrapping paper mess that had erupted once their initial surprise wore off and he had realized that the whole bag of gifts was for him. _

_"I know you love me- that's not the issue Jane. The problem is that I love you too, but I cannot and will not let myself stray from my wedding vows. I am an Isles, and we are never 'women on the side'; my dignity and pride come before everything other than my son and it scares me how willingly I let those things slide when you're around. That's another problem Jane, you don't stay. You're a traveller, it would kill you to stay. _

_"I run Maura, I don't do it for fun. I make the best of the bad situation. I'd stay for you though, I would. I run everywhere- I don't stop. My brain doesn't even stop for food or water, it only stops when I hear your voice. I-"_

"Stay a little bit longer then, each time. Stay for longer and maybe I'll consider a talk with Ian. I love him Jane, not like a spouse, but as someone who truly cared for me when I was younger and I can't just forget that. But, that love that we had, it's long gone. I love Daniel with my entire being but after he was born I think Ian was reminded what real world responsibilities are, and he didn't like that." Maura snuggled into Jane's familiar embrace, appreciating the musky scent of her partner.

_"I'll try okay. Just, it's hard yanno? After Hoyt, I - I just can't sit still. Even though he's dead, and everyone knows it. I just have a hard time staying put. I think it's because when I worked for BPD I at least had cases to distract me. But once Frost-"_

_"Hey." Maura placed a hand on her cheek and kissed her chin softly. "You don't have to explain yourself, not to me. We don't have to talk about this yet, it's Christmas." she laid her head back down on Jane's chest and focused on her heartbeat. After a few tense moments, she heard the tiniest whimper come from deep within Jane's chest. She looked up and gasped at how Jane seemed to be sobbing on mute. She made no noise but her eyes were red and her face contorted into silent sobs. Tears pooled in Maura's scalp but she didn't care. Jane was healing from all of her wounds, some physical- some not, and that's all the matter to Maura. _

_The blonde sat up on the couch and pulled Jane close to her. She nuzzled her face into the wayward curls that seemed to get larger and wilder every time she saw her. Jane kissed below Maura's ear and whispered "I miss him Maur- I really do. I just can't get over it. It's been almost four years and I still can't make peace." with that silent admission that shattered Maura's heart into tiny pieces among the strewn gifts on the floor, she had done the only thing she could think of. _

_She kissed Jane. _

"Momma? Are you okay?" a little voice said from the doorway. Little blue eyes peeked around the corner at his mother, who was sitting in just a bra and jeans on her bed sniffling at the ipad. "Did Daddy send you another bad email? I promise I won't tell if you wanna say he's a butt-head" Daniel tried his best to reason with his mother. He knew that he was supposed to knock before entering his parent's room but his momma wasn't there when he woke up like she usually was so he got scared.

"Oh, just a moment Daniel. Go set up for a snack and I'll be right there, okay?" Maura jumped and flipped the offending tablet over onto the bed. She scooted back into her closet and grabbed a simple tank top and Jane's BPD hoodie. She grabbed her phone off the nightstand and flipped it to "loud" so she wouldn't miss her brunette's message. She opened her door and smiled at her son with his little plastic Avengers plate and utensil set all laid out. He had even opened the dishwasher and grabbed a cup too.

"Before snack time buddy, I have some good news!" Maura sat down next to her son at the table and took his little hand into hers.

"'kay" he said clearly exasperated by the delay of his routine snack. He was expecting some stupid news about his dad, who was less important than his snack.

"What would you say if we maybe had a visitor this evening. She might even stay for a few nights." Maura winked at her son.

"JANE? IS JANE COMING?" Daniel jumped out of his chair and started to dance around the kitchen. He ran over and grabbed Maura's hands, pulling her out of her chair and into a clumsy imitation Waltz.

"I think so little man!" Maura giggled as they pranced around the kitchen in terrible form, just relishing in their moment. Briefly she wondered if it was healthy for him to be so attached to Jane, yet so aloof about his father. But, she was in the same boat, so she didn't dwell for long. Daniel even chose to ignore his mother using Jane's nickname because Jane herself was coming to see them, and that was the best thing ever.


	79. Gold Motel - The Cruel One

**this one is short but the next and last one should be a monster. It could be a few days before I get that written. So, leave me some love for motivation and we'll see what happens ;D  
><strong>

* * *

><p>Okay,<em> I'm at the airport Maur. Where should I<em> go?

_Come home, Jane. Come on home to us. _

_I will. What have you told Ian?_

_Nothing yet, I'll figure it out soon though. How long are you staying?_

_As long as I can. I'll try my best. Flights for Boston leave at 3:20 my time, so I should be home right after dinner. Then, we can spend the night talking about what you're going to do about Ian. _

_That sounds nice, Jane. I'll leave you a plate. :) _

_Thank you. I'm going to let my phone charge while I'm at an outlet. Love ya, see ya. 3_

_Love ya, see ya. 3_

* * *

><p>"Can I help with dinner tonight?" Daniel pleaded with his mother with biggest blue eyes that he could manage. Maura nodded and smiled; he looked just like his father when he really wanted to do something.. Even after 5 years of exposure from him, and many more from her husband, she still couldn't say no to that face. As a smaller child, Daniel seemed to be placated by little things- which made venturing out with him quite easy. If they went to the store and he wanted a toy, he would ask nicely and if Maura said no, he didn't throw a fit. Did he become silent and brooding? Yes, he did. But he didn't really throw tantrums or anything, he more staged silent protests over missed opportunities. There were only a select few times that Maura had to leave somewhere early because of Daniel's behavior, and for that she was forever grateful.<p>

"What should me make, Big D?" Maura felt playful, like there wasn't an elephant in the room named Ian and his separate life tonight was a celebration of their favorite person coming to visit- her rocky marriage could wait until tomorrow.. Her son took on a face of mock concentration and studied their pantry intent on finding something for dinner. Even if he couldn't quite read the labels on the cans, or the boxes full of things, he still wanted some input on the matter. But, considering this was quite a special night, he figured Jane's favorite meal was on the menu. It was a tradition every single time Jane came home to have the same thing.

"Can we have The Rizzoli Special?" a spatula and a loaf of bread were thrust into Maura's hand indicating that tonight would be grilled cheese and chicken soup- Jane's favorite meal. Normally she would make it herself, but she always got that special twinkle in her eye when Maura replicated her favorite dish.

"I think that would be appropriate, Daniel. Do you want to make Jane's sandwich right before she gets here? She should be here around 7:30 or 8:00, depending on traffic." Maura set the utensils down and sprayed her pan. She turned around to see her son on his tip toes trying to grab the peanut butter off of the high shelf. Maura stifled a giggle and reached over to nudge it slightly, making it easier for her son to get it down himself. With a look of pride and a little chuckle, the little boy set the peanut butter, a butter knife, and a paper plate out on the table where Jane would usually sit. He already knew that she wanted one grilled cheese and one peanut butter and fluff sandwich to dip in her soup. His mother always made a silly face when Jane did that, but Daniel had tried it once and it was really good!

"Okay, it's all ready to go for when she's here." Daniel jumped around quickly and accidentally brought his elbow down on the table_ hard_. "Ouch!" he cried, rubbing his elbow and holding it to his mother for a kiss. " I'm just excited mama! Oh! Can I show her my new school shoes and my bookbag?" Daniel, having forgotten all about injury, rushed into his room to gather his new things that they had purchased last weekend. Maura started to make their dinner; if he needed help, he would call for her.

After the sandwiches were sitting on a paper towel and the soup had been taken off of the stove,

Maura realized that her son was being a little too quiet, even for him. She covered the sandwiches and stuck them in the microwave. She covered the soup then removed her apron, folding it neatly over the chair. She treaded lightly down the hallway to Daniel's room and peeked inside to see him curled up with his Red Sox hat, sobbing quietly into his pillow. Maura opened the door slowly and knelt beside her son's bed. Her fingers lovingly played with his curls as he opened his watery eyes to look at her.

"I-I'm sorry mama. I just got really sad." Daniel tried his best to explain in between hiccups and sobs.

"What happened Little Man? Did you hurt yourself? Where does it hurt? It is when you hit your elbow earlier?" Maura gave him a quick once-over and ran her hands over his head looking for any bumps or contusions.

"It was bad but only for a second. I thought for a little bit that if Jane lived here instead of Daddy that I would be happier and I could have two parents to take me to kindergarten. But I promise it was just for a second, no lies. I know that Daddy loves me, but he's never here anymore. Besides, he still thinks that I hate baseball. But, I love it! I love it so much." hot tears leaked out of Daniel's eyes as he buried his head into his mother's arms. He didn't want to see just how mad that he made her for speaking poorly of his father.

But, when the scolding didn't come, he raised his head in confusion. His mama was crying too. Oh, no! What kind of son was he to make his mama cry? Only the bad kids on t.v. made their mothers cry and he was not a baddie!

"I'm sorry mama! I *hic*didn't mean to make you cry. I'm so so so so so so*hic* sorry!" her son's sobs got louder and deeper and the sight of his mother in tears. He grabbed the sides of her face and peppered it with kisses like Jane would do when he hurt himself. It always helped him feel better, so maybe he could help his mama.

"No, no! My Daniel: my love, my son, my everything- no! You didn't make me cry. Do you want to know something? I-I wish Jane was here too honey. I wish she was here to tuck us into bed and sing her crazy songs about what we're eating every morning. I wish she was here teach you Italian and to snuggle us until we fall asleep. I really want that, big D. But, we can't have that just yet. I know that you might be too young to really understand but I really want her to stay, but Daddy is not good at sharing. Remember what you asked earlier? It was right. So, I need to talk to your father, but that's not for a while. For now, we're just going to enjoy Jane while she's here, okay? Everything will work out just fine. Let's go eat dinner and then maybe we can get your bath in before Jane gets here so you aren't such a stinky little boy!" Maura laughed and wiped her tears away.

This was getting out of hand, she really needed to talk to Ian about their marriage, or lack thereof. It was killing her to see her son like this, and it was killing her even more to watch Jane walk away from them every single time. She didn't know how many more times her heart could handle not kissing Jane. She didn't know how many more times she could try and fake a smile when her husband came home. All that Maura Isles knew was that her life needed to change before it started to affect her son, and that was not an option.


	80. Chaka Kahn - Through the Fire

**omg sorry this took forever, hahaha. Oopsie. It's a beast of a chapter, and it took me the better part of a week to write. haha. Enjoy :3**

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><p>After dinner was over Maura insisted that Daniel get his bath out of the way. However, the excited child was too wound up to sit still. Therefore, bathtime was becoming quite the struggle. Maura was nearing the end of her rope.<p>

"Daniel Thomas, I'm not kidding, get your pajamas and meet me in the bathroom **right. now.**" Maura emphasized the last two words while trying to think of a fitting punishment if he did not comply. She couldn't blame him really; Jane coming into town was quite a big deal, and he usually was very tame for a five-year-old.

"I don't want to. What if I miss Jane? I don't wanna miss Jane!" Daniel said loudly. He didn't dare yell at his mother, but he surely wanted to get his point across. He threw his hands up (just like his father) and cocked his head at an angle. He was set in his decision.

"Well, you can get in the bath now and be out by the time Jane gets here. Then, she can read you a bedtime story. Or, you can wait until she gets here and she will put you to bed with no story. Your pick bud. But, I will not tolerate this kind of behavior when she is here, I mean it." Maura knelt down at looked her son head on. He seemed to contemplate his options before letting out a hefty sigh and throwing his hands up in defeat. Turning on his heel, Daniel marched back down the hallway and into his room.

Maura smiled at her son's reasonable, yet childish, reaction to her ultimatum. She was kind of ashamed at her hostile reaction to his fit; she generally prided herself on her patience. But, the older her son got, the more his mannerisms and reactions mirror those of his rarely-present father.

"Okay, but can I wear my new school jammies since Jane is coming? We love the sox!" Daniel threw on his most charming smile, a smile that would surely cause Maura more problems than bathtime in the future. So, she would be thankful that she was raising a good boy, who really just longed for the affection of a second parent.

"I think that should be okay. Just make sure to fold them nicely in the morning, okay? I don't want them to get lost under your black hole of a bed!" she giggled and stood up to go to the bathroom. Daniel followed his mama into his bathroom and held up a hand to stop her.

"I think I'm okay mama. I'm a big boy, can I do it myself?" he asked, ready to try and get everything in this bath done on his own.

Maura mulled this over for a minute. He was pretty advanced for his age, so 5 years old seemed like a good time. He was usually a good helper and only really ever needed help rinsing his hair, so she agreed.

"Sure, but I'm still going to sit here and make sure you're okay. You're so sweet, I wouldn't want you to melt." Maura kissed his cheeks and ruffled his hair lovingly.

"Love you mama. I'm sorry I was a baddie. I just miss Jane." Daniel wrapped his arms around Maura in a physical apology. He snuggled his head into Maura's torso, stuck his arms in her hoodie pocket, and tickled her. She yelped and mock gasped in horror.

"A tickle attack? Before Jane got here? Ohh, I'm gonna tell her!" a deep laugh followed her sentence as her son joined in- all their previous problems forgotten. Her son pulled away and turned to start the tub.

"Hold on a second kiddo, let me grab my phone before we get you in there; I don't want to miss Jane if she needs me for anything."

"Okay mama." Daniel sat on the edge of the tub and poked one of his little rubber duckies until it wobbled into the tub. He did that with the next four until a little row of yellow duckies lined his tub like they were marching him into his bath.

"Okay big D, go ahead." his mama came back with her phone and her pajamas. He never told his father that his mama wore Jane's clothes to bed every night, he wouldn't like that at all. He knew they were Jane's because on the back they said "Rizzoli" in big letters. Jane had taught him how to spell "Jane Rizzoli" "Maura Isles" and "Daniel Faulkner", he'd asked about spelling his father's name, but Jane got in trouble for teaching him a name worse than butt-head.

Maura flipped down the toilet seat and brought her knees to her chest like she was a teenager hiding in the bathroom to use the house phone again. She flicked her eyes over to make sure that her son was turning the correct dials on the tub, which he did. So, she unlocked her phone and started an email that she'd been putting off writing all day. But, she needed to get it done before Jane arrived in...a half hour or so. She tapped her email app and tried her best to sound cordial and polite. It was probably around four a.m. wherever Ian was, so she didn't expect a quick reply.

[To: IFaulkner ]

[From: DrMauraIsles ]

Subject: (no subject)

Ian, we really need to talk about where we are heading in our marriage. I would greatly appreciate if you would contact me via Skype or Email at your earliest convenience. Daniel starts school in 11 days, and I'm sure he'd love a phone call or at least a web chat.

Thanks,

Maura.

Her phone made the "Whoosh!" noise as her email was marked as sent. She set her phone down on the corner of the seat and switched into a cross-legged position on her makeshift chair. Daniel was currently leading his ducks into a bubble battle, and he seemed to be doing rather well.

"Don't forget your hair little man, okay?" Maura asked, wondering if it was too soon to text Jane.

"I won't mama, just a little bit longer. King Quackswell the fourth is getting ready for form a coup over Baron Von Mallardston." her son bit his lip in concentration as the two ducks went down in a flurry of soapy bubbles.

"What?" Maura burst out laughing. It always amazed her just how well her son picked up on things. She was very grateful to have a child as perceptive and well-mannered as Daniel was.

"Nothing mama, just playin. I'm gonna be done soon, the waters gettin' cold"

After a few splashes and some wayward ducks, Daniel was pouring cups of lukewarm water on his head to get rid of all the "clampoop" (another Jane Rizzoli phrase that stuck). He sputtered and stood while Maura wrapped him up in a big fluffy towel and danced around with him a bit. He wiggled to be let down so Maura unplugged the drain and left him to change in peace.

She unlocked her phone again and saw that she'd gotten a message from Jane ten minutes ago.

_I just got off the highway, I'll be there in like fifteen. _

She smiled at the thought of her best friend and son interacting once again. In all honestly, Jane had been a better parent to her son than Ian ever had been. He responded to her like you would generally see in a child views someone as their parent or guardian. Ian was never really a _bad_ father per se; he just never really wanted to be there for his son. He wanted to parent from as far away as possible- maybe he was that kind of husband too.

"Mama?" a small voice came from the bathroom. Wide eyes met hers as she realized that her son was guilty of something.

"Yes, darling?" Maura used her most comforting, maternal tone.

"I- I was just trying to brush my teeth, and I spilled toothpaste on the sink, I'm sorry." Daniel's eyes welled up at the thought of what punishment he might receive. He was just trying to be a good boy, and he'd just made a mess.

"Let's take a look okay bud? Nothing to worry about, it's just toothpaste." Maura smiled as his little sniffles started to disappear. She grabbed his little hand and together they walked to the bathroom. Maura couldn't hold in the giggle that erupted from her at the sight of this "mess". Daniel's toothbrush had just a teensy bit too much toothpaste but had flipped over and sat delicately on the pile of dirty clothes that he had just changed out of.

"Oh, big D it's not that bad. At least your toothbrush landed on your dirty clothes and not your red sox pajamas, huh?" a few dabs of cold water and a fresh round of toothpaste left Daniel to just nod in agreement.

"Okay, spit!" Maura laughed as her son sputtered into the sink that he could barely see over.

"Can we wait up for Jane please?" Daniel asked as he walked towards the kitchen. "I can even start her sandwich!"

Maura thought for a moment as they headed into to the kitchen. She stopped suddenly at her door and threw it open quickly to toss her pj's on her bed from the hallway. She would have time to change into them later. After double checking that they'd landed safely on the bed, Maura shut the door and continued on their trek to the kitchen.

"Yes you may, but be careful of the knife. I know that it's not sharp, but it can still cut you if you don't pay attention." Maura hit a few buttons on the microwave to warm Jane's soup up. Her grilled cheese still sat on a paper towel over the plate, just the way Jane liked it. How she could eat something like that lukewarm baffled Maura to no end. But, there are just some questions that she truly did not want the answers to.

A gentle knock on the wooden door made Maura's heart jump into her throat. She'd never once felt this excited to see her husband when he came back from a trip. But, she nearly burst into tears when she knew that Jane was coming into town.

"Mama! Can I answer it?" the little firecracker was out of his chair in a flash. Maura chased him down and stopped him before he flung the door open.

"You need to ask who it is, bud. You don't want to invite a stranger in, do you?" Maura tried to be stern, but inside she was just as excited to see Jane as her son was.

"May I ask _please_ who is it?" Daniel sounded sugary sweet and almost sincere. A hearty laugh was heard outside the door. Both Maura and her son's faces lit up when they heard:

"It's the police ma'am, I need a place to stay. I seem to have gotten lost and can only find my way to pretty girls and their adorable sons."

"Jane!" the door was flung open to reveal the tall brunette with..quite a bit more luggage than usual. This itself left Maura speechless, too overwhelmed to form any coherent words.

"Hey babe." Jane winked at Maura as her son wrapped his arms around her torso. Slowly they maneuvered into the living room and Jane lightly kicked the door shut behind her. Maura blushed like a teenager over the affection that she, as a distant housewife, was not used to receiving. Jane's deep eyes crinkled at the corners, showcasing the small wrinkles that had appeared since her last visit. They were not a sign of age however, Jane Rizzoli only aged emotionally, they were memories that finally had been let go. Memories that had kept her running for all these years. Memories that had torn apart her family and career; Maura and her son were the only two advocates for the sullen former detective anymore. But, they meant more to Jane than a thousand fake pleasantries and half-assed acknowledgements.

"Jane I-" the sleepy boy tried his best to fight the exhaustion that had crept in after his bath. "I made you a fluff-a-nutter sanwish" another yawn permeated his thoughts as his eyes started to roll back in his head. Jane hoisted the boy onto her hip and kissed his head maternally. Maura gently took Jane's bags and walked to her bedroom to store them in the closet.

She knew that Jane wanted a little time alone with Daniel- it had been too long since she'd had a chance to see him. Sure, she skyped or face-timed with Maura on occasion, but Jane had always held Maura's son close her to heart and constant in her thoughts. She knew that her time to be a mother was nearing a close, so she coddled and parented Daniel as if Ian did not exist. That task wasn't too hard for Jane considering she hadn't seen the man since Daniel's christening nearly four years ago. That event had gone smoothly although she could feel the hatred coming off Maura's husband in waves- he'd never really taken to her. Well, how could you really like someone when their soul intention was to please your wife like you refused to? Exactly.

Maura didn't dare unzip Jane's bags- she knew that the emotionally damaged woman appreciated the trust and space that this setting offered her. From what Maura had pieced together from their conversations, Jane hadn't spoken to her family in almost 5 years, unrelated to Daniel's birth. She never pried into the reason that Jane failed to speak of anyone from Boston other than Frankie, but she figured that it had something to do with the Surgeon and his apprentices that insisted on making a then Detective Jane Rizzoli's existence a living hell.

So, Maura set her things in Jane's side of the closet and left the door cracked a bit. With a quick glance around her bedroom, Maura deemed it fit for Jane's visit. It wasn't that Jane was picky about drape colors or something drab of the sort. She just preferred to see the windows clearly and to avoid having anything in the walkways to make for a safe departure if need be. Occasionally when she remembered unsettling things in her dreams, she liked to pace the kitchen and stare at the driveway to ensure that her less-than-alive demons were indeed not strolling the premises waiting to destroy everything that she cared for… again.

"Hey." a simple greeting still left Maura red-faced and shy. One would think that after a decade of companionship, it would take more than a mono-syllable gruff greeting to make her swoon.

"Hey yourself." Maura smiled and walked into the offered embrace. Jane's body was warm from travelling and a welcomed change in temperature from the cold summer nights which seemed to taunt Boston with dreams of golden leaves and trick-or-treats. "Dinner's in the microwave if you're hungry." Maura smiled into Jane's jacketed chest. She inhaled the familiar scent of happiness that she didn't realize just how badly she missed in the six months it had been.

"You make Boston Homicide look sexy." Jane laughed at Maura's choice of wardrobe. The blonde looked down and giggled as well. "Daniel walked in on me changing earlier and this was the first thing I found. Maybe I just missed you a lot, that seems reasonable." Maura pulled back and grabbed Jane's wrist in the lightest grip she could. Even after how close they'd become, she still avoided grabbing Jane's hand without being prompted to do so. She did not want to be put on Jane's list of people who didn't listen and invaded her personal space. She pulled the former detective lightly towards the kitchen and led her to a meal prepared by her two favorite people.

"Little Man wanted to help out with dinner." Maura motioned to the peanut butter that graced the crust of the sandwich and the plate (and the table). A beer made itself at home along with a steaming bowl of chicken soup in front of Jane, who truly was touched with the display of care she was being presented with. Her Ma used to make her homemade things like soup or gnocchi, but never had she been presented with the world's best sandwiches by the world's best people.

"He did great, Maur. Also, I'm pretty sure that he drooled on my jacket on the way to the bed, when is his normal bedtime? It's only 8 and I know that when I was five, I tried every single night to stay up until _at least _10." Jane laughed and took a swig of her ice-cold beer. It was amazing how different the same lager could taste much better when served with love and not the crass attitude of an overworked and underpaid barkeep.

"Actually, we fluctuate from 7:30 until 8 normally. But, he took his bath early so he could be up to meet you, which I think started his internal clock a bit early. Did you have any trouble putting him to bed?" Maura stole teensy bit of Jane's sandwich and stood to grab her grilled cheese out of the microwave. She turned around for Jane's answer and was momentarily stunned by the look of pure adoration and love on her normally sullen partner's face.

"Maura. You remembered? No one ever did…" Jane trailed off as Maura stepped behind Jane and set the cold oily cheese...thing in front of Jane server-style.

"We never forgot Jane. It was actually Daniel's idea for dinner. He explicitly asked for the "Rizzoli Special" for dinner. So, who was I to not comply?" Maura felt herself being tugged down further and a warm set of lips kissed hers lightly but lovingly.

"Thank you." Jane whispered, shoving the cold grilled cheese into her mouth to avoid any further emotional declarations. She didn't mean to kiss Maura less than an hour into her visit, but she was just so taken back by the care and love that this family radiated. It was more than enough for Jane to feel safe- a feeling that she was equal parts terrified and excited for.

Maura was still blushing from the Spiderman style kiss that left her breathless. She'd never been kissed like that, and it was a wonder how that Mary Jane girl had gotten anything done after a kiss like that!

"Sorry." Jane mumbled with a fake sorrowful tone that her dimples gave away. She wasn't sorry for kissing Maura, she was sorry that she couldn't do it again without making the blonde feel guilty. Kissing Maura Isles was just something that most people had done out of habit or expectation- never for love. They treated it as something they were entitled to because of their title. But for Jane Rizzoli that gift, that simple pleasure that could not be measured by mere numbers or scales of any sort, was something that she would never tire or take for granted. Maura Isles was a gem among rocks, and Jane would never ever let her go.

"With a kiss like that, never be sorry" Maura bit her lip and sat back down with a mug of tea for herself. "But, we do need to set some boundaries for our peace of mind. I can't live my life wanting to kiss you so badly, but not being able to." Maura sighed and sipped her tea tentatively,

"I'm not sorry that I kissed you, that's the whole reason I came here: I love kissing you. But, I'm just sorry that someone beat me to wife-ing you up so they have legal rights to kiss you… and much more" Jane mumbled the beginning but towards the end she spoke with a predatory growl.

"Wife-ing me up? Wherever you've travelled Jane, you've surely picked up a few colloquialisms- I like them though, keeps you interesting!" Maura winked and laughed when Jane rolled her eyes just like she used to. "On a serious note, I did email Ian. I requested that he contact me soon and call his son before he starts school be-"

"Oh shit! That's in a few days huh?" Jane looked heartbroken; her days with Daniel would soon be shared by other kids and learning, which made her a proud woman, but also saddened her greatly. What had happened to the little boy in Red Sox pajamas that were too big who called her "Ann Jane" and played Zombies with her?

"I'm not sure of the exact date until the school emails me on Monday. They're splitting the kindergarten into four groups due to class size and staggering their start times so they don't overload the kiddie wing." Maura grimaced as Jane slurped the last of her soup and stood to put her dishes in the sink.

Jane flipped her phone out and checked it briefly before shutting it off completely. The only people that she truly cared about were right here in this house, everyone else could go to hell. She beckoned Maura over to the sink and smiled bashfully at the floor, her dimples making her look adorable. Maura shot Jane a look of mild curiosity and stood as requested. She mock pranced over to Jane who just wrapped her in a loving hug. Maura mewed happily when she felt herself being lifted and swung around slowly. The bright espresso eyes shone with delight at the playful fun they had, even in their 40's. Loving each other was like being two bumbling adolescents stealing kisses behind the school and talking on the phone for hours on end.

The spinning slowed down and Jane moved her hands from around the thin frame down to feminine hips. She held Maura close as they danced around the kitchen, eyes closed. Jane started to hum a song in her deep yet joyful voice. Maura slipped Jane's jacket down her shoulders and casually threw it on the kitchen table. Maura's arms wound around Jane's neck and her hands wove into the hair she'd missed terribly. Jane's thumbs caressed the denim that Maura wore, playing with the little blue and white strings coming from a frayed pocket. The melodic humming from Jane was making Maura sleepy. She'd done a lot more than she anticipated today.

"We should go to the park again tomorrow, I think Daniel would like that. He's been showing me his baseball glove and the little rubber ball that you got him quite a bit. I assume he wants to play, but you know how terrible I am at anything sports related." Maura said with a chuckle. They put their foreheads together and just looked at each other with such love and adoration, that Maura felt tears begin to fall. Warm lips kissed each tear track and dutiful thumbs chased away all evidence of the momentary lapse in composure.

"We should. Should we go sit by the river? I miss doing that." Jane looked out the window to the front porch out of habit.

"It's cold! But, if you're willing to share some of your divine Rizzoli body heat, then I will be inclined to agree. Let me turn on the monitor in Daniel's room, I normally flick it on about now anyways.

"I never asked you why you use that thing, does he have nightmares?" Jane asked worriedly; she hoped that if Little Man ever had any nightmares that Maura would call her or at least let her know!

"It's more for my benefit, really. When he was first born, Ian was around more to keep an eye on him while I showered or went to take the garbage out. But, the older he got the less his father was here to watch him. So, I figured that I would put the baby monitor back into use so I could keep in touch with him while he's asleep." Maura blushed at how that sounded out loud, she'd never really needed to explain herself.

"That's cute Maur, and totally something that you would do." Jane smiled as Maura slipped away into the hall closet. She came back out with a set of boots and slipped into them. Her hoodie and jeans (along with Jane) would keep her warm enough.

Maura grabbed their phones and the house keys then stepped out onto the porch. She locked the door and flipped the tiny monitor on. Jane's hand found hers and wrapped her fingers around Maura's cold hand, rubbing her knuckles lovingly as they crossed the street to the riverbank. The flat rock that they always sat on was a bit dirty so Jane swiped her hand across it a few times, then wiped her hand on her jeans. She sat down with her legs open and beckoned Maura into her lap. Maura rolled her eyes and chuckled, eventually stepping into the space created just for her. Jane's legs came up on each side beside her and Maura draped her arms over her knees, like Queen on her throne in front of her subjects. She stretched her legs out and leaned into Jane. She wiggled her feet back and forth at first, just enjoying the feeling of Jane's breath on her ear and her heartbeat in between her shoulderblades. She fished their phones out of her pocket and set the baby monitor on her lap. Maura unlocked her phone as Jane held down the button to turn hers back on.

"I wonder what Ian will say… " Maura knew this was also on Jane's mind, but the brunette knew enough than to pry about the only snag in their relationship. For all Jane cared, Ian could never come back and be forgotten, but Maura needed closure- something on paper that would free her as sad as it was.

"Dunno." was all Jane could muster on that subject.

"Your mother called me about a month ago. I told her again that you'd call her when you were ready." Maura stared at the big white moon over the water. She was walking a fine line, but these were things that needed to be talked about before they got any further into their relationship.

"Figures. I'm not ready yet Maur. I- I keep wanting to run. Even tonight I've felt the need, and you're the safest place I've ever been- ever felt. Does that make sense? Ever since Hoyt, then Frost, I just can't seem to sit in one place too long before I have to leave. You're the constant in my life, Maura Isles, and it scares the fuck out of me to stay but for you- I'd do anything. I know you're tired of me moving around and calling from all edges of the world. But, I think that while I healed emotionally and physically, that I needed to see life. Not the day-to-day shit that I've been doing for 20+ years Maura, I needed to see that someone, somewhere was happy." Jane whispered the last bit, holding back all the emotions that threatened to spill over.

Maura looked up and cocked her head to the side. She nuzzled Jane's neck and closed her eyes.

"I'm somewhere that you could be happy, and if you're willing to try and stay, everything that I have can be yours. I love you Jane, you know that. I just need to rearrange some parts of my life before we rush into things." Maura kissed a dark neck softly before turning back into her original direction, facing the horizon.

"I know you are Maura; you're the only place I've visited more than once in the last five years. I never come near Boston, except for you. I've seen some things Maura- things that no person should ever have to see.", Jane cleared her throat and started her story again.

"I've seen through my own hands, like clear right fucking through them. I watched my best friend and partner die in front of me, due to my inability to focus because of the damned holes in the my fucking hands... I watched my family get closer and closer, smothering the shit out of me until I legitimately broke, Maura. I know you were there the whole time, just standing behind the crowd because you knew Maur- you just knew that I needed you away from the rest of life's bullshit. I know that you moved out to the country when you got pregnant so I'd still visit you without going into the city. I know that Ian wanted you to stay in Beacon Hill because he could smuggle all the medical shit in and out of you house that he wanted to. I remember when you first started to show and you were so fucking happy because you'd just bought this house and we were sitting on the couch making a scrapbook of your pregnancy when Ian called you and told you that he needed the shed for more of his shit and that I needed to move my stuff because he was coming home. You cried because you'd gone through so much trouble to make us a nice dinner and he'd just ruined it from 3000 miles away. I know that I'm getting off track but try and bear with me, okay?" when Maura nodded silently and pulled both of Jane's hands into her lap, Jane continued her story.

"But, while I also saw those terrible things, Maur, I also saw some of the best things I could ever imagine. I saw people fall in love in Chicago, I saw a little girl see the Mickey Mouse for the first time in Orlando, I watched a wounded vet get his meal paid for by a whole bus of high school kids in Detroit, I saw a thirteen year old boy recite the presidents forwards and backwards at the Lincoln Monument. There were incidents like a mother forgetting her wallet and the lady in front of me swiping her card without a second glance in Tennessee. I once bought almost 50 boxes of girl scout cookies so this little girl could see a Broadway show with her troop. I once camped out in Colorado up near the mountains and watched the stars for almost 6 hours until I realized that I was laying down in front of an Elk! I-I saw things like the top of Pike's Peak- which took me eleven hours to scale. I thought of you the whole time, and I remember sending you a photo of myself from the top telling you that I could see heaven, and it looked like your eyes." Jane grimaced at how cheesy that sounded.

"I remember that, actually. I don't have the photo anymore- Daniel poured Juicy Juice on that one nearly two years ago. I never quite understood the meaning, but you looked so free of all your demons, I was so happy for you." Maura added quietly. She neglected to say how she'd set that phone as her wallpaper for weeks, maybe months, until Jane had come to visit one weekend and she'd deleted it on accident after realizing that having a photo of your secret love was not something she should be doing.

"I do, I have them all. I have every photo from my five-year journey saved to my cloud so I can look at them if I feel like running. I hope it helps me stay here, because I'm ready to."

"Out of all 60 cities and 42 states that I've been to, there's one moment that I will never, ever forget. Wanna know which one?" Jane taunted, sighing at the feeling of Maura's hands massaging hers.

"Hmm?" Maura muttered, lightly dozing against Jane.

"The moment you gave birth to Daniel. I know you don't remember much but Maura, you were so fucking beautiful in that moment, that every single sight I've seen has paled in comparison. I know you don't like to talk about it, because Ian wasn't there, but believe me when I say that I will never forget the sight of you two meeting for the first time It-it was like I finally realized what I could've had if I'd just stopped being such an idiot. I'm forever grateful that I could get a second chance at happiness." she stopped short before she let her emotions get the best of her.

"Oh, Jane." Maura said quietly, not able to keep her tears at from spilling. That admittance was the final straw, she needed to love Jane- she needed to like she'd needed nothing else. She pulled Jane's arms into her face and cried into her jacket. Jane finally let a few tears fall as well, letting her fears and negative thoughts get swept away into the river. They sat like that for about an hour until Maura started to shiver.

"Let's go inside, okay?" Jane kissed Maura on the cheek and stood up. She pulled her jeans down from where they'd bunched up and pulled down the shirt under her jacket. A hand reached out for Maura and helped the smaller blonde stand up as well.

"Close your eyes." Jane whispered.

"May I ask why?" Maura countered playfully.

"Just do it!" Jane urged, taking her Maura's soft hands into hers.

Maura nodded slowly and made a show of closing her eyes. Jane spun them a few degrees and looked up at the sky. There was no space between them, just their cold bodies pressed close.

"Okay, you can open them." Jane murmured.

Maura once again complied with the request and saw Jane illuminated in the moonlight like an ethereal angel. Jane dipped down and kissed Maura softly, smiling halfway through and giggling happily.

"I'm sorry I keep breaking the rules, but you're just so beautiful, I just can't process how someone could not realize that. It breaks my heart every time I have to leave so… I don't think I'll be leaving again." Jane kissed her nose and Maura blushed heavily. She wasn't used to this kind of doting or affection, it was nice and not unwelcome.

"Let's go inside Jane, it's late and we've had a long day. I really just want to fall asleep curled into you. It's been so long since I've had someone to sleep next to, especially someone who really loves me." just admitting that made Maura feel more liberated and free than she had in the five and half years she'd been married.

Jane smiled and placed one hand around Maura's shoulders and the other behind her knees. Before the blonde could figure out what was happening, she was being cradled to Jane's chest bridal-style and transported across the street. She swung her feet happily and kissed Jane's collarbone repeatedly.

They got to the front door and Maura jumped down and switched off the baby monitor. She unlocked the door and opened it. She flicked her phone open to illuminate their paths to the light switch inside. Before Maura could flick it on, she felt two hands sneak around her hips and rest on her stomach, fingers splayed over her sensitive skin. A small sigh escaped at intimate gesture, one which could have been happening for years if she'd made different choices.

"I'm going to take a shower, wait up for me?" deep chiseled words punctured Maura's exterior and struck her right below the left ventricle. The low seductive rasp of Jane Rizzoli was something so powerful, her kryptonite, that Maura could be rendered helpless in just a few syllables.

Unable to form a coherent sentence and even less willing to try, Maura nodded and walked towards her bedroom with Jane's hands still slung around her body. The limber digits tickled her ribs and pushed their boundaries with each step into the room. Jane snivelled at the thought of Ian sharing this room with Maura. He'd already had the grand prize, and neglected it. So, why is it fair that she had to fight for someone who couldn't even be hers? It wasn't, but she would never stop fighting for this woman, especially after every other person in her life had long gone.

Jane slid her jacket off and threw it on her side of the dresser along with her phone. She unzipped her luggage and pulled out her BPD athletics shirt and a random pair of cotton shorts. She walked into Maura's bathroom and stripped down quickly, tossing the jeans and shirt in the hamper hiding in the corner. She pulled a fresh towel down from the shelves and made a neat pile of textiles on the toilet. She turned the various dials in Maura's shower to her preferred setting and stepped into the warm spray. All the tension she'd built up since her last visit started to slip down the drain. Something about the simple luxury of Maura's bathroom mixed with the scent of shampoo that smelled like lavender and love made Jane feel safe and whole, something she revelled in whenever possible.

Maura slid the jeans and sweatshirt off and stuck her head in the bathroom to make sure Jane was already in the shower. After tossing her phone on her bed, she stepped in and dumped the casual clothes and her undergarments into the hamper. She checked on Jane once more, just to be sure she was still preoccupied.

"Am I that repulsive, or are you just scared of me naked?" Jane deadpanned in her usual sarcastic tone.

"Neither." Maura blushed and stared intently at the floor.

"Well, do I have a huge booger hanging or what? You're avoiding me."

"Jane, it's not you- it's all me. I can't bear to see what I cannot have without losing my resolve. So, I choose to avoid temptation wherever possible." Maura muttered and stole a quick glance at her raven beauty. Most of her was hidden by the frosted glass of the shower, but enough of the tanned skin showed to illustrate quite the portrait in Maura's over-stimulated mind. Jane laughed as Maura flushed a deep shade of crimson and bolted from the bathroom, neglecting to realize that she was also nude.

Maura catapulted herself onto the bed unceremoniously and grunted. The image of a wet, naked Jane was eternally embedded in her subconscious now. She rolled over and realized that she'd landed on the pajamas from before.. She quickly threw on the stretchy tank top and a pair of Jane's "Rizzoli" shorts from her softball days at BPD. Maura heard the tone for a new email and stretched to retrieve her phone from the other side of the bed. The slippery glass eventually gave way and Maura grasped it and laid back with the phone hovering in her face. She swiped the screen and punched in her code, ready to delete whatever junk mail she'd received. The Email she had gotten, however, was so unexpected that her phone came crashing down onto her face, hitting her nose and thumping against her head. She grimaced in pain and reread the email once more to ensure she'd gotten the correct idea.

[To: DrMauraIsles ]

[From:IFaulkner ]

Subject: Marriage.

Maura, I'm not sure if this is a response to the papers that I had sent to you a few weeks ago but if it's not, then I'll state it again here:

I request that we negate our marriage. I am unhappy because I see beautiful women here but I cannot act upon it. I know that you no longer love me and don't think for a second that I have been fooled by your lover's lack of attendance around me. I wish you the best, and I think that Daniel would not like a phone call from me before starting school, but kudos for the effort. I was just not cut out to be domestic like you Maura, and you weren't meant to be with someone as free as I am. I would appreciate a prompt reaction to my lawyer when the papers do arrive, I know you would most likely like to be rid of me as well.

Take Care,

Dr. Ian Faulkner.

Maura quickly locked her phone and pushed it off the the best hastily. It landed with a "thump" at the foot of the bed and the screen lit back up from the contact with the carpet. She saw her background, a photo of her son playing in the pool at the YMCA, and burst into tears. That email gave her permission to do everything she'd ever wanted to do. But, would it break apart her family? She had no one left: her Mother had passed 2 years ago and her father 4. Her other "family" had left as soon as Paddy was sentenced to death. She only had Daniel and Jane. Well, she had the Rizzoli clan, but Jane was not to know that she still kept in touch with them.

Oh, Jane would never forgive her if she knew that Maura still called her Ma once a month. Angela always wanted to know about Jane, she'd really left them (and her co-workers) hanging when she'd taken off nearly 5 years ago. No one other than Maura knew why, it was because the loved Jane too hard after Hoyt's attack and Frost's death as a result of said attack. Jane wanted to be left alone to sulk, then approached quietly. But the Rizzolis weren't exactly known for their silence or distance. So, Jane - in an effort to keep her mental state from crashing - had run. She'd run all the way to the corners of the United States and only stopped to visit Maura a few times a year.

Maura had moved into the outskirts of Boston to try and raise her child with little to no knowledge of the evils that happened in this world. She'd resigned her position, packed up her pride and her family, then tried to best to salvage what she could of her relationship with Jane. It meant the world to Maura that Jane would visit a city that she despised so much, just to see her little family… which had just gotten one person smaller.

"Hey, why are crying Maura?" Jane climbed onto the bed and hovered over the teary blonde's back. She put two warm hands on her cotton-covered shoulder blades, and proceeded to massage the blonde's back lightly.

"Ian emailed be back." Maura exhaled a shaky breath and began her tale again again. "Ian emailed me back to say that he had already sent me divorce papers, which is everything that I've wanted… but, it still hurts." Maura relaxed into Jane's touch.

"Is it your pride that hurts? You're an Isles, and they rarely get broken up with." Jane offered. Maura was too humble to ever truly put stock in her last name, but it was well-known that the Isle's name came with many perks around the East coast.

"I think it truly is just that, Jane. I appreciate your input, even if I don't like what it is." a small, curt laugh ended her sentence.

"Are you ready for bed, Maur? I can go check on Little Man and grab the monitor if you'd prefer?"

"I think I've got it, thank you though. I just need a moment, okay? I promise I'll be right back. My thoughts are screaming and I need them to be still and quiet. I'll take my phone and be back in less than 10, 'kay?" Maura slid off the bed and kissed Jane's hand that was still stretched towards her. Jane simply nodded and smiled sympathetically towards the blonde. She couldn't quite wrap her mind around why Maura was upset by this newfound information, but she also wasn't Maura. So, she never really would understand what it felt like.

Maura slipped into her house shoes and padded out the door. Right before she went around the corner, she swung herself backwards on the door frame, locking eyes with Jane.

"I do love you, Jane; don't think that's faltered. I just feel like the carpet was pulled out from underneath me, and I'm struggling to regain balance."

"Rug, Maura. You mean rug."

"I knew that Jane, I just wanted to hear your voice again." Maura smiled, her one dimple showcased by the moonlight cascading through the cracked curtains. She turned once more to leave but was stopped by Jane's voice.

"You know that I do too."

"Do what Jane?"

"Love you."

"...I know." the door shut quietly as Jane fell back onto the bed and let herself decompress from her long day. She opened her phone and brought up her browser to check something quickly. The bus route from Chicago was still loaded from earlier in the day and Jane then realized just how eventful today had been for the both of them.

Jane stood and paced around Maura's room, she was far too wound up to think about sleeping. She grumbled as her phone just refused to load the page that she hadn't looked at in years, so she sent off a quick text to Maura and headed to the blonde's office.

_My phone reception is shit and also hates your wifi. So, I'll be in your study for a second to google something. I'll probably be back before you get back, but don't think I ran please. _

_Okay, Jane. I'll be in soon. _

_Okay. _

Jane walked into Maura's office and laughed out loud. She gave the place a once-over and realized that her home office was laid out almost exactly like her office at BPD. She sat down and lifted the lid of Maura's laptop. While she waited for the computer to start up, Jane looked around the darkened office. There was a bookshelf full of things that no sane person would read for fun, a shelf with tons of photos and trinkets from Maura's life, and a… map. Right across from Jane's seat at the desk was a large 3 foot by 5 foot map of the United States. There were little pushpins all over with little scraps of paper attached to them. Jane picked up the one placed near California and read the paper.

_"__I have to run again Maur- I'll be back soon.  
>Love ya, See ya<em>

_Jane"_

Suddenly, it was like the damn broke in her mind and a tidal wave of realization flooded Jane's brain.

Every pin was a place that she'd been, and every slip of paper was the note that she'd left Maura in the wee hours of the morning to wake up to. She was no better than Ian, only she'd stayed in the United States every time she ran. The realization in itself reduced the woman to tears, what kind of woman was she to do something like that to Maura?

"Hurts, huh? To realize just how many times you left me without a goodbye- without a single word. You slipped out like I was just a one night stand you were ashamed of. I forgave you every time, Jane. Would you like to know why? It was because I could see your demons chasing you away from me every single time you realized that I was not yours. I would get a phone call, or a piece of mail for Ian, and you would bolt. I understand Jane, I think I do. But, it never made it sting any less when I had to tell my son that "Ann Jane" had left again." Maura came up behind Jane and put a cold hand over her tank top on the small of her back. Jane flinched at first, but relaxed into the touch when she realized that Maura meant nothing but comfort.

"Is this a map of where I've been?" Jane felt approximately four inches tall at this point. She hadn't really been faced with how far and frequently she'd gone in her five years. The only states not punctured by tacks were: Alaska and Hawaii (they were obviously a bit far), Utah (who wants to go to Utah?) and Kentucky (also, why would anyone want to go to there?)

"I started it when Daniel started to realize that you weren't coming back for a bit and would get quite upset. So, we would find out where you were, and look it up on the map. We'd put a pushpin in there and then I'd teach him a little about that city or state. Eventually, he got accustomed to a geography lesson every single time you called us. Strangely enough, he's never once asked where Ian was. Even stranger, I also never cared to ask. I guess that should have been my first clue when he didn't volunteer that information." Maura explain to the best of her abilities. She had made an executive decision to not speak of the crippling feeling of insignificance that came with each pin that was pushed into the paper map.

"I'm so sorry, Maura. I've-I've never once stopped to think about how my running could affect anyone else. I was a fool, a selfish fool. I-this is a bit much for me right now. Can we sleep on it and talk in the morning?" Jane asked, emotionally spent.

"Of course, I'll be in bed whenever you're done with whatever you needed to do." Maura motioned to the laptop, which was still idling at the login screen. Jane kissed Maura's blonde waves once and rubbed a loving hand over her cold shoulder. She was damn lucky to have this woman by her side, even after all the bullshit she'd put her through.

Jane watched Maura leave the room and sat back down at the desk. She logged into the computer and brought up the URL that she'd committed to memory by now.

**Hero cop missing after Partner's death. **

_Jane Rizzoli, 37, a decorated Detective for the Boston Homicide Department has been officially declared a missing persons as of 5:00 this morning. She was last seen at the Police Department leaving for the night. Sources tell us that she experienced an emotional breakdown after the death of her partner Detective Barold Frost, 32. Frost was a casualty of serial killer Charles Hoyt a.k.a "The Surgeon". Rizzoli was hospitalized with serious injuries after an encounter with The Surgeon that left him and Detective Frost both dead._

If you have any idea where Detective Jane Rizzoli has been, or have any indications of her whereabouts, please…..

She stared at the picture of her next to Frost and audibly sighed. She needed to let her pain go; she needed to stop running from it all. Nothing would fix the past, but she could fight like hell to make sure her future was happy and full of love.

She closed out of the tab and shut Maura's laptop. With one final glance at the map on the wall, Jane shut the door to Maura's office and slipped into bed. Maura was barely awake after her long and eventful day. Jane rolled over and wrapped her arms around Maura, guilt-free for the first time in her life. Soon her life would be how she'd planned, she just had to make sure that she stayed on top of her game and thought of how her actions affected her family.

Her family.

Damn, that had a nice ring to it.

* * *

><p>"Hey Bud, slow down! I wanna give you a smooch!" Jane chased after the five year old, who seemed hell bent on leaving Jane and Maura in the dust outside his Kindergarten room.<p>

"Sorry Mama, I just wanna go to school so I can be smart like you!" Daniel rushed back and gave his mother a big kiss and a hug.

"Love ya, see ya, Mama. Love ya see ya, Mama Jane!" the small boy threw his arms around the tall brunette, who was too taken aback to reply.

Maura looked over and Jane and knew, she just knew, that "Mama Jane" was here to stay, no more running around the U.S. trying to escape a past that was haunting her.

No more running away.

No more.

"Love ya, see ya Little Man." Jane whispered with a low, wet voice.

"Come on Mama Jane, let's go home. I suppose the privacy will do us well. We have a whole afternoon to ourselves, and I foresee a Mama Jane massage in my future." Maura wiped a lonely tear from Jane's face and tried to not cry herself at the apparent transition from "Ann Jane" to "Mama Jane" in their family. Their family wasn't perfect, and it surely had quite a history, but it was everything that Maura had hoped and dreamed of.

And that's all she could ever ask for.


	81. Katy Perry - Unconditional

**you guys were so sweet that I wrote an epilogue for my three shot :) thanks for the kind words!**

"Happy Birthday to you!"

"Happy Birthday to youuu!"

"Happy Birthday, dear Daniel!"

"Happy Birthday to you!"

Daniel smiled into the video camera that was bobbing up and down in front of his face. He waved and giggled when Jane slung her arm around him and gave him bunny ears for the camera. Maura looked on as her son and partner looked so happy to be outside in the early springtime sun. They'd set picnic tables outside in Maura's yard and invited as many people as they could think of. It wasn't every day that the man of the house turned six years old.

"Come here mama! I want to be in the video with you and Mama Jane!" her son waved at her from across the yard. Maura nodded in agreement and rose from the wooden bench she'd been perched on. She glided across the lawn and waved at the gaggle of children huddled around the cake like ravenous birds.

"Come here Maur, we don't have any family videos yet! We need a photo too!" Jane's eyes shone with delight - a complete turnaround from six months ago when she'd decided to stop running and stay with Maura and Daniel, her family.

"Janie, I don't know how long I can keep these kids from rippin this shit apart- oh sorry" Tommy winced as he realized his verbal faux pas in front of the whole kindergarten class.

"Pay up, Uncle Tommy." Daniel held out his hand, silently chastising the grown man. With a defeated sigh, Tommy reached into his pocket and pulled out a banana laffy taffy. He surrendered the candy with wink and smiled at his sister, who pulled the boy into her lap.

Maura laughed at the scene in front of her. She sat down next to Jane and put her head on a strong shoulder. They looked at the cameras pointed in their faces and smiled, truly happy to be a family unit. But, as all good moments do, the feeling was crushed when Frankie Rizzoli decided that the other half of Jane's lap needed to be sat on. He had missed his sister in the five years she'd been distant. Their whole family would be forever grateful to Maura for giving Jane the mind and will to connect with them once more.

Tommy, who couldn't handle being bested in as comedic relief, decided his place was on Maura's lap so he could tickle Jane with her son as a human shield.

"AHEM!" Angela Rizzoli's voice boomed over the whole yard, making everyone freeze with wide eyes.

"I just want to say that I wish you the best birthday wishes, Daniel. I'm sorry that your Nonna hasn't been around until just recently, but I'm going to spoil you and the little one rotten whenever I can! Also, now can we please get a decent family photo?" she threw her arms up in the air overdramatically

"MA!" Jane yelled, her face turning red.

"What?!" her mother yelled back, throwing in a little head movement.

"What little one?" Daniel asked, looking at Maura, who was turning bright red at the sudden onslaught of attention.

"We hadn't told anyone yet! Good Lord woman, I told you forty-five minutes ago that Maura peed on a damn stick and it may have said she could be pregnant. Oh my god!" Jane rolled her eyes as her mother left her post from behind the camera and sat down on Frankie, who was already squishing Jane.

"Ma, I sw-"

"Say Cheese!" Angela yelled motioning the camera, which she'd set for a ten second timer.

"Wait what baby? I'm going to be a brother?"

"I think Tommy farted, Jane."

"Ma, your ass is squishing one on my...netherbits."

Click.

And that's how the moment that Jane felt true, unconditional happiness for the first time was captured forever.


	82. Dustin Kensrue - Pistols

this is sad and stuff. sorry.

* * *

><p>I am avoided.<p>

I am silenced.

I am unknown by most.

I have no conversations

I do not speak, unless spoken to first.

I am not picked, unless it is picked _on._

I bond with books, but people are wretched.

I am the one they speak poorly of.

I used to cheer and yell

I used to play outside

I quickly realized that was no place for me

I do not belong out there.

I do not shine, I am dull and matte

I am no better than most, but always far worse

I am best friends with those who do not have them.

I am the only one who speaks for them.

_I am, Queen of the Dead._

I am the one the living taunt

I am only appreciated by corpses

I do not give anyone the pleasure of my grief

I only give pleasure for solitary nights.

_I'm only good enough for one night._

I am radiant in my own mind

I am nothing to anyone else

I am loved by my best friend

I am an inconvenience though.

I am far too wordy

I make no sense to anyone

I am a grown up version of the little girl

I hope I'd never become.

I am the child who cried in the halls

I was the one no one glanced at.

I'm still the one who is overlooked.

I'm also still dreadfully alone.

I am Maura Isles, and you don't know me

I think it's for the best

I had a friend once, Jane.

The only friend I've ever had.

She never knew it, but I loved her very much.

I doubt she'd ever miss me, though.

She's got her own life now

Without me.

**Who inherits the throne, when the Queen of the Dead becomes one of the dead?**


	83. The Corrs - Only When I Sleep

**sorry if this is formatted oddly, I'm uploading it via my phone. Haha. This is pure fluff, yall deserve that much. Lol.**

* * *

><p>The sound of Maura coughing softly startled Jane awake. For last six months Jane's nerves had been shot trying to coddle and love her wife and their unborn child. She would have been on high alert as soon as Maura had become pregnant, but they hadn't found out until she was nearly 8 weeks. That's what happens when you have a naturally-thin frame and a stubborn streak like Maura Isles.<p>

Jane rolled over in her drowsy haze and lifted a single eyelid to check on her wife, just to be sure. Maura had thrown the blanket off herself again- most likely due to the fluctuation of her body temperature. Some nights Maura dressed for an outing in the Arctic, and other nights (like this one) she'd strip herself and lay bare to the world in a last-ditch effort to sleep comfortably.

The early morning sun was slipping through the curtains and pouring onto Maura's nude frame. Jane took a moment to just revel in the sight of her beautiful pregnant wife who looked so peaceful, something that rarely happened. The sleepy brunette peeked a dark, long leg out of the blankets and snagged the blonde's discarded blanket with her toe. Slowly she brought it up to herself and snuggled up with it. She knew from previous experience, that Maura would wake up shivering and have a hell of a time trying to get up and fetch it. Therefore, Jane took one for the team and had started to retrieve it when she could.

Maura's breathing hitched again, commanding Jane's attention. She wiggled around on the large bed until she was just mere inches away from her wife. With a loving eye, she studied the cherub features that looked so relaxed, so calm. It was a rarity these days that Maura was not rolling around and getting frustrated at the lack of positions she felt comfortable in.

A healthy blush stained Maura's freckled chest and neck, indicating that she was still slightly overheated. Jane moved closer and inhaled the smell of cocoa butter and vanilla- probably the lotion that her wife applied to her skin every night to avoid stretch marks. Nuzzling her neck, Jane blew softly and smiled when Maura bit her lip in her sleep. Jane moved her mouth a little lower and placed little kisses on a pale shoulder. Maura had complained almost every single day that she'd have to avoid the sun all through summer to ensure she didn't fall sick. So, her golden tan was replace by a light peach this year. Truly, Jane found it mesmerizing to see the light blue veins that seemed to become much more prominent as Maura's pregnancy progressed.

Jane snuck a warm hand out from her blanket and traced a light path from Maura's cheek down to her collarbone. After she laid a few kisses, Jane's hand continued its trek further down the pale chest. Her index finger trailed up her wife's alabaster skin, tracing the same veins that ran down over her stomach. She swirled around in soft circles, lightly teasing Maura's breast until she decided to move on. She wanted to be gentle, every single part of the pregnant woman's body was hypersensitive to any sort of feeling.

She made her fingers dance over the swollen stomach, jumping and kicking over a protruding navel. She did figure eights and wrote little phrases that only their child would feel. Secrets, poems, and little love declarations wove their way around Maura's belly, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake.

Maura moaned and shifted in her sleep. Jane jerked her hand back, afraid to be caught, and hurried to look like she'd been asleep. Her wife snorted once and groaned as she tried to get off of the bed. Jane grimaced at the obvious struggle her wife was having, but still decided to stay put. The blonde was stubborn, and always insisted on being independent even after she's started to really slow down.

She heard the bathroom door click shut and the water from the sink running. After a few minutes of inactivity, Jane concentrated and tried to listen for what was happening within their bathroom. Either the toilet was creaking again, or someone was...crying?

Jane jumped out of bed nearly falling on the floor after tangling herself in Maura's blanket, which she had forgotten about. She stumbled to the bathroom door, still not quite acclimated with walking around this early in the morning. She rapped lightly on the bathroom door to avoid scaring Maura.

"Maur-babe. You ok?" she mumbled, leaning against the cold, white door for support.

"I-I'm fine Jane, go back to sleep sweet girl." Maura's tone betrayed her words.

"Please babe, I gotta pee." Jane told a white lie. She did have to pee, but she really just wanted her wife to open the bathroom door.

The door opened quietly revealing her wife with dried tear tracks down her cheeks. She looked down in shame and stepped aside to let Jane in. When she tried to slip out, Jane placed a soft hand on her arm.

"Are you okay? I heard you crying."

"I- I'm just frustrated Jane. Nothing you can do about it." Maura blushed and looked at her feet, not truly wanting to delve into which type of "frustrated" she was.

"Do your feet hurt?" the detective noticed that the blonde was limping a bit, and switching from foot to foot.

Grateful for the change in subject, Maura nodded appreciatively. Jane stepped forward and placed the lightest of kisses on her wife's warm lips. She smiled into their kiss and knelt down. Maura looked down, confused, and cocked a sleepy eyebrow. Jane shook her head and laughed quietly. With a steady arm under Maura's thighs and another on her back, Jane lifted the blonde and carried her out of the bathroom. Maura looked quizzically at her wife when she laid her at the edge of the bed.

"I-err- I may have been...keeping myself busy with your body when you were sleeping." Jane admitted sheepishly, feeling guilty for working her wife up on accident. "I'm sorry, I'll fix it, I didn't think about the fact that you may have trouble…reaching certain areas?" she asked permission to continue her actions from earlier.

Maura nodded at her wife and laid back, thankful that Jane understood her issue without mocking her troubles.. She brought her knees up to try and make herself comfortable, almost mocking the birthing pose they'd learned in Lamaze classes. Jane's hands trailed over Maura's stomach, rubbing all of her sore muscles. She continued her circular ministrations, eventually dipping lower and lower.

She gently loved the blonde, taking extra precautions as to not cause Maura any discomfort. Jane leaned over her wife and placed a trail of kisses up and over the stomach she'd just massaged. As she stood at the foot of the bed, looking over her trembling pregnant wife, Jane was actually brought to tears at the sheer beauty presented to her. The sun had risen further, casting highlights and shadows on Maura's curvy body. She let a few tears escape as she slid up next to her wife and whispered loving phrases into her ear.

"You're so beautiful Maura, you took my breath away. The fact that you are carrying a child only amplifies that. I cannot get over just how attracted to you I am. There's probably some nature-filled explanation for the reason I am so aroused by the sight of my pregnant wife but for now, I'm just going to say it's just because you're so breathtaking. I know you hate how your chest is so sensitive and your hips are wider. But, that just means that I'll pay special attention to them and I have more space to love. Gosh Maura, I-I just can't even explain just how beautiful you are right now. With your hair messed up and your sleepy eyes, I just want to say that I'm so grateful that you're mine." salty tears of happiness trailed down Maura's face and she kissed Jane as lovingly as she could manage. Jane changed her technique: her goal was the ease her wife down, not tease. This was not a situation that was appropriate for anything other than gentle loving. Maura's breathing stuttered as she came undone in Jane's care, slowly relieved of the frustration that had taken over her body. The brunette helped her wife scoot back up the bed and covered her with the blanket she'd thrown off in the middle of the night.

Jane slid up next to Maura, who had turned to face away from Jane, and wrapped an arm around her shivering frame. She once again used her foot to reach for her blanket that was on the floor and managed to drag it up to the bed. She threw it over Maura and herself, pleased that her body heat hadn't faded from it quite yet. They quickly fell back asleep for a few hours, relishing in each other's peaceful presence until the clamor of their busy lives would rouse them.


	84. Green Day - Time of Your Life

**Sorry, this one's sad too. no death this time at least. haha. **

* * *

><p>"So...how do you want to do this?"<p>

"Amicably."

"I'll be mature about it, Maura. I-I just want you to be happy."

"I wish only the same for you, Jane."

Jane's downtrodden face tried to smile but failed. Dull, matte eyes quickly scanned the tri-folded paperwork on the table in front of her in a last attempt to stall the inevitable. She grabbed the offered pen and touched it to the line she needed to sign. She made one single dot and stopped, maybe they coul-

"Jane." Maura choked on the rest of her sentence and looked to the sky trying to will her tears away.. She felt the familiar tightening of her throat and the pinpricks of emotion in the corner of her eyes.. She had promised herself that Jane would never see her cry over this again. She closed her eyes, wishing that Jane would just make this quick and semi-painless. The emotions in Maura's chest were growing by the minute, it wouldn't take much more to break her forever.

"I just can't Maura. I- we are- we were just so happy! Last month we were talking about where we would go to renew our vows, and now...well now I we're talking about who gets what in our divorce. How did we get here?" Jane set the pen down and covered Maura's trembling hands with her own. The sound of their wedding rings touching sent shivers down their spines. Neither woman dared to remove the bands they'd picked out together. Doing that was just too real, too final for them.

Maura jerked back and her placid face contorted in a way that one would think was a smile. But, Jane Rizzoli knew what that face meant. It was the same sad gut-wrenching expression that Maura had used when her mother belittled their relationship, it was the very same sad smile Maura had worn for weeks after Paddy Doyle had been shot. It was the smile that Maura had had made love her to her wife for the last time. But, Jane hadn't paid enough attention to realize that Maura was sending her silent pleas.

"It's not something that one can predict. I just know that we want different things in life, and those things would tear us apart. I never want to hate you Jane. But, if I stay in this marriage, I know that I will. I already started to hate myself over yearning over things we'll never share. I- I love you Jane, more than anything else in the world. But, I need to love myself more than that and I will not budge on the matter." Maura's chin started to tremble. "I can't hate myself because then there truly isn't a single soul left on this planet to love me." she finished her thoughts with a whisper. Her temples started to throb, her erratic heartbeat pounding a furious thunder in her ears.

"I love you. I do. I just- I don't want kids, Maura. I- I'm sorry. I just can't be a mother and a detective. That's just now how I was built. I love you I can't see myself without you… can we still be friends? We don't have to even change our living arrangements. I can just go back to being a workaholic and you can be-"

"- a society forced recluse who hermits in a house that is far too big for her in _hopes_ that _someday _it will be full of life? A woman who has been scorned by all walks of life yet still loves them all selflessy? A wife who failed at marriage? I don't know who I'm _supposed _to be. That's my issue- I obviously wasn't meant to be a decent wife." Maura winced at the last part that she'd meant to keep to herself. It wasn't Jane's fault- they really hadn't discussed starting a family until they'd already said their vows. 

Jane sat there stunned for a moment. Maura Isles did not fail, ever. She was a good woman, a great medical examiner, and an even better wife. Jane had little to no complaints about her, which is why she was so shaken by the news

"You didn't fail as a wife, Maura. You were great- you **are** great. I- I only hope your next wife treats you better than I have." Jane let her facade crumble. She had to be the bigger person in this, she knew it wasn't for lack of love.

She looked directly into Maura's eyes and then it became clear: this wasn't about her. Jane played a minute role in this divorce, but she wasn't the cause of it. Maura was just unhappy, and that hurt more than anything else. She had vowed over home plate to keep this woman safe, warm, and happy. Well, in true Rizzoli style, she'd kept none of those promises. But, she would spend the rest of her life loving Maura, if it never amounted to anything.

"We should tell the others when this is done and over with. They should know that we are okay, and it's not going to tear anyone apart. I'll stay away for a little bit, Jane. They're your family, even if they insist on calling me one of their own." Maura exhaled slowly, trying to wrap her head around the whole situation. Suddenly, she was struck with a thought that nearly made her stop breathing. "Will they still love me Jane- your family? Have I truly ruined everything? Do I even belong anywhere?" Maura cried out, ripping her hands of of Jane's grasp and covering her face in shame. Never once had she realized how much she was losing by divorcing Jane. But, she still couldn't lie or sell herself short. She valued and respected the detective so much, that it felt wrong to tie her down in a dead-end marriage.

"They've always loved you Maura, even before you were my wife. The fact that you're just not happy, they'll understand that. I think they'd be more hurt if you kept it quiet from them." Jane reached into her pocket and pulled out her wallet. She reached inside and pulled out a tiny photo of them from their first Christmas as friends. A memento she'd kept after all of these years.

"See this? This is probably one of the best moments of my life, and we weren't even together then. If we can still make those memories, we'll be okay. Just promise me one thing Maura, please?" Jane quickly folded her wallet back up and set it on the table.

"Yes?" Maura's heart was beating so loudly that was surprised that Jane was audible at all.

"When you find them, the one that makes you truly happy, don't hide them from me. I want to know them. I do." Jane sniffed loudly and cleared her throat. "I still want to be in your life, even if it means watching you marry someone who isn't me. Even if you have little Isles and they speak fourteen languages while sipping tea pinkie up. Even if she calls your Maur and cooks you dinner, I still want to know them o-okay." Jane's normally husky voice was so clogged with emotion that she was becoming nearly inaudible.

"You are that person Jane, I'm very sure of it. There will never be a 'someone' in my life again. You are my person, I am your person. I am so sorry to do this to you, Jane, I really am. I just can't do this anymore. It's-it's like that song that you and Frankie sing during karaoke night at The Robber. Remember, everyone always thinks it's a love song. Especially when you sang it acoustic for me, the whole bar swooned that night."

"It's something unpredictable, but in the end that's right. I hope you had the time of your life: Jane sang quietly, the true meaning of words slamming into her heart like a 2x4. That was the final straw, she needed to sign these papers- she needed to free Maura.

"Oh." was all Jane could muster, still in shock from the true meaning of that song. She felt betrayed in a way; she'd always sung that tune with love and a certain fondness for a certain blonde. Now, it described her more than ever. . She inhaled deeply and grabbed the pen once more. She scribbled her signature on each page, along with her initials. She raised her watery eyes to look at Maura, who looked like the weight of the world had been lifted from her shoulders. She slid the papers back into the ugly mustard yellow envelope and slid them across the table to Maura's shaking hands.

"Thank you. I know it's hard right now, but we'll get through this. I- I just need some time." Maura stood from her stool and walked around the table to Jane.

"I know we will. This may sound lame but… I'd like to be Aunt Jane… you know, if the opportunity arose. If that's alright with you…" Jane stood up and met Maura halfway. "It's kind of early, but I just want you to know that you can tell me anything. I still love you Maura, and I always will. I-I can't see a future of mine without you in it. I- I can't.

"I think I'd like that, but ask me again in a few days. I need to take some time to myself. I'll be staying with my mother, and when I get back I'll move my things to the guest room. I still want you in my life, Jane Rizzoli, as selfish as that sounds. I don't know how to survive without you, but I don't know how to stay married to you."

"May I just ask for one last thing Maura?"

"I suppose it's only fair."

"Could I-I have a kiss goodbye? I would like one to remember, as selfish as it sounds" Jane smiled sadly her ex-wife.

Maura leaned forward and kissed Jane soundly. It was exactly like every other kiss she'd given Jane, and for that Jane was grateful. When it ended Jane slipped her ring off and handed it to Maura.

"Save this, okay. I know I'll never get it back, but maybe when ou-your kids are older, they'll want them." she placed her forehead against Maura's as their tears mingled together into a pool on the floor.

Maura sobbed against Jane's shoulder as they wept together. After a few minutes they parted and Maura looked at Jane one last time and spoke one last sentence before leaving.

"For what it's worth, it was worth all the while." she turned and left quickly, leaving Jane by herself in the large living room. alone

"It's something unpredictable, but in the end that's right. I hope you had the time of your life, Maura. I wish you the best." Jane whispered as she slumped back into her chair and held her head in her hands.


	85. Hinder - Lips of an Angel

**Thanks to everyone who helped edit this :)**

* * *

><p>"Hey babe, I'm gonna tuck in for the night. Wanna come with?" Casey stood from the sofa and looked down at me with hidden intent. He probably wanted to get laid tonight.<p>

"I'll be there in a sec, I'm just gonna feed Jo and lock up." I mumbled, intending to do neither. Honestly, I was going to call Maura and tell her goodnight and I didn't think that my fiance would appreciate the things that I planned on saying. It's not my fault that he was a jealous man and I happened be close to my best friend.

"Okay then, I'll see _you_ soon." he winked overdramatically while I rolled my eyes. He slipped off his house shoes and walked down the hallway. I tiptoed over and peeked around the wall. _Damn, _he'd left the door cracked. I paced around the living room for a minute weighing my options. I should just go outside to ensure my privacy. It was times like this that I missed living alone.

I quickly made a decision and grabbed Jo's leash. "I'm taking Jo outside for a bit." I yelled down the hall, slipping into Casey's freshly discarded slippers and one of my zip-up jackets.

"Okay." Casey called back defeated. He was most likely disappointed that I wasn't picking up on his "signals" but, I really needed to do this.

I clipped my pup onto her leash and opened the door. My phone burned a hole in my jacket pocket, it was pathetic how often I yearned for this.

Walking down the front stairs, I checked back once more to ensure that Casey had stayed put in our bedroom. He wasn't really the type to snoop, but this is one thing that he could not find out about. It is _my _issue and_ I _would take care of it. My fingers played with the hard rubber of my phone case, picking at the charger port. I'd long torn the piece off with my nervous habit, but I still made sure to annihilate the remaining nub.

_1...2...3..._

I mentally motivated myself to hurry and make that call. Without reserve I swiped my phone open and hit the "talk" button on the first number in my recent calls.

"Hello." she answered, seemingly amused. She knew that I would call. She always knew, usually before I did.

A muffled, "Hey," is all I could muster. Just the sound of her voice made me shiver.

"Are you still thinking about it, about us?" Her voice was just so fragile, I hated to tell her that I was such goddamn chicken shit, that I'd never even tried to bring it up with Casey.

"Yeah." I breathed into the phone. "I still do. But, I don't know how Casey will take it. I mean, we weren't exclusive at the time. We were on separate continents when _it _happened" Jo tugged on her leash, indicating that she'd prefer to walk instead of idling on the sidewalk in front of my house. I started the slow trek around the block, Maura's sad sighs of distaste still radiating from my phone.

"I won't be a side _fling_ Jane." I could hear her disgust for that word. "I refuse to be number two on your priorities. I'm sorry Jane, but he needs to know and you need to decide. Sooner rather than later, I suggest."

"Maura, I-"

_Click. _

Well, I'd shot that to shit. I rounded the last corner and texted Maura goodnight in hopes of softening the blow of my indecisiveness.

_Goodnight Maura, I hope I didn't upset you. _

_Goodnight, Jane. I'm not upset by your lackluster attitude towards our prior sexual activity. I'm upset by the fact that you refuse to end a relationship that you have no desire to be in._

I had started to pluck out a response, but another text came swiftly interrupting my passive-aggressive rant.

_You're far too good for him. But, the longer you wait to speak to him, the more I think that you may just like settling for him._

_Maura. It's complicated. I'll do it soon, when the moment's right. _

_I want to believe you, Jane. Goodnight, I'll speak to you tomorrow morning. _

_Night Maur. _

I squeezed my phone's case in frustration. Why did I have to be such a freaking pansy? I made it back to my door and picked up Jo. We walked inside and I unclipped her, throwing her leash onto the couch. I discarded the jacket and slippers, quickly realizing that I was chilly. My phone made a halfhearted arch as it landed on the couch cushion. I spun around and walked towards our room.

_Well Jane, here goes nothing. _

"Casey?" I whispered to the dark hallway. I didn't want to wake him, but I _really _didn't want to spend another night away from Maura.

"Yeah babe?" He muttered as I walked into our room. I was too overcome by guilt to respond. So I just laid down next to him bed. I nuzzled into the crook of his arm and frowned at just how wrong it felt. Wait a minute, how wrong _I_ felt.

"I love you." He said quietly, trying to kiss my head.

_"__I love this Jane, being with you." She said, brushing her lips over my hairline. _

"I need you." His eyes widened as he rolled us over, making sure he was in control.

_"__I never realized just how much I needed you." Maura whispered into my ear as she spooned me from behind. We always laid side-by-side at first, it was all about exploration; the fun stuff would come later. _

He grabbed the bottom of my shirt and ripped it off, exposing my torso to the chilly room.

_She fingered the hem of my ribbed tank top- she refused to call it a "wifebeater"- and ghosted her fingertips over my abdomen. I could see my own muscles flexing at the loving touches I was receiving. _

Rough lips pushed into mine, making our teeth crash together almost painfully.

_"__You're cute." She whispered, pulling on my shoulder until I was flush with the sheet. Maura hovered over me and kissed me softly, making sure to show affection to my nose and chin as well. _

Rough palms groped at my breasts like a hound after meat. I shrugged away from the unpleasant sensation against my sensitive skin.

_"__You're more than cute, Detective. You're actually quite sexy." Maura winked at me as her warm fingertips tapped each one of my ribs on their trek to my less than sexy sports bra. "Even when you wear these." She pulled the elastic back and let go, laughing at the noise I made when it snapped back into me. She lifted my shirt with a devious look and fiddled with the elastic once more. I braced myself for another impact, but was delightfully surprised to feel warm lips kiss the reddened skin. _

I shook my head and rolled off the bed. "I'm sorry Casey. I-this, what you're doing, it's not right. It's just..well, wrong." I laughed sadly at my ridiculous reasoning and grabbed a change of clothes out of the dresser. I hopped around while Casey hovered over my empty pile of blankets.

I threw the mismatched garments into my gym bag that sat in the corner, near my gun and badge. I quickly packed those and ran out into the living room. I grabbed my phone from the couch and hoisted a sleeping Jo into my arm. I snagged her leash and my charger as I worked my way towards the door. As I was walking out the entryway and onto the stairs with my menagerie of belongings, I heard Casey yell something along the lines of; "Whatever, bitch." So, my bitch and I walked right out of the front door without a second glance.

Once I'd loaded my pet and bag into my unmarked, I sent a quick text to Maura.

_I did it. _

_Would you like me to send you an audio clip of a round of applause? _Maura obviously was having none of her bullshit tonight.

_I'm headed over. Can I sleep on your couch? _I already knew the answer Maura would give.

_Jo may sleep on the couch. _Nevermind, apparently Maura had been paying more attention to sarcasm that I'd initially thought. Was I going to be banished to the guest house to room with my overzealous mother?

_Does that mean…?_

_It means that there's a spot in my lonely, yet very warm bed on this chilly night. You're lucky that I have an affinity for women in need, Jane Rizzoli. _

_I'm sorry that I put you through this. _

_I'll speak to you when you get here, I don't want Boston's finest to be texting and driving. _

I set my phone down and smiled at the pup, who'd fallen asleep in the front seat.

"We're going to Maura's, girl. Aren't you excited?" I asked far too positively for someone who was driving at two in the morning.

A snort and a flick of her ears meant that Jo had heard everything and couldn't be bothered. Well, at least_ someone _in my vehicle was excited about this. The smile couldn't be erased from my face as I started the car. I was going to sleep next to Maura Isles tonight, and I was damned lucky to be able to say that.


	86. The Dixie Chicks - Traveling Soldier

"Are you nervous?"

"Kind of…a little"

"Which part is bothering you, Emilie? Are you nervous about presentation, or the fact that Mama isn't here with us to give it?" Maura smiled down at her daughter as they walked through the front doors of the school. The young blonde just blushed and looked at her shoes, an obvious aversion tactic that she shared with her mother.

"Neither Mom, I just don't enjoy it when all attention is on me. Every time someone yawns or laughs, I take it too personally and start to get nervous. What did Mama call that?"

"Stage fright, perhaps?" Maura supplied, knowing all too well what it felt like to be publically ridiculed by her peers. It may have been 30 years ago, but the shame and hurt that she'd been subjected to was very present in her mind.

"Yeah, that's right. I- don't take this the wrong way Mom, but I just think that sixth grade is a little bit too old to have a 'show-and-tell'. The last time I did that, was seven and my greatest treasure was my Hello Kitty footie pajamas." They stopped in front of her classroom. Maura softly grabbed her daughter's hand and stroked her knuckles with her thumb for a few seconds.

"I remember those, actually. You looked so cute, but they had terrible traction," the mother sighed at just how quickly her daughter had grown up. She never quite understood why her mother always lamented that Maura had raised herself and grown before her very eyes. After raising a child for 12 years, she now knew just how Constance had felt.

"Are you ready Freddy?" Maura joked.

"Really? Mom that phrase hasn't been used in like 20 years." They laughed and opened the door and entered the classroom. All of the desks had been moved to the side of the room and had been replaced with little plastic benches, just big enough for three people. Emilie clutched her folder tight against her chest, nearly folding the edges.

"Well, Emilie and her mother are here folks. Let's give 'em a warm welcome and wait for the rest of the class." Emilie's teacher, Mrs. Tipton, waved them into the room and motioned towards one of the benches. She propped her feet back on her desk and clicked the play button on her internet radio. Eighties pop music filled the small classroom as children and parents alike relaxed as much as they could on their hard seats.

Maura didn't miss the pain in her daughter's eyes as they sat on the bench, only taking up part of it. She looked around the classroom and saw that most every other child had two parents on either side of them. There were a few stragglers with only one parent,, but it didn't make the pain in Maura's chest recede one bit. She represented two parents right now, and it hurt to subject her daughter to that. She just hoped that this presentation did more to help than hurt Emilie.

"Mom, I have a friend in this class. Her name is Melody, she's a new girl. She just moved here from Michigan last month. Can she sit with us when she gets here? She's gonna be really sad," Emilie looked wide-eyed at her mother. She hadn't realized just how tough today would be for her friend.

"Of course, why will she be sad?" Maura's brain went through the reasons that this girl would be upset on Parent Day. Did her parents do something that society frowned upon? Maybe they were into illegal things. She did not want her daughter befriending a child of a cartel.

"It's a secret, but I know you'll keep it. Her mother and father got in an accident last year in her old town, and they died. She lives with her Aunt Carmen, who didn't even want them. She's really mean and won't even let Melody do any clubs after school and she makes her do all kinds of chores." The young girl sighed, obviously distraught for her friend. "That's why I never talk about her, because you'll want her to come over and she can't. I'm sorry."

"Well, chores are certainly not a bad thing. You do chores all the time! Also, I would love to meet her, but I respect her Aunt's rules," Maura reminded her daughter. It was slightly unsettling to think that Emilie hadn't spoken of this girl before. She'd always prided herself on having an honest and open relationship with her daughter, so this news was a little out of the blue.

"Yeah, but she had to do all the housework and care for her little brother while her aunt watches television." The situation became a bit more complicated once Emilie had explained it further. Melody would sometimes come to school in the same clothes as the day before and would fall asleep in class because she was up all night with her baby brother.

"I see," was all Maura could muster. She glanced around again and noticed that quite a few more families had straggled in. Mrs. Tipton rose to start the class when the door opened once more. A small girl with jet-black hair pulled back into a ponytail walked slowly into the crowded room. The final bell rang, startling the girl, as she raised her arms in defense.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Tipton I-i had to walk here and there was construction on-"

"-It's alright Melody, you're okay. Just have a seat," Mrs. Tipton knew more than she let on, and did not want to cause a scene for the poor girl. Melody looked at the full room with tears in her eyes. Maura realized that every bench was taken other than theirs, which was hidden by most of the crowd. Of course her Aunt refused to come to Parent Day, she always complained that Melody and her younger brother, Miko, weren't her children. So, Melody would be alone today. Seeing all the happy families made her miss her Mother and Father ever more than normal. Her eyes welled up as she looked to the crowd for help.

"Come over here Melody, we saved you a spot!" Maura called at the girl, who seemed to be on the verge of breaking down. She looked puzzled at Maura until Emilie jumped up and waved. The timid girl smiled back and walked over to their bench. Maura scooted over to the very edge so that her daughter could sit next to her friend. Now, with three people on their little bench, they felt full, happy. It was no longer so apparent that they were missing parts of their family. She had been so concerned with the backlash that her daughter could face being the child of a same-sex union that she'd neglected to think about children with no parents to attend.

"Alright folks! I'm Patricia Tipton, _Mrs. Tipton_ to your wondrous lot of children. Today is Parent Day here at Garfield Elementary and I hear that we have a few awesome speeches prepared. So, I won't keep you busy folks here forever, and I have good news! No, they didn't let you guys off work," she joked to the parents. "but they did decide to let the kids out early so you can take your crazy kids home with you when this whole she-bang is done." She bowed when the room giggled and flipped the projector on. With a theatrical wave of her hand, the lights dimmed and the crowd quieted down.

"Who wants to go first?" the teacher glanced around the room for hands. After just a moment, a tiny hand shot up in the back.

"Okay Dani, you're up first!"

A little girl with two matching braided pigtails and a bright pink dress was escorted to the front of the classroom by her parents. They were dressed in matching green scrubs, with a few identification badges on their hips. The girl pushed a button on the computer that was set up next to the projector and a PowerPoint slide appeared on the whiteboard. It was a family photo taken at her tenth birthday party, or so said the caption underneath.

"My name is Daniella Roberta Felicia Josefina Vasquez, and these are my parents Manuel and Margarita Vasquez. The work in the same hospital and they met the day that I was born. My daddy actually helped my mommy deliver me. He says we are his angels from heaven," Dani beamed up and her parents and flipped to the next slide. My momma was born in Mexico City in 1973. She's oooold!" The girl winked and her mom faux punched her in the arm.

"My father is named Joseph Martin Jr., he's named after my Papi, his daddy!" she tapped the screen as the last slide appeared. It was a photo of her mother and father both holding her as a newborn.

Maura took note of the fact that the girl had said her parents had met when she was born, indicating that his man was not her biological father. It was easy to see how much they all loved each other. Genetics be damned, he was her father. Maura's spirits lifted and she realized that not every family here was pristine, like she'd assumed. She watched as the small family accepted their thanks and sat down. The two adults hugged their child and the whole room gave them a round of applause.

"Emilie, do you want to go next?" Mrs. Tipton asked from her desk. She nodded encouragingly towards the pair and smiled when they seemingly agreed.

Maura looked at her daughter and stood up, smoothing out her dress. Emilie grabbed her folder and followed her mother to the front of the class. She dragged a desk over from the wall and laid her report out. She lifted her head to her peers and with a shaky voice started the lines of the speech that she'd been practicing for weeks. She held up a hand to Maura, who looked wondrous in a simple black dress and a pair of heels. She had dressed down a bit for this occasion, she was not the presenter therefore she did not need to stand out.

"Hello, my name Is Emilie Louise Isles and this is my mother Maura Isles. She was born in Boston, and she's lived in seven different countries. This right here is a photo of my mama Jane Rizzoli but s-she's not here," her voice started to waiver. Maura placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. She knew this would be hard for her daughter, Jane had been a tough subject for quite some time now.

"My mother Maura is a pediatrician, she helps kids when they're sick. Sometimes it's kind of annoying, but it's mostly helpful. She's the reason that I didn't need stitches when I fell out of my treehouse," Emilie giggled at the memory. "She met my other Mama one day at the hospital where she works fifteen whole years ago. My mama Jane, whenever she came home, used to visit the children's hospital with her dog Jo Friday! She always said it was because she was lonely and the kids in the Peds wing were the nicest people on the planet," Emilie read as she shuffled through the slides.

"Hello everyone, it's a pleasure to be here. I appreciate that all of you are here to listen, I know it isn't the most enjoyable thing to be doing on a Friday," Maura greeted the class, taking her cue from her daughter. She knew that when she was 12 years old, she was fascinated by these types of discussions. Unfortunately, that usually indicated that the rest of her peers did not share the same enthusiasm.

"This right here is my Mama Jane," Emilie held up the standard military headshot of her mother. "She is a Staff Sergeant in the United States Marine Corps, and she's-she's not here right now," the young girl's chin started to tremble at the sight of her mama's photo. She truly missed her mama, and it hurt more and more each day without her.

"She's currently stationed in Kabul, with about two and half weeks left in her tour. She's been travelling between here and overseas for almost twenty years, and we haven't seen her in almost 16 months, which is the longest we've ever gone without a visit" Maura finished for her daughter. She also missed Jane terribly. Jane was reaching the end of her second ten year sign on, and Maura was prepared to ask Jane to retire. They'd spoken briefly about the subject but had yet to make any final plans.

Emilie sniffled a bit and started the slideshow that she'd prepared. It had taken over a month for her to scan in all the old photos starting when she was a baby all the way until just a few years ago.

The first slide was of Jane and Maura in their twenties, hand in hand in front of the hospital's garden. Jane was in her uniform, and Maura was in her teal scrubs. They looked tired, but very in love. The whole class smiled at the photo.

"This is a photo from one of the first times that Mama Jane and mother met! They-" she stopped to look at her mother, who was staring at the slide with tears sliding down her face. She hadn't had any clue how many photos Emilie had used, and it was becoming apparent that she hadn't quite prepared for the memories that would flood back.

"Your Mama had just told me that I was the most beautiful thing in the garden, and then asked me out for coffee! It's funny because your grandmother Angela actually took this photo because she wanted photos of Jane in her uniform. You know how your Mama is with pictures," Maura smiled down at her daughter.

"She hates 'em! She will seriously break your camera if you try and take a picture of her without asking first!" Emilie turned towards the class looking very serious about her warning. She clicked a slide and the second photo appeared. This one was Maura bent over a baby Emilie, who was grabbing onto Maura's index fingers and she tried to walk.

"This photo is me walking for the first time. Apparently after this, my Mama Jane got so excited, that she asked my mother to marry her!" Emilie laughed as Maura blushed. The memory of her daughter walking to Jane and then, not a moment later, Jane kneeling down, was one of the fondest memories of her life.

"And _this_ one was taken on my fourth Birthday! I remember that I cried until I got a Power Rangers cake." she laughed with her mother.

* * *

><p>"You're sure this is okay?"<p>

"Anything for someone who has served this country as many times as you have, Mrs. Rizzoli."

"Oh, well thank you kindly Mr. Korsak, I really appreciate you guys lettin' me do this," Jane removed her hat and nodded respectfully to the older man. He just nodded in return and opened the door to the empty classroom.

Jane turned around and held up a hand, signaling that he was no longer needed. Mr. Korsak winked at her a closed the door. Once she had her privacy, Jane set her pack and hat down on a desk. The walls of the darkened classroom were littered with elementary art projects and motivational posters. It had almost killed her trying to not tell her family that she'd gotten back early. She had originally just planned to surprise her daughter as school, but was elated to see Maura's car in the guest lot.

She went over to the door that connected the two rooms and peeked through the glass. There was row after row of children and parents, all paying attention to her wife and daughter up front. Seeing them in person after 12 months of slow Skype sessions and texting was truly beautiful.

"Okay, Rizzoli, you can do this." Jane jumped up and down to try and loosen her muscles and quell her nerves. She took one last look at her family through the frosted glass and pushed open the door separating them.

* * *

><p>"This is a photo from when my Mama and my Mother decided to finally get married. They waited until I was four years old to 'make it official' and I got to be the flower girl. I loved it because Mother and I had matching dresses. Mama Jane was in her dress blues, everyone told her that she was so lucky. "<p>

"I remember that pretty well. You both were the most beautiful sites I'd ever seen." Jane struggled to finish her sentence. The emotions of seeing her wife and child were almost too much to handle. "I'll never forget seeing you two looking like angels straight outta heaven."

"Mama!" Emilie dropped the papers she was holding and ran across the room to Jane, who was still dressed in her fatigues, fresh off the plane home. Jane knelt down as her daughter barreled into her full speed. Jane tried her best to keep her tears at bay, but once she stood up and made eye contact with her wife, she lost it. Maura looked so beautiful, so...real. Her family was no longer a screensaver, or a photo message. They were here, right in front of her.

She scooped up her daughter and placed happy kisses all over her face. She ran over to her wife and added her to their embrace, placing a small kiss on her cheek. Maura shook her head and grabbed the manila folder that had held Jane's headshot and held it over their faces. She kissed Jane deeply behind the folder and smiled into the kiss when the classroom broke out into applause. Not a single person had a dry eye at the loving reunion. Emilie took the folder from her mother and squeezed out from between them, her face slightly damp from happy tears.

"Hey beautiful, you're quite a sight for sore eyes." Jane mumbled into Maura's ear, placing her hands on Maura's waist. She tried her best to be appropriate in front of a class of sixth graders, but was becoming more and more difficult.

"I've missed you, Jane. We've missed you so much," Maura whispered, too emotional to speak any louder. She placed a single hand on Jane's cheek and blushed furiously. She had forgotten that they were standing in front of their daughter's class.

"Well guys, this-" Emilie motioned towards the two women who were still crying and hugging each other. "-is my family." She turned and hugged the two women again. "and I love them so much! They're the best family I could ever ask for!" she bowed and hit the exit button on her project. Suddenly, their teacher stood up and addressed the class.

"Well, I know I promised this would last until at least lunch, but I'm going to go ahead and call this day over. I can think of a few people who would appreciate the break to get reacquainted." Mrs. Tipton pulled a handkerchief out of her dress and wiped her tears.

A murmur of agreement rippled through the crowd as they all stood to leave. Melody just looked uncomfortably at her shoes. She was in for a long wait until school was normally over. If she came home early, her Aunt Carmen would wonder why she'd left school and assume she'd been bad. So, she would most likely sit outside on the playground for a few hours, reading her new library book.

"Mama, can we go to brunch"? Emilie beamed at her mothers.

"I don't see why not. It's early enough, there's still some places serving breakfast," Jane looked towards Maura, who nodded in agreement. She looked over her daughters head to poor Melody sitting by herself on their bench.

"Jane, I think we might have a guest stay with us too. I'll explain later, but we need to have her home by three." Maura whispered into Jane's ear and nodded towards the small girl. Jane nodded in understanding, if Maura said she'd explain later, she trusted her judgement. Maura bent down and whispered something into her daughter's ear. She patted her on the back, urging her towards her friend.

"Hey Melody, I-I'm going to go get breakfast with my family, if you'd like to come along," Melody looked like she was going to decline, so Emilie quickly added, "Mama says we can drop you off close to your house at 3."

"I think that would be okay," she replied. "So long as my Aunt doesn't find out."

"Trust my Mama, she's never let me down," Emilie whispered as they walked out of the classroom. "Never ever. She won't let anything happen to you, I promise."

"Okay." the two girls smiled at each other and skipped out of the classroom, Jane and Maura trailing behind them.

"So what's with that girl, everything okay?" Jane asked suspiciously.

"I think it is for now, I truly think it is." Maura watched her daughter turn and wave them on. She waved back and Jane tightened her grip around her waist.

"I truly think it is."


	87. Bryan Adams - Everything I do

**Here's a funny one! I laughed the whole time I was writing it, so I hope yall laugh while reading it. The next fic is gonna be sad so I figured I'd give yall this first :) it's inspired by the fic "Seasick" by Sybilia. That one is so funny, I can't even explain it. Check it out. :D!**

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><p>"Annnnnnnd it's a beautiful day for softball on this spectacular 60 degree Boston morning we're having, right folks?" a too-cheerful voice blaring through an oversized megaphone made everyone in the stands cringe and wince in pain. It was the first Softball Sunday for the ladies league, and <em>everyone <em>was reeling from their festivities from the night before. At a painful 10 a.m. the ladies representing The Pink Taco from the gay bar downtown and Murray's Muff-Divers from the Division One Cafe were meandering onto the field to warm up their arms...and minds.

"Jesus fuck Boo! Do you have to shout so damn loud? It's not like we can miss you!" Jane grumbled motioning the short woman's megaphone (her weapon of choice- she loved softball but could never quite catch on. So, she settled for the title of "permanent cheerleader") that was shaped like a rainbow dildo- a hit at first. But, after two measures of the Boo's banter, every single soul on the field was ready for a nap, or a beer. The 4 foot 9 stout woman seemed to make up with her lack of height with a booming voice that not a single soul could tolerate.

"Sorry Rizzoli, I gotta wake your droopy tits up! Look, even your girlfriend managed to be coherent!" Boo flung her short arm out theatrically towards the stands where Maura Isles, clad in her matching "Rizzoli #69 Muff Diver" jersey, was sitting on the benches showing all the softball wives something on the iPad.

"First off, Maura isn't my girlfriend. Second, get that damned dildo out of my face. I don't enjoy snacking on tuna like the rest of you!" Jane smacked the phallic speaker out of her face.

"We-eh-eh-ll, someone's got their pubes in a braid!" Boo rolled her eyes and waddled over the group practicing over in left field.

"So, you aren't going downtown with the doc?", a shrill voice barked into Jane's ear, making her drop down in a push-up position out of habit. Boni, Jane's instructor in the academy and fellow Muff-Diver, threw her head back and roared with laughter. She ran a hand through her military-style crew cut and squatted down to the blushing detective's level. Jane looked up, making eye contact with the crotch of Boni's basketball shorts, and sighed. Slowly, in a tangle of limbs, Jane stood to her full height and looked around to see if anyone else had seen the embarrassing display.

"Naw, you're good Plain Jane, ain't nobody seen ya. It just tickles me pink- well _pinker- _to see that you still got your instincts in the right place, even if your ass ain't." the lewd woman coughed and spat something disgusting into the grass next to Jane's cleat. The detective looked into Boni's eyes and grimaced at the disgusting act.

"What do you care where my ass is been, coach? It's the only one on this team that hasn't seen your sheets" Jane joked back, poking fun at the woman's reputation for bedding team members like she was still a 20-something marine.

"Because, your tight little companion over there seems to be taking to Trouble quite well. I figure she'd be down for a round later. At my house. Body shots. Hahahah!" The woman laughed and slapped her own knee. She looked at Maura who was showing Boni's newest plaything, a bleach-blonde woman who smoked like a chimney and looked like she'd been cleaning them all day. Obviously, Boni had snagged this one during one of her drunken binges and had yet to sober up.

The sight of Maura, and prim and coiffed in her raunchy jersey and shorts that were too short for a softball game, talking to a woman who went by the name "Trouble" wearing a Tinkerbell shirt that was many sizes too big and a pair of shorts so miniscule that one might even be convinced they were denim panties, talking heatedly over something that still had Maura's attention on the tablet, made Jane laugh so hard that she feared cramping due to lack of oxygen.

"You really think Maura would get naked with your nasty ass? Hell no. She won't even wear the same outfit out if someone around her is wearing something similar, let alone sleep with someone who has bedded the entire lesbian community of Boston!" Jane picked her glove off the grass and backed away. She nodded to Boni to toss the ball that she was carrying- to warm up while they bantered like schoolkids.

They started a rhythm with each other, the satisfying sound of the softball smacking against the sweet spot of her glove slowly roused Jane from her hungover state. After a few more minutes of innuendo and half-hearted insults, Jane held up a hand for them to stop and jogged past Boni on her way to the dugout.

"Listen, Coach, just because I'm not a lesbian, doesn't mean that I can't see how gorgeous Maura is and how lucky I am that she'd come hang out with a group of hungover middle-aged repressed women." Jane admitted while walking into the fenced in area.

"Thatta girl, you'll go fishin in Maura's lake someday. Hopefully you catch a tuna and not a bass" Boni talked out the side of her mouth, obviously meaning her less-than-clean partner on the stands. Jane burst out laughing and waved the older woman away- she wouldn't understand why Jane was laughing at the idea of Bass crotchblocking Maura.

"FIVE MINUTES LADIES" Boo shrieked into her dildo and waved her clipboard around furiously. She also doubled over as their bookkeeper, but usually forgot about her duties to ogle whoever was up at bat.

"OKAY, BOO!" the entire squad of Muff-Divers and Pink Tacos yelled in unison. They all dispersed amongst their families and friends for the remaining few minutes until the game started.

Jane adjusted her sliding shorts, which felt like the inhumane girdle she was forced to wear under her dress for her first communion, and moved to sit next to Maura on the bleachers.

"Hey." she husked at an adorable looking Maura. The blonde and finally put her iPad away and had huddled into her flannel blanket like a child.

"Hi. It's a little chilly today Jane, I suggest that you stretch for approximately three minutes before running or quickly changing directions. I don't want to have to rub one out for you. " Maura looked confused when Jane blushed a deep red and covered the unknowingly sexual woman's mouth with her hand.

A warm, wet substance coated Jane's fingers as Maura winked at the woman and rolled her tongue over the salty surface of Jane's hand. Jane looked wide-eyed at the blonde and removed her hand, a lonely string of Maura's mouth juices still connecting the two.

"Hey, Jizzoli, tell your girlfriend that she can check my anatomy any day!" Boni plopped down next to her "friend" on the next level up and tried not to wrinkle her nose at the scent of stale tobacco and axe body spray.

"Shut up, Coach, I still remember that one time you decided you were going to be a lesbian chef on Creole night at the Taco! I wonder why no one asked where the cucumbers went?" Jane turned back to Maura when her coach gasped and left, bested at her own game.

"Jeeze Jane, even your teammates enjoy veggies, why can't you just indulge in some once or twice a week?" Maura chided her benchmate.

"If Jane enjoyed veggies as much as Boni does, she'd be constipated" Trouble muttered to no one in particular in between puffs.

"Actually, if you eat green-"

"IT'S A GREAT DAY FOR SOFTBALL! IT'S GAME TIME!"

"OKAY BOO!" a series of curses from both teams followed the howl of the now-perched bookkeeper.

"Alright ladies, let's make the Pink Tacos turn into the "Stink Tacos" ay-oooo!" Boni jumped around and pounded on her chest like a primate.

"Hookah, you're up! Milly and Molly are on deck and in the hole. Well one of them is, I'm not sure which is which" the coach laughed and the twins, who wore matching jerseys sans names. They prided themselves on being identical, and took every opportunity to fool whoever they could. This list included but is not limited to: Policemen, Bartenders, Secretaries, Telemarketers, their parents, friends, and even their own girlfriends occasionally.

"Okay." Hookah, actually a 30-something redhead named Louise, smiled and sauntered to the dirt to start swinging. Her dreadlocks were woven with little flowers that she'd picked before the game. If anyone asked her, she would mutter some speech about "Flower Power" and hug the daylights out of you.

"Who's that?" Maura whispered to Jane, who had yet to go back into the dugout. She felt...oddly secure sitting under a blanket with Maura on the bleachers. Maybe she'd forego the traditional Munch Brunch and stick around to cuddle and watch the men's league play.

"That's Hookah." Jane replied sarcastically. When Maura smacked her on the shoulder lightly, the brunette explained further. "We call her Hookah because she's high about 200% of the time. But, for some reason it totally helps her game. We think it's because she used to play fast pitch in high school, but never quite got the timing down for slow pitch. So, we just let her think that she's still swinging at 80 mph fastballs. Just watch." Jane bristled at the feeling of Maura's head on her shoulders, her blonde ringlets dipping into Jane's v-neck and tickling her cleavage.

"PLAY BA-" Boo's introduction was cut short by someone throwing their glove at the woman and knocking her backwards off the bench into Bev. Bev, the team alcoholic, just moved her Bud-Light in a koozie out of harm's way and gave a mighty thrust, propelling Boo the opposite direction over the back of the bench. When she was righted, the short woman turned around and winked at the woman who was whispering comforting phrases to her can.

"Thanks Babe, thought I was going overboard for a bit. You got strong hips, good for pushin' that cushion." Boo stood on the bench and began gyrating like an awkward child trying to hula-hoop for the first time.

"Yep." Bev said out of habit, too focused on caressing her drink lovingly. Her attention didn't even waver once the game started up.

"Balls in!" the umpire graciously known as ""Asshole" stepped up to the plate and took out his little brush. With a few flicks, the plate was clean and ready to be dirtied again.

The pitcher for the Tacos, a doctor at Boston General, did her little shimmy and let loose the first pitch. The ball floated through the air as the inebriated ginger's face morphed from sated to enraged as she charged the ball and swung as fast as she could as the speeding object. Her bat touched ball with a tiny "tink!" and eyebrows around the crowd arched as the little green ball went soaring over the fence.

"I-how-that can't be right." Maura pursed her lips and began to mutter numbers like biblical verses.

"Don't even try Maura, just let it go." Jane shook her head in warning. They'd spent many a night and 12 pack trying to figure out how Hookah seemed to defy the laws of science.

"You know I can't do that Jane. Oh, you'd better go! Stud Muff said you're in the ground!" Maura motioned to the coach.

"Stud Muffin? Did she tell you to call her that? Oh my god. She'd hit a new low. That's Boni or Coach, don't stroke her nasty ego by calling her _that_." Jane looked disgusted.

"Well, I generally respect people's wishes when they asked to be called something. It seems that you all have an affinity for baked goods, you _are_ the Muff Divers. Which muffin are you?" Maura asked innocently. Jane just shook her head and kissed Maura's cheek affectionately.

"Don't ask questions that you don't want the answer to." Jane whispered and joined her teammates in the dugout.

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><p>After three innings and a score still set at 0-1, the Muffins and Tacos were starting to regret their party from the night before. Exhaustion and dehydration were becoming more and more prominent, and Maura Isles had come prepared.<p>

"Next!" she called as another woman sat in front of her on the bleachers. She grabbed a gatorade out of the mini-cooler she'd brought with and a protein bar out of the box in her purse.

"Thanks Maura, I'm really glad that Jane has a lady like you." Milly (or Molly) looked lovingly at the doctor, who was enjoying being of service to Jane's team.

"Oh, well you're all too sweet." Maura smiled, completely missing the point. "I just took an oath to protect and aid, just like every other doctor." She smiled brightly at the woman, who just blushed and stepped off the bench.

Once all the women had been hydrated and had their turn at flirting with Maura, the game resumed. Jane was at bat for the second time, hoping to redeem herself from her no-swing strikeout.

"C'mon Jane! You can hit it! Hit it, Hit it!" Maura tried her best to refrain from any jargon- she still wasn't well-versed in the sport.

"Well we all know Jane's been trynna hit it since 2010, but look at where she's at now." a voice called from the bleachers. Maura. turned around to the crowd and defended her best friend.

"Well, Jane was on the team all throughout middle and high school, so I would think hitting it would be the least of her worries. My greatest concern is with her knees, she spends too much time letting them take the brunt of her actions. They're going to degrade if she keeps playing so rough." Maura frowned while everyone else burst into laughter.

"Goddamn, you're a riot Doc. Jane's lucky to have someone like you." one of the players Maura wasn't familiar with sat down next to her. She pulled a beer out of the cooler next to her and handed it to Maura.

"Well, I'm quite lucky to have her too. Do you mind if I clean up my stuff before I open this though? I don't want to forget anything."

The woman nodded and Maura started to pack her things back into her field bag. She had just finished as had just popped the cap of the beer off (like Jane had shown her using the bleachers) when she heard the sound of a solid hit. She looked up and saw Jane barreling towards first base. Maura cringed when she saw just how generous the brunette was being with her rounds around the base. Jane, ever the instigator, pumped her arms as she sprinted around third base.

Maura put a hand over her mouth as she saw the impending collision. She set the bottle back on the bleachers and jumped down to the grass. Jane slid into home plate while the pitcher from the Tacos dove to tag her out. Jane's cleated food caught the edge of the plate, causing her left knee to jerk up into her face. Due to the force from her knee, Jane's head also bounced back onto the dirt, filling her hair with rocks and sand.

A fireball of pain coursed through her body as the heavy pitcher landed directly on Jane. The ump walked around the two ladies, still knotted together, and bent over to clean the plate.

"You're out!" he yelled, right into Jane's ear. She tried to stand, but couldn't quite balance on her left knee. Right before she lost her bearings, she felt a body press into her from behind.

"Jane, lean on me. Let's get you to the bleachers so they can resume playing." Maura navigated them into past the dugout, and back onto her spot on the bleachers.

"Ay, Rizzoli, you doin okay? I saw you slide into Jabba over there. Not a smart move. Don't be a hero next time, maybe you'll actually score one way or another" her coach winked at her and waved at Bev.

"Hey Bev, put your aluminium wife down and go warm up. I'm putting you out in center, Rizzoli- you stay in the batting lineup, but I'm getting you a pinch runner!" she barked out to the women.

"Coach, I can play! I-"

"OH NO JANE RIZZOLI, YOU ARE NOT PLAYING!" Jane look utterly confused at Boni, trying to figure out if she'd said that when she felt a pinch on the back of her arm. Maura was red-faced and seething. The furious blonde stopped looking for her ice pack and stood eye to eye with Jane, who was pretty nervous. She'd never seen Maura this upset before, certainly not because of her.

"I refuse to let you injure yourself further. I actually need you to take your shoe and sock off so I can make sure you didn't dislocate anything, " Maura didn't even wait for permission before untying Jane's shoe and rolling down her sock.

"Oh look! Rizzoli's got 'Fuck Me Red' nails everyone!" the same woman who had given Maura a beer scooted down to examine Jane's foot.

"Shut the hell up, P.J. I can kick your ass!" the embarrassed woman snarled. With a roll of her eyes, the woman stood up and moved to the other side of Trouble.

"Jane! She was nice to me, don't be rude!" Maura chided.

"That, is P.J. don't ask what it stands for. it's gross. She's just trying to get into your pants Maura, just like every single woman here," Jane said, motioning to the entire park. Maura rolled her eyes and fished an ice pack out of her cooler. She put it in Jane's hands, and sat down next to her incapacitated friend.

"Not everyone who is seemingly pleasant to me is trying to bed me, Jane. Some people are just friendly and ki-"

"WHO HERE IN THIS PARK WOULD FUCK MAURA IN A SECOND?" Jane yelled, making the park stop.

The ladies on the bleachers all raised their hands, the Pink Tacos in their dugout all raised their hands, both teams in the field stopped playing to raise their hands, the old people walking around the park stopped to raise their hands, and the ump managed to raise his hand before the catcher for the Tacos pulled it down.

"Maura, look. Every single person in this park would, I told you." Jane looked pointedly around the park, nodding thanks to those she'd interrupted.

"PLAY BALL!" Boo yelled, still blushing after raising her hand to Jane's question. The whole park seemed to snap back into their routines.

"But, Jane. That's not everyone. You don't want to sleep with me, you didn't raise your hand," the doctor pointed out.

"I-I-that doesn't mean...whatever. I need a beer. Will you walk with me to the concession stand? My leg feels better already," Jane stood up and tried her best to avoid the fact that she's raised her hand behind her back.

"I guess I could. What's a good softball snack? I want to have an authentic experience!" her eagerness to learn about softball etiquette made Jane smile down at her friend. It was cute.

"Well, they do have footlongs at the stand. I'll bet you can't a whole one." Jane snorted at the image of Maura eating the phallic object in front of the crowd.

"Do I get a choice of breads?" Maura asked.

"It's not a sub, Maur. I meant a footlong hotdog!" Maura grimaced but nodded defiantly. They stepped up to the window, and a masculine woman wearing a nametag sporting the name "Bert" looked at them expectantly.

"Oh! Hello. I'll have a footlong with relish and black olives and a bottled water. Jane, what do you-Jane?" Maura looked around to see that Jane had vanished.

"O-kay, well that'll be 5 bucks," Bert took her money and walked to the back to make Maura's order. She took a moment to observe the posters hanging around the stand. Her favorite one proudly said "If you can take all 12 inches, _you're _the true professional". It was quite nice of them to compliment the fans too. Even if it was for unhealthy eating habits.

A cold feeling shot down Maura's spine and she jumped. Whipping around, she saw Jane holding three beers in her hands. She offered one to Maura, who just shook her head. The window to the stand opened and the biggest hot dog the doctor had ever seen was thrust into her face. Maura paled at how large it was and silently made her way over to the condiment bar. After some ketchup and mustard, she was ready to go. They duo made the trek back to the diamond just in time for the top of the fifth inning.

Maura sat down on the bleachers and scooted a bit to make room for Jane. She offered a the first bite to the brunette, who just shook her head and gulped down part of beer. Maura watched in awe as the olive skinned neck moved with the motions of Jane's drinking. A bead of sweat migrated from within Jane's sweaty hair down to her collar. Suddenly, Maura really wanted a beer.

She took a timid bite of the hot dog and decided that it wasn't half bad. But, there was no way that she could finish it. Jane laughed at her friend, who seemed more interested in figuring out what was in her food rather than eating it.

After a few minutes, Maura realized that the usual banter from the stands had ceased. She looked around and yelped. Every pair of eyes was trained on her and her food. Suddenly feeling self-conscious, the blonde held out her hot dog.

"Anyone want some?" she asked the crowd.

A chorus of "No!","keep going!", and "Oh God." rang out from the stands. Maura shrugged it off and continued to nibble at her lunch. Jane, who had missed the whole spectacle, kept motioning to the players on the field.

"Goddamnit, one of the twins is texting while in the outfield. What the hell?" Jane yelled, throwing her arms around in true Italian manner.

Maura was spooked out of her concentration of her lunch and jerked slightly. She ran her hand into one of Jane's beers and wondered if the detective would share.

"Jane, may I share your beer?" nothing.

"Jane? Jaaaane?" Maura called her best friend, growing more and more frustrated with each passing moment. Finally, she gave up and just grabbed the beer from Jane's grasp and downed a gulp.

"Hey, my-oh"

Maura had her head thrown back with her delicious pink lips wrapped around the neck of the beer. The sweat from the bottle was dripping onto Maura's freckled chest and disappearing into her cleavage. Jane tried to speak but her mouth just moved in silent pleas.

Maura looked over and jumped again. She'd been caught stealing a beer from Jane, that was one of the worst things one could do to a Rizzoli. It was a crime that not many would dare commit. She went to set the bottle in Jane's lap at the same time Jane went to remove the hot dog from Maura's lap. She wanted a bite, but had gotten _very_ distracted. Both sets of arms collided as Maura's hot dog landed on Jane's lap, and Jane's beer had flown all over Maura.

"Oh no! Jane, your shorts!" Maura tried her best to rub the reddish yellow stain from Jane's sliding shorts.

"Maura, your jersey!" Jane cried standing up. The whole stand starting to guffaw when the hot dog took it's time falling down Jane's front.

"Damn, Rizzoli's got like three inches on me!" one of the girls walking by cheered. Jane bent over and grabbed the dirty dog and tossed it towards the girl. She just let out a hearty laugh and kept walking past.

"Let's go to the bathroom and see if we can get this stain out of your shorts before it sets," Maura stepped off the bleachers and tugged Jane back towards the direction they'd just come from.

Once they got to the restroom, Maura locked the door behind them and whipped her jersey off. Jane yelped and turned red at the blonde's actions.

"Oh no, it's turning my bra brown. Jane, would you please help me?" Maura motioned to the back of her bra. She would have done it, but she was currently wringing out her beer soaked top into the sink.

"Uh, yeah," Jane managed to stammer out. She walked behind Maura and undid the clasps holding the two sides together. Maura shimmied out of the garment and quickly ran it under a tiny trickle of water coming out of the sink.

Maura turned around topless and put her hands on Jane's waistband. "You need to take your pants off Jane."

"Whaaa?" the command from the blonde had rendered Jane mute. Finally, after a few moments, Maura's intentions became clear and Jane quickly shimmied out of her shorts. Standing back up, she threw her shorts into the sink with Maura's top and bent back over to take off the skin tight sliding shorts.

"Man, taking these off is like the equivalent of throwing your bra off at the end of the day," Jane tried to best to avoid staring at her topless friend.

"I'm afraid that I don't quite know the ramifications of such actions, but I can imagine the relief I suppose." Maura grabbed the white shorts out of Jane's hand and tossed them into the sink as well.

"Now, we just wait." Maura sat down tentatively on the baby changing station and opened her bag.

"How long do we wait? There's gonna be a munch brunch after the first set of games at like noon." Jane sat next to her friend on the hard plastic slab.

"Just about twenty minutes, then we can take our clothes out and hang them out the window." Maura pointed to to tiny frosted glass window facing directly into the sun. "That should take about ten minutes, making us finish at about 11:45. Where's the brunch at?"

"The Pink Taco, I don't think Murray could handle all of these rambunctious lesbians in one spot." Jane took a moment to picture her Ma's boss clad in a Muff-Divers jersey with fake books slung around his neck.

"You know Jane," Maura started her chiding. "I wish you'd stop referring to the whole league as 'the lesbians', it's kind of rude. You're assuming things that, if they'd assumed about yourself, would be incorrect. I never did understand why you did decided to play on this league if you get so offended when people assume those things about you, Jane. It _is_ the LGBTQ league of Boston." she finished her argument.

"Well, actually Maura. They all, well...a few years ago, I actually dated P.J., that's why I got so upset when she started hitting on you." Jane said sheepishly. It wasn't that she'd hidden that part of her dating history from Maura, she might have outright denied it a few times.

"You've dated women?" Maura asked, seemingly unfazed. She nodded a few times and shrugged her shoulders. "Okay."

"What do you mean _okay?_ I- yo-you're not even bothered?" Jane was skeptical. No one had taken it this easily.

"Yes. I mean, it doesn't change our friendship at all. In fact, I might be a little more comfortable talking about beautiful women with you now. I used to hold back because it seemed to make you uncomfortable." Maura confided in her friend.

"Well, it doesn't make you, you know, want to cover up?" Jane motioned to Maura's half nudity. The blonde just looked down and shrugged.

"I don't mind, honestly. It's a western practice to be ashamed of nudity. I love my body, and I don't mind being nude around other women. I actually met my first girlfriend on a nude beach in France." Maura spaced out in a memory of how she'd spent her first two weeks in Paris as an adult.

"Wait, you've-you're-what?" Jane yelled, "You've been gay this whole time? But- I asked you! That's not fair!"

"I'm bisexual, yes. Why is that not fair? It's not like it affects you." Maura slid down off the bench and walked towards the corner of the bathroom, feeling suddenly vulnerable. It was quite unsettling to think that her friend would have a reaction like this.

"No, it really does affect me!" the detective grabbed their clothes wrung them out. She cracked the window and set them outside directly in the sun's path.

"How could it possibly aff-"

"Because I fucking love you!" Jane cried and stomped over to a stall. She locked the door behind her and sat down on the toilet, still clad in her underwear and jersey.

Maura was stunned into silence by Jane's admission. She sat for a moment, and thought of all the years they'd spent together. The late night dates, the movie nights, the ball games, the dinners, the holidays, and the time just spend hanging out seemed just so _right_ for them. Did that make them a couple? Maybe, to some it had seemed that way. But, to Maura they'd always been more than just a couple. They were Jane and Maura, Rizzoli and Isles. They were a high-functioning team. Could they work out as more than just friends?

"Jane?" Maura walked towards the stall and rapped softly on the metal door. When she was met with silence, she decided to have a conversation with the door.

"Well, I just wanted to tell you a few things. One of them is that I love you too. I can't be 100% certain that it is the romantic type of love, but I'm willing to give it a go. Another thing is that no matter what you ever tell me Jane, I'll always be here for you. You're my best friend, my LLBFF, and I take those titles very seriously. The last thing is, I think your team may have stolen our clothing.

"What!?" Jane ran from the stall towards the window where, sure enough, there was a beer and a tube of something called "nip gloss" where their clothes had been drying. A small note reading "see u at the munch" sat under the cold beer.

"Well, they certainly have a way of being persuasive." Maura chuckled. She stood on her tiptoes and placed a small kiss on Jane's cheek.

"I guess. Here, take my shirt. I'm at least wearing a sport bra. If I shimmy my underwear right, they just look like those tiny shorts the jogging girls wear," Jane removed her jersey and handed it to Maura. The black fabric strained a bit around Maura's bust, but Jane had to admit it did look pretty nice on her.

"We'll talk about this later, okay?" Jane whispered to Maura as they left the bathroom and headed towards Jane's car. Their conversation was interrupted by a few gawks and even more catcalls as Jane looked down at herself and realized just how short her underwear actually was. The amount of torso that she was showing made for quite the crowd favorite.

"Okay, but when we do, can you please be wearing a shirt? It's kind of distracting," Maura took this chance to let loose her own whistle and ogle the woman next to her.

"I think I can manage that. Now, let's go stuff our faces at the Pink Taco." they both laughed at the innuendo behind that statement. Maura nodded in agreement as they headed back to Jane's car.

They had a lot to talk about, that's for sure. But, no matter what the outcome was, Maura would always remember her first softball game fondly.


	88. Sarah McLaughlin - Angel

This one is sad. Sorrynotsorry. I'll maybe write some fluff next. Who knows? Muhahaha. Thanks to the people who helped me with this. :D 

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><p>"Oh shit! Maura, we forgot the beer on the shelf!" Jane Rizzoli pounded her hands on the steering wheel in frustration. "What am I gonna bring now? Goddamnit." She glared at the red traffic light. She had been so focused on getting in and out of the crowded store full of last minute Fourth of July partygoers that her contribution to the traditional Rizzoli cookout was long forgotten. Damn. There was no way in hell that she was going to turn around and head back into that hellhole.<p>

"Relax, Jane." Pale cheeks flushed rose as her passenger chuckled at the childish outburst. "There are quite a few gas stations on the way to Angela's." Maura pressed a hand to her wife's thigh, one of the gestures they'd shared since first meeting. It was a silent act of comfort, one that suited the brooding detective well. She smiled happily at Jane and made little circles with her thumb against the denim. Jane let her hand drift towards Maura's baby bump. She found the small kicks and warm skin soothing in the most maternal of ways.

She mimicked Maura's comforts by swirling her fingertips around the navel protruding through the soft t-shirt. Now in her seventh month of pregnancy, Maura found her belly button had become her biggest concern. She'd hidden it for weeks, claiming she'd felt hideous. Jane, always ready to make her wife swoon, had spent the next week kissing the spot and rubbing it affectionately. It was amazing how Jane could turn a flaw into something Maura cherished. That's what Jane did though; she turned people from their worst into their best.

"Okay," Jane replied, calmly. "We'll stop at the 7-11 on Tremont, that one has the nicest bathroom, in case… you know." She turned up her nose at the thought of any personal business to be done.

"Jane, my urination is something we can speak frankly about. It happens to everyone." Maura shook her head and laughed at her wife's discomfort. She could swear like a sailor when she was with the boys, but, when it came to the changes that were happening to Maura's body during pregnancy, Jane shied away like an embarrassed teenager.

"Whatever," Jane smirked as the light turned green. She accelerated slowly, her arm protectively over Maura's midsection. It was the little things, like Jane subconsciously defending her family, that made her feel so safe, so loved. It was a relatively new feeling for Maura Isles, and she was thankful every day to whoever had graced her with this beautiful life.

She smiled and looked out the window as they passed the commons. A crowd had already formed for the annual fireworks display and the jubilant gathering always put the normally-placid medical examiner in a great mood. Something about the camaraderie coupled with the celebrations made her heart soar. She lifted her hand from her stomach and put it out the window, making small hills and jumps in the air as they drove to the gas station. They slowed as they approached another red light, only to speed up once it turned green.

Jane hummed in satisfaction; she always enjoyed the trivial things, like having the light turn green while still in motion. She popped her gum and adjusted her sunglasses. Secretly, she was still pissed she'd forgotten the beer, the beer that was her secret for getting through these family parties. Even if she'd done almost everything her mother wanted, the woman still found numerous things to hound her about when it came to starting a family.

Jane kept her irritation about the beer to herself, though. They'd left the store quickly as Maura's feet had started to aggressively swell the week prior, and Jane knew that standing for long periods of time was becoming more difficult as her pregnancy had progressed. She made a mental note to ask Susie, the crime lab's senior tech, to place chairs around the morgue. Of course, her wife would notice immediately - she had every square inch of her workplace organized to perfection - but Maura would assume Susie was just being a good assistant, instead of Jane being overprotective.

The gas station finally appeared and Jane maneuvered the small sedan as close as possible to the door. Once parked, she looked down at her gun and badge she'd removed once she'd left BPD. She debated internally on whether she needed to carry them and make everyone nervous, or if she'd rather get in and out without someone asking her if their neighbor's dog barking was illegal.

"Take them Jane," Maura nodded towards the center console. She probably wouldn't ever admit it, but she felt safer when Jane carried her service weapon. The badge, however, was just a guilty pleasure, Jane's swagger was more prominent when she wore it.

"Are you sure? I mean, I know we get stopped a lot when-"

"I'm sure. Let's just get the beer. We're going to be late!" Maura pointed to the dashboard clock that read 3:45 p.m.

Jane quickly clipped her gun and badge to her belt as they walked into the store. The brisk change in temperature was a welcome relief from the humid Boston summer. Maura, uninterested in Jane's beer endeavors, looked at the various ice cream bars they had in stock. She opened the freezer and smiled in delight. In her current condition, the cool burst of air was a welcome relief. Lazily, she drew little shapes in the condensation on the door, as she tried to decide which treat she wanted.

Jane was currently wondering if she should bring a six-pack of overpriced bottled beer (that her brothers would surely steal), or the generic canned beer (which was easier to share). The convenience store's normal selection had been greatly diminished to either end of the spectrum due to the holiday. Suddenly, she shivered as she felt Maura press a cold bottle of water to her neck. She turned around and looked at her wife's armful of goodies. Realizing that Maura intended to buy enough for everyone at the party, she gave her a quick kiss and motioned toward the counter. She was just about to set the six pack of beer down when she heard someone shout her name.

"Ay! It's Detective Rizzoli!" A familiar, handsome man in a grey business suit walked up to Jane and held out his hand.

"Carlos! Woah! You look great! Wow, it's been what… four years?" She stared in disbelief at the man in front of her. She hadn't seen him since he played a crucial part in taking down one of the Northeast's largest drug rings. He was a friend of Rondo's that she used as a CI for the better half of a stressful year. The last time she'd spoken to him, he told her that he was about to become a father.

"Yeah! A lot has changed since, Detective. Have you seen my son, Emilio? He's three years old already." He showed Jane a few photos on his phone of his son at different ages. Jane, suddenly feeling quite maternal, grabbed Maura's waist and pulled her close.

"This is my wife, Maura. Please excuse the mass amount of ice cream bars she has. We're heading to a rather large gathering. I mean, now that she's eating _double time,_ she could probably knock those out. But, they really are for everyone there." she winked as her wife rolled her eyes. 

Carlos laughed and shook Maura's hand politely. The ever observant blonde noticed the wedding band on his left hand, and smiled brightly. Jane hadn't volunteered much information about her former CI, only that he'd been trustworthy and never failed her.

"You're married as well?" Maura smiled when he showed her a photo of his wife and child.

"Yes I am, got hitched last year. This is my wife Maribella. We've kinda been together for almost ten years. We had a rough patch when… well _she_ knows when," he motioned to Jane, who just shrugged and waved the memories of the past away. "But we're doing great now."

"Well, hey what are you here for?" Jane asked jovially. It was nice to see someone climb up from their rock bottom. Maybe the forgotten beer wasn't the worst thing to happen to her today.

"Just some smokes," Carlos shrugged and nodded at the worker at the counter. "I tried to quit, but I had bigger things to conquer first."

"I don't judge." Jane smiled and waved to the spot in front of them in line. "Go ahead then. We could be here for a while." Her gaze floated towards Maura, who had left their conversation to inspect the shelf of half-priced Little Debbie snacks.

"You sure?" he asked. When Jane moved back a bit, he nodded appreciatively.

"Marlboro mediums in a box." He showed his I.D. to the clerk and swiped his card at the kiosk. He turned once more to Jane and sighed.

"Hey Jane, for what it's worth, I'm sorry," he shook his head and started to pack the box against his hand.

"Sorry for what?" Jane questioned. Maura turned around from behind the man and held up a box of Cosmic Brownies. She laughed at the sight of her wife bogged down with sugary treats and wondered if she should snap a picture for some post-partum giggles.

"Jane, I think I want these t-"

BANG!

Within seconds, Jane had drawn her weapon. Carlos, her friend and former CI, had just killed the store clerk in cold blood, the poor man's blood and brain tissue having splattered across the cash register.

"I-I gotta provide Jane, I gotta feed my kid," Carlos pleaded, pointing his gun at her. The weapon hovered right over her heart, smoke still curling from the barrel.

"Carlos, what are you doing? You just killed a man! Why are you- what did I do?" Jane cried out. With her gun still trained, she looked around frantically, trying to see if Maura was okay.

"I tried Jane. I tried working like all my brothers do. I just can't do that. I am not gonna be a construction slave! I need to feed my kid OKAY?" He punctuated his last sentence by wildly swinging his weapon.

"I understand, Carlos! I can help you. Just give me the gun. Please?" Jane Rizzoli had never pleaded with a man, not once. But, when her pregnant wife was standing behind an armed gunman, with a box of treats as her only shield, she put her pride aside. It wasn't only her safety on the line; it was the wellbeing of her entire family.

"You know I can't do that," he replied calmly. He'd seen all the cop shows. Hell, his cousins had _been_ on the cop shows. He knew what to expect from her. She didn't wanna help him at all. She just wanted to go home and fuck her rich pregnant wife. That's what cops did; they did the same shit that street kids did, but they had a fancy badge, so it was okay.

Carlos swung around and pointed the gun at Maura, who raised her hands and backed against the wall in fear. The expression on her face reminded Jane of the time her wife had confronted her mother over housing her criminal father. The fury in her expression scared Jane to death. Maura was a mother defending her child. In nature, mothers were deadly if provoked. They would protect their young at any cost, and Jane knew that Maura would sacrifice anything to save their unborn child. Her eyes narrowed as she tried to steadily move in on him while he was turned around. She made it two steps closer and then Carlos grabbed Maura's arm and pulled her close, jamming his gun against the side of her head**.** The impact from the weapon left Maura slightly dazed and off balance, too vulnerable to defend herself.

Mere steps away, Jane switched tactics. She had to be careful - Carlos wasn't thinking clearly, and he hadn't gotten the money he'd hoped for. He was in control, and, clearly, he was capable of anything. She reached over the counter and grabbed the till that was still open from the halted transaction. Furiously, she grabbed as much money as she could and threw it on the ground at his feet. If he wanted money, that could happen. Jane just wanted Maura safe.

"Think of your son, Carlos. Think of little Emilio, sitting at home with his mom. What's he gonna think when his daddy doesn't come home? Do you want him to grow up like you did, hating his father for same mistake_ your's _made?" Jane's facade was crumbling as she looked at Maura, trembling in fear and holding her stomach protectively. Her wife was petrified. Carlos laughed hollowly, a sound that made the normally solid detective shiver.

"You think that's why I hated my dad, because he was stupid enough to get caught?" He swung his arms around, nearly moving the weapon from Maura's head with each rotation. Jane watched as he yelled about his father. Obviously, there was more benign disgust than Jane originally anticipated.

After thirty seconds of yelling incoherently, Carlos looked at Maura and smiled.

"You love your baby, no?" He whispered into her ear.

Maura nodded, too frightened to speak. With a shaky hand, her captor moved the gun from her head and pointed it at her wife, who still stood barely a meter away.

"Say you don't love her," he urged.

There was a heavy silence while Jane tried to process the command she'd been given. She would never say something like that to her wife, even she knew that Maura would understand. She could never say something so vile towards the mother of her child.

"No."

"Really? How cute," Carlos mocked. He moved his weapon back to Maura's head and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Say it, wife. Tell her you don't love her." Maura trembled when she felt the cold barrel pressing against her temple. She wasn't worried that Jane would be hurt by her words - they knew each other better than that. But, Maura couldn't lie and that could be a problem.

"Maura, it's okay," Jane whispered and hoped that her wife understood. Honestly, Maura could say anything as long as they made it out of there alive.

"I-I can't," Maura sobbed, knowing that no matter what she said, someone would be hurt. What kind of human being makes people suffer this way? How could she tell her wife that she didn't love her?

"Do you love your wife?" He snarled at the blonde, putting his face so close to Maura's that she could smell the menthol on his breath.

"Yes." She kept it short and sweet.

"Do you love your child more?"

"What kind of fucking question is that, you bastard?!" Jane screamed, knowing the psychological damage being forced to answer such a question could cause.

"Answer me! Do it!" He bashed Maura's head with the gun, making little bits of light parade her vision. She froze - was this man asking her to choose between her wife and their child? Of course, Jane would sacrifice herself for either one of them, just as Maura would do the same. But to choose? That was ridiculous. A life without Jane wasn't much of a life at all. But, losing this child would destroy them both. How could she be in charge of who lived or died? Why would he ask her this? He was a father. She shook violently and held her midsection to shield their baby from harm. Maybe if she could just save them both, they could live on without her.

"Five seconds and I shoot your wife." He a dropped his hand and rubbed her stomach in mock affection. The gesture was deeply intimate, and made Maura feel vulnerable and filthy.

"I-" the blonde went limp in Carlos' grasp. He looked at Maura in disgust.

"What the fuck?" He dropped her limp body to the ground with a sickening crunch. He used his boot to push her flat on the ground. Maura hit her knees and fell forward, landing front-first on the cold tile floor.

"Vasovagal," Jane managed to stutter out. Carlos bent over, wide-eyed at the unconscious woman and looked back to Jane. He really just wanted to scare them from talking and grab his money. His lawyer could get him out on bail for robbing the place no problems. He might even be able to get away with shooting the clerk. Murdering a pregnant woman, however, was a lost cause.

"Fuck this! I wasn't trying to_ kill _a pregnant lady! Shit!" He shook his head and hopped over Maura's body. Quickly looking around, he grabbed the money off the floor and started out the door. The wife and mother in Jane wanted to let him leave, but the blue line ran strong through her, so she took aim and shot Carlos in the leg as he was turning the corner.

Jane took out her phone and quickly called 911. She ran her hands over Maura's body, looking for any injuries. There was a bruise forming on her hip from where she'd hit tile, but nothing else. If only Maura was conscious, she could ask her what to look for in terms of fetal trauma. She kissed her wife's face repeatedly, thankful to finally have her safe.

After she established that Maura was all right, Jane walked over to the doors. She saw Carlos a few feet away, leaning heavily against a wall, smoking a cigarette, a red stain forming on his grey pants. He looked serene, but Jane knew her shot was dead on. This man was not walking anywhere soon. Ducking back inside to regroup and collect her thoughts, Jane told Maura she loved her and raised her weapon. Quietly, she walked back to the door. Once she hit the Boston heat, a foul odor made her gag. She squinted and saw the gas nozzle a few feet away, locked and pouring gasoline onto the parking lot. The stream had made it all the way to her shoe, and was pooling at her feet. The gravity of the situation hit Jane as she shifted into action, relying on instinct. Carlos looked over and her and smiled, taking a long drag of his cigarette.

She raised her gun and he laughed. She wouldn't risk the fumes catching fire to shoot him.

"Next time you go down on your hot wife and kiss her stomach, remember what you ruined to get there. I have no family. I sold them all out. I am the only person in my family not in prison! I can't even go into my old neighborhood to visit my Grandmother without dodging knives. I worked my ass off for you, and I got shit in return. My wife's a crackwhore and my son has fetal alcohol syndrome! What kind of life is that?"

"I-"

"Save it, Detective. Save it." Carlos opened his lighter and looked at Jane. His eyes were dull, dead. There was no hope left in him, and he wanted nothing than to ruin those who'd wronged him.

"So this _is_ personal? You weren't going to rob the gas station to feed your family?" Jane yelled.

"Nope, I recognized you from the corner. Perfect timing on your part, _Detective_," he spat. He held his lighter high in the air, and Jane knew exactly what he was going to do. 

She dove back into the building just as Carlos threw his lighter into the gasoline. With two long steps and a desperate lunge, Jane covered Maura's body with her own, bracing herself for the pain. A wall of fire ran from the pump all the way up to the door and shattered the glass, spraying shards inside and covering them in the flames. Jane crouched lower and whispered "I love you."

She cried out in pain as the flames reached her and burnt the ends of her hair, making her stomach retch at the smell. Jane accepted that she was going to die in pain, but it was worth it if she saved her wife and baby. She felt her jacket melting onto her back, causing the skin to tighten and burn. She heard Maura moan and kissed her hard to keep from screaming. Maura and their baby had been through enough, seeing her in pain would be too much. The noise of the fire became distant while the sprinklers in the ceiling put out the flames on her back. She locked her muscles and let go, hoping it would all be over soon. 

The cold, musty water slowly roused the pregnant woman. With heavy eyelids and sore muscles, Maura tried to figure out her location. Where was she? Smoke burned her eyes and the smell of scorched flesh made her gag. Were they still in the gas station? She felt around, first to her stomach, then to her tender right side. A sob managed to escape the petrified mother as she began to panic. She moved her hands behind her to the floor and pushed herself into a sitting position, leaning heavily against the counter. She had a choice to make, a heartbreaking one choice. But first, she had to find her wife.

"Jane!" Maura yelled, coughing aggressively as she inhaled grey smoke. She moved her hands around and tried her best to tell where her wife was located. Once she found Jane's face, she leaned up and placed a single kiss on her nose, the only place that she could reach.

Once the flames were extinguished and the smoke started to clear, Maura could see Jane's face more clearly. The detective's face was ashen, contorted in a painful silent yell. Her normally beautiful skin was coated in a layer of soot and grime. With a strangled cry, she slid out from under Jane who, in a mix of pain and shock, trembled and convulsed. She stood and wobbled on unsteady legs. Maura's stomach heaved at the sight of Jane's marred back. The blazer and shirt, that the blonde remembered buying just a month before, had melted into black bits over charred and damaged skin.

When her medical instincts kicked in, Maura tried her best to find something, _anything_ to aid Jane's burn. She was a doctor; she could do this. This, however, was not _just_ a patient. This was the rest of her life, her soulmate and the mother to their child. This was more than just aiding someone in need. This was saving her family. Her thoughts were fuzzy; she was probably suffering from a concussion. After limping around aisles of charred cardboard and melted plastic, Maura noticed the ice bins toward the door and hurried over to them. Avoiding glass and simmering pieces of building, Maura reached for the handle and cried out when it scalded her hand.

"M-M-Maura…?" Jane whispered, softly.

After hearing her wife's strained voice, Maura ground her teeth together and lifted the lid once more. She tried to her best to ignore the searing pain in her hands and hoisted one of the melted ice bags out of the chest. The bag of chilled water was heavier than Maura had anticipated, throwing her off balance for a few steps. Once she made it to Jane, she fell down on her knees and tore at the bag, eventually ripping it open and throwing it over Jane's scorched back. The sound that the water made when it hit her wife's back was like throwing butter on a skillet.

Maura once again fought the urge to vomit at the sight of her injured wife, who was half crouched on hands and knees as if trying to protect her still. She slid down the counter, exhausted and struggling to breathe as she wavered in and out of consciousness. As she tumbled towards the darkness, she heard sirens approaching. With a final caress of her abdomen, Maura let her body rest. They'd be saved soon.

_I have a 40 year old woman with what seems to be third degree burns, tell BosGen to prep the burn unit. _

_This one seems about 29 weeks, she needs help. I'm not hearing a fetal heartbeat. We need to get her to an O.R. as soon as possible. _

_She's seizing! I need that morphine! _

_We need to get this baby out of her! Her body can't take it!_

_Is she stable to flip? Her b.p. is dropping!_

_What's our e.t.a.?_

_Tell Dr. Robbins that we have a child at 29 weeks without oxygen for approximately three minutes with potential smoke damage. _

_There's a body in the other bus. I think its a 30 year old male. I'm not sure he's gonna make it, looks like he got the worst. _

_Holy shit! That's Detective Rizzoli! My father works with her. Oh shit that means-_

_Tell Dr. Robbins that baby Isles is the child coming in. She needs to know. _

_CLEAR_

_CLEAR_

_DAMNIT!_

_CLEAR_

_...Jane? _

_She's awake!_

_Why am I numb? Where's...Ja_

_..._


	89. The Pretty Reckless - Under the Water

Sorry for the delay in updates folks :) Here's a little Rizzolitry to help.

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><p>I am boisterous. Crass. I am a mess.<p>

I am full of furtive glances and raspy commands. I am a leader by nature, with a messiah complex by nurture.

I am dark, hidden. Yet I cling to life to pull me free. Never once do I thank the blonde chain that tethers me to reality, I assume it's known. I am nothing without it

Of my lonely, cumbersome thoughts, only phrases ring out. Negative curses and immature quips degrade the relationships I hold dear. Lies and false pleasantries permeate the ones I do not respect.

I am a stallion, charging through my tangled life. I am graceful in a handsome way. My coat is dull, unkempt. I do not care about myself. I care only about freedom. You cannot confine me.

Others have tried, failed, and tried again..I am not one meant for lifetime love. I prefer intervals, it gives ample time to plan and recoup. Why exploit the weakness that I carry when hiding inside myself is so much easier?

I did not plan this, and I will regret it forever. That I failed my team, my family, my friends. But not myself. How can you fail yourself, when you've no goals, no expectations? I am bringing another soul into my meager life.

She is my center, my light, my anchor. But, if I emotionally detach from the basis of my existence, I will start to realize the sad truth that perhaps she is at her best when I am not present. Focus. That's what I need to do. For I am more than a single bodied storm. Due to my carelessness and disrespect for myself, I am the leader of a two person civil war.

I am not prepared to see the lights dull in my home within her eyes. I cannot be responsible for ruining the greatest blessing to this universe. So, I will take my quiet leave and hope that her life doesn't crumble beneath her because I am a cracked foundation.

I am Jane Rizzoli, and I need to lose everything I have. Every solitary thing I have worked tirelessly for, in order to see everything that I need. Even if it's too late.

She is Maura Isles, and she needs to watch me leave so she can begin to live for herself.  
>She deserves the best, and she is the best. So I will keep an eye on my salvation,<br>while she keeps herself together in these trying times that I have created.


	90. Lady Antebellum - Need You Now

_"Don't get mad when someone else starts to appreciate the person you took for granted. What you won't do, someone else will" was the quote given to me by MissToastie to fic. So, here goes._

_p.s. we're getting to the last few chapters! It should be finished by the time R & I comes back on :)_

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><p>"H-hello?"<p>

"Maur?" Jane's voice was uncharacteristically quiet.

"Jane? Wh-are you alright?" Maura, having been pulled from a deep sleep, shook her head to try and clear her mind.

"N-not really. I-I don't want to explain right now. But, can you come get me please? I didn't want to wake you, but no one else will answer," she pleaded. Maura recognized desperation in her voice and quickly sat up in bed.

"Of course I will, Jane. Where are you?" She put Jane on speaker while she ran around her bedroom. She grabbed some appropriate pajamas and ran downstairs.

"I-I'm at Mass. Gen. They won't let me go unless someone picks me up, and I don't want to be here anymore." Jane's discomfort was very obvious.

"I'll be there as soon as I can, Jane!" Maura hung up her phone and dashed through the darkened lower level of her home. She scanned the counters for her keys and happened to catch the time from the microwave. Why would Jane be calling her from the hospital at 4:30 a.m. on a Tuesday?

She slid her keys into her pocket and rushed out the front door. Once she'd been exposed for a few moments, she realized that the thin pajama pants and time-worn hoodie were not the best attire for a winter night in Boston. It seemed that a Jane-In-Need was her downfall. They hadn't been close these past few months, but it she still felt the same pull in her heart when Jane spoke. It had been, at least, two months since they'd even gone out together. Maura just couldn't look at the woman she loved, knowing that she was loved by someone else.

With a few fluid movements, Maura was in the car and on her way. It wouldn't take her long to get to the hospital. but, with every minute that passed, Maura thought of new possibilities for Jane's current situation. The detective's line of work was certainly dangerous, and thinking of the injuries she'd suffered previously did nothing to soothe Maura's fears.

She pulled into the parking lot of the Emergency Room and blanched. Jane had surely made Casey her medical contact, so she had no idea where to go. She marched towards the double door and pulled out her phone to call Jane back. She hadn't noticed before, but the number Jane called from was not her own. She swiped to redial that number and sat down on the cement bench. The cold seeped through her thin layers as the phone rang. After what seemed like hours, the ringing stopped.

"H-hello?" Jane sounded as if she'd been asleep.

.

"What's your room number, Jane? I assume I'm no longer your emergency contact." Maura tried to keep her tone calm."

"Room 327 in Blake 14, I'll explain later. Please, just get me out of here."

"I'll be right there." She hung up the phone and walked into the hospital.

With a polite nod to the nurses at the desk, Maura made her way to the elevators. She gingerly stepped in and briefly consulted the map on the wall. Once the car started moving, Maura suddenly felt vulnerable in the lonely, silent box. She thought back to the last time she and Jane had truly spoken. Maybe she could figure out why they had drifted apart.

_"__Hey look, guys. Maura's here!" Jane said to the group gathered at the bar. She swung around haphazardly, her long limbs sluggish and misplaced. Jane Rizzoli was drunk. She wasn't just drunk - she was Sitting-on-Casey's-Lap-Like-a-High-School-Girlfriend drunk. For someone so against public displays of affection, Jane sure seemed to enjoy swiveling around on his lap. The sight made Maura step back slightly. What had she walked into?_

_"__Hey, Doc!" The group raised their mugs in unison. _

_Korsak was deep in conversation with Casey__.__ Frost and Frankie were currently playing a game involving quarters and shots, and Jane was talking to all of them interchangeably. Feeling like an outsider, Maura decided to sit at the bar with Cavanaugh, who was startlingly sober. _

_"__Evening, Doc," he nodded politely, "Glad you could make it."_

_"__It's a pleasure, Sir. May I ask why you're not drinking?" Maura asked delicately. She felt that things had been tense between the two of them after she'd found out that her biological father was responsible for his family's murder._

_He smiled and patted her arm lightly. "I felt like I needed to be sober to take these idiots home. I know Vince will help, but he gets uneasy when Jane let's go like this. We all do." _

_"Why is she so inebriated? I haven't seen her that carefree in quite some time," Maura said, concerned by the lack of alcohol in front of Jane. One would generally see four or five bottles littering the table before the group got this wild, but Jane seemed to have just one half-empty beer and an empty shot glass in front of her. _

_"__Didn't you hear? She's gonna be a Jones," Cavanaugh muttered with a less-than-enthusiastic grunt._

_"__She's..what? Oh. Jane didn't tell me anything," Maura sighed. The information wasn't unexpected really, but that didn't stop the disappointment that came with it. _

_"__She's scared and unhappy. Rizzoli keeps her emotions locked up tighter than her weapon. But, once in a while, she just lets go. I'm not gonna throw any rumors out there, but I think she only agreed to marry him because she thinks he's her last chance." Cavanaugh gestured to the bartender and two beers were set in front of them. _

_Maura's face softened at the information. Did Jane really think so little of herself that she would commit to the first person who showed interest in her? _

_"__I'm happy for her," she mumbled into her beer. "I just wish she'd told me."_

_"__The night's still young, Doc. Don't be too hard on her. I think she's scared to tell you," Cavanaugh slid his untouched beer to Maura, who accepted the drink gracefully. She started to say something to him, but was interrupted by a shout from the table._

_"Hey, Maura, come here!" Jane reached behind herself and hooked a chair from the table behind them. She shimmied back and forth on Casey's lap, making the pair move to the left. She slid the chair in and motioned for Maura to have a seat. _

_"__Hi Jane. I see you're having a good time." Maura tried her best to remain calm. _

_"__I ammm, Maura. You look so pretty!" Jane ran her clumsy hands up and down Maura's dress, casually skimming her body in ways that would normally make the easily-embarrassed woman blush._

_"__Thank you," Maura inhaled deeply to calm her rampant nerves. "Jane, would you please accompany me to the restroom?" _

_Jane slid off Casey's lap and frowned. Maura's defeated look was enough to dampen her mood. She followed Maura into the restroom and frowned when she noticed the blonde's hands had started to shake. She stood there, guilty and awkward, properly shamed. She'd been so caught up that she'd forgotten to tell her best friend that she was engaged. _

_"__Maura, I swear that I was gonna tell you. I ju-"_

_"__You're settling," was all Maura could manage. She squared her shoulders and turned around to face her. _

_Jane's rebuttal froze on her lips as Maura marched up to her and stood less than an inch away. She could see the anger in her eyes, but it wasn't the anger that made Jane's heart pound - it was the disappointment radiating off of her best friend. _

_"__You truly think that you'll be happy with him? Do you think that when this honeymoon period is over he'll still make you smile?" _

_"__I don't know," Jane admitted, knowing that the confession only hurt her friend more. "But, you'll always be here for me, right?" _

_"__I don't know, Jane. I don't." Maura walked past her friend and back out into the crowded bar. The boys were still having fun, throwing childish jabs at each other and taking the most unflattering photos that they could. She noticed that Cavanaugh still sat at the bar, stoic and seemingly irritated by the younger generation's antics. She caught his eye and waved goodbye. A quick wave and a sad, knowing smile bid the doctor farewell. _

"Uhh Ma'am? What floor are you looking for?" A kind voice broke Maura from her reverie. She jumped, startled at the voice, and blushed at her reaction.

"Third floor. I'm sorry, I must have gotten lost in my own thoughts," she looked above and grimaced. The next floor was number eight; she'd definitely need to get her mind in order.

"Oh, that's ok. You just looked heartbroken. I hoped you weren't going to the morgue." The woman in scrubs laughed at her own joke.

"Not today," Maura muttered, almost giggling at the the woman's bewildered expression. She didn't even muster an explanation as the woman skittered off the elevator at the next stop.

She sighed and pushed the down arrow. When she arrived at the third floor, she exited and walked down the hall to Jane's room. Once she got the door, she took a deep breath and pushed the door open. Inside, Jane sat cross legged on her hospital bed, head in her hands. She didn't even look up when Maura entered her room.

"Jane?" Maura stopped and flinched at the dark circles under her red-rimmed eyes.

"I'm sorry, Maura," she whispered. Her body started to shake then she sobbed. "I'm just so sorry."

"Why?" Maura asked, appalled. Was she still talking about her engagement?

"I woke you up." She motioned towards Maura's state of dress. "I didn't want to, but no one else would answer."

"Where's Casey?" It took all of Maura's self-control to not spit his name with malice.

"He won't answer. We fought like hell before I got here. I told him that I couldn't marry him."

"Did he-" her eyes narrowed at the thought of anyone hurting Jane.

"No, nothing like that. I-I told him that I'd been taking medication, and he didn't like that. That pissed me off. How is he going to work in the field he does, and call me weak for taking Venlafaxine? I don't get it," Jane grumbled, throwing her hands out in desperation.

"Venla…oh, Jane." Maura threw her arms around her best friend and held on tight.

"Old news, Maur. I kept _that _a secret from everyone except Cavanaugh. I-did you even realize what this floor is?"

"Well, it's Blake 1-oh." She stopped mid-sentence - Blake 14, the maternity ward and the third floor, the recovery rooms.

"Yeah. I guess my medication mixed with stress just didn't agree with my pregnancy." Jane's voice was grey, emotionless.

"How long…"

"Ten weeks. I didn't know, actually. I-does it make me a bad person that I'm glad? I'm just not very good at keeping myself in line. Who am I to try and raise another soul?"

"Well, at ten weeks, your fetus-"

"Don't say it Maura, please?" Jane finally rose from the bed and grabbed her clothes from the bedside chair. Maura looked at her, trying to gather the courage for her last question.

"Did you get a D&C?" She watched Jane's shoulders drop.

"Yes," Jane said, tersely. "They gave me a script to take care of any residual pain."

"Do you want me to take you home?" Maura saw her pained expression and decided that Jane was not in the correct state to be making decisions for herself. "Nevermind, you're coming with me."

"I-would you at least call Casey for me? If it's you, he'll probably answer. I don't even care what you tell him. I just need him to know," Jane begged as they left the room.

"Of course. Let's get you home. I'll even let you sleep in my bed, even though you're a blanket hog." Maura playfully bumped Jane's shoulder. It was a common sign of affection between the pair, but tonight, it carried a deeper meaning. It meant that, for now, things were back to the way that they had been.

Jane simply nodded and let herself be lead towards the main entrance of the hospital. After she'd been discharged and given multiple pamphlets for various maladies, Jane finally let herself cry. Perhaps it was the smell of Maura's car with memories of their endeavors, or maybe it was the fact that she had needed to lose a child to realize just how badly she'd treated her best friend.

Maura, in an effort to save face in front of her mourning friend, filled the short ride home with pleasant silence. Any questions she had for Jane could wait until they were both rested. Once they arrived at Maura's, she insisted that Jane rest in her bed while she called everyone.

The first call was to the pharmacy a few blocks away; Jane's prescription would be ready in 45 minutes. While she waited, she set out a glass of water and a piece of fruit for Jane. She'd take them up to her when she finished with the rest of her calls. Picking up her phone, she scrolled down to Casey's name. Maura let it ring a few times, assuming that he would still be used to rising early.

"Jones," answered the chipped, harsh voice of Lt. Colonel Casey Jones.

"Casey, this is Maura. I-"

"Where's Jane?" he demanded. "She hasn't come back yes, and I would like to know if she's okay."

"Well, Casey," Maura braced herself for the verbal assault she had planned. "You should have answered your phone the fifteen times she called you. Jane will be staying with me for a bit. Don't worry about her."

"What am I going to do then?" Casey muttered.

"I honestly do not care." Maura's lack of concern towards him was obvious. She did not care what he did in his personal life, so long as he left them alone.

"What a great friend you are. Tell Jane to call me when she feels like it." He didn't even wait for an affirmation before continuing to prattle on. "By the way, Maura, if you'd wanted to sleep with my fiancé, all you had to do was ask. I'm sure we could have come to an _arrangement._"

"Don't get mad when someone else starts to appreciate the person you took for granted. What you won't do, someone else will, Casey Jones." When she heard his line disconnect, Maura smiled and nodded. She was proud, very rarely did she stand up for herself.

Maura set her phone down and checked the time. She still had about 20 minutes until she was needed at the pharmacy, so she decided to bring Jane her water and snack. Quietly, Maura listened for sounds coming from her bedroom. She was met with silence, so she pushed the door open and saw Jane in a bundle in the middle of the bed.

She set down the water and snack, then set about making Jane more comfortable, After taking off Jane's socks and shoes, she placed a small kiss on the brunette's head and went back downstairs.

Jane opened one eye and smiled. She knew that she could always count on her best friend. Even if they hadn't been close, they would still be best friends at the end of the day. Jane felt safe with Maura, and that wasn't normal for Jane. With all the evils out in the real world, it meant so much to be able to feel so protected by her. She hadn't been the greatest friend to her lately, and Jane vowed to change that. Maura Isles was a fantastic woman, and it was her time to be treated at such.


	91. Train - Marry Me

If you look on my tumblr(kathyisweird), there's gifs in lieu of lyrics in this fic. But, obviously that wouldn't work here. I'm sorry there's been a lull in stories, I've just been busy.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Marry Me<strong>_

"Ma! Stop it already!" Jane yelled at the woman who had just waltzed into her apartment at 8 a.m. yelling about relationships.

"Janie. My sweet girl," Angela murmured, taking her daughter's face in her hands. "I just want to see you happy."

Jane rolled her eyes and squirmed out her her mother's grasp. It was one thing for her to ask Jane about her plans for the future, but to be reminded during every single one of their interactions just made Jane feel like she'd never find love. She was used to waking up alone, and going through her morning routine. There was a certain sense of satisfaction that came with the same repeated action every single day.

"I know, Ma. Listen, I promise that I'm happy! I mean, I wouldn't turn down a date or anything, I'm just not actively searching for anyone right now. Can you respect that please?" she unplugged her phone from the wall and slid it into the holder on her hip.

"I guess so, just promise that you wont bring home anymore men that only love you for your mother's heavenly cooking," Angela laughed at the inside joke the shared. Jane's last boyfriend has insisted on only being present on Sunday nights for the Rizzoli dinner.

"I'll try Ma." Jane kissed her cheek and ran out the door, not even realizing that she'd just left her mother there to nose through her things. She shut the door and ran down her stairs, ready for another day.

_**Today and every day. **_

"Maura."

"Paddy."

"This will probably be our last visit," the older man coughed once and winced.

"Why so?" Maura inquired, afraid that she already knew the answer.

"I'm dying, but you already knew that. I won't waste your time, Maura. I know that I was a shitty father. But, I do still love you." His eyes watered as he tried ti suppress another bout of coughing.

"I'm aware," she replied tersely. Maura Isles did not appreciate being woken early with a phone call from the prison that her mobster father was being held at.

"This...this isn't easy for me to admit, but I'd always wanted to be the best man at your wedding," Paddy looked downwards, a little too embarrassed to look at his daughter.

"That's sweet but, I'm not seeing anyone," Maura smiled sadly. It wasn't for lack of trying, she was just a little...different than most women. Sure, she was deemed attractive by society's warped standards, but that did nothing to aid her love life once she started to speak.

"I know that. Just...consider it a dying man's wish." he scaped the chair back and waved the guard over. With a curt nod he whispered,

_**Marry me.**_

"Look at Rizzoli's profile from that undercover gig, it says she's 'looking for companionship', she must be desperate to still have it running. It says she's online right now!" the men laughed at their computer as Jane flushed. She really only left it up so that she could honestly tell her mother that she was trying to find someone. What she didn't tell her was the this was on a site exclusively for women. It wasn't that Angela had a narrow mind, she just would double her efforts to set Jane up on dates.

She quickly exited the site on her computer, ashamed at being caught. Being single was really started to become one of the main issues in her life. When her personal business started to bleed into her work, then it was going too far. Jane looked over her computer at her brother, who was clicking and typing furiously to try and keep his anger in tow. He was always protective of his older sister, especially in the male-dominated line of work they'd chosen.

"Frankie, I'm taking my lunch. I'm going to the cafe, do you want anything?" she nodded towards her brother, who just raised his hand and shook his head. Jane made a mental note to grab him a brownie, just for being such a good brother.

She punched out and headed towards the door. She decided to walk to the cafe, the few blocks would give her ample time to clear her mind.

Maura stopped when she spotted a parking spot along the curb. She signaled and moved into the spot with ease. Parallel parking was something she prided herself on executing perfect. The instructor, when she'd tested for her license at the DMW nearly 20 years ago, hadn't even asked her to attempt it. So, in a bout of youthful rebellion, she'd spent a solid week perfecting the skill.

Soon she was waiting in the long line at the cafe. Honestly, she could have driven to the Starbucks down the road and been given corporate coffee at a quick speed. But, something about this welcoming cafe made her feel at home, comfortable.

Paddy's words still permeated her thoughts. She had honestly been expecting him to confess to a murder, not to the fact that he wanted to see her happily wed before he died.

_**If I ever get the nerve to say "Hello" in this cafe.**_

"Hey, could I see the sports section, I wanna see if the Sox won." Maura looked up at a beautiful brown-eyed woman and simple nodded, handing over the entire paper.

"I'm done with it, here you go," she stuttered uncharacteristically. She mentally chastised herself at her lack of composure. Before today she'd thought the term "breathtaking beauty" was just a romantic cliche. That is, until she met this woman.

"Thanks, I appreciate it." their fingers touched during the exchange, making Jane's cheeks warm. This woman in line was almost angelic. Jane thought back to her mother's warning and stepped outside of her comfort zone.

"Hey, thanks for being so sweet to me. Most people in this city would growl at me if I asked them to forfeit their paper," she smiled down at the blonde, and gestured towards the counter, where the barista was waiting. "I'll grab your coffee, consider it a thank you from Boston's finest."

"Oh, the whole city?" Maura teased while stepping up to the woman. It felt nice to have someone treat her like this.

"Oh yes, the whole city will thank you for letting Detective Jane Rizzoli have her morning coffee with a smile. It makes for a happy homicide squad. Besides, I came in here grumpy. So I, personally, thank you for brightening my day."

"Well, only if you let me take you for dinner tonight. If, you're free that is?" Maura bit her lip as Jane seemed to ponder this idea.

"Sure, why not. I'm off at six, meet me here at seven?" she assumed that familiar territory would put them both at ease. It wasn't every day that a gorgeous woman asked to take her out.

"That sounds great," Maura smiled. "Shall we order?"

"Sure." Jane smiled back.

_**Say you will. **_


	92. Macklemore ft Ryan Lewis - Otherside

When I started this playlist fic, it was to try and get better at writing. I'm really thankful for all the support, and I hope that my writing quality has improved. :) This one isn't sad...but I really wanted to write realistic!rizzles and so this happened... 

**Otherside. **

"Jane?" an out-of-focus hand waved back and forth in her line of sight, coming dangerously close to her face.

"Yeah, sorry what?" she shook her head. She'd let her mind run away from her again and it needed to stop. If that what Maura has meant by her brain shrinking and leading to forgetfulness, she'd never admit it. That conversation was one that left her having cranial-themed nightmares for weeks.

"We think it's time-released. That's the only explanation for why it's taken almost an hour to open," Korsak stood up and rubbed his hand along the back of his neck with a grimace. He was getting too old to be squatting for periods of time. Back in the day, he'd brag about being able to stay in the uncomfortable position for hours, likely a skill likely learned from his early years in baseball.

"When did you guys get R2B2 to work?" Jane opened her blazer and let some of the air circulate around her. She quickly shut it once she saw everyone's gaze drop to her abdomen. Even at work, she couldn't escape the reality that she was 16 weeks pregnant and starting to show. It wasn't even that Jane felt large or swollen, it was that she couldn't even expose herself for some relief without copious amounts of gawking from her peers. It was humiliating, and not welcomed at a crime scene. She very obviously directed her vision to the machine that was latched onto the door they were trying to open, hoping that everyone else would follow.

"Fifty-eight minutes and ten seconds ago. We're lucky the Doc was here, she knew how to turn the blasted thing on. It slipped my mind that the only person who'd gone to training was Frost. We finally cracked the code, who the hell uses their birthday?" At the mention of her title, Maura's head lifted from where she was fiddling with a keypad on the door.

"Unfortunately, more than half of the population uses some form of personal information for their codes." Maura shook her head for a moment and focused back on her task.

Jane made a mental note to change her bank pin. She looked at the team they'd hauled out on a Saturday. It would be aggravating if they (including Korsak) had been called in for nothing.

"Anyone know what this is?" Jane asked, fairly certain that she already knew the answer. The octagon shaped door was next to William Anderson's washer and dryer in his cellar. The city had gotten a distress call from the neighbors. Apparently the man's usually meticulous yard was nearly a foot tall and unkempt, which was highly unusual.

"Bomb shelter most likely. If we can't crack this code soon, we might have to try and find a spot from above. For being a seemingly homemade shelter, this puppy seems pretty tight." Jane nodded at Korsak's observation and bent down to Maura's level.

"I suspect that the time-lock is set for sixty minutes and ten seconds. It allows time for processing, and could potentially throw anyone off the trail. Adding those ten seconds at the end could potentially save you in case of raid. Ten seconds is a long time when trying to heist or attack. Most locks are designed this way. See?" Maura pointed towards the keypad, it's normal red backlight changing to green. "I suppose we could have avoided all of this, he used his birth year as a pin. But, the repercussions of guessing, in this case, would only make things worse." Jane rolled her eyes.

"So, we think this guy's in here?" Jane turned to Korsak, who just shrugged.

"Neighbors, old coots I tell ya, they insisted he'd been tossed down here by his son. If that's not true, I'm going to be pissed that I got called in on my day off for something that should've gone to missing persons," he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pencil light.

"Honors?" Jane waved someone to the door. For some reason, her heart wasn't into being the first or the fastest today. She'd spent a gracious chunk of the night thinking about her life and what she was going to do about her...issues.

Korsak nodded and stepped between Jane and Maura. He gave the handle a firm tug and grunted at how heavy the door was.

"It's most likely filled with concrete and lead, with at least three feet of earth around it. That particular strategy became common during the cold war. They haven't been used by any professional agencies since 1991. He may be a Veteran?" Maura said as they walked into the area.

"This is-woah!" Jane yelled as the motion-triggered light turned on, illuminating the 8x8 room. Lines of medical supplies and dry food padded each wall, along with a few weapons of choice.

"There he is," Maura said quietly. The man was huddled in a corner, trembling while holding what seemed to be a very old combat knife. The actual blade was cracked, rendering the weapon useless.

"Stay away! Back, back!" he tried to stand, but couldn't muster the energy. Based upon the length of his beard, and the small corner of food that had been removed, Maura deducted(without guessing) that he had probably been in here around 10 days.

"Jane, please stay back." She knew once she'd said it, that it was a mistake. Jane, first, did not like to be told what to do- Maura knew that. Also, she became agitated any time someone referenced her pregnancy while working. The formidable detective had a public weakness now, and was not happy about it. So, to hear it reiterated out loud, just got on her nerves.

"Maura." It was a warning.

"I'll get him, I think he'd react better to me anyways. One second." The older man took his coat off and handed it to Jane, who just rolled her eyes and held it at a distance, like a petulant child. After a few moments she dropped in on a case of crackers.

He walked towards the older man and knelt down. Once the man noticed that Vince wasn't berating him, or threatening him like his good-for-nothing children, he relented and let himself be pulled up. Slowly, they walked out of the shelter, Sergeant Detective Korsak whispering things to the terrified man.

"Early onset dementia," Maura started to explain.

Jane held out her hand, not ready for a lesson.

"So, this may be a weird question but, where's the bathroom?" Jane looked perplexed, as if she'd been thinking about this the whole time.

"I do believe you're standing on it," Maura held a hand up to her mouth to shield her amusement.

Jane looked down to see a small square cut into the floor. A tiny handle and a slide lock were all she needed to see before she skittered away. She tried her best not to gag, it wasn't even gross but her body was slowly winning out when it came to her gag reflex. She found herself disgusted by things she used to love. However, bathrooms were not on that list.

"Well, let's get him to the precinct and look up his kids, maybe they can help us out," Jane grabbed Maura's kit bag and handed it to her. "Looks like a false alarm guys. Pack it up."

"Just a moment, I really want to look at the foundation of this place. If he made this himself, it could have taken years, at least someone should appreciate it," Maura ran a hand over the rough walls, taking in all the details that the public eye would likely oversee.

Jane grunted and sat down on a case of peanut butter. She wouldn't freely admit it, but she was going to have to change her footwear soon, if she planned on being mobile at scenes.

"We done in here?" a voice yelled outside the shelter.

"Frankie we're still in here!" Jane yelled to her brother, who just looked at her and grinned like a Cheshire cat.

"Yeah, lock her up!"

"Alright!" a second voice, most likely a field tech, called out.

Jane jumped up and lunged for the door, the pain in her feet masked by adrenaline. Mere seconds before she could catch the door, it swung shut and reset. She crashed into the cement, her hands taking most of the impact, and yelled out in frustration.

"Damnit!"

"Oh goodness, did someone close the door?" Maura stood to inspect the hinges, finding they were air tight. She ran her hand up and down the seal of the door, not ashamed of being impressed.

"No! Frankie is being a dick. He's mad because I helped hide Chogokin on Friday after he got turned down by Charlie the Uniform." Jane marched to the door and pounded on it, screaming for anyone to help. Once that proved to fix nothing, Jane punched the door, grimacing in pain as she realized how immature she was acting.

"It seems that we're stuck. I hate to assume, but I think that these walls are also soundproof," Maura muttered. She traced the doorframe looking for any seams or weak spots. "No one can hear us!"

"Jesus fu-" Jane stopped her sentence short once she realized that she was still holding her phone.

A quick glance showed that while Jane had no reception in the bunker, she did, however have a data connection. She turned on her messaging and hoped that Korsak would figure out what she was doing. She typed out a message, telling him that she and Maura were stuck in there.

"Oh, good thinking Jane," Maura smiled as she kicked off her shoes and sat down on a bag of what seemed to be mass amounts of sugar. "Come sit down, pacing won't change the outcome." She patted the spot next to her.

Jane rolled her eyes for a third time and joined her on the bag, unzipping her boots and slipping them off. The look of happiness that crossed Jane's face made Maura laugh and pat Jane's thigh.

"Give 'em here," Maura said softly, knowing that Jane's ego easily bruised as of late. Jane tried her best not to smile, but failed. Maura could always sense what was bugging her, or what part of her body was causing her pain.

With circular, soothing motions, Maura pressed her thumbs into Jane's plantar fascia ligament, making her toes curl with relief.

After nearly ten minutes passed Maura silently admiring her partner, who had laid back against a case of bottled water. The detective's eyes were fluttering, a sure sign that she was relaxed.

"M…..Maura," she drawled, too comfortable to even open her eyes.

"Yes Jane?" Maura asked without ceasing her massage.

"Will you see if Korsak messaged me back?" Jane slid the phone out of her blazer pocket and handed it over to the doctor with minimal movement. Maura unlocked the phone and typed in Jane's passcode.

"Yes, he said that he's on his way out of town, but he'll here around four," Maura locked and pocketed the phone, knowing that Jane probably would ask her to check it again soon. Jane opened her mouth and was interrupted. "It's also 1 p.m." She smiled at returned to her light dozing.

"Fuckin' assholes were planning this," Jane murmured.

The doctor, a little overheated by Jane's extremities in her lap, removed her jacket, folded it lightly, set it next to her on the ground.

"Hey why'd you stop?" the pregnant woman trailed off, quickly slipping back into her nap. A deep chuckle rose from Maura at the childish display. She decided to go beyond the simple request, and one-up her detective. .

Her skilled hands moved up a tight Achilles tendon, rubbing all the way up a tanned calf. She scooted Jane's pant leg to above her knee, and resumed the massage up her leg. She let her mind wander off while she aimlessly dragged her fingers up and down Jane's shin. After a few minutes, she repeated on Jane's other leg, without a second thought. Mentally, Maura was going over cases, thinking about what she needed for groceries, and when she could approach the subject of a baby shower with her friend. She blushed as she let herself indulge in the thought of throwing Jane a shower. It was unlikely that the detective would appreciate the festivities, even if she was promised hot wings (Maura's new invaluable bargaining chip after beer became obsolete.)

A warm hand stilled her arm, and broke her from her meditative trance. She cast a look at Jane, who gazed at Maura lazily.

"If you keep going at that rate, we're going to need some privacy," Jane joked, then realized that they did have ample amounts of it, being locked in a bunker. "Well, uhh…," she winced, embarrassed at the awkward comment.

"Are you that sensitive already, Jane? I know that pregnancy heightens skin sensitivity, but that usually doesn't start until at least 20 weeks, up until then usually touching is irritating," Maura nervously spewed facts. They were in an awkward position, and she could only go so long without bringing up feelings and thoughts that she'd buried long ago in favor of their friendship.

"Apparently so." Jane sat up, fixed her pants, and sat cross-legged facing Maura. She cleared her throat and look over at Maura, who was flushed a deep shade of crimson. "How long 'til Korsak gets here?"

"Two and a half hours," was all Maura was comfortable with answering. Numbers, she could deal with those. Numbers didn't confuse you with innuendo and missed social cues. Numbers weren't sitting in your lap with beautiful long legs and-

"Maura, stop!" Jane yelped at the hands that had started rubbing habitual circles on her thighs. Normally, the gesture would bring comfort, but now it was just making her heart pound.

"I'm sorry!" Maura blushed and clasped her hands together in her lap. She cast a glance at Jane, who had her face screwed up as if she was in pain. "I didn't realize." The detective had her eyes closed and was murmuring to herself.

"Are you okay?" the concerned medical examiner cried. Jane hadn't relaxed, and was starting to turn red.

"My hormones are just crazy today. I'm sorry for snapping," Jane opened her eyes to look directly at Maura, hoping that would convey her true emotion. With a sigh of relief, the m.e. nodded and seemingly accepted her apology. She smiled back and bumped shoulders with the blonde, letting her know that she wasn't upset.

"So, a simple massage gets you bothered now? I'll make sure to keep my hands away, Detective," Maura winked comically, and tried to joke away the tension between them. In the early stages of their friendship, a well-placed sexually lined mock retort would shatter any awkward moments, making the pair dissolve in childish giggles. However, they weren't two gal-pals anymore, what they had...it was deeper, more intimate.

"I guess so, hah." Jane shrugged and shook her head. Her hands were still vice-gripping the bag below her, so she let go and shook them a few times. With a few test fists, Jane stretched her hand taut and hissed when they started to cramp. She looked to the ceiling and willed herself not to cry. The cramps resulting from her hand wounds could almost always reduce her to tears, it felt like someone had stuck their finger into her hand and pulled the sensitive muscles and tendons.

"Oh goodness! How hard were you gripping?" Maura looked horrified. She grabbed her hands and began to push out the constricting muscles. The whimpers of pain subsided eventually, leaving her exhausted once more. Maura took both of Jane's hands into her own, placing a small kiss on the scar on each one. The gesture was deeply intimate, and took the emotional woman by surprise.

Jane looked up with teary eyes, and made a solid connection with Maura's gaze. For seconds they just stared, lost in their own thoughts and feelings until Jane, fueled by her hormones, leaned in and placed a brief kiss on Maura's lips. They both closed their eyes as their noses brushed and their foreheads touched. They leaned on each other, emotionally and physically.

Maura's eyes fluttered open and she once again made eye contact with Jane. For a moment, they just sat there, breathing heavily. A soft hand caressed a tanned, angular cheekbone, brushing a wayward strand of hair. She put both hands on either side of Jane's face and brought them together once more.

"We have two hours," Jane said quietly.

"Are you sure?" Maura did not want to leave herself open to the inevitable heartbreak that always came with unrequited love.

"Well, you kind of made it impossible to think. It's embarrassing, I feel like a caveman. I mean, last time I checked, I was pregnant because I had sex...with a man," Jane grimaced at her reminder.

"Sexuality isn't black and white, Jane.. Don't think about what it's called, think about what you feel," Maura rubbed a thumb over Jane's cheekbones.

"It's not that Maura. It's...? I want to do this, but I don't know if it's just for release, or something else," she admitted, ashamed at her indecisiveness. She didn't want to be someone who used Maura; she wasn't like all the other people in her life.

"We can talk about it later, just let me help you." Maura slid off the bag and onto the floor. Jane hesitated, but soon joined her.

"Sit up against the sugar. I don't want to put any pressure on your torso," Maura guided her gently upwards.

"Maura, I just don't know if I can recipr-"

"This is about you, Jane Rizzoli, not myself. Let me take care of you."

"Okay. I...I trust you."

The sudden admittance made Maura blush. Jane had a reputation when it came to letting her guard down, especially when she was working. Maura gently unclipped her gun and set it aside, followed soon by her badge. She removed the blazer and set it behind Jane's head for added support. Raising on her knees, the blonde dipped downwards and placed a series of soft, loving kisses down Jane's neck, relishing in the musk of her partner. She then moved off to the side and continued her actions.

Jane sucked her bottom lip in and tried to forget the fact that Maura, her best friend, was being more intimate with her than any of her prior partners. She could feel the amount of loving pouring out of her friend's lips every time they made contact with her skin. A warm hand landed on her ribs, and slowly descended until it had reached the hem of her shirt. Maura's lips had moved to her collarbone, leaving a soft trail in their wake while her hand worked into way under Jane's shirt.

Jane arched slightly, the attention to her abdomen not unwelcomed. Nimble fingers drummed lazily on her ribs while Maura's other hand rubbed calming patterns on the small of her back. She moaned quietly when the hand and lips met on her chest. Maura, knowing that pregnant women experience breast tenderness through the first two trimesters, decided to caress Jane softly, no pressure, no squeezing, just a bit of attention before she moved on.

The feeling of soft palms trailing up and over her chest made Jane throw her head back and suck in deep breaths. Sensing that she was getting frustrated, Maura pulled her shirt back down and moved on to her pants. The fabric that used to hang from angular hips, now sat flush against her convex stomach. She had yet to ever truly admire Jane's ever-changing body, so she took this opportunity to do so. Maura left four light kisses on all the corners of the abdomen in front of her.

"Uh..Maura. I'm..uh," Jane flushed, embarrassed at her own body's neediness. Looked up once more and nodded. "I've never gotten this turned on by a woman before. I blame it on my hormones."

Maura smiled and shook her head, "Of course."

"Hey now, even you said that I would suddenly want things that I'd never craved before!" Jane made a valiant attempt to defend herself.

"I was more so talking about pickles," Maura said, a coy smile on her lips. "I'll be gentle," it was a request masked as a statement. When Jane nodded in agreement, she started once more.

She undid the clasp of Jane's pants and slowly slid the zipper down. With a tug, they slipped over her hips and pooled at her knees. She peeled the boyshorts down slowly, kissing Jane's most private parts.

"Gentle," Jane whispered. Her hands found Maura's head as she tangled her fingers in the blonde locks. Maura tasted her for the first time and Jane saw stars. It was fantastic, perfect, it was nothing less than Isles' standard. What Maura was doing to her, was something she'd never let a man do, it had always seemed too personal. But, the love that she had for this woman, was far more powerful than anything she'd ever felt. That power scared her to death, but also made her feel invincible- she could overcome anything.

Maura quickly brought Jane to the edge and caught her on her way down. This was not about pleasure, this was about much more. This was about letting Jane relax, and let her guard down without fear. She tensed as Jane's legs came together and her body shuddered in its final release. Maura kissed her target once again, and set on redressing the detective.

"Wait, Maura. I- I wanna help you too." cold reality trickled down her spine, making her shiver. "But, we need to talk." Jane was trembling. How could she look at the woman who just bared her soul to her, and tell her she did not know what she felt? Reality set in, followed by a powerful wave of guilt. Maura deserved explanations and adoration, something Jane could not give her right now. Not in the way she wanted to, at least. Facts and assurances were not the detective's strong suit. She was all over the place and would be for some time.

After the extended awkward pause after their activities, Jane wasn't surprised that Maura broke the silence first.

"You don't feel it do you, you don't love me." Maura's question turned into a dull, flat statement.

"I want to."

"Do you?" Maura hugged herself, trembling. She felt bare and vulnerable, naked for the world to torture. She'd ruined everything by listening to her organs. This is why she didn't rely on anything but her mind.

"I do. Sometimes I wake up in the morning, nestled into your arms, and I wonder if I could live the rest of my life like this," Jane was crying now, thick, emotional tears dripping onto her shirt. "Maura, you're the whole package. My life would be perfect if I could love you that way. But, you deserve someone who can make you feel important, feel loved."

"You do!" Maura urged, knowing that this was not a battle she was going to win. How could she be upset with Jane's reasoning?

"I'm straight though, even if it hasn't done me any favors. Can, can I do this for you though Maura? Please? Just once?" Jane put a hand on either one of her shoulders and brought her lips to Maura's ear. "I want to love you, so fucking badly. I- I just. I don't know if I'm capable of it." Jane pulled away and waiting for a response. "It's just not who I am, as much as I hate it. I want to love you, to make you mine, but I just don't feel that way." she wondered if Maura could spot the lies in her eyes.

Maura looked up with tears in her eyes, and waited for Jane's punchline. Surely this was a joke, a cruel prank played for a cheap thrill that left Maura lonely and self-loathing.

Jane saw the fear in her eyes and moved towards Maura, placing her lips on her forehead. "You took care of me. Hell, you've always taken care of me. Can I help you, just this once?"

Maura brushed her tears away and shot a watery smile at her best friend.

"It's...it's just been a long while since anyone feigned any real interest towards me. I'm afraid it's left me rather...damaged."

"How long?" Jane demanded quietly.

"Ian. I haven't been desired since him, and I often wonder if he truly wanted to be with me. Perhaps he just 'put up' with me, to reap the benefits of my career. Are people really capable of that Jane? Have I tried this long to integrate into society, only to realize that they do not want me?" Maura was shaking now, her hands clasped tightly in her lap.

The reality of Maura's feelings slammed into Jane, leaving her speechless. How could someone not want or love this woman? It was a crime against humanity.

"Let me, okay?" Jane nodded slowly.

"Will it change anything?" Maura was apprehensive about the tension that would build between them.

"Hopefully for the better. If you claim to be broken, I'm willing to try and help fix you. Maura, I may not love you the same way that you love me, but I love you more than just a friend. I could be with you, and be happy. But, I wouldn't love you the way that you deserve, and that's not fair."

"I would be okay," Maura admitted, knowing exactly what Jane meant. "But, you need happiness, and I can't give that to you."

Jane's mouth hung open. This was not the Maura Isles she'd met years before, this was not the person who told Casey off after he'd called about returning his ring. This Maura was defeated, quiet, meek. This Maura was the woman she'd met for the first time over a dead body in Jamaica Plains, too quiet to even say anything short of medical jargon. This was a shell of the woman Jane was best friends with. Jane, deciding to take the plunge, moved forward again and kissed Maura.

"Please, just let yourself be loved by someone who will be there in the end. I'll never leave you, I promise. Even if we're just friends, I love you and I want you to love yourself," Jane whispered into her ear.

Maura turned her head and stared at Jane, who was mere inches away. Slowly, Maura nodded, not trusting speech to convey what she was feeling. So, she kissed Jane again, this time a bit harder.

Jane wrapped hand behind Maura's hair, while the other landed on her hip. Slowly, she lowered them to the ground, taking care to not wrinkle any of their clothes. She hovered over Maura, trailing her hand up her sides, and back down to her hip. Sliding her hand out from behind Maura's head, Jane cupped Maura's face and placed more kisses on her lips, nose, and cheeks.

"I want to love you, Maura. You're heavenly. You're gorgeous, you're smart, and you have the biggest heart I've even had the pleasure of experiencing. You are everything I could be happy with, but I just can't. God, do you know how many times I watched you walk out of the bathroom, in just a towel, only to walk to your patio doors and look like a fucking angel from Heaven?"

"Y-you did?" Maura's breathing was increasing due to Jane's fingers, which were slowly unbuttoning her blouse.

"Of course." She smiled down at the blonde. "Just because I prefer men, doesn't mean that I can't appreciate your beauty," trembling hands slipped the silk down Maura's shoulders. The obvious slip of her tongue was overlooked by both. Prefer.

"You think I'm beautiful?" Maura's face softened. It had been so long -too long- since she'd been honestly told that.

"Yes, I've told you that before!" Jane dipped down and kissed the valley between her breasts. Soft fingertips trailed like raindrops down her torso, pooling at the band of the soft skirt. Maura was breathing heavily, her flushed chest rising and falling quickly. Jane's hands trembled slightly as she fumbled with the zipper on the side. Once she took this step, there was no going back, no pretending that this never happened.

"You're beautiful too," Maura's voice was light, a whisper. "You're easy to fall in love with."

"But damned hard to love."

"Not really, it's harder to stop loving you. The rest comes naturally."

"Oh, Maura," Jane's heart hurt as she pushed the skirt down and stared at the last hurdle. "You're so wonderful. Someone will love you for who you truly are, I swear. And you will make them so happy, Maura. You'll make them so happy that they're going to wonder why anyone else would run away. You're first prize, Maura. You're the one."

Jane slid the last piece of fabric down and slid up to lie next to her.

"Look at me." It was a simple request, Jane wanted to see that her next few words were not taken lightly. She slid inside Maura gently, not moving too quickly. Slowly, they found a simple rhythm. Maura's eyes closed, her face blissful and content. It was warm, comfortable, like returning home.

"Maura Isles, you are the dumbest genius I know, but I wouldn't have you any other way. You reach out to those in need, selflessly. You are kind, you are genuine, and you're honest. There is nothing more that anyone could ask for. Do you understand?"

She nodded, unable to speak. The edge was coming closer, but she held back. She was terrified of being vulnerable, of letting her guard down. Would they come out of this still friends? Or would the whispers and cancelled plans start up like every other friendship she'd formed?

"I'm here for you." the assurance freed Maura's heart.

Jane just held her close and whispered loving terms in her ear as she came undone in the arms. Her partner's body was trembling, a mix of fear and pleasure, and all she could do was hold her tighter than she ever had.

Jane kissed her once more and sat up, pulling the blonde with her. They stayed that way, just looking at each other and processing what had happened. Jane's arms circled her, bringing their bodies flush together. Together they stood slowly, their limbs aching from their place on the floor.

Once Maura's breathing was back to normal, she grabbed her clothes and redressed. She located her jacket, and remembered that she'd taken Jane's phone. She handed the phone over to the detective, who unlocked it and glanced at it.

"We still have an hour left. What do you want to do, play another word origin game?" Jane laughed over her bad joke.

"To be honest, I could use a nap. Care to join me?" Maura pulled the sugar bags off each other and made a makeshift bed. Jane nodded in approval and the pair laid down.

"Hey Maura?"

"Yes, Jane?" she was already drifting off.

"Why didn't we do this in the first place? You let me have sex on a metal floor?" Jane said, annoyed. She would surely feel this in her bones when they woke up.

"Correction, you let me have sex with you on a metal floor, go to sleep," she quipped.

Jane rolled her eyes for a final time and looked over at Maura, who was falling asleep with a smile on her face. She smiled at the site of her happy, refreshed best friend, and let herself relax as well.

Two hours and sixteen minutes later, they were found in the same position by Korsak. Using the man's birthday, they'd gotten the lock open immediately, therefore they only had to wait the hour and ten seconds. He, after a miniature lesson from Frankie, pulled out his phone and snapped a photo of the two. It was rare to see either woman so tranquil or calm. He smiled at the image, he'd always had a soft spot for Rizzoli, and anyone who made her happy. Just to be safe, he snapped one more and emailed it to himself. He would show them the photos some day, when the time was right.

He turned to leave the bunker and spotted his jacket sitting on some crackers. He sighed Jane's name and grabbed it, turning once more to look at the pair on the floor. How could he be upset?


End file.
